Soulmates
by petals-to-fish
Summary: It's going to take a grumpy blind man, dementors, and a patronus to make these two lovers agree that they're made for each other. Jily patronus 'soulmates' trope multi-chapter. xxxFINISHEDxxx
1. State of Grace

**I've been doing Jily AU's for quite sometime and so, here I am, back to 'canon' with a Hogwarts centered fic playing with the patronus-soulmates-trope. I hope you enjoy the ramblings of my imagination because this fic is as silly as it is dark and as hormone induced as it was tumblr fueled.**

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

 _love is a ruthless game_

As far as Lily Evans was concerned the end-of-summer bonfire thrown by the MacMillan twins was a great justification to drink and laugh as her best friends Mary and Marlene pirouetted like ballerinas in front of the a crackling fire. They were on a remote beach outside of a small village in Wales, the invitation stressing to _bring your own Firewhisky_. The MacMillan twins had built the fire so wide that if one tried they couldn't look over or around it. Lily and her friends had stolen prime spots far enough from the fire that it warmed their skin as they teased and danced with each other.

The firewhisky bottle Lily held in her hand was ice cold even though the liquid had already been drained from it. The other Gryffindor's from school were close by, some roasting marshmallows and some dancing to the music floating through the air. Lily's eyes fell more than once on two boys dancing awkwardly only feet away. The firewhiskey in her blood made her face hotter when the boy with hazel eyes winked at her cunningly. Lily decided to turn her attention elsewhere.

Marlene McKinnon's long dirt blonde hair was waving and turning different colors against the firelight as she grabbed Lily's hands and began spinning them both around like loons. The radio was playing was some form of wizard rock; causing all the kids surrounding the fire to dance. Lily's firewhisky bottle fell by her feet in the grass and Marlene kicked it out of the way so the girls could keep dancing in circles together.

More people joined the dancing and soon it was a cluster of Hogwarts students simply enjoying the freedom summer gave them. They were all grabbing hands, do-si-do-ing, and twirling each other shamelessly. It was hard to keep track of whom she was dancing with until Lily twirled from Mary MacDonald's loose grip straight into the warm embrace of James Potter.

Lily was still laughing because the warmth of the air kept her joyous. Her head was thrown back as James Potter waltzed them closer to the blazing fire. He was singing obnoxiously along to the song playing on the radio. Lily didn't recognize it but James seemed to love the rock beat. Once in James' arms Lily was lost in his smile. It was always so lopsided and goofy, even as he twirled her so that her skirts rose up around her knees. When she was done spinning she let her hands fall flat against his chest as she flashed him a satisfied smile.

"That was fun!" she told him eagerly, "Spin me again!"

"Did you mean it in your letter last month when you said you were happy that I got Head Boy?" he shouted over the music and cracking fire.

Lily stopped swaying with the music to glower at James, ruining her mood. Even after six years of knowing each other, he still doubted himself, despite the air of confidence he normally radiated. Under her stare he became self-conscious and one of his tan hands reached for his dark hair to ruffle the strands worriedly. Lily dug her fingernails into his shoulders to drag him into a hug. He smelled like the bonfire smoke and when he hugged her back she could feel his awkward laugh vibrate against her chest.

"Of course!" Lily said into his ear, knowing full well how hard James had worked to get the leadership position at school.

When she pulled away from her hug James looked at her kindly, "I wanted to tell you thank you." He said loudly over the music, "I couldn't have done it without your help!"

Lily shook her head briefly, making her red hair slap against her cheeks, "James!" she chastised him, " _You_ filled out the applications, and _you_ went through the interview with the board. You did this all on your own."

Lily had given him tips; after all she'd been through the process to get Head Girl right alongside his application for Head Boy. Even still Lily knew James despised feeling like he didn't deserve something so she had to butter up his normally satiated ego. James, who thrived off compliments, tucked a strand of her red hair behind her ear. Lily was indistinctly aware of the dancing happening around them but none of it mattered when his hazel eyes twinkled as he drew her in.

He kissed her easy and lightly at first, pressing his lips against hers like it was his first kiss and they were in grade school. Lily, buzzed with firewhisky and joy, kissed him back fervently without query. She didn't know what was hotter on her back, the flickering flames of the bonfire or James' searing hands in her skin. They were just friends but she was kissing him deeply and effortlessly, like he was more than just the esteemed boy from school. James exhaled as he pulled away from her.

He was dazed and she was elated.

"Go out with me?" he breathed the words like he'd been holding them in for quite some time.

Lily winked as she twirled from his embrace, "Nope."

James caught the ends of her hair, letting the red strands slip through his fingers, "Why not?"

Lily danced just out of reach, her skirts swinging about her calves as she rocked on her heels, "Why would we?"

James tilted his head in bewilderment, "You just kissed me?"

"Because we're having _fun_!"

Lily grabbed his hands before he could protest and twirled their bodies together in a circle, throwing her head back again. The night sky glittered with a million stars. The fire crackled merrily behind them. His hands were warm in hers.

There was nothing Lily Evans wanted or needed in that moment.

Lily was blissful and James was staring at her like she stared at the stars.

The world seemed so large and the opportunities seemed endless. Why, at seventeen years old, would Lily ever settle in with a boy when she had the world at her fingertips?

Then her feelings of fulfillment were shot by cold seeping through her bones despite the hot fire behind her. James' arms went rigid from the change in the air, almost like the cold was freezing his muscles one by one. They both sent each other sober looks just as someone on the outer edges of the fire screamed and someone else shot a red spell into the air, lighting up three dark figures in black cloaks.

They couldn't be human, as they were floating off the ground. Lily had never seen anything like them before and she stepped one foot closer only to feel the crippling cold sweep over her again. The air seemed still and desolate compared to what it had felt like before. One of the figures reached out a long calloused green hand and Lily clamped a hand over her mouth in horror.

"Dementors!"

It seemed like there was a split second in time where Lily imagined the Dementors moved closer with the added shrieks but when she blinked again they were still on the outskirts of the firelight. James let go of her hands simply so he could bring out his wand. Everyone else had their own wands out and the MacMillan twins shouted for everyone to dissaperate. The Dementors waited like wolves in the shadows, as if hoping one of the young witches would stumble forward or a wizard would bravely attack.

The students pulled each other towards the flames until Lily felt the flames licking into her back. People were dissaperating into thin air and others were screaming for their friends. James took one look at Lily regretfully before bounding through the crowd, shouting for his friend named Sirius. Lily spotted Mary's long brown braid beside Marlene's dirty blonde curls and shouted at them both.

The Dementors got closer and Lily suddenly felt like she'd never be happy again. Tears broke her eyes as Mary and Marlene raced to her side. Mary was sobbing on Marlene's resilient arm. Marlene simply looked like someone had just told her that her dog died. Lily reached out to wipe away Mary's tears, poor Mary, who hadn't even wanted to come to the bonfire. Lily and Marlene had begged her.

"We've got to go." Marlene told Lily, "But there's still kids here who are underage and can't disapparate."

"Take Mary." Lily said to Marlene, "I'll make sure the younger kids get out."

"The Dementors won't be frightened of the fire forever." Marlene forewarned.

"Mary needs to go." Lily said and Marlene nodded and hugged Mary before disappearing.

Lily took a deep breath and turned as the cold air seeped into her lungs. There were about ten people left on the beach. The Dementors had crept closer and Lily saw they were slowly reaching for the remaining party. Lily wondered why they were even here, when they were meant to be at Azkaban. She knew they were the creatures that guarded the wizarding prison—and now she knew why: they had crippling effects on the mind.

"What are you still doing here?" someone demanded roughly behind her, "Get out of here!"

Lily turned. James Potter was staring wildly down at her, Sirius Black at his side. They both had the arms of two younger kids who looked frightened beyond belief. Lily looked around and saw that now, they were the only ones left on the remote beach. James, as if irritated, shoved his crying kid at Sirius who disappeared as soon as both kids were in his clutches.

Lily scarcely was able to get out another word before James grabbed her hand. Suddenly the cold feeling in her bones was replaced by the feeling of being squeezed through a tube. James had dissaperated them. Lily held onto his hand like it was going to vanish.

They appeared in a field of long grasses directly behind a large house with wide windows that shone in moonlight. She didn't recognize the cloudy sky or the bright half moon. Even the air was no longer salty. Lily wobbled a bit on her feet and James grabbed her by her shoulders to steady her.

"Why didn't you leave?" he insisted, wiping her hair from her eyes, "You heard the twins, they told everyone to disapperate!"

Lily shook her head, "I wanted to see that everyone got off the beach."

James groaned and dropped her other hand, allowing her to put it on her face, which was sweaty. She stared at her feet, just breathing in and out. Warm summer air filtered through her lungs and she slowly started to feel more like herself. James kicked at a rock below his feet.

"I told Ernie he should've at least put up a few shield charms."

Lily swallowed and answered James, "How were the Macmillan's supposed to know that would happen?"

When she looked up at him she saw his face was unsympathetic, "There've been more and more Dementor sightings along the coast." He snapped, "Anyone who reads _The Daily Prophet_ would know."

"No one wants to read about that shite." Lily snapped back, sitting down to try and relieve her spinning head, "God, my head hurts."

James suddenly looked guilty and sat down in the long grass beside her. His knees knocked against hers and she opened one eye to stare at him. His hair was a mess atop his head and she thought his lips looked thinner than normal. She definitely knew her headache was a combination of all the events leading up to her being in a field with James. She groaned as she reached for her wand, tucked inside of her shirt.

"I'd wait to dissaperate home."

Lily opened both of her eyes, "Where _did_ you take me?"

James' voice relaxed and he joked, "The first place that popped into my head was my great grandmothers place so we're probably in Scotland somewhere."

Lily's mouth dropped open, "You took us all the way to _Scotland_?"

"Oops."

James was grinning senselessly enough that Lily had to laugh. Even if he had overshot London by a couple hundred kilos, she was still thankful for him. He leaned in and brushed her hair from her eyes again. She smiled at him, and pushed his hand away from her face lightheartedly.

"Hands to yourself, Potter." She teased.

James retracted his hand and used it to push his square frame glasses up his nose. She was appreciative that he'd grabbed her when he did. The dementors had not helped her think clearly. Not that he'd been helping her think any clearer before the Dementors. Lily's face faltered from playful to uncomfortable.

"About me kissing you…" she murmured senselessly.

James' echoing laugh filtered all the way down to her toes the moment he jumped up and offered her his hand.

"Come on," he told her, clearly eluding her words, "The sooner I get you home, the sooner I can make sure Sirius didn't splinch either of those fifth years we found huddling together."

Lily took his hand and her head only spun a little as she got to her feet. His hand was warm and his fingers danced against the inside of her palm as he waited for her to stop rocking on her feet.

"Dementors are pretty effective." Lily stammered.

"It's scary that they're leaving Azkaban and coming mainland." James said, "My mum says they must be breeding like rabbits thanks to all the fear in the air surrounding that new Dark Wizard who notions himself Grindlewald."

"I don't even feel that Firewhisky anymore." Lily added, "And I wish I did. Are dementors really _that_ draining?"

"They feed off despair and teenage hormones." James joked halfheartedly, attempting to clear the air.

Lily shivered at the talk and glared at James, "Let's focus on getting home and not what you read in the Daily Prophet, yeah?"

James nodded tersely as she reached for her wand and he reached for his. They were both trying so hard not to shout their feelings at each other, she was sure of it. Lily wanted to apologize for kissing him but it was like he didn't want to hear it. She hoped that her actions didn't ruin their friendship.

They stood staring at each other under the cloudy sky for a few moments before she admitted, "Thanks for making sure everyone got off the beach."

James ruffled his hair with his free hand, "Mind doing me a favor?"

"Report this to the Ministry?"

He shook his head, "Nah, they don't care. People have been telling them for weeks..."

Lily's fingers tangled in her skirts, "What favor then?"

"Write me when you get home." He asked thoughtfully and whatever ice remained in her from the Dementors appearance faded entirely, "so I can be sure you got home safe."

James could be so _charming_ sometimes.

"I would but I don't have an owl." Lily told him earnestly, "Sorry."

James frowned, "Oh." Then he perked up, "Mind if I take you home then?" when she didn't answer he added quietly, "Please, Lily?"

She softened and placed a hand on his arm, "I'll be fine James." At his less than convinced stare she continued, "Okay, fine, you can take me home if it'll make you feel better."

If she was being truthful, it made her feel better too. When he waved goodbye to her once she was leaning against her front door she caught his eye. His hazel eyes were blazing as he turned on the spot and disappeared from her line of vision.

James Potter was something special in her life and Lily just couldn't figure out why. So, she continued leaning against her front door for longer than she should have, wishing she was still high on life so that she could've remembered exactly why kissing him had seemed like such a good idea. She came up with nothing though and as she entered her parent's house she reasoned that either way, she was glad they were friends.

Lily's father was still up, "How was the party love?"

"Fine."

If her father noticed her blatant lie, he said nothing. The Evans' had long stopped trying to gather more information about the magical world from their magical inclined daughter. Lily just knew they wouldn't like all the danger she got into and they most certainly wouldn't understand her going to Wales and then to Scotland in the matter of a few hours. Her father would stress over Dementors and her mother would cry if Lily told her about the dark wizards. Petunia, Lily's sister, would never condone kissing someone like James. Lily's entire family would never understand how different Lily was after six years of magic flowing freely in her veins.

The more time Lily spent in her magical world, the less time Lily had for the world she was born into.

* * *

 **Next time:**

"Let me be clear." He huffed, "I'm here on a favor for Professor Dumbledore. In no way should you expect to learn _anything_ from me, understood?"

Lily's jaw dropped open and a row behind her James snorted quite loudly, deliberately making a scene.

"Got a problem boy?"

Professor Pidge didn't look at James when he spoke to him; his grey eyes were just suspiciously traveling back and forth across the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. If Lily were smart, she would've clamped a hand over James' mouth but he was too far away and as such, out of her reach. Beside Lily, Marlene looked tense but it was probably because Defense was her favorite class.

James grunted, "It's just one expects to _learn_ something when coming to _class_."

"Name?" Professor Pidge insisted, his grey eyes still swiveling so much that Lily had to look away.

"James Potter."

Professor Pidge sniffed, "Here is your first lesson of the day Mr. Potter… _disappointment_."


	2. Dog Days Are Over

Chapter 2

 _Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back_

 _Struck by someone who should know better than that_

September 2nd was always an early morning for all the students of Hogwarts. First years woke up with jitters in their stomachs over the first day of magic class. Second years were a bit excited, carrying their books and chattering excitedly. Third years walked around with a sense of purpose and fourth years looked frazzled as they tried to figure out their timetables. The fifth and sixth year students were somewhere between alarmed and weary while the seventh years walked into the Great Hall like robots.

Even after seven years, Lily always looked forward to the first day of classes because it meant she'd get to see all her old friends and professors again. Lily woke with a smile plastered on her face and she didn't imagine anything could make her unhappy. On the first day of classes it was hard for Lily to walk down the hallways without stopping to talk with someone she hadn't seen in three months.

Hogwarts was warm and welcoming when Lily and her girlfriends filed into the Great Hall. The enchanted ceiling reflected the outside sky and was covered in puffy white clouds. Floating candles lit the room magically in a kind orange glow and at the edge of the ceiling; the morning sun was poking through the clouds radiantly. Lily stared up at the ceiling like a first year would, completely in awe.

At her side Mary MacDonald agreed with a similar sigh, "It never gets old, does it?"

Lily shook her head, "Never."

"My grandmother has a better sunroom." Ingrid Nalik heard Mary and Lily's amazed sighs, "It's climate can be changed to that of anywhere in the world—not just to reflect outside."

"Not all of us grew up with magical grandparents." Lily reminded Ingrid, tearing her eyes from the ceiling.

"Come on losers," Marlene called from ahead, "You can stare at the ceiling while I eat breakfast."

Lily smiled happily around at all the welcoming faces as she walked with her friends to the Gryffindor table. Marlene McKinnon was talking to the other girls leading the group, her curly hair bouncing against her shoulders, freshly cut. Lily was about to follow Mary's lead and take a seat at the end of the table when someone waved to her from the middle of the table excitedly.

Lily perked up and waved back at a boy with sandy hair and brown eyes excitedly, "Hey Remus!" she called to him.

"Nice speech last night!" he shouted back, awarding Lily generous words for her control of the first Prefect meeting of the term the night before.

"Cheers!" she thanked Remus before falling into her seat.

It was with the hope for a rather excitable day that Lily chatted with her mates and ate her weight in porridge. Professor McGonagall handed Lily her new timetable with a welcome-back smile. Lily read her new schedule eagerly; pleased to see she'd gotten all the classes she'd wanted.

8-9am _Transfiguration_

9:45-11:30am _Defense Against the Dark Arts_

12-1pm **Lunch**

1:15-2pm _History of Magic_

2:15-3pm _Advanced Potions_

3:30-4:30pm _Charms Theory_

4:45-5:15pm **Free Class**

"Your free period is for Head Girl duties." Professor McGonagall said as she gave the other girls their timetables, "Mr. Potter's schedule will have the same time allotted."

"I haven't seen him yet this morning." Lily told Professor McGonagall, "but we'll get together and set aside that time together."

"Mr. Potter is tending to a Quidditch matter," Professor McGonagall told Lily with a stern nod, "He'll be a bit late."

Around Lily the other Gryffindor girls were reading magazines, painting fingernails, and gossiping over their meals. There were five of them in seventh year and they all shared a room together. Lily's was sitting in-between her two favorites named Mary and Marlene.

Mary was the quietest of the entire group and Lily enjoyed her company for her genuine sweetness. Even now, Mary's braid was falling over her shoulder as she read a magazine to herself over her eggs. Mary was a very simple looking girl with brown eyes and brown hair that was always tied in a braid. Mary hadn't always been so solitary, the year before had proved taxing for the muggleborn witch and she stayed in her shell ever since she was scorned in the bathroom by a git in Slytherin.

"How is James?" Another girl asked unreservedly on Lily's other side, her blue eyes sparkling dangerously, "Still fit?"

"Shove it Marlene." Lily shoved the bold girl away from her ear.

Marlene snickered and began sucking on a sugar quill she'd pulled from her bag. Marlene's Gryffindor robes were unbuttoned, showing off a skirt and blouse combo. Marlene held herself in a way that the boys (and even girls) of Hogwarts often turned to look when she walked by. Marlene had curly hair that was the color of sand and eyes as blue as the Caribbean. Lily wished she were as pretty as her friend.

"You're the one who said it." Marlene hummed as she checked over her new schedule.

"I told you I liked his hair _once_ and now you lord it over my head."

"Just don't want you to forget."

"Like I'll ever be able to _forget_..." Lily sang under her breath so only Marlene could hear.

"Lily." Marlene said her name super dramatically, "are you blushing?"

"Not." Lily snapped; reaching for the sugar quill Marlene held in her left hand, "is it hot in here? I'm starving."

"Or hot in here." Marlene knocked her fist lightly against Lily's forehead knowingly and Lily hissed at her friend with warning.

"Go snog a dementor, Marlene." Lily replied rather hastily, giving her discomfort away when she tossed the sugar quill at Marlene and it fell to the floor.

Marlene's blue eyes shone perceptively, "Yeah, okay Lily."

Another Gryffindor seventh year named Ingrid Nalik spoke up from across the table where she was reading _Witch Weekly_ , "There's an article in this magazine about potions for curly hair care—you should make some of the potions in here for us Lily, you're so good at them."

Lily smiled amusingly, "Thanks Ingrid."

Ingrid was a curly platinum blonde. She wore her favorite red lipstick every day and was the shortest girl in their dorm. What she lacked in height, she compromised with intelligence. Her eyes were brown, wide, and all seeing. If Lily ever needed to know anything about anyone in Hogwarts she went to Ingrid and her sidekick named Susan Nessus. Susan was a taller version of Ingrid with straight white hair. She was Lily's least favorite roommate because she had a poor attitude and complained a lot.

Susan had a sister named Petunia Nessus in Ravenclaw who also hung out with them. Lily wasn't a fan of her sister much either, but part of her wondered if it was because Petunia Nessus reminded Lily of her sister, Petunia Evans.

Susan waved her nail polish in the air, "Ingrid just wants her hair to be like mine."

"Straighter would look nicer on me, right?" Ingrid asked everyone around the table worriedly.

"You look fine Ingrid," Marlene told the short girl confidently, "Those curls are very Potter-esque."

Ingrid sniffed and played with her blonde hair as if she couldn't decide if Marlene had complimented her or not. Lily didn't have the heart to tell Ingrid that her curly blonde fro was nothing compared to James Potter's black birds nest he often wore smugly. Ingrid's curls looked like small ringlets while James' hair was made up of mismatched curls that formed into the nest on his head. Instead of comparing Ingrid to James, Lily simply shook her head at all the girls.

"I won't have time to make you girls your beauty potions this year," she warned them, "I've got a lot on my plate."

"How's Head Girl any more time consuming than Prefect?" Susan asked naïvely.

Marlene's eyes crinkled with laughter when she saw Lily's fists curl around her fork, "You're both being really insensitive to Lily's feelings right now." Marlene pretended to pet Lily's hair as Lily bit into her porridge, frustrated with her friends "Lily's really struggling with James Potter being her Head Boy."

"I'm fine." Lily said with her mouth full of porridge so it came out as, " _Um feene_."

"How did that happen anyways?" Mary protested with a flick of her long hair, "He's had more detentions than you could count on your fingers and toes."

Lily defended James, putting her fork down, "James was the perfect candidate for Head Boy."

"Until he gets detention for punching people in the face." Petunia snorted, flipping her long black braid over her shoulder.

Lily said cynically, "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it."

She knew that with James came the promise of trouble.

When they were kids he routinely got detentions for fighting with other students in the hallways. Most of the time it was James and his mates fighting the same few Slytherins. Gryffindor and Slytherin had a long history of animosity and James (whose entire family was Gryffindor born and raised) often picked fights with them. Sometimes though, the Slytherin's started it and James just fought for the sake of fighting. He'd grown up a bit though and he no longer hexed them in the hallway just to pick fights.

"How'd you manage a free period at the end of the day?" Mary protested when comparing her schedule to Lily's, "and how do we only have History and Transfiguration together?"

"Because you wanted to take Care of Magical Creatures and Muggle Studies." Lily answered back, yanking her schedule from Mary's grasp, "you said yourself it would be easy classes for you this year."

"Who am I going to talk too?" Mary confessed her fears quietly, staring down at her plate.

"I'm sure you'll manage." Marlene pulled at Mary's long brown braid again, "We have some classes together."

"Yeah and we _all_ have charms together." Lily amended to make Mary feel better, "We'll still have the same fun as the past seven years."

Lily grinned at her friend before looking up when she saw his hair out of the corner of her eye. James entered the Great Hall carrying his own timetable and ruffling his already messy hair. There was no look of mischief on his face, no look of trouble. His gaze was primarily focused on the paper in his hands and behind him; Roland Garland (his beater on the Gryffindor Quidditch team) strutted past looking mildly annoyed.

"James!" She called and he looked up from his schedule at her in surprise.

A smile broke through his stern features though when he made it to her spot at the end of the Gryffindor table. He was wearing his robes freshly pressed and had his Head Boy badged pinned to the front of his outfit. Lily resisted the urge to point out that his glasses were lopsided on his face—it was a part of his look. Lily waved her schedule in the air.

"I'll show you mine, if you show me yours."

James' eyebrows shot up into his hairline, "Pardon?"

Marlene rolled her eyes and nudged Lily with a wink at James' falter, "mind out of gutter, Potter, she's talking time tables."

"I knew that." James said snottily to Marlene as he held out his timetable.

Lily traded with James and smoothed his paper out on the table with curiosity. She was impressed the minute she saw the first two classes and the other girls leaned over her shoulder to read as well.

8-9am _Transfiguration_

9:45-11:30am _Defense Against the Dark Arts_

12-1pm **Lunch**

1:15-2pm _History of Magic_

2:15-3pm _Advanced Potions_

3:30-4:30pm _Advanced Arithmacy_

4:45-5:15pm **Free Period**

"Well then," Mary looked stunned as she read over Lily's shoulder, "not a light load this year."

James looked humiliated as he handed Lily her schedule back and got his own back into his pocket, "it's my last year."

"These are all Auror sanctioned classes." James' eyes met Lily's as she spoke with respect in her tone, "that's really impressive James."

"Yeah." He shrugged, "like I said, it's my last year, gotta go out with a bang."

The rest of James' crew apparently didn't appreciate how long it was taking James to get over to them. Sirius shouted for James to get his arse over to their seats before he charmed James' hair pink the rest of the day. James gave Lily and her friends a halfhearted wave before he stalked away to the head of the table where his mates were comparing schedules. Sirius slapped him in the back and immediately stole James' schedule from his pocket. Lily turned back to Mary, who had very wide eyes.

"What's that face for?" Lily asked Mary.

"You'll be spending a lot of time with him." Mary noted what Lily had not, "the only class you don't share with James is charms theory."

"We were in all the same classes last year." Lily replied easily, not sure where Mary was headed.

Mary sent Lily a pointed look; "we were _all_ in the same classes last year."

"Mary it's fine." Lily told her friend, "We're fine."

"He really likes you Lily." Mary said with a frown, "being with him so much—"

"It's fine." Lily repeated, albeit more firmly, causing Mary to drop her comment.

Lily bent forward to work on eating her breakfast. Mary clicked her tongue disapprovingly at Lily's avoidance.

Once or twice Lily glanced down the table at James.

She didn't mind that it looked as if she and James would be spending a lot of time together. Lily liked spending time with James. They always had a laugh or two. He was the only person in all of Gryffindor who liked going to walks outside with her. He also happened to be extraordinarily pleasant, something Lily hadn't managed to persuade Mary of.

Lily and the rest of the seventh years got up and started making their way for the Transfiguration classroom. Most of the younger students had already made it to their classrooms, not wanting to be late. The seventh years were beyond caring about being early as long as they weren't late. Professor McGonagall was not one to cross (or make cross) with tardiness. She often shut and locked her classroom door after bells, keeping late students out from the lesson.

Lily's other classmates were talking about their summer vacations. Almost everyone was listening into Ravenclaw's Mike Chang as he gave an overly dramatic description of his vacation to Australia where he supposedly drank with a vampire. Ahead of Lily a few steps, James and his friends had their heads bent in deep conversation, all of them uninterested in the other students as per usual.

Lily purposely sped up her step until she could squeeze in between Sirius and Remus. If anyone of her friends noticed her detachment from the vampire conversation, they said nothing. Marlene was also busy debating with Ingrid about the probability of a vampire at Hogwarts. Lily thought Mary might've seen her slip ahead.

"Morning?" She half sang and earned anxious looks from everyone but James.

"Lo' Evans." Sirius replied as he sucked on a sugar quill and eyed the back of James' head peculiarly.

"Can you believe Mike Chang's story?" she asked James who looked down at her with a smile.

"We've met half a dozen vampires before." James said haughtily, "It's nothing impressive."

"Where did you meet vampires?" Peter, the shortest of James' friends, asked in horror, " _I_ certainly wasn't there."

"Isn't your mum a vampire Peter?" Sirius laughed when Peter punched him in the arm and apologized, "Sorry, sorry, no I forgot, _my_ mum's the vampire."

"More like a troll." James said, earning a blazing grin and high five from Sirius.

"James! James Potter!"

A small voice called for James to come to a halt. James did so and Lily almost ran right into him. Sirius grabbed ahold of her cloak and dragged her back so she wouldn't step on the backs of James' feet. Remus let out a sharp exhale of breath and Lily was quite aware of James hissing just loud enough for her to hear.

Lily turned on her heel and her smile turned into more of a forced grin. The boy they were all staring at blinked hungrily and waved at them each in turn. He had his robes freshly pressed and his hair neatly combed over his blue eyes. Eric Tiz, the fifth year Gryffindor who practically hero-worshiped James and Remus (and Peter _and_ Sirius for that matter) was wearing a bright and shiny Prefect's badge.

"Tiz." James smiled weakly.

"Who gave that kid prefect?" Lily heard Peter mumble to Sirius under his breath.

Sirius pretended to cut himself across the throat and Lily was forced to bite her tongue so as to not laugh at the boys. She knew that Eric Tiz thought the boys were the coolest thing since sliced bread. It was absolutely adorable the way Tizzie followed them around, but the boys didn't seem to like the attention.

"James!" Eric was thrilled at finding the seventh years so early in the morning, "Remus! How were your summers?"

"Great Tizzie." Remus mumbled, shooting a sidelong glance at James for help.

Tiz puffed out his chest proudly, "Listen mates, I got a job at zonkos over the summer and I can get you a discount—want to go to Hogsmede sometime?"

James' fingers went to his temples, "Probably won't have time between Head Boy and Quidditch practice, Tizzie."

James' decline only sent Eric into a new swing of hysterics, "I clapped so loudly when Dumbledore announced your position last night, James."

Sirius snorted and leaned closer to James to pinch the blushing boy wickedly, "Hear that? He clapped _so_ loud."

"Stuff it Sirius." James mumbled to his best friend before turning back to Eric's beaming face, "Maybe some other time Tiz."

Tiz didn't look unhappy; instead he shrugged and smiled even more, "What about you, Sirius? Peter?"

"Peter would love to go with you." Sirius encouraged swiftly as Peter dropped his mouth open to share his disdain for Sirius without actually saying anything.

Lily stepped in between the boys and spoke to Tiz with sympathy, "Eric congratulations on becoming Prefect, James and I are happy to have you on the team."

"Thanks Evans." Eric Tiz was the only other person in the _world_ besides Sirius and James who called her Evans endearingly—a trait Tizzie had copied off James in particular.

"Our first meeting last night didn't intimidate you?" Lily asked Tiz as Peter pinched James and James yelped noisily.

Eric Tiz had the enthusiasm of a Labrador retriever, "I'm so excited to have rounds." He told her, "I've been telling my mates all summer how much fun it'll be to dock off Slytherin points."

"Just remember that James and I are the only ones who can give out the detentions." Lily said to the small fifth year, "You and the other Prefects are supposed to call us if anything ever goes wrong."

"Thanks Lily." Tizzie puffed out his chest self-importantly and reminded Lily of a younger James Potter, "I know that under you and James, this will be the best year yet."

He waved as he walked in the opposite direction of them down the hallway; winking at her and trying a signature James Potter hair flip, only failing miserably. Lily struggled to hold back at laugh as she and the boys made their way down the hallway. James sighed and Sirius snickered at James' discomfort with his own personal mini-me.

"God he's annoying." James complained.

"That's rich coming from you." Lily snorted, "He's an exact replica of you at fifteen."

"I would've never have been a prefect." James looked aghast at her suggestion.

"You're right." Lily said wittily, "I like Tizzie way more than I liked you at fifteen."

James' frowns in her direction made Sirius bark another laugh of amusement. Lily shared a low five with Sirius when James looked away to complain to Remus.

"There are twenty six Prefects this year." Remus told James, "You'll have to learn all their names."

James protested, "Do I have too?"

"But you'll be fine," Lily told James, "Remus and I won't let you screw up."

"I hope you fuck up so bad they _have_ to fire you." Sirius said earnestly with a short and bitter laugh.

"Gee, thanks Sirius." James said stupidly and Sirius grinned his welcome.

The sound of a group of girls reached her ears. They'd caught back up with the other seventh years. Lily's friends were all shouting over each other as they discussed some member of some wizard rock band as they got to the classroom. Mary was the only one not yelling because her brown eyes had spotted Lily. Mary elbowed Marlene and said something that caused the curly blonde to turn.

"Let's go, Lily!" Marlene had spotted Lily amongst the boys, "You're sitting next to me!"

"Sounds crazy over there." Remus nodded at Lily's friends.

"Care to join?" Lily wagged her eyebrows at virtuously girl-shy Remus, "A few of the ladies wouldn't mind talking to you."

"I'll leave the swooning to the other boys." Remus answered back with a grin, his smile reflecting the number of scars framed on his face.

Lily crossed her arm at the introverted boy, "You're as good-looking as those three idiots," she told him.

"Bless," Sirius placed a hand on his heart as he looked at Peter and James, "She thinks you two loners are as good looking as me."

"You're the bottom of the list Black." Lily told Sirius who flipped her the bird in reply.

"Don't get too attached." Peter warned Lily, "I'm attached to Hailey Sheehan."

"Don't think Evans kinds you attractive Peter." Sirius said with a wink, "She prefers her men antlered."

Whatever Sirius said made James roundhouse kick Sirius and start a mini brawl in the hallway. Lily and Remus rolled their eyes at each other while James threatened to dismember Sirius.

"So out of the four of you I'd have to pick from dumb and dumber?" she said smoothly to Remus.

"You'd only get dumb." Remus spouted coyly, "Dumber swore off women this summer..."

"Questionable." Sirius coughed to Peter when James let go to stare at Remus and Lily in confusion.

"Whose dumb and whose dumber?" James was panting from wrestling Sirius.

Remus licked his lips before replying, "Figure that out yourselves."

Lily and Remus high fived each other as James scowled around at the small group of seventh years. Sirius whacked James gently.

"Hate to tell you mate, but you're definitely dumber."

"I'm Head Boy _and_ Quidditch captain." James said pompously, puffing out his chest proudly.

"Are we supposed to bow?" Sirius asked, staring at his fingernails idly.

"Head Boy was a shock to us all." Peter sighed, as if disappointed.

"He applied for it, how's it a shock?" Lily asked as she readjusted the book bag on her shoulders.

Peter's teeth showed when he grinned, "Because he's not exactly rule-abiding."

"You don't have to follow _all_ the rules." James told Peter.

Remus admitted to Lily, "Sirius figured we can get away with more if James became Head Boy so he's not as impartial to it as he makes it seem."

James noted Lily's less than tickled expression at Remus' confession and he added quickly with rosy cheeks, "You know I applied because I just wanted to make my parents proud."

Lily smiled deeply at James, taking in the blush on his cheeks that showed her how truthful he was. James often turned red when he was telling the truth, good or bad. For a boy who got away with so many pranks in his life, he was a horrible liar, at least around her. Lily raised her eyebrows at James and winked at him. Encouraged by her contemplation, James shuffled his feet and ruffled his hair beaming in direction.

It was _sickening_ how fast she could go from seeing him as a colossal oaf to a handsome charmer.

"I'm going to barf." Sirius muttered to Peter and snapping Lily from her daydream, "And I haven't gotten through our first day back yet."

As they entered the classroom filled to the brim with seats that stretched all the way to the back, Lily's hand brushed against James' and when she looked over at him, his hazel eyes were smoldering. Lily decided quickly to definitely sit with Mary and Marlene. Professor McGonagall was standing at the front of the classroom talking loudly to some of the students as they all found their respected seats.

"Welcome back," she called dutifully, "McLaggen put that away this is a classroom not a tavern!"

Shaun McLaggen shamefully put away his _Witch Wonder_ magazine as his surrounding friends laughed. Lily slid along the rows of seats, finding her seat that was next to Mary at the end of one of the two rows. Ingrid Nalik and Susan Nessus were already seated in front of them and staring at Sirius Black as he wrestled James for the seat in the isle—both Ingrid and Susan had unrequited crush-type feelings for James' best friend.

"He hasn't shown them the time of day for seven years." Marlene snorted from Mary's other side after she spotted Ingrid and Alicia, "Why would he start this year?"

"Sh," Lily was smiling because Marlene was right, "Don't be mean."

Marlene scoffed, "It's not mean if it's true."

Lily and Mary shared secret smiles as they both pulled out their parchment for class.

"Everyone settle down!" Professor McGonagall called for their attention, "Settle. Down."

The rest of the classroom became the sounds of ruffling papers and quills. Everyone had already mentally prepared for the first lesson of the year. Professor McGonagall did not mess around, not even on the first day of classes. Lily was listening to Professor McGonagall when a note was slid onto her desk discreetly from the side. Lily turned halfway in disbelief at the note passer and saw it was James Potter grinning from the row of desks to her left.

"What are you doing?" she mouthed.

"Note passing." He mimed back.

With a frown she turned and opened the note, being careful to do so under the desk so that Professor McGonagall wouldn't see. James' handwriting was sloppy and not all together readable but Lily succeeded slowly.

 _I saw you're taking Advanced Potions._

 _You wouldn't happen to already have a potions partner, would you?_

Almost second late another note joined the first in her lap.

 _And I'll understand if you do, I mean, you're top of the year so I'd imagine everyone's already asked you and I'm late to the party._

A third note joined the other two.

 _You read slowly._

Lily turned her cheek, shooting him a disdainful look over her shoulder before using her quill and the back of one of the ripped pieces of parchment to write her reply.

 ** _Yes._**

Her word was curly and expressive but it still didn't do the trick for James who almost immediately shot another piece of parchment at her so fast it hit her in the ear.

 _Yes, you read slowly?_

 _Or_

 _Yes, you'll be my partner?_

And five seconds after she'd read the note.

 _Sorry, not sorry, I hit you with that last one._

Lily laughed under her breath earning the attention of Mary who glanced her way in bewilderment. When Mary saw the pieces of parchment in Lily's lap her eyebrows shot up into her brown hair. Lily grabbed her quill and wrote in small letters on the edge of the ripped parchment.

 ** _For such a quidditch star you'd think your aim would be a bit better._**

 ** _Yes, I can be your partner._**

 ** _Now stop writing me notes before McGonagall catches us._**

Mary nudged Lily under the table and indicated to Professor McGonagall.

"Careful." Mary mouthed.

Lily glanced at Professor McGonagall before tossing the parchment back at the boy she knew was leaning on the edge of his seat. Lily smirked triumphantly at Mary before returning to her notes and listening to Professor McGonagall lecture. Suddenly, something small hit Lily squarely on her forehead. Lily's hand hand shot up to her forehead as she looked around in surprise. Professor McGonagall noted Lily's sudden movements and observed the Head Girl over her glasses.

"Is something wrong, Ms. Evans?"

All eyes in the classroom turned to look at Lily and she flushed. "Nothing."

Professor McGonagall looked unconvinced but nonetheless, returned to her lesson. Lily sank lower in her seat but not before spotting a ball of wadded up paper at her feet. She shot a glance around and James winked at Lily as she sank lower in her seat. At the end of class Lily lunged for the parchment and opened it up greedily. As she read James' last note her lips curved into a stupid smile reserved just for him.

 _My aim is perfect._

She turned only to see James and his friends had already made it to the classroom door. Mary kicked lightly at Lily's arm, forcing Lily to stand up from under her small desk and grab her things quickly.

Mary grabbed her arm and insisted, "He could've gotten you both in so much trouble."

Lily pulled her arm from Mary's tight grip so she could adjust her robes, "Mary good lord, it's not like we've never passed notes before."

Lily licked her lips as she pulled out her timetable to see her next class, blatantly ignoring Mary's tone. Mary waited until Lily was done avoiding her eyes and then stopped them in the middle of the crowded hallway. Marlene protested, almost running right into Lily's shoulder. Mary's expression was hard to read, even though Lily prided herself in knowing whatever was going to come from Mary's mouth.

"I was reading his notes over your shoulder."

"Whose notes?" Marlene asked nosily, eyebrows quirked.

"Of course you were." Lily ignored Marlene and stared at Mary.

Mary ignored Lily's ill tone, "Lily, I don't think you should be James' partner in potions."

"James sent you notes!" Marlene looked elated at this information.

Lily pursed her lips at Mary, "Why?"

Mary's brown eyes were solemn, "You _saw_ his course load this term. What if James tries using you to improve his grades? Just like he said, you're top of the class in potions and everyone knows it."

Lily's eyes flashed, humor gone, "Mary, the only other person in that class I know is Severus Snape and you know very well that I would rather die than be partners with that—that—"

"Dick?" Marlene offered, always loving a good Snape bashing, "Git? Bigot?"

"I know." Mary cut Marlene off, not allowing her the chance to articulate on Severus Snape, "I just don't want you getting hurt, Lily."

"James Potter isn't as shitty as he used to be." Lily exhaled with aggravation; "I've dealt with him for the past six years—what's one more as my Potions partner?"

Mary shrugged uncomfortably, "You know him better than I do but I remember a time when you couldn't stand him."

Lily blushed and cut Mary off importantly, "I won't let him take advantage of my potions skills."

Mary blushed, "I'm not just talking about your potions skills."

Lily added firmly, "I wouldn't even _consider_..."

"Shagging him?" Marlene offered, again trying to finish Lily's sentences for her.

Lily crossed her arms deliberately, "I hate you."

"You do not." Mary complained as the girls continued on to their respected classrooms.

"She's just sour you brought up what happened at the MacMillan twins bonfire." Marlene assured Mary.

Lily snorted and wrapped her hand in Mary's, "Nothing happened." Lily deceived, "I told you both, we danced and he took me home after the Dementors showed up." Lily raised her hand when Mary tried to speak again, "Professor Slughorn let James into Advanced Potions, Mary. That means he must be at least decent. If I even get a hint that James wants to be my partner so he can slack off you know as well as I that James'll end up on the wrong end of my wand by the end of the class. Better?"

Mary grumbled but allowed Lily to tug on her messy braid once before disconnecting their arms. Despite Mary's worries, Lily knew that her friends simply wanted the best for Lily. They'd known each other for seven years; it was natural for them to be worried about each other.

"What do you have next?" Mary inquired, "I'm muggle studies."

"I told you to take Divination instead." Marlene said pulling a sugar quill from her bag to suck on out of habit,

"We've got Defense Against the Dark Arts." Lily told a scowling Mary.

Marlene licked her candy before saying, "Here's to hoping whatever new Professor we get is better than old Perrywinkle last year."

Mary hitched her bag up higher on her shoulder, "That's why I dropped the stupid class, I couldn't hear Perrywinkle talk anymore about her fifty cats."

"Perrywinkle was no where near as bag as Mr. Bones in fifth year." Marlene argued, "Merlin, that man could go on and on about nothing for _ages_."

"I can't believe you dropped." Lily said as the girls stood in the middle of the bustling corridor they'd have to split up in, "We need to learn to defend ourselves against the dark arts, especially after this summer."

Mary shook her head sharply; "I'll leave the Defense Against the Dark Arts to you two." Mary smiled dejectedly and they hugged each other before Mary pulled back and waved at Lily and Marlene, "See you in History of Magic."

Marlene and Lily barely made it five feet into the Defense Against Dark Arts corridor before James Potter appeared in front of them, smiling arrogantly as he leaned up against the wall closest to Lily. Lily stopped in her tracks and Marlene continued sucking on her sugar quill with interest. Mary's blue eyes flashed back and forth between the Head Boy and Girl. Lily realized James was alone and instantly warning signs went off in her head.

They hadn't spoken alone since he accidently apparated them to Scotland.

"Can we talk about Head Boy stuff?" James asked.

"I'm out." Marlene said (un)helpfully, giving Lily a salute before heading down the hallway.

Once Marlene's footsteps disappeared around the corner, James stepped closer to Lily. She looked around the hallway but wasn't rewarded with his mates appearing. When he took another step forward she took one step back.

The Head Boy used his pointer finger to push his glasses up the bridge of his nose, "Did you tell your mates?"

"About what?" Lily asked, twisting her fingers in her hair as she stared at him.

"About kissing me."

Lily sighed deeply, " _You_ kissed _me_."

"You enjoyed it." The Cheshire cat smile he gave Lily made her knees weak.

"Did you tell Sirius?" Lily shot back an equally important question.

"Did you want me too?" he countered back, as slick with his words as she was.

"Of course not." Lily blanched, leaning against the wall next to him and crossing her arms again, "He warned me we couldn't date."

James chuckled, "He's the jealous type."

Lily smiled then admitted to James, "Mary just spent half the morning warning me not to let you take advantage of me."

James smirked, "Well that ironic, since Peter spent half of last night telling me the same thing."

"How would I take advantage of you..." was Lily's bitter reply.

James raised his eyebrows at her, "According to Peter I'm predisposed to let you treat me like shite."

"That's rich coming from pretentious Peter." Lily said scathingly, "but I suppose since he does dislike me…"

"He doesn't dislike you." James rolled his eyes, "Peter just hates change."

"That's something we both agree on." Then Lily turned her cheek to grin at him, "Mary's not much better though, and she thinks you want to be my partner to get good marks in class."

James snorted, "No offense Evans, but I don't need help in Potions. I just want a partner who won't make me hate my life."

The clicking of shoes distracted James and Lily form their serious conversation. Lily turned and James peered over her shoulder. An elderly old man was headed in the direction of the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. He wore a dark traveling cloak, giving off the impression that he must be cold and his hair was arranged in a fashion of perfection. Lily had a hunch this old man could be the new Professor, despite not seeing him at the feast the night before.

The old man walked right past Lily and James in the hallway, not even glancing their way. James and Lily shot each other odd looks. It was unlike a Professor to not say hello to two students, especially the Head Boy and Head Girl. Lily tucked her hair behind her ear and decided to say something, at least make the old man feel welcome. In the more recent years most students said the position as cursed—Hogwarts couldn't keep a Defense Professor past the term.

"Excuse me?" she spoke up and the man didn't turn so she raised her voice, "Excuse me, Professor?"

The second time was loud enough and the old man came to a hunched stop, "Yes?"

Lily walked forward, placing a smile on her face and feeling James follow closely behind. The man stayed turned away from them so Lily walked around the man.

"My name is Lily Evans," she stuck out her hand and the man didn't move, just stared blankly at the wall next to her shoulders, "I'm the Head Girl. Are you our new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor?"

He grunted a reply and then resumed walking in a forward direction, swinging his cane out. Taken aback, Lily just stood there gawking. Someone put a hand on her back alerting her of his or her close presence. She turned to see James standing behind her and his friends had joined their previously empty corridor. It was James who pulled his hand away from her back as the other boys stared after the strange man.

"Whose the old man?" Sirius hissed Lily's thoughts.

Remus muttered to them, "Dad knows him from work, name is Peter Pidge, he's our new Defense Professor."

"Nice name." Peter grinned, obviously pleased to share a name with their new Professor.

"Do we like him?" Sirius asked Remus.

The old man huffed from fifty paces away, "Are you kids going to stand there gossiping or get to class?"

Sirius hissed very low so that only Lily and James caught it, "Doesn't matter, it seems like he doesn't like us."

Lily exchanged a worried glance with James as they rushed forward to get to class before the bell rang. The classroom was noisy but as soon as Professor Pidge entered silence cut through the air like a knife. Professor Pidge walked right into the teacher's desk, his old knees knocking into the wood as he placed his briefcase and a ragged old cane on the desk. Where most Professors decorated the classroom with various artifacts, the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom was unembellished save for student desks.

Lily followed the boys to the only seats left in the class, the ones right up front. Lily swapped a look with Marlene, who was seated three rows away. Marlene was just as nosy as Lily about their new Professor. Lily settled into a chair in between James and Remus, staring at their new Professor with skeptical curiosity. Suddenly, the Professor turned and looked at the class, his grey eyes focused on not a single student.

"Let me be clear." He huffed, "I'm here on a favor for Professor Dumbledore. In no way should you expect to learn _anything_ from me, understood?"

Lily's jaw dropped open and a row behind her James snorted quite loudly, deliberately making a scene.

"Got a problem boy?"

Professor Pidge didn't look at James when he spoke to him; his grey eyes were just suspiciously traveling back and forth across the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. If Lily were smart, she would've clamped a hand over James' mouth but he was too far away and as such, out of her reach.

James grunted, "It's just one expects to _learn_ something when coming to _class_."

"Name?" Professor Pidge insisted, his grey eyes still swiveling so much that Lily had to look away.

"James Potter."

Professor Pidge sniffed, "Here is your first lesson of the day Mr. Potter… _disappointment_."

The students uneasily glanced at each other and it was during this exchange (that caused no reaction from Pidge) that Lily realized Pidge's eye problem. Professor Pidge was _blind_ , blinder than a bat. Lily dug into her bag and grabbed a scrap of notepaper from Transfiguration. She wrote down her discovery and didn't even both to hide the fact she was passing notes. She passed the note over to James, who then passed it across to Sirius with a grim face. Lily turned into her seat and tried to mime her discovery to Marlene, but her friend was too busy whispering with Ingrid. Both Gryffindor's had a matching look of despair in their blue eyes. Lily turned back around to face their new Professor.

"You kids can start by pulling out your books and reading whatever you want as long as you be quiet." Professor Pidge sat down by feeling for the chair and sniffed deeply as he heard the students ruffle for their books.

Lily looked to her left to see James and Sirius passing notes quickly back and forth. She went to pull out her own copy of _Defense: The Seventh Year_ before hastily flicking her thumb through the pages restlessly. It seemed everyone was too afraid to say a word so the only sound that filled the classroom was the quiet sound of students not learning. Lily's fingers clicked along the edges of her desk and she stared angrily up at their new Professor.

By the time the bell rang Lily was wondering how Headmaster Dumbledore could've possibly asked this man to teach, when he clearly had no passion to do so. All the students exited the classroom and gathered together at the end of the hall. Maria Merryweather, whose favorite class was Defense, looked close to tears. Lily stood beside James and Sirius, holding her book bag in one hand so her other hand could be placed on Maria's shoulder.

"Maria don't cry." Lily told the Hufflepuff kindly, "We've had bad Defense Professors before—"

"He doesn't w-want to teach us anything?" Maria replied, extremely upset.

Sirius looked as mad as Lily felt, "There's a war going on outside of these walls and he wants us to read a fucking _book_?"

Lily furrowed her brow and agreed with Sirius. They were about to enter a world being torn at the seams because of dark magic. The threat of dark wizards only increased year-after-year. How could their Defense Against the Dark Arts not teach them how to defend themselves against dark magic? That was the whole point of the class.

Tommy Coons from Ravenclaw spoke up, "Potter and Evans should speak to him."

Lily and James' heads shot up from consoling Maria in unison.

"Pardon?"

Maria nodded, her earrings twinkling as she bounced her head up and down in agreement, "Yes! Potter and Evans!"

"Evans and I are just Head Boy and Girl." James stated with a side-glance at Lily for support.

"Exactly," Tommy Coons replied amiably, "You two represent the student body, and we need someone to tell old pickle-fart in there that we want a real teacher."

Maria turned her face to stare at Lily, "Please, Lily?"

"If anyone can charm a Professor it's you Lily." Marlene spoke up, disregarding Lily hesitant look that she shared with James.

Tommy Coons all but called the battle his own, "That settles it then, Potter and Evans will take care of this."

The students started dispersing with Maria and Tommy leading the brigade of seventh years. Lily was left standing in the middle of the hallway, dumbfounded, with Marlene, James, Sirius, and Peter at her side. Remus stood a little to the left of everyone, leaning against the stonewalls like he needed their support. Sirius looked like Christmas had come early.

He clapped James on the back laughing like a loon, "Welp Prongs," Sirius spoke to James, "Good luck. Head Boy and all, this should be a piece of cake."

" _Thanks_." James mumbled gloomily to Sirius who only continued laughing as he, Remus, and Peter followed the other students down the corridor.

Marlene, sensing Lily wanted to talk with James alone again, pulled a sugar quill from her bag and told Lily stealthily, "See you at lunch."

James watched Marlene go before putting his hands in his pockets and turning to face Lily. Lily shook her head the minute James' eyes snapped to hers with an all-too-familiar smirk. It lifted the left corner of his mouth so that his glasses were lopsided and his face looked mischievous.

"Oh no—" she cautioned James, "You are _not_ allowed to prank our Professor."

James raised his eyebrows, pretending to be aghast, "I wasn't going to suggest anything of the sort," he had a wicked gleam in his eyes that she didn't trust, "I actually was just wondering what would constitute a reason for my Head Boy status to be taken away?"

Lily crossed her arms and glowered heavily at him, "Probably whatever you're considering doing breaks at _least_ ten different school rules."

"I'd be careful." James countered back.

"Knowing your talent for trouble James, you'd have this wholse school in flames by tomorrow." Lily rolled her eyes when he bowed mockingly, "You couldn't get caught doing whatever you want to do or Dumbledore would probably take your badge." She uncrossed her arms but her suspicious glare stayed put, "What _do_ you want to do?"

James clucked his tongue and shook his finger at her playfully, "I will not allow the Head Girl to accompany me in my amusements of Head Boy dishonor."

"Head Boy dishonor my arse, James." Lily didn't like that he only smiled wider, "Treat yourself with some respect and realize that whatever your planning is probably not the best way to get Professor Pidge to teach us how to defend ourselves from the dark arts."

James ruffled his hair, looking a bit put off by her, "So you want to actually try and talk to the old codger?"

James looked as if that was the last thing he wanted to do and Lily had to agree with him. Professor Pidge clearly had no patience for kids and no tolerance for even a Head Girl wishing to introduce herself. Lily bit her lip just as the classroom door banged behind them. Lily and James jumped then watched as Professor Pidge used his cane to walk back down the hallways to his office. He was hunched over his cane and looked even older than he did when Lily first spotted him.

"I'll speak to Dumbledore." James suddenly said from her side.

"I just don't want you to get expelled, Potter." Lily glanced back and up at him.

James put a hand on his heart, "It's good to know you care Evans." Before she could muster up a continued argument he started walking away while casually waving to her to follow him, "Now come on before we're both late for lunch, I don't fancy missing out on the rye pudding today."

Lily had to run to catch up to him, his legs were so damn long he was already halfway down the corridor by the time she caught his arm with her hand. James spun and she looked up at him with as much of a glare as she could muster. James' hazel eyes shone as he looked down at her, knocking his shoulder against hers affectionately.

"It's fine Evans," he said ingenuously, "Coons wants someone to speak to Professor Pidge and I'll handle it."

"James please be respectful." Lily finally begged, "I don't fancy having to watch Dumbledore take your badge and hand it over to Avery in Slytherin."

James exhaled, "I promise I won't do anything _that_ drastic."

"Are you planning on talking to Professor Pidge?" Lily asked coyly, "Or frighten at him?"

"Are both options?" he quipped.

"Of course." Lily snorted and he laughed before tossing am arm around her shoulder casually.

"Don't worry," he claimed, "I'll be the most respectful Head Boy that ever lived."

"Questionable."

James used his other hand to muss up her fringe in response to that and she complained the rest of the lunch about how annoying he was for messing up her perfectly combed hair. James only took her complaints as an excuse to crazily mess up her red hair more, making it so her soft curls fell around her face. She called him a git as she moved the hair from her face and James only laughed, taking every word from her mouth as words of flattery.

* * *

 **Next time:**

"You like yelling." He observed, "You do it quite frequently."

"I do not!"

Her voice had raised a few octaves higher and James grinned a pretentious smirk. Lily frowned and elbowed him in the ribs, only to make his grin grow wider. Lily tried hard to not smile back at him.

She repeated in a softer tone, "I do not."

"It's fine, I normally deserve it." James replied considerately.

* * *

 **Thanks everyone for your kind notes here and on tumblr! I'm super excited to write canon again! I missed writing about Hogwarts! This will be multiple chapters as my outline has me going to around twelve chapters. The next update for _Soulmates_ will be next Wednesday but lookout for my April Jily Challenge called _Campfire_ before then!**

 **xxx**

 **Petals**


	3. Wild Card

**Chapter 3**

 _He's never gonna wear a halo_

 _Cause you know he likes to play these games_

Defense Against the Dark Arts quickly became the bane of Lily's existence.

Each class grew steadily worse and Tommy Coons was up her arse about fixing it. It had gotten annoying enough that Lily actually sought out James on Sunday night after the first week. He was down on the Quidditch Pitch, helping his second string of flyers perfect their hawk dives. Lily spotted him easily amongst the players clad in Gryffindor maroon and gold. He was the oldest and tallest, stressing the importance of balance on a broomstick. Lily waited for him to be done practice by the side of the field, watching with amused eyes as he yelled at Greg Mathews for running into Mitchell Splint.

James looked stressed, he had bags under his eyes when he turned and spotted her waiting. Lily waved cheerily at him and he waved back before focusing on his team again. James paced and he talked with his hands when he was angry. Lily couldn't tell if it was true anger or if James was just taking out his stress on his poor second string. Either way, his players looked exhausted by the time James excused them for dinner. Lily stood up off the wall she'd been leaning against when he walked her way with a half a smile.

"Nice flying." she teased.

"What do I have to do to get you on a broom?" despite how fatigued he was, James could never resist being a smart arse.

"I'll fly with you." She responded as he came to a stop in front of her, "As long as you don't mind being late to dinner so we can talk about Pigeon."

The students had taken to calling Professor Pidge after the annoying flocks of birds who take over squares and parks. The nickname seemed to fit Pidge well, despite the Professor looking more like a grizzled old mutt than a speedy little bird. Lily didn't feel bad for the nickname since their Professor couldn't be bothered to learn their names either. Lily had been looking forward to Defense Against the Dark Arts, especially after the bonfire over the summer. It was disappointing that they'd gotten stuck with Pigeon as their Professor.

James' eyes quirked with interest at her request but nodded and motioned for Lily to follow him to the broom shed. A few of the second string players smiled at them as they passed in silence. James grabbed his broomstick from the shed and passed Lily a school broom in turn. Lily let her fingers run across the smooth broomstick handle while James closed and locked the shed with a key from his pocket. She hadn't been flying since last year but she was eager to take to the skies again.

Lily and James both mounted their brooms and took off simultaneously. Their enchanted brooms lifted them into the air and Lily followed James' accelerations until they were zooming next to each other around the quidditch pitch. So high in the air, Lily could see the tops of the castle, the trees that made up the forbidden forest, and even the great lake sparkling in the sunset. She was so distracted that she almost forgot why she was flying. It was James who cleared his throat and brought her head down from the clouds.

"What did you want to talk about?" James hair was flying wildly around his face as their brooms slowed so they were hovering in the middle of the pitch together.

Lily frowned to show her unhappiness, "Tommy Coons keeps cornering me every time he sees me asking if we've spoken to Pigeon."

"I told Coons I was handling it." He declared mildly annoyed, "Why's he going to you?"

Lily eyed James, "Probably because nothings changed in class."

"It won't have." James replied nonchalantly, "I've barely had time to blink let alone go talk to a Professor about being an arse," He was frustrated, Lily watched his left hand ruffle his black hair madly, "and I can't just walk in there and tell a Professor the way he should be teaching."

Lily agreed quickly, not wanting James to think she was angry with him, "I don't even know _how_ a blind teacher could possibly help us against dark magic!"

James pouted his lower lip, "I just wish Dumbledore had hired someone else, anyone else."

Lily had to agree with James, especially as their second week back at school dragged on. Maria Merryweather looked close to tears on Monday and by Wednesday Tommy Coons was back to cornering both Lily and James after class. Finally on Friday, James raged out before Tommy could get to them.

"I'll go talk to Dumbledore tonight!" James snapped at Tommy who looked uncomfortable as soon as James yelled at him, "Bloody Hell Coons, some of us have _lives_ , you know."

Lily bit her lip and looked at James with concern, he still had circles under his eyes. she wondered if he'd been sleeping as he was extra irritable. Tommy mumbled something about how James needed to cool down as he went to his seat. Lily and Marlene exchanged a glance as they walked to lunch together. Everyone was on edge thanks to Professor Pidge.

Lily welcomed the weekend more than usual, ready to just get a break from the drama. If Professor Pidge had any indication of the students' anger, he didn't act upon it. The first years complained in the common room that they felt like all they ever did was read in class. The fifth years were worried they'd never pass OWLs with Professor Pidge.

James returned to the common room late on Friday. Lily spotted him from a table near the windows where she and the other Gryffindor seventh years were working on essays. He was dressed in his school robes still and they were rumpled from a long day. Lily frowned when his eyes searched the common room and then fell on her. Without a word to her friends, Lily stood up and went over to where James stood gawkily in the farthest corner of the common room.

"Hey." She said softly when she reached him by the portrait hole, "What's up?"

James' fists were clenched, "I just got out of a meeting with Professor McGonagall and I asked her about Professor Pidge."

Lily furrowed her brow, "Not Headmaster Dumbledore?"

If anyone could right their problems it was Dumbledore.

"She's deputy Headmistress this week." James said glumly, "Dumbledore's on important business."

"What'd Professor McGonagall say?"

James looked irked, "That we need to understand this is Pigeon's first teaching job."

"You're joking." Lily moaned and James shook his head.

"I'll speak to Dumbledore the minute he gets back." James promised her, "And I told Coons to leave you alone."

"Thanks." She had her hands pressed to her temple.

"Lily!" Mary called.

Lily turned to see her friend waving at her to rejoin them. Lily held up a finger to Mary, signaling she needed a moment. When Lily turned back to James she noticed he was yawning. She put a smile on her face and touched him kindly on his arm.

"Going to bed?" she asked him and he shook his head.

"Nah," he replied, "I have rounds tonight."

She frowned as he turned and retreated back out the portrait hole. Lily knew how James felt. She was on rounds until late a night and she was still juggling her homework around her Head Girl schedule. Lily couldn't imagine how hard it must be for James who had to juggle not only Head Boy but also school and quidditch. As Lily sat back down to finish her charms essay with the other girls Lily wondered if she could add a few of James' rounds to her schedule. He was doing so much already.

"What'd James want?" Ingrid asked as she traded notes with Mary, "He looked mad."

Lily sighed as she picked up her quill, "It was about Professor Pidge."

Everyone at the table understood immediately, even Mary, who wasn't taking Defense Against the Dark Arts. Marlene popped the bubble gum she was chewing thoughtfully. Susan blinked owlishly at Lily.

" _What_ about Professor Pidge?" Susan asked.

"Professor McGonagall thinks we're being to harsh on him." Lily told the group, "Since it's his first year teaching."

Marlene snorted, "He won't even talk to us."

Ingrid bowed her head, "Marley's right, Pigeon hates us."

Lily was just hoping to get through the next week without having to blow up at the incompetent Professor.

Of course, fate was a fickle thing, and by the third week of school, Lily finally reached the point where she could no longer keep peace. Professor Pidge had dragged in a radio into the classroom. He replaced the silence with god-awful music as the students tried to read their books or complete other tasks they had brought with them. Lily and Marlene were passing notes with Ingrid. James used Defense as an opportunity to sleep and Lily knew no one could sleep with the screaming banshee on the radio. Sirius looked to be reading a muggle comic. The music only got louder as the week went on. In the middle of a chorus to what sounded like yelping ghoul Lily finally lost her cool. Lily stood up from her desk, closed her charms volume, walked to the front of the class, and turned off the radio by flipping the switch.

Professor Pidge jolted in his chair as silence overtook the classroom, "Who did that?"

"Lily Evans." Lily replied and Pidge turned to the sound of her voice, "One of your students, if you'd care to remember."

Professor Pidge rocked backwards in his chair, grey eyes flashing, "Girl, if I cared about any of you, I'd actually bother teaching this class."

Heat rose on Lily's cheeks at his dismissive tone, "I have enough reason to report you to Dumbledore and get you sacked." Lily said haughtily.

"Ha!" Pidge cackled, leaning back farther in his chair as if Lily suggested the funniest thing, "Dumbledore was desperate for someone to take this post girl. He can't _afford_ to fire me!"

"I'm Head Girl." Lily adjusted her shoulders despite the sting of his tone, "And as such, I need to represent the students—"

"Head Girl," Pidge cut her off importantly, "How proud you must be to hold such a worthless title."

Tears moved across her vision and her shoulders dropped.

"Hey!" Lily heard Marlene shout loyally from her seat, "That's no way to talk to your students!"

"If you all would rather argue with me than read your books," Pidge raised his voice over Marlene's irritated tenor, "Class is dismissed."

Lily struggled not to let Pidge know she was crying. She turned herself away from him and went back to her desk, stuffing her things in her bag. Maria Merryweather and Angus Holdt looked at her with pity as they left the room. Even Tommy Coons left her alone. Lily swallowed back her tears, not believing how unpleasant Professor Pidge was.

 _How could one man be so bitter and mean?_

She choked on a sob she was holding back just as a hand fell on her shoulder. Lily turned her cheek and saw James was leaning over her, unease on his face. She swallowed and brushed the tears from her eyes as he slung his arm around her shoulder to lead her away from the desks.

Everyone crowded around Lily when James made it outside of the classroom with her. Marlene took Lily from James' hold and hugged her tightly. Lily hugged her friend back and felt so small in Marlene's tight grasp.

"Everyone go to your next class." James demanded from Lily's side, "She'll be fine."

Lily rubbed her eyes and confirmed, "I'm fine."

Maria mumbled as she passed, "Thanks for trying to help us Lily."

Marlene pulled away so he could look at Lily in the face, her blue eyes were ice cold, "Pigeon is a massive prick."

"Marlene's right." James told Lily, "You didn't deserve that."

They were alone; apparently James' glares keeping everyone at bay. Lily wiped her tears on her sleeves and stared pointedly at the ground. She was embarrassed for crying and she was embarrassed about the way James squeezed her shoulders.

"Ignore him Evans," James begged softly, "Pigeon is a dick. Head Girl is important—you're important."

"I c-can't believe he wasn't even threatened by—Dumbledore." She managed, looking up at James with despair, "It's like he—hates us."

James shook his head and Lily was surprised when he pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly as he whispered, "I'm sorry." She leaned her forehead into his chest, "I think it was great of you to stand up to him."

Marlene agreed firmly, patting Lily on her back, "No one can say you and James haven't tried to fix this mess."

"I made a fool of myself." She mumbled into James' chest.

Marlene and James exchanged a look.

James squeezed Lily tightly once more, "You did not, he's an arse and you're perfect."

She was suddenly very glad her face was pressed into his chest because she flushed from his words. James' words were more than enough to make Lily feel better and by the time she pulled herself from his grasp, her tears had disappeared. James walked both girls to lunch and made sure Lily was situated with Mary before going to sit with Sirius and Peter.

Lily spent the next three days struggling in Defense Against the Dark Arts. Lily was discouraged with the hole she'd dug for herself and the other students. Professor Pidge was worse than ever, even going so far as to not show up for one class. Word about Lily's confrontation had traveled fast around Hogwarts and now no one else was brave enough to stand up to him for being a ghastly teacher.

James' face remained stony each and every class. Lily couldn't help noticing the little looks he shared with Sirius. They were up to something. Lily was unable to ask either boy for information because she was so busy. She'd taken some of James' rounds (despite his protest) and was helping Professor Slughorn plan his first party of the term for Slug Club. Lily was the unofficial president of the club and Professor Slughorn had her writing and owling out invitations to party guests whenever she had a spare moment.

Besides that, teachers were no longer being sympathetic to the first years about tardiness. By October first Lily found herself being stopped at least ten times by the younger students, begging for help so they wouldn't be late to class. It was like her head girl badge also included a shiny sign on her back that read: 'see me if you're lost'. Marlene had long since ditched Lily, not wanting to be late herself since they had Transfiguration. Professor McGonagall was not okay with tardiness, even from the Head Girl. Lily wouldn't be surprised if McGonagall would lock the door on her, not allowing her into lecture.

By the time she made it back into the proper floor and was walking past the empty classrooms it was already 8:15 and she could hear Professor McGonagall's voice coming from a classroom down the hall. She was lecturing on transfiguring the human body; Lily could hear her mention various bones in the body that reacted poorly to magic. Lily stopped feet from the doorway because the door was closed and Lily was certain if she tugged on the handle it would stay that way.

Grumbling angrily, Lily turned away from the door, not noticing the boy who had come flying around the corner. He skidded to a halt but it was too late, Lily turned right into his chest. She stumbled for a moment, almost falling backwards but he reached out with both hands and caught her shoulders, steadying her. Lily looked up into his hazel eyes and grinned meekly.

"Oh, hey James."

"Fuck," James cursed as Lily rocked back on her heels, "Sorry Lily, I was in a hurry."

Lily regained her footing and noted his hair was wild, his face was red from running, and his glasses were uneven. It was very obvious that he was late for class too. Lily pulled away from his grasp and fixed her shoulder bag so it didn't dig into her shoulder. James used the time to catch his breath as he glanced at the Transfiguration door in agony. Lily knew Professor McGonagall was his favorite teacher. He hated disappointing her.

"Reckon you didn't bother trying to get in?" he sighed, turning back to her.

"I don't fancy lecture from McGonagall for even trying." Lily replied, "You?"

James laughed softly and shook his head, "Nah."

She and James fell into step beside each other as they headed back down the hall, towards the staircase. Portraits were snoozing in their frames and outside the windows of the castle the sky was mixed with dark clouds threatening rain later that day. Lily sideways at James and considered him with a kind expression.

"Why were you late?"

James pointed at the shiny head boy badge on his chest, "I was stopped at least eight different times for directions by the kids."

"Me too." She touched her badge lightly; "I wish they made maps for the students."

James seemed to find hat she said funny because he let out an airy laugh, "That'd be helpful."

"No kidding." Lily said, "I wish I had a map when I first started here. I got lost the first three months."

He straightened the glasses on his face speculatively, "I'm sure someone in this school has created a map and just won't share it with everyone." as they descended the stairs together he asked, "How are you feeling?"

Lily brushed her hair behind her ear, "What do you mean?"

"I mean our teacher was an asshole to you and I want to know how you're handling it?" He said smartly.

Lily thought of Professor Pidge and her mood worsened, "Well, every time I see him I feel the urge to throw up but other than that—"

"Yeah, I feel the same," then he sighed, "I've never hated a class this much before."

"I'm starting to wish I took muggle studies with Mary." Lily admitted.

"Same." James grinned over at her, "Got any plans for the next hour or so?"

Lily shrugged, "I dunno, what are you thinking?"

James winked, "I was just following you so I had someone intelligent to talk to while I wait."

Lily laughed, "Thanks, I think."

James saluted her, "Anytime."

Lily stopped walking once they reached the main staircase. She sat down on the top step and he followed her movements, knocking knees with her as she sat down. He was wearing his robes unbuttoned like Marlene often did. It seemed to be a new style everyone was adapting to show off his or her clothes underneath the school robes. James had on his black school slacks and a white shirt fashioned with a red and gold tie. Lily thought he looked handsome, even if his glasses were leaning to the left on his face and he had his Head Boy badge on upside down.

Lily chuckled to herself and reached forward, taking James by surprise when she unpinned the Head Boy badge and correctly right ended it on his collar. It was his hesitant stare that kept her eyes low, it felt like he was seeing right through her.

"Thanks." He mumbled.

"Welcome." She took her hands away from his chest and let them fold politely on her lap.

"I guess I should take this time to see Professor Dumbledore." James sighed, glancing at a watch on his wrist.

"I can come with you." Lily offered.

"Nah," he waved her offer away; "I'd rather talk to him alone without you there."

Lily tilted her head at James, "Why?"

James shrugged, "It's easier for me to think without you around."

She stared at her hands again.

"You know," he knocked his knees against hers again, "I've been thinking a lot about our kiss."

"James," she warned delicately.

James chuckled in response to her scorn, "I know you're happy right now with the way things are and I'm okay with that." he beamed dangerously, "doesn't mean I can't appreciate how good a kisser you are."

"God, you're such a flirt." She said.

He laughed once and then leaned over and kissed her lightly on the cheek before jumping up from the stair they sat on and walked away before she could reprimand him. It was funny because James and Lily hadn't always been so civil. It had taken five years of knowing each other to accept each other for who they were.

Thinking of her younger years and James Potter, Lily sat alone of the staircase watching passerby. Students passed and didn't even glance in her direction. She worked on a letter home to her mother, trying to describe how her first few weeks had been. She normally left out a lot in letters to her parents now. They didn't understand the magical world and often seemed intimated of it, despite how proud they were of her.

Even though the world outside of Hogwarts was changing, Hogwarts hadn't changed. It was still the best place Lily had ever lived. Even still, explaining to her mum how some students never returned after summer holidays and how Lily spotted Aurors patrolling Hogsmede when she got off the train—those were the things she didn't know if she could properly explain. Her parents were always so supportive of her magical side; the one they didn't know she had until she turned eleven and the letter from Hogwarts came. Before that, they just thought Lily was a bit different. Even know, as she grew older and spent more time in the magical world she'd go home and there would be a strange barrier building between Lily and her parents.

Lily mother would talk about friends Lily hadn't seen in years while Lily would talk about magical adventures with friends her mother had never met. Lily's father would comment on the rising gas prices and Lily would complain about the rising war that her magical government was doing nothing to contain. Lily's sister would go from beau to beau always talking about the latest social event and Lily spent her summers at home alone in her room laughing while reading letters from her school friends in their shared bedroom.

Sometimes it was hard being the only person with magic in a family of muggles, no matter how much Lily loved her family.

Lily looked up from her letter writing when she saw flashes of long blonde hair joined with thick black hair. She recognized the tall girls from behind and stood up, stuffing her letter in the bag. Maria Merryweather and her friends were in Transfiguration with Lily so their appearance meant it was almost time for class. As Lily followed closely behind the gossiping Hufflepuff's she was upset to see James and his friends hadn't arrived yet. Lily glanced around the room to see most everyone else was seated and ready for another agonizing class. Thomas Coons was sitting up straight, his eyes meeting Lily's as she took her seat; he'd been extremely civil after Lily's attempt to direct Professor Pidge.

"Where's the blind old Pigeon already?" Craig Ford from Slytherin demanded as he entered the classroom behind Marlene, "Class started a minute ago."

"Potter still isn't here either." Coons noted attentively.

Lily sank in her seat and looked at the unoccupied seat behind her. None of the 7th year boys from Gryffindor were anywhere to be seen. Lily and Marlene exchanged a glance with each other. Lily wondered where James had gone off too after their staircase rendezvous.

"Were James and you together?" Marlene asked as she took her seat, "You were both missing in Transfiguration."

"We talked for a bit." Lily confessed, "But he disappeared, said he was going to talk to Professor Dumbledore."

"Maybe he's talking to Pigeon." Maria Merryweather said hopefully.

The students turned their respective eyes on the Head Girl, thinking she might know something.

Just as she was about to defend her honor, Sirius Black strolled into the classroom easy-as-you-please. Immediately whispers broke out among the students behind Lily. It wasn't often that one Gryffindor boy appeared without another. Sirius' raven colored hair was tied into a bun on his head; grey eyes glinting with a wicked glimmer that would make the school's female population fall to his feet in a heartbeat. Lily didn't trust his easy grin as he slid into the spare seat next to Lily.

"Sirius—"

Lily started to ask him why he looked like he'd solved the mystery of the century but Professor Pidge walked into the classroom seconds behind Black and that's when all Hell broke loose.

Professor Pidge had his walking stick with him today, likely to help him navigate the long Hogwarts hallways. The wooden cane was stroking each stone with precision as he made his way to the teacher's desk in the middle of the room. The students around Lily pulled out their books. Lily kept her gaze steadily fixed on Sirius. Sirius was staring at his watch as if counting down to himself.

"What's going on?" Lily hissed at Sirius and the boy had the nerve to disregard her question.

Professor Pidge leaned his walking stick at the edge of his desk and cleared his throat. Sirius kept his gaze on his watch and Lily only tore her eyes away from him to watch as Professor Pidge settled into his chair and spoke assertively.

"I just got out of a meeting with Professor Dumbledore and it turns out I actually have to talk to you brats so take out a quill and parchment to tell me how to defend yourself against a werewolf."

The students broke out in whispers; they hadn't covered werewolves much, except for quick lessons in their fifth year before OWLs. Lily could practically feel Thomas Coons eyes glaring into her neck—begging her to speak up. Lily raised her hand and then pulled it back down almost instantly, remembering their Professor was blinder than a bat.

"Er, Professor?" Lily spoke up faintheartedly, "isn't the whole point of this class you _teaching_ us how to defend ourselves?"

"I don't believe in holding your hand as you try to solve the worlds problems girl," Pidge dictated, "Part of being a good witch or wizard is trusting your instinct."

Lily flushed and glowered at Professor Pidge, wishing a werewolf would break into the classroom at that very moment and take Pidge out of his own misery. Suddenly, the classroom door opened noisily and Remus Lupin stumbled into the classroom with Peter Pettigrew at his heels. Peter looked like he was perspiring and Remus flashed a wink in Sirius' direction. Sirius sent Remus two thumbs up as they communicated wordlessly.

"Sorry we're late." Remus huffed loudly for Pidge, "Got lost."

"Sit down." Pidge commanded of Remus and Peter, "Your essay will be double the length."

"Damn." Peter cursed as he sat down somewhere behind Lily, "Pigeon's in the _best_ mood."

Lily took a deep breath and spoke up again, "Sir, how are we supposed to know how to protect ourselves against a creature we have no experience with?"

Remus inquired as he sat next to Sirius, "What creature is this?"

Sirius told Remus jubilantly, "Werewolves."

"Ah." Remus looked rather charmed and gave Sirius a toothy smile, "Lovely."

Lily huffed, well past trying to understand what the boys were up too.

She continued speaking despite the fact that the last time she'd spoken up she'd been shot down, "Sir, please. We're all in this class to learn from you…certainly you have _something_ to teach us?"

"You kids demand to learn but continue to speak over me." Pidge slammed his hand on his desk.

"We aren't kids." Lily disputed, "We're seventeen and about to enter the world."

"And the world you're entering is cruel to your inexperienced generation," Professor Pidge snarled.

Coons spoke up bravely, "We can't be experienced if our Professors don't teach us anything."

"All of you want magical solutions to the world's problems but no magic can save you from the darkness." Pidge's eyes were wide and unblinking; "Your naivety will leave you in the dark, you all might as well be blind."

Lily's jaw dropped open at his bluntness. Whispers exploded in the classroom. Sirius whistled, like he was impressed with Professor Pidge. Everyone in the classroom looked at Sirius while Professor Pidge slammed his cane on the floor.

"Whose whistling?!"

Sirius leaned back in his chair sluggishly, "Sorry Professor, I was just impressed at your ability to be the biggest prick in the whole castle."

"What's your name boy?"

"Sirius Black."

Pigeon grunted, "Detention Black."

Sirius roguishly replied, "If you can't see me, how do you know if I'll show up to detention?"

"Don't make me hit you over the head with my walking stick boy." Pidge's face was redder than a bell pepper, irritated by the student uprising.

There was a loud scrambling sound as the door to the classroom flew open. Peeves the school poltergeist appeared, zooming over the student's heads. Prfoessor Pidge stood up, demanding attention but receiving none as Peeve's sped around the classroom boisterously. Filch, the schools caretaker, entered the classroom next brandishing a cleaning mop filled with suds. Filch reached to hit Peeves with the mop and only ended up splattering the front row with sudsy water. Lily coughed bubbles from her mouth as she wiped the suds from her face and watched in terror as Peeves grabbed Professor Pidge's walking stick from his hand, branding it like a sword.

Then, like a comedy gone wrong, Filch and Peeve's began jousting in the middle of the classroom. Everyone in the front row kept ducking from the cane and mop. Marlene yanked Lily down to miss Peeve's sword twice. The classroom erupted into laughter when Filch got hit on top of the head with the walking stick.

Pidge reached around the empty air for his cane, "where's my walking stick?!"

Sirius' grey eyes were glittering dangerously as he laughed louder than everyone in the room. Lily pushed back her red hair and leaned away from flying soapsuds as Peeves and Filch continued their swordfight. Seconds later, Lily had to jump out of the way and onto the floor as Peeves swung the walking cane around in the air echoing a war cry. Everyone in the front row dropped to the floor to escape from the flying walking stick.

"Black!" Pidge blubbered, "Give me my cane!"

"I don't have it Professor." Sirius said between gasps for air from laughing so hard.

Filch and Peeves were shouting unintelligent words at each other and Lily had gotten to her feet, reaching into her robes for her wand, just incase she had to produce a shield charm. Peeves is lethal with the walking stick and was decking anyone close enough. Filch tripped over a desk and landed on the floor beside Lily's feet looking utterly mad. Peeve's abandoned his terror of Filch and turned to their blind Professor.

"Stop this nonsense!" Pidge shouted with great misperception, "stop it!"

Peeves was floating over Professor Pidge, poking him all over with his own walking stick.

" _Poor Professor Pigeon, not able to see a smidgeon_!" Peeves sang out loud.

Thomas Coons, who looked positively thrilled at the turn of events, started yelling encouragement to Peeves, "Atta boy Peeves, give it to him!"

"That. Is. Enough!"

Silence fell over the room as Professor Flitwick entered the room. Small in stature, the students still respected the dwarf and they shut up immediately. Mean while, Peeves was still singing about the blindness of their infuriated Professor, twirling the walking cane in the air like a baton. Behind Flitwick, Lily was stunned to see James Potter had finally arrived to class, looking quite amused. His hazel eyes were taking in the scene with a wide grin.

Professor Pidge straightened his robes, "Unbelievable!" he exclaimed, "Never have I been so disrespected!"

Professor Flitwick pointed at the school poltergeist, "Mr. Peeves please give Professor Pidge his walking stick back."

Peeves dropped the walking stick the floor and disappeared through he ceiling. Lily thought she saw Peeve's send a wink in James' direction and Lily became suspicious. James walked into the classroom, knelt down, and placed the walking stick back in Professor Pidge's hands. Professor Flitwick tapped his foot and turned upon the school caretaker.

"Mr. Filch kindly meet me in the office so we can discuss your untimely interruption of this class." Flitwick glanced at James who stood by the teacher's desk with a smile, "Thanks for grabbing me Mr. Potter."

Everyone settled into his or her seats quickly. Professor Flitwick and Filch left the classroom. They could hear Professor Flitwick's tiny voice chastising the school caretaker even when the door shut behind them. No one in the classroom wanted to say anything. Ingrid and Marlene were still struggling to cover their laughs. Coons looked rather like Christmas had come early.

Pidge squinted around the room, "What the hell just happened?"

"It must be so frustrating," James said loudly, efficiently, and clearly enough so that everyone could hear him, "to be left in the dark."

Lily started at James in complete shock, not bothering to laugh with the rest of the class. Professor Pidge had said the exact same thing to the class moments before Peeve's had burst in. How had James known? Unless…unless _James_ had been the one to encourage Peeves to break into the classroom?

Professor Pidge, frustrated and humiliated, demanded everyone take their seats and finish their essays on werewolves. He threatened detention for anyone who spoke. James caught Lily staring at him as he made his way to the empty seat near her. James winked at Lily before he and Sirius shared high fives. A small smile lifted her face as she realized that they _had_ been behind the entire fiasco.

Lily waited for James in one of the alcoves after class, pulling him away from his friends when they walked past. Only Sirius looked back when James disappeared from their posse. Sirius sniggered when he saw whom James was being cornered by but Lily didn't bother acting shamed. James even laughed as she yanked him behind the pillar, leaning up against the cool stone lazily like it was totally normal for Lily Evans to pull him into the dark alcoves after class.

"How'd you do that?!"

"What?" He asked innocently, pushing his glasses up his nose and grinning brilliantly at her.

"Filch! And Peeves!" She poked her finger into his chest, "I _know_ that was you James Potter! Especially after that _'left in the dark'_ shite!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about Lily." James feigned virtue, "All I know is I went to the bathroom during class and when I got back I had to grab Flitwick because Peeves was wreaking havoc in the Defense classroom."

She burst into laughter and leaned up against the pillar next to him, shaking her head, "You're such a _liar_ , James Potter."

"I have no idea what you mean." But his satisfied smile was giving him away.

"You're so lucky Professor Flitwick thinks you're innocent." Lily told him.

James didn't look like he cared much, "I couldn't just sit back and let that class go on for one more awful day."

"Are you the one who got Dumbledore to talk to Pidge?" Lily asked.

"Maybe." James hummed, "After all, that's what a respectful Head Boy would do, right?"

"Respectful Head Boy my arse." She laughed, pinching his arm, "You're such a—a— _git_ "

He bowed mockingly and said sneakily, "I prefer the term _marauder_ when describing my mischief-making."

"What about Peeves?" she nudged him back, this time with her foot.

James' eyes crinkled happily, "That was Sirius' doing." Then he added after she sent him a disbelieving glare, "Okay, okay, I may have helped convince Peeve's to get Filch worked up enough to interrupt a class."

"You're bad." She shook her head at him, "Absolute trouble."

"You laughed." He countered, "I saw you."

Lily sighed, "I doubt that your little prank will change his mind about hating us though."

"I didn't do it to make him like us." James sniffed, "I did it cause he's a git and we all needed a laugh."

"You should probably apologize to him though, laugh or not."

"Apologize?" James started at her with a flabbergasted expression, "Come on Lily, he doesn't deserve any apology."

Lily glared at James, "Peeves _stole_ his walking cane. Arse or not James, he _is_ disabled."

"Yeah, yeah." He grumbled, staring at the stone floor like he didn't mean it but Lily thought she spotted a bit of remorse on his face.

"Fine." She answered casually, standing up off the wall she was leaning against and giving him one last guarded look, "that's your choice."

She started down the hallway; it only took James five seconds to join her. He was ruffling his hair and his jaw was tight. It was obvious he was thinking hard about something they'd discussed. She ignored his turmoil until it was obvious he wanted her to ask.

"What's wrong?" She finally said when he exhaled deeply.

James stopped walking. She stopped too. They were on the staircases so she had to crank her head up to look up to him. James' hand hadn't left his hair as he contemplated something.

" _What_?" She asked again, tilting her head.

"You're just-" He began and then stopped talking, his eyes tracing her face for any reaction to his observation.

She gave him none, "I'm just?"

"We've known each other for seven years now and yet you still manage to surprise me." He placed a hand on the bannister, moving so that he and Lily stood on the same step together.

Lily stood up straighter, trying to intimidate him, "I guess that makes two for two."

James was not intimidated in the slightest; in fact, he chuckled and leaned closer to her, "keep the surprises coming Evans, yeah?"

Lily bit her lip when he winked. The narcissistic brat that he was, he couldn't ever help but flirt with her. She decided to distract him before he stepped even closer.

"Can I ask what I did that was so surprising?"

"To be honest, I half expected you to yell at me." James straightened his glasses, "But all I got were a few smiles and a major guilt trip."

"Yell?"

"You like yelling." He observed, "You do it quite frequently."

"I do not!"

Her voice had raised a few octaves higher and James grinned a pretentious smirk. Lily frowned and elbowed him in the ribs, only to make his grin grow wider. Lily tried hard to not smile back at him.

She repeated in a softer tone, "I do not."

"It's fine, I normally deserve it." James replied considerately.

The offhanded way he said it and the fact that he couldn't look her in the face made Lily realize he was talking about the other times. James had always been confident and smart. It was common hen they w re younger to find him hexing students in the hallway just because he could. There were times when he picked on Lily's old neighbor from home named Severus for being a nerd. There was even a time when James had asked her out when they were fifteen _just_ to be a prick.

Merlin knew he deserved to be brought down from his ego trip when he was being an arse-but that fact that she had surprised him by _not_ yelling surprised her. Lily certainly didn't approve of everything that happened in the classroom but at least no one got hurt, except someone's pride. Lily took a step forward and he looked down at her movement because it brought her right next to him. Lily placed a warm hand on his arm. James froze like a deer in the headlights, his eyes tracing her hand on his arm.

"It wasn't proper Head Boy behavior," she acknowledged, "but after seven years I've learned when to pick my battles carefully."

His eyes lifted to hers and a confident smirk appeared. Lily had no idea how James could go from vulnerable to assertive in three seconds flat but he always managed to do it around her with ease. James took a step forward so that he was plastering his body up against hers. This time it was her turn to freeze.

"While we're both picking battles," he pondered, "Want to go out with me?"

Lily closed her eyes and prayed to God that James wouldn't be the death of her. She then used both her hands to push him backwards and he laughed out loud as his back hit the bannister on the other side of the staircase. Lily opened her eyes to see James was clutching his stomach and she couldn't resist the smile on her face as she watched him laugh off her discernible rejection.

"Nice try," she crossed her arms to look threatening but she was still smirking from his childlike reaction, "but we both know it'd be a horrible match."

James stopped laughing instantly and glared at her, "Really?" he sounded genuinely surprised, "You think we wouldn't be good together? Lily, I don't mean to brag for the both of us, but our snogging is _hot_."

Lily's eyebrows rose to her hairline, "You never give up do you?"

"I'm persistent," James agreed, "But you only encourage me."

"I call you a git at least three times a week." Lily couldn't help but laugh at him, "How is _that_ encouragement?"

James looked for a loss at words and he even looked a bit put-off by her reply. His left hand reached for his hair, pulling a bit at the strands before looking at her again. She propped herself against her bannister, waiting for his reply.

But then he disappointed her, "I guess you're right." He finally said, making his way down the staircase, "I forget that you're quite partial towards cephalopods."

"Not the stupid squid again," Lily rolled her eyes and followed James down the staircase, "I was _kidding_ , James!"

James snuck a look behind, "Hey," he defended himself, "You're the one who said you'd rather date a squid over me."

Lily's hand squeezed the bannister as she called after him, "I was fifteen and you were being a prick!"

His glasses were slipping against his face in a charming way, "Yeah? As big a prick as Snape?"

She was struck by the way the firelight of the torches reflected off his jet-black hair. James' hazel eyes, always so expressive, were crinkled with laughter from his teasing. Lily's hand squeezed the bannister again as she lost whatever she was going to say before, stuck frozen under his striking stare.

"Sorry Evans," he said when she didn't speak, "I know that was out of line."

"It's fine."

"It's not fine, I can tell by the look on your face."

"If I wanted to talk about it I would, James." Her voice faltered and she began walking again.

He rolled is eyes at her off put tone but didn't stretch the topic any farther. Severus Snape was not their favorite person at Hogwarts. Lily had grown up with Snape and tried very hard to forget they'd ever once been friends after Snape verbally assaulted her whens he came to his rescue during one of James' fifteen-year-old ego-driven pranks. Snape loathed James and vis versa, Lily hadn't seen either of the boy's interact with each other in a while and for that she was thankful.

James and Severus fighting could only lead to trouble that included expulsion from Hogwarts.

Lily would take a hundred pranks on Professor Pidge over one fight between Severus Snape and James Potter. Lily sighed and looked over at James with interest as they walked into the Great hall together. His hazel eyes were scanning the Gryffindor table, looking for his mates. He left Lily without another word and she took a seat beside Mary who had noticed who Lily had walked into the Great Hall with looking upset.

"What'd he do?" Mary asked worriedly, a glare aimed at James' retreating back.

"Nothing." Lily told Mary softly, "James just said something that was a bit off."

Marlene cut in when Lily couldn't finish her sentence, "Did he prank Professor Pidge?"

The other Gryffindor girls leaned in as they realized whom Marlene was talking too. Lily placed her bag down on the seat beside her and then lifted her eyes to Marlene's. Marlene looked eager for answers.

"Yes." Lily answered truthfully, "It was him and his mates."

"Brilliant." Ingrid and Marlene both said at the same time.

"Potter pranked a Professor?" Mary looked concerned.

"It was amazing!"

Ingrid eagerly told Mary the entire story as Lily fretted over James' actions in the hallway. Everyone always told Lily how James Potter fancied her. Severus had told her. Mary had told her. Hell, even Lily wondered if James' jests and flirting were more than just him being a prick. Something about James' dejection when she'd said they wouldn't make a good couple haunted Lily the rest of the night.

Every time they started fresh with each other they always drudged up their past. With James everything was easy and she knew not to judge him on what they'd said or done to each other as kids. Still, knowing they used past arguments as ways to remind each other of their flaws, made her stomach twinge. She doubted he _really_ liked her. He knew her just as well as any of the other Gryffindor's and he called her out for her bullshit just as often as she called him out on his.

Lily hadn't ever been in love but she had to believe that it wasn't debating in stairwells and flirting at bonfires. No matter how much she enjoyed doing both of those things with James she knew they'd always be pushing and pulling at each other. That was just how their friendship had always worked. Lily was certain that whatever feelings James claimed he had for her were purely because he liked snogging her. Not that she didn't enjoy kissing him. She couldn't lie and say she hadn't thought of their kiss at the bonfire more than once.

Kissing aside, they were friends ( _great_ friends) and Lily liked him best without the implications of something more.

* * *

 **Next Time:**

He was quite possibly the most bewildering thing to her.

"You know," he crooned, "When you look at me like that, it really makes me reconsider this _friends_ thing you say we have going on."

"You're only saying that because you want me to put you into a coma."

* * *

 **Heyyyyyy everyone! You guys are all the sweetest! I think I've died and gone to heaven from all your kind words! I love that you love the plot and characters already! I really appreciated the feedback! Yes, this won't be a Commentarius length story. My stories typically don't go longer than 14 chapters, and even that's a lot for me. I promise that I won't leave you hanging for more.**

 **Expect an update next Thursday!**

 **xxx**

 **Petals**


	4. It Looks Alright In The Pictures

**Disclaimer:**

 _I'm sorry if anyone thought Lily asking James to apologize to Pidge because Peeves stole Pidge's walking cane is prejudiced because "being disabled" was the only reason Lily gave James to apologize for his prank. Lily is not going to say or do the right things all the time; she's not going to be able to read James' mind to know what he's thinking; and she's most certainly not going to be likable all the time. I did not aim to offend any of my readers with the last chapter and I'm sorry if I did offend you._

 **With that, please enjoy the next chapter.**

* * *

 **Chapter 4:**

 _It's a new art form_

 _Showing people how little we care_

Even though James had spoken to Dumbledore about Professor Pidge the only thing that changed in class was the fact that they were given topics to write about each day. The topics were mostly random, some not even having to do with Dark Arts. They were technically 'learning' things but their lessons were boring as Hell and Pidge still didn't care about any of them.

Lily nodded off at least twenty times each class thanks to the dull depressing topics they were given to research. Even Maria Merryweather, who lived for Defense Against the Dark Arts, was hard to arouse each class. The papers the classes turned in after each class could be found piling up on the desk as weeks went on. Some students even stopped writing papers. Lily wrote hers, if only because to was something to do. The only one she didn't write was the proposal to cure a stomach ache with sound therapy.

Even Sirius, who always tried pretending to not care, protested one day after class, "Why does Pigeon have us write these essays if he can't even read them?"

"It's only because Dumbledore told Pigeon that essays are required for the upper levels." James complained with his head in his hands, "I should've never told Dumbledore."

The seventh year Gryffindors all sat in the back of the History of Magic classroom. Peter had brought up Defense Against the Dark Arts and it wasn't long until they were all complaining about the essays they had to write. Lily was braiding Marlene's hair, listening into the conversations but not imputing her own opinion. Marlene's thick curls were a struggle to braid but Lily managed to wrap the braids around Marlene's head as Ingrid watched with envy in her eyes.

"Maybe Pigeon gets the other Professors to read them." Peter suggested.

"Doubtful." James replied sardonically, "I never see Pigeon talk to anyone _but_ Dumbledore."

"And that's if the Headmaster is even here." Lily finally spoke up as she tied the ends of Marlene's braids, "He's been traveling more and more the last few weeks."

Lily and James shared a look as everyone around them agreed that the Headmaster had been missing at dinner. Professor McGonagall had pulled Lily and James into her office the week before to warn them that she was acting at deputy headmistress for another week. Headmaster Dumbledore was regularly being called out of the school, his experience in the last war pulling him from the safety of the school halls. Marlene turned her head to look at James.

"My parents wrote me last week and said they met with Dumbledore."

Marlene's parents worked in the Ministry and Lily wasn't surprised to hear of Dumbledore's involvement with the wizarding government. Lily was under the impression that Headmaster Dumbledore was one of the greatest wizards of all time. He was high in demand and yet the old man preferred spending his time in the School with the students. Professor McGonagall made it sound like Headmaster Dumbledore was not happy to be leaving Hogwarts so often.

Marlene leaned against Lily as she stared at her nails and continued, "Apparently Dumbledore stopped them to tell mum I was a 'joy' to teach."

"What a lie." Lily teased Marlene and the girls smirked at each other.

"What do you parents do?" Peter asked Marlene.

"Department of Mysteries." Marlene told Peter as Lily finished plaiting her own hair, "Don't know which mysteries they study but they're always there."

"That's wicked cool." Peter whistled, fascinated.

Marlene shrugged again as she examined Lily's braid falling over her shoulder, "I guess so." She flashed her blue eyes to Lily, "But if Dumbledore's meeting with people in the Department of Mysteries—they must've discovered something important."

"Like what?" Peter asked curiously.

"Like more mysteries ya idiot." Sirius rolled his eyes at Peter.

"It's called the Department of Mysteries for a reason." James said as if talking to a child.

Peter flushed but didn't say anything more. Marlene sighed deeply and looked happy when the conversation steered away from her parents and towards the weekend plans that everyone was making. Weekends were Lily's new favorite time at school and that was simply because it meant she didn't have to sit through Defense Against the Dark Arts.

Saturday afternoon the girls all hung out by the lake until goosebumps rose on their skin from the cool fall air. Lily, Marlene, and Mary all finished their homework by the chilly waters of the Great Lake while Ingrid and Susan traded gossip magazines. The Gryffindor students spent Saturday night eating sweets and listening to the radio station play a live set of a wizard rock band called _The Hinkypunks_.

On Sunday, Ingrid surprised everyone and organized a fun game of quidditch on the pitch. Ingrid was a Gryffindor chaser and knew where to get the keys so they could play on the pitch before Gryffindor's schedule practice. Everyone borrowed brooms from the quidditch shed and the girls charmed their shirts in rival colors. It was blue vs. red. Lily was one the blue team and she loved every spirited second. The girls never played by the rules since they were only playing for fun. Although nowhere near as good as actual quidditch games, the seventh year girls and a few sixth year girls had fun trying to out score each other.

Lily was too focused on stealing the quaffle from Mary to notice as the day slipped away. Mary was trying to kick out and swerve away from Lily but Lily reached and snatched the quaffle from Mary before the girls who were playing beaters could send a bludger her way. Marlene clapped at Lily's calculated steal while Mary grumbled from her loss. Lily passed the quaffle off to Ingrid who scored for their team of 'blue shirts' with ease that came after years of playing under James Potter's captaining.

It was the tenth goal for the blue team and all the girls on Lily's side screamed joyously as Ingrid officially called the game with a fist in the air. The red team moped because they'd only gotten eight goals.

"They're all cheaters!" Susan complained as Lily, Marlene, and Ingrid all high fived.

"Don't be a sore loser Sue!" Ingrid teased her best friend, bouncing the quaffle in her hands only to duck as Anna Faith sent a wayward bludger their way with a playful smack.

"Rematch!" Anna demanded and the other girls on the red team nodded enthusiastically at the challenge.

Just as Anna and Ingrid were preparing to toss the quaffle out again for a second round of blue versus red, the rest of the Gryffindor Quidditch team appeared on the pitch. Lily spotted them first from atop her broom right behind Ingrid. James Potter was leading his team, looking up at the mismatched girl players with an observant grin. Lily waved at him and he waved back just as keenly.

Lily might've been twenty feet above James but she couldn't miss his smirk as he hollered, "Playing quidditch and you didn't invite me?"

"Girls only I'm afraid." Lily called down to him.

"Don't stop on our account." James encouraged as the other girls froze mid play to lower their brooms closer to the ground.

"How about girls versus boys?" Lily wittily combatted.

"We'd crush them." Ingrid clapped her hands at the thought and then shouted down at the Gryffindor Captain, "Come on James! _Please_?"

James shrugged and slung a leg over his broom, "I don't think that's such a bad idea." He waved to the rest of his team, "Come on then, let's play!"

James raised himself into the air until he was between Lily and Ingrid. Lily beamed at him, tucking her red hair behind her ear as he knocked broomsticks with Ingrid. Anna Faith tossed James the quaffle she'd been holding and he caught it with ease. Lily leveled her broom a bit to the left so she'd have a good angle to watch the other players.

"Boys versus girls?" he confirmed as his other players rose in the air.

"Yeah!" Ingrid said excitedly, "We've got enough players for it!"

"Potter," Anna swung her beater bat in the air, "watch your neck because I'm gonna get you back for the fifty push ups you made me do last week."

"She's been aiming to kill for the past twenty minutes of our game." Mary warned James, "Especially after Lily kicked me."

"Lily kicked you?" James asked in wonder.

"I play rough." Lily said with a wide grin as James' eyebrows rose into his hairline.

"That's not the only thing she likes rough." Aaron Tivett snickered to the other boys on the team and Lily whipped around on her broom to snap at him but James got to Aaron first.

James' eyebrows shot up into his hairline, "Tivett," he ordered the blonde boy, "You'll be keeper."

Tivett punched the air and rose towards the keeper goals at the opposite end of the field.

Ingrid, sensing James' control, took control herself.

"Lily, Marlene, and I will be chasers." She barked to the girls, "Anna and Mary will be beaters."

"I call seeker!" Susan announced from her broom.

"Surprise, surprise." Lily mumbled to Marlene who grinned.

"We need a keeper." Mary reminded the girls softly.

"Lily can be keeper and I'll play chaser." A sixth year called Vicky said from her broomstick.

"Done." Ingrid nodded firmly, "Everyone get to your positions."

"I wasn't given a place!" Sixth year Ashley Minks said, put out.

"You'll step in in the case that one of us gets hurt." Ingrid told the other girls who hadn't been picked "Go wait in the stands and make sure the boys don't cheat."

"Guess I'm playing keeper." Lily waved at Marlene and winked at Mary who looked nervous as she took a beat bat from Anna.

James had picked his players by the time Lily reached the goal posts. The ones he didn't pick either sat in the stands with the other girls or watched from the field as everyone rose into their positions together. One of the second string players tossed a new quaffle to Ingrid just as another spare player released the golden snitch into the air.

The next minute was a whirlwind of flying colors. Lily kept her eyes on the quaffle being passed back and forth between Marlene and Ingrid as the boys attempted to steal it from them. Ingrid was keeping the quaffle firmly tucked and Marlene was attempting to block the boys. Vicky flew behind the other chasers, caught between Andrew Jackson and Jon Rogers. Anna Faith was beating the bludgers back and forth through the swirl of chasers, attempting to hit and always narrowly missing James.

After Anna's fifth attempt to knock James off his broom he bellowed, "Faith if you don't stop trying to kill me, I'll make you do a hundred pushups next practice!"

Lily, Anna, and Ingrid all laughed as another bludger narrowly missed James' shoulder but this time it came from Mary instead of Anna. Lily could see the grin spreading across Mary's face when James sent a death-defying glare in her direction. Mary waved her bat in the air innocently. Lily hadn't seen Mary smile like that in a long time and it warmed her insides to see her friend looking so happy, even if it was while trying to knock James off his broom.

Marlene attempted to throw the quaffle through the farthest goal but Aaron Tivett caught it effortlessly before tossing it over to James. Lily secured herself on her broom as James' eyes looked across the quidditch pitch to her guarded goals. He was going to try and make it all the way across the field without giving up his quaffle. Marlene and Ingrid flanked him, both attempting to take back the pilfered quaffle but James wasn't known for having slippery fingers. James' other two chasers kept on the girls, depriving them of the chance of taking back the ball.

Lily leaned forward on her broom just as James came up to the goal posts. He lifted the quaffle with one hand, aimed the ball with one eye closed, and threw the quaffle at her far left post.

"Get it Lily!"

Ingrid screeched as Lily supported her body on her broom by tightening her thighs on the wood before reaching out with her left hand. Lily slammed her balled fist down on top of the quaffle so that it free fell fifty feet towards the grass field. The adrenaline coursing through her body was making her cheeks warm and she looked up to see James looked impressed at her daring before diving for the quaffle. Ingrid was hot on his heels, not wanting the quaffle back in the hands of the boys.

"Go Ingrid!" Lily screamed, egging her friend on, "Don't let Potter get his grimy hands on it!"

"Got it!" Ingrid announced triumphantly, raising herself in the air with the quaffle high in the air.

Just in that moment, Drake Libsy shot a bludger in Ingrid's direction. Ingrid dodged out of the way but James swooped in from behind and took the quaffle during her forestalling. There were definitive groans from below in the stands as James swooped back around to the goal posts. Lily couldn't help grinning as James leveled himself in front of her. His goggles were fogging but she could imagine he way his hazel eyes fizzed with energy.

"What are you grinning at?" He baited.

"You." She goaded back, "We're going to win."

"Oh Evans, it's going to be my _pleasure_ to crush your dreams."

At first he flew left and Lily followed but then in the last second he switched the hand the quaffle was in. He aimed, fired, and the quaffle flew over her right shoulder before she could even blink. He cackled loudly and she laughed too despite the fact that he'd scored because he looked so pleased with himself. Lily made sure he saw her playful eye roll before she dove to get the quaffle.

In the end, the boy team won because the real Gryffindor seeker was a force to be trifled with. The girls didn't mind. In fact, even after Craig Rogers caught the snitch, the girls cheered and hugged each other in the air. Lily herself had only let two goals in and was pretty proud of herself and the other girls for only losing to the boys by seventy points.

"We almost won!" they chanted as the boys all watched them freak out over losing.

Boys and girls helped clean up the pitch after the fun game and put away the spare supplies. Lily hadn't had that much fun months and she was still beaming as they put broomsticks away. James ruffled Lily's hair as they finished stocking the quidditch shed.

"I never knew you were so competitive." He said energetically, "I thought you were going to _kill_ me when I scored that last goal."

Lily bantered back good-humoredly, "I kept most of your goals out."

He hip checked her impishly, "You've got some nice reflexes!"

"My sister and I used to play handball at the school playground." Lily confessed, "I wasn't that good at running but I was pretty good at catching the ball midflight."

"Hand ball?" he blinked owlishly.

Lily nodded and recalled James' slim knowledge of the muggle world, "Instead of dodging bludgers in the air you dodge balls while running through bases."

"My brother had his teeth knocked out during one of those games." Mary cut into the conversation; "Mum was so embarrassed when we had to take him to the dentist."

"What's a dentist?" James asked next.

Mary and Lily grinned at each other deliberately before Lily enlightened, "A tooth healer."

The group walked back to the castle together, all talking amongst themselves. James was now asking everything he could about dentists ( _but why do muggles need dentists?!_ ) and muggleborns were attempting to justify the tooth doctors. The only thing that pulled James from his captivation with muggle doctors was when Aaron Tivett brought up James' faulty fox dive and the two started arguing about who was the better flyer.

The sun was sitting low in the sky, threatening an early sunset. The days were growing shorter and Lily knew that this might be the last weekend they could all spend outside. Lily wrapped her arms around her two best friends as they walked back up to the castle. Mary's hair, normally in a braid, was down and blowing in the cold air. Marlene was nursing a growing bruise on her shoulder from a well-aimed bludger.

"My parents would kill me if they saw." Marlene grieved, pulling her sleeve down to look at the forming bruise, "My mother told me I wasn't allowed to play quidditch because I'd only get hurt."

"Didn't both of your brothers play for Gryffindor?" Lily asked Marlene.

Marlene looked upset at the mention of her two older brothers, "Of course, _they_ were allowed to do whatever they wanted because they're _boys_."

"The worst part about being the baby of the family," Lily confessed to Marlene, "Is that your parents _always_ treat you like a baby. My parents do the same with Petunia and I."

Marlene pursed her lips understandably, "Merlin knows if my parents were muggles they wouldn't have ever allowed me to go to Hogwarts. They're so overprotective."

Marlene had always been outspoken about her annoyance with her family. Marlene wasn't one to criticize her family all the time but occasionally little things set her off. Lily decided changing the subject was the best idea, before Marlene became too irritated. Whenever Lily was annoyed with her older sister Petunia, changing the topic always helped.

"Want to get dinner?" Lily asked, "I'm starving."

"I have plans." Mary answered quickly.

Mary had spoken so hastily that it took Lily a moment to register what the brunette had said. Marlene, however, was not one to miss anything. Mary had her face down, so Lily was unable to read her facial expressions.

"Plans?" Marlene leaned over Lily to gawk at Mary with intrigue, "What _kind_ of plans?"

Mary shrugged and rubbed elbows with Lily, "Nothing much, just meeting a friend from Muggle Studies."

"How is that class going?" Lily asked Mary.

"Sh. Lily, don't change the subject." Marlene and Lily exchanged a look, "What kind of friend? Boy? Or girl?"

"Just a friend." Mary sighed as soon as Marlene commenced pestering her, "God, Marlene."

"Marlene leave Mary alone." Lily told the nosy blonde, "You can be such a—"

"I just want to know who she's meeting!" Marlene pouted, "As her friend, I'm entitled to know!"

"He's a boy," Mary said and added quickly at Marlene's delight, "But we're _just_ friends."

"Touchy," Marlene clucked her tongue, "You and Lily should start a ' _Just Friends_ ' Club."

Now Lily and Mary were both glaring at Marlene.

"Ignore her Mary." Lily said haughtily to which Marlene hooted, "Marlene doesn't know how to be friends with anyone."

Marlene didn't seem irritated by Lily's tone, "You are going to end up an old spinster with eighty cats Lily Evans."

"I look forward to it." Lily said smugly.

"You say that but I don't believe it." Marlene disputed.

"Marley," Lily begged, "Can we _please_ focus on something other than boys?"

Marlene snorted and stared at Lily ambiguously, "What's better than boys?"

"Ice cream?" Mary offered.

"Quidditch?" Lily added.

"Puppies?"

Marlene looked irritated and crossed her arms. Mary and Lily talked about Muggle Studies and how wizards taught it so bizarrely. Lily and Mary could only talk for so long though because soon it was time for Mary to leave. Mary amazed all the girls when she stood up and brushed down her periwinkle robes. Marlene was halfway through her second helping of yams and looked up at their friend in confusion.

"Where you going?" she asked Mary.

Mary played with the edges of her braid, "I told you both that I have plans."

Mary waved before turning away from the table and that's when Marlene grabbed Lily's wrist, their quarrel from earlier forgotten, "Oh my god, _look_!"

Lily's eyes swept to where Marlene's finger pointed and her own mouth dropped open. Mary was walking up to a boy with red hair and glasses, waving sweetly as she approached. The boy looked so happy and he adjusted his Hufflepuff badge before motioning her to follow him. They left the hall together, unaware of the two Gryffindor girls in hysterics together at the end of the table.

"Who is _that_?" Lily asked Marlene in disbelief.

"Dunno." Marlene said, "I don't know many Hufflepuffs…they generally stick to themselves."

"He looks alright…" Lily couldn't finish her sentence without faltering for words.

"Mary seemed nervous." Marlene reiterated, "I wonder why she didn't want to introduce us."

"I know," Lily sighed, "But Mary's been weird ever since Mulciber attacked her."

Silence fell between Lily and Marlene as they remembered the effects that last year's attacks had on Mary. Mary wasn't the only student Mulciber had abused but she was the only one that they knew in Gryffindor. Lily picked at her food after that, not feeling hungry as she thought about Mary's issues that Mary herself never really spoke about.

When Mary returned to the common room later that night with a small smile, Lily and Marlene purposely said nothing except quick hellos as the brunette fell into her bed. Lily fell asleep listening to Mary's soft breathing, wondering what it would've been like if Mulciber had attacked her in the bathroom instead of Mary.

Monday morning hit Hogwarts with unwelcomed rain and thunder.

Lily glanced up at the front of the classroom where Professor Binns droned on and on about the History of Magic. History of Magic was as boring as Defense Against the Dark Arts. The class hadn't changed in the last seven years Lily had taken it. It was the only class taught by a ghost and he was a monotonous soul. For that reason, Lily and her friends always sat in the back of the class to exchange notes and play games.

Lily was plaiting Mary's hair, whispering back and forth about a Witch Weekly article, as Professor Binns went over ogre wars for the eighteenth time. Mary's hair had grown long over the summer, allowing Lily to fold the braids cleverly atop her head, into a sort of crown. By the time Lily was done plaiting Mary's hair, the other girls were begging her to do the same to theirs. If Binns noticed the hair braiding party in the back of the classroom he said nothing. By the end of the class Lily had effectively braided all the hair possible, including Sirius' long black tresses.

"How does he look better than half the girls in this class?" Marlene asked Lily and Mary as Sirius showed off his braid to James smugly.

"Blessed with great genetics." Ingrid spoke up from beside Mary.

"I dunno about great genetics." Sirius had overheard their conversation and quickly butted in, "The entire Black family is filled with inbreeding."

Lily wrinkled her nose while Mary asked hesitantly, "Inbreeding?"

"The purebloods find it better to marry cousins rather than marry anyone with questioning blood relatives." Sirius illuminated, "My own parents were cousins."

"Gross." Lily blanched.

"Isn't that illegal!" Mary looked appalled at the fact.

"You don't even know the half of it." James said from Sirius' side.

Sirius nodded, "I moved in with the Potter family to escape the insanity."

Lily furrowed her brow, glancing at James who was tugging on Sirius' braid, "Isn't the Potter family pureblooded?"

"Not the same way that the Black family is." Ingrid (also raised in the wizarding world) explained.

"What does it matter?" Lily asked coarsely, "Pureblood, muggle blood, we're all learning magic."

"It matters to the purebloods." Mary assumed bleakly.

Sirius answered, "Just the foolish ones."

Sirius' eyes shifted across the room to where a few Slytherin's sat like kings. The tone of the conversation had drifted south and the seventh year Gryffindor's quieted despite the general noise in the classroom growing. By the time the bell rang for dismissal everyone was ready to move on to the next class.

James and Lily walked to Advanced Potions together. James was yawning into his hand, eyes squeezing shut. Lily glanced sideways at James but said nothing as they walked; just assuming he was tired. Then he yawned three more times as they walked down the stairs.

"Tired?"

"Dead." He agreed as they entered the dark dungeons, "I was up late last night running paper drills with the team."

Quidditch.

Lily couldn't believe how much of an idiot she'd been. Somehow she'd totally forgotten that James was shuffling quidditch among his other extracurricular activities.

"We can change the rounds schedule." Lily instantaneously offered a compromise, "I can give you more of a break."

He yawned again, "I keep meaning to use my extra period to sleep but I'm honestly afraid if I pass out, I won't wake up." He laughed.

Lily furrowed her brow, "James," she said with concern, "You _need_ to sleep."

"I'll sleep when I'm dead." James countered haughtily but yawned again.

Lily stopped walking and he followed her actions, "I don't want you on patrols sleep walking."

"I don't want to bother everyone else." He complained, "I can keep my rounds."

Lily offered up a new alternative, "I've got a pretty good sleeping draught that could knock you out all night."

"Can't sleep tonight I'm afraid." James shrugged, "Remus asked for help with his…Magical Creature's homework."

"That'll take all night?" Lily asked in disbelief.

"He's bit off more than he could chew I'm afraid." James said cheerily as if happy with himself for helping Remus.

Lily sat in Potions and in Charm Theory wondering how she could get James to forget about his responsibilities and sleep instead. At the start of the year Mary had been worried James would use Lily to slack off but now Lily knew James was the opposite. He was running himself into the ground. Of course Lily knew that she'd never convince James to sleep but perhaps Remus could encourage James to at least find someone else to help with Magical Creature's homework. Lily intended to ask Remus at dinner but she regretfully found the Gryffindor table empty of any of James' friends.

Marlene noticed Lily's sour disposition right away, "What's got your panties in a bunch?"

Lily enlightened over her cool bowl of soup, "I was hoping one of James' mates would help me put him into a coma tonight."

Mary pulled a plate of mashed potatoes towards them as she spoke next, "What'd he do this time?"

"Nothing." Lily replied, glaring at bit at Mary, "It's for his own good."

"Lily, you've been threatening to put James in a coma for years," Mary licked her fork, "He probably doesn't believe you anymore when you threaten him."

"I'm serious." Lily rolled her eyes, "James told me he hasn't been sleeping and when I offered to give him a sleeping drought he told me that he had to spend all night working on homework with Remus."

"Remus wasn't in any of our classes today," Mary noted, "So he's got a lot to catch up on."

Lily's forehead wrinkled, "Remus was missing all day?"

"Sometimes you're really unobservant." Marlene commented with a grin.

Lily protested, "I notice some things! I noticed James looked tired!"

"We all look tired." Marlene counteracted, "It's Monday."

"He said he hasn't slept in days." Lily glowered at Marlene, "That's unhealthy."

"Winnie Westhouse said in her book _Magic in Love_ that the quickest way to get a man to sleep is to shag him senseless." Marlene waggled her eyebrows at Lily, "So if you're really concerned about James…"

"As tempting as that sounds." Lily said blandly, "James and I agreed we'd be an awful match."

"Bullocks." Marlene ate some of Mary's potatoes and said with a full mouth, "You're practically made for each other."

"People can't be made for each other." Mary scoffed at Marlene.

"You don't believe in true love?" Marlene asked Mary.

"Of course not." Mary looked offended at the thought, "What on Earth makes you think there is?"

Lily poked Marlene in the side and Mary giggled when Lily jested, "Come on Mary, we both know Marlene _thrives_ off her romance novels."

"Maybe." Marlene sniffed, "But I'm telling you Lily, with James' looks and your wit, your children would be clever _and_ have great hair."

Lily placed her hands on her face and she grinned, imagining little black haired children with green eyes running around her feet, "No, no, no." she giggled, pushing Mary who hummed happily at Lily's embarrassment, "Absolutely _not_ something I wanted to envision."

"Sorry." Marlene grinned without looking sorry at all.

"Change the subject." Lily uncovered her face, "For the love of God, change the subject!"

"When do we get to meet this mysterious Hufflepuff?" Marlene waggled her brows at Mary.

Mary stuck her chin in the air complacently, "Once I'm sure he's not a murderer."

Lily shook her chicken at Mary, "You're being ridiculous and he looks sweet."

Mary answered back, "I don't remember seeing him _ever_ in the seven years at this school, what if he's a dark wizard in disguise?"

Lily knew Mary's jests were partial joke and partial truth. After her encounter with Mulciber Mary had become incredibly withdrawn and untrustworthy of most boys. Lily knew whoever had caught her eyes in class must be something special. Mary wouldn't introduce Lily to him until she was positive about his intentions. Even still, Lily made it her mission this week to spy on Mary and figure out her mysterious admirer. At Lily's side, Marlene looked to be feeling the same as Lily.

"I'm certain that if he's a dark wizard," Lily told Mary after taking another bite of chicken, "He'd not be a Hufflepuff."

"He could've stolen the robes." Mary reasoned.

" _Mary_."

"You'll have to wait Lily," Mary said with a final tone, "God, you're being as nosy as Marlene."

"I'm rubbing off on her." Marlene slung an arm around Lily's shoulders proudly.

Lily and Mary went the rest of the night without talking about boys, even though it was Marlene's favorite subject. Mary and Ingrid set to painting Lily's nails as she read one of her favorite muggle books. The common room was empty by nine and everyone went to bed early. Lily blamed the full moon for sending everyone into lethargy after dinner.

The next morning everyone acted like there had been a raging party the night before. Lily hoped James got some sleep since he didn't show up to breakfast or the first class. He finally made an entrance in Defense Against the Dark Arts, appearing with Sirius and Peter two minutes before the bell rang. Lily took in his disheveled appearance with raised eyebrows. James' hair was normally a mess but today it stuck up so much it looked like he'd flown for hours in the icy air. Even Sirius' hair was pulled into a messy bun instead of the sleek ponytail he normally fashioned.

"Rough night doing homework?" Lily badgered James as he fell into the seat beside her.

James only grumbled and Lily rolled her eyes at his moody response. It was apparent that the boys were not morning people. Peter's head fell to his desk and was sleeping within seconds. Professor Pidge arrived right on time, his walking stick sliding against the floor as he entered the classroom. The students had long gotten used to his silence and simply continued whatever they'd brought with them instead of greeting the old man. Maria Merryweather read a book, Peter Pettigrew slept, James Potter stared at Professor Pidge in repulsion, and Lily colored lines on a piece of parchment.

It was a normal day in Defense Against the Dark Arts until the first piece of paper landed by her left hand. Lily glanced to her left and saw James motioning at the paper sleepily. Lily un-crumpled the parchment and stared at the familiar messy handwriting.

 _About that sleeping draught you offered yesterday, how long would it make me sleep?_

Lily smiled to herself and looked over at James to see he was patiently awaiting her answer.

 _There are two possibilities._

 _One: your body reacts positively to the draught and you sleep an average of ten hours without any side effects._

 _Two: your body completely accepts the draught and you go into a coma-like state for the entire day with the high likelihood of sleepwalking._

James wrote her back almost instantly.

 _Possibility number two sounds like my kind of adventure._

Lily covered her mouth to keep from laughing out loud and he slid another slip of paper onto her desk.

 _Coma's are not a laughing matter Evans._

Lily bust into laughter and tried to stifle them when when Pidge's cane knocked on the ground.

"Have something to share with the class?" Pidge demanded as everyone stared at her for her outburst.

Lily struggled to stop sniggering as she shamelessly asked, "Ever been in a potion induced coma, Professor?"

Nothing in the world could've prepared Lily for when, instead of scoffing, Professor Pidge said, "Of course girl, in the first war they used to slip potions into your drinks hoping to knock you out simply to kill you."

No one in the class knew what to do. Despite his scathing tone, Professor Pidge had never spoken directly about dealing with dark magic before. In fact, he'd never said any sentence without offending them before. Lily pushed back her hair and looked over at James for confirmation that she hadn't misheard Professor Pidge. She couldn't tell if James' eyes were wide from lack of sleep or astonishment.

Maria spoke up timidly, "Professor Pidge…uh…were you an Auror in the first war?"

Pidge was still, Lily thought he was overlooking Maria, "I was not," Pidge said, "Now, class dismissed."

Lily and her friends gathered their books; everyone casting nervous looks over at their quiet Professor. Sirius and James were muttering to each other in front of Lily as they followed the crowd out of the classroom. Lily peeked back to see Pidge just slouching in his chair. Pidge's blind eyes were zooming around the room. She had no idea how he'd become so bitter and empty but she had a feeling it was one Hell of a story.

"Do you think they poisoned him and that's how he went blind?" Tommy Coons whispered to his friends.

Sirius seemed pissed, "If he was so involved in the first war then why doesn't he want to help us learn how to defend ourselves against dark wizards in this war?"

"What if he _was_ a dark wizard?" James said pointedly.

"Dumbledore defeated Grindlewald." Lily argued for the sake of the old man, "he wouldn't turn around and hire Gindlewald's followers."

Marlene put in her two sickles, "Lily, I know you like to see the best in even the worst of people, but I think Pigeon is just an old fart arse."

James agreed, "How can we even trust that he's not just fucking with us?"

The boys had a point; Lily danced in the middle of the hallway for a second before turning back around towards the classroom.

"Evans!" James called after her but she didn't turn.

Instead Lily went back to the classroom finding Professor Pidge exactly there they'd left him. He was playing with the ends of his cane. Lily detested his eyes, so blank, as they skimmed around the empty classroom. Lily cleared her throat and his blank eyes turned her way.

"Who is it?" he asked gruffly.

"Lily Evans, sir." Lily said delicately.

"Class is dismissed Miss Evans." Professor Pidge slammed his walking stick against the ground, "Go join your friends and gossip in the hallway."

"I have a question."

"I said class is dismissed."

"You didn't want to answer any of my questions in class so I'm asking now."

Professor Pidge's face became stony, "It's a wonder Dumbledore ever let you be Head Girl since you clearly don't want to hold your tongue in front of your elders."

Lily crossed her arms but before she could say anything to defend herself a new voice joined the conversation.

"It's a wonder how Dumbledore let you become a teacher when you clearly don't want to teach."

Lily turned her cheek to see James standing with his arms across his chest behind her in the doorway. It was impressive that he was even able to sound so demeaning when he looked so exhausted. Up close, Lily could see the rings under James' eyes.

"I recognize that voice," Professor Pidge actually sounded amused, "Mr. Potter since you so like to critique my education, perhaps you'd like to teach the class?"

"I don't know how to fucking teach, that's your job, which you're horrible at."

Lily hissed at James but Professor Pidge actually snickered at James' brazenness.

"You've both got nerve." Lily thought for a moment he might be complimenting them but then Pidge stood up and leaned on his cane, "That will get you both killed the minute you step out of the protection of this school."

Then, without another word to either of them, he walked towards the doorway they stood in. Lily and James both stepped out of the way of his walking stick as Pidge made out to wack them with it. Pidge sniggered as he wobbled down the hallway away from the couple. Lily and James were quiet for a moment and then James sighed.

"Do you think he wakes up every morning and makes a hit list of students he'd love to poison?" James asked her.

Lily eyes James peculiarly, "I hope not."

"We'd be top of his list." James decided.

Lily shuffled a bit as she grinned at James appreciatively, "You didn't have to come back here with me."

James bobbed his head, "I figured you were going to start trouble and I wanted a part of it."

Lily brushed her red hair back from her forehead, "You do look for any excuse to start trouble."

His hazel eyes searched her green eyes for a moment before answering quite earnestly, "What's life without a little trouble?"

It was with those words and his little step forward that Lily comprehended how close they were to each other. They were standing in the middle of the doorway just staring at each other. The air around Lily was thick with potential and she felt like her lungs couldn't take the lack of oxygen. She bit her lip and gazed up at him, as petrified as if she was staring directly at a basilisk.

"You know," he crooned, "When you look at me like that it really makes me reconsider this whole _friends_ thing you say we have going on."

"You're only saying that because you want me to put you in a coma."

She took a step back into the side of the doorframe. He snickered at her jest, so appropriately aimed, and took another step towards her.

"Granted, I need the sleeping drought because I haven't slept in 48 hours." He yawned again as if to prove his point before saying charismatically, "But my need for your coma-inducing sleeping drought aside, you look positively _lovely_ today Evans."

"I bet you say that to all the girls offering to give you sleeping droughts." She tried keeping her tone light but it was impossible with him so close.

James licked the corner of his mouth, considering her words before shrugging, "Nope, just you."

Lily tilted her head at him with half a glare, "James, I have a question."

"I might have an answer."

"Do you fancy me?"

James' friendly face flickered darkly for a moment and then he flashed a smile across his face, "Why?" he inquired, "Do you fancy me?"

" _No_."

James yawned again, "Of course."

"That's not an answer James."

James quickly cut from his position towering over her and walked away, leaving the air considerably thinner once he'd left her particular bubble. Lily swallowed and wrapped her red hair around her fingers as he waved for her to follow. She took a deep breath, acknowledging that he'd taken her 'no' noticeably well. If he really fancied her, wouldn't he be crushed?

Then again, he was exhausted and clearly not thinking normally.

"Mind being late to lunch?" he asked, as if he hadn't just told her how lovely she was, "I wasn't kidding when I said I want to be put into a coma."

Lily jogged after him and answered doubtfully, "I don't think you'll slip into a coma James, don't worry."

"A coma would be welcoming." James vowed.

"Remus' homework must've been brutal." Lily commented, "He missed classes all day yesterday—and today."

"Remus' entire life is brutal." James replied quickly, "I swear he has the worst luck, he's been in the Hospital Wing with the stomach flu all night. That's why I didn't sleep."

Lily frowned as she slowed to a walk at James' side, "Is he okay?"

"He got released this morning." James assured her, "He's in the tower sleeping and I'll be joining him if you don't mind getting me the draught?"

Lily and James took to the stairs together, matching step for step. Gryffindor Tower was almost completely empty when they arrived together. James sat on the common room couch as Lily went to her dorm to grab the proper potion. By the time she made it back downstairs James was upside down on the couch, staring into the flames. Lily knelt on the floor next to him and waved the drought in his face. James sat upright immediately and snatched the potion from her, popping the cork off the top with his thumb.

"Don't take it all at— _shite_ James, no!"

But it was too late, James swallowed the entire vial in one go. He chuckled at her horrified expression and then his eyes started drooping radically. Lily pushed James back into the couch just in time for his eyes to clasp shut. A loud snore erupted from him as his head hit one of the woven pillows. Lily couldn't help chuckling as she maneuvered James to a more comfortable position so he wouldn't wake up with neck pain. He was so tall that his legs hung off one side of the couch.

He was going to have a definite hangover from the potion since he'd taken double the suggested amount, Lily had a feeling she'd never hear the end of it. Afraid to leave him alone comatose, Lily sat with James until one if his dorm mates appeared so she could get help to get him up to his actual bed. As Lily waited she read from her charms notes but an hour into waiting, she also studied his face.

James looked so peaceful as he slept; more like a man than the teen she normally saw when she looked his way. The way the dark scruff on his jawline glowed in the firelight made her recall the time he'd grown his first beard she she'd teased him endlessly. The adorable way he mumbled in his sleep made her smile into her papers because he was complaining about fritters.

When Sirius finally did appear and Lily waved him over, James' glasses were lopsided and he was snoring even louder. Sirius itched the back of his head in confusion. James was drooling out the side of his mouth and his chest rose and fell with each snore.

"What'd you do to him?" Sirius asked.

Lily said with a roll of her eyes before motioning to the potion bottle on the table, "He took twice the suggested dose for my sleeping draught."

"Merlin, that's why he was missing in class." Sirius snickered, "What a lucky bastard."

"He said specifically, multiple times, he wanted to be in a coma." Lily told Sirius.

"And you're sure he'll wake up in the morning?" Sirius chuckled as he pulled at James' limp hands.

"Not really?" Lily replied worryingly.

Instead of looking upset, Sirius smirked, "Oh, this prat is just asking for it then."

Lily didn't like the gleam in Sirius' eyes, "Asking for what?"

Sirius considered her for a moment, "Do you have a makeup kit, Evans?"

"Yes?" Lily replied offhandedly, "Why?"

"Mind if I borrow it?"

Lily blinked at Sirius, who as grinning like Christmas had come early.

She asked sarcastically, "You want to put my make up on his face while he's in a coma?"

"Yes." Sirius clasped his hands together, "I might never get the chance to do this ever again, _please_ Evans?!"

"Sirius he'll never trust me with Potions again." Lily shook her head but with Sirius' added plea she exhaled, "Alright, who am I to deprive you of this?"

The next hour Lily and Sirius spent bonding over James' face. Lily had not only taken her makeup bag but Mary and Ingrid's as well. Marlene joined them for the tail end of Sirius' prank, offering to paint James' nails. By dinnertime they had turned James Potter into Jamie Potter, the awkwardly adorable twin sister of James Potter. Sirius had put as much eye shadow on James' eyelids as possible and Lily had a little too much fun with Ingrid's bright red lipstick. Marlene even alternated the colors on James' fingernails between vivid pink and a pretty green.

They trio admired their work as James lay on the couch snoring.

"She's so beautiful." Marlene sniggered.

Sirius nudged Lily in the shoulder, "Evans if you had to go on a date with Jamie or the Giant Squid—"

"Jamie Potter." Lily giggled into her hand, "The Giant Squid could never pull off sparkly purple eye shadow like Jamie."

A new voice chimed in with confusion, "Why is James knocked out and wearing half of Witch Weekly's makeup haul?"

Lily, Marlene, and Sirius turned to examine pallid Remus, who stared at James' motionless form with great perplexity. Lily and Marlene snickered and shrugged, unable to explain their silliness. Sirius seemed overjoyed to see Remus out of bed and threw an arm around sickly Remus.

"Evans did us all a favor and put James in a coma."

Lily quickly defended herself; "James put _himself_ in the coma."

"You are the one who gave him the sleeping draught." Marlene sanctioned and Lily shot her best friend a glare.

"Thanks Marlene."

Remus rubbed his eyes slowly and took a closer look at James, "I think he could've used a bit more of the sparkly eye shadow."

"Just what I was thinking Moony—"

Lily grabbed the make up before Remus could egg Sirius into more makeover fun, "Goodnight boys."

"Evans!" Sirius protested, "Don't take the fun away."

"I'm going to bed." Lily told Sirius, waving as she wrapped her arm around Marlene and dragged her away from the troublemakers, "We've caused enough hullabaloo today."

"The world needs more hullabaloo!" Sirius called after the girls and they smirked at each other as they climbed the staircase.

"Do you think James'll be mad when he wakes up?" Marlene asked Lily as they got into their nightgowns for bed.

"I'm just wondering how long it'll take him to notice." Lily confessed as she climbed into bed.

"With any hope, he won't notice until after breakfast."

The girls fell asleep laughing as they imagined poor James' face the next morning when he fully grasped what his friends had done to him.

* * *

 **Next time:**

"Pretty sure he _has_ been telling you." Marlene coughed, "Since he kissed you."

"And flirts with you constantly." Ingrid added.

Lily glared at her friends, "Well, what should I do about it?"

"Snog him?" Marlene suggested.

"Talk to him?" Ingrid said pointedly.

"All of those options sound improbable."


	5. Girls Chase Boy Chase Girls

_Chapter 5:_

 _You played me and I played you too_

 _Let's just call it over_

 _Girls chase boys chase girls_

"Marlene." Lily sang happily, falling into Marlene's bed, "It's time for breakfast! We need to see if James woke up from his coma!"

Lily waved her wand so that the curtains over Marlene's four-poster were forced open. Sunlight fell across Marlene's purple sheets and over her pale face. Marlene, who was not a morning person, grabbed her spare pillow and pulled it over her face. Lily giggled and yanked the frilly pillow from Marlene's face. Marlene opened one cloudy blue eye in response to Lily's pestering.

"Let me sleep Lily." Marlene requested mid yawn, "I was out late last night."

"You went to bed the same time as me." Lily protested, "Up!"

Lily wiggled her backside against the mattress, causing it to shake and wake Marlene quickly. Marlene aimed one foot and kicked out at Lily, only to miss. Marlene grabbed her covers and yanked them up to her chin.

"I couldn't sleep and went back downstairs." Marlene's voice was cracking from sleep deprivation.

"It's true." Ingrid informed Lily from her own bed where she was putting on her black pumps, "I heard Marley stumble in last night around midnight."

Marlene moaned and covered her face with her hands, "I _wasn't_ stumbling." She argued, "Someone left their slippers by the door!"

"My bad." Susan (the only girl fully dressed) spoke beside Ingrid, "I left them by the door."

Lily nudged Marlene's shoulder, " _Why_ were you out past curfew?"

Marlene uncovered her face to stare at Lily with humiliation in her eyes. Lily raised an eyebrow, wondering what on earth Marlene had done to possibly be embarrassed. The two words she uttered next made all the girls in the room stop what they were doing.

"Aaron Tivett."

"Oh, Marlene." Lily covered her mouth in dread, "You didn't."

"I did!" Marlene threw her head against her pillow, "We were just talking in the common room after some gobblestones and then—"

"Stop!" Ingrid begged, "I want to go my entire life without ever having to hear about you and Aaron ever again."

They all knew about Ingrid and Aaron's tragic fallout in fifth year. Marlene looked like someone had told her that her grandfather died. Susan looked a little sick. It was while gauging everyone's reactions that Lily noticed the curtains to Mary's bed were open but there was no Mary. Lily shoved Marlene one more time before standing up.

"Put me into a coma!" Marlene begged.

"Out of bed Marlene, you can sleep this weekend."

Marlene shouted after her, "How come you'll willingly put James Potter into a coma but I can't sleep in?"

"James wasn't sleeping because he was being a good Head Boy." Lily reasoned, "You weren't sleeping because you were shagging the biggest idiot in Gryffindor house."

Marlene said quickly and firmly, "We didn't shag..." and then her eyes started at her sheets, " _per say_."

Lily rolled her eyes as Ingrid demanded Marlene to tell her if Aaron had a tattoo on his chest. Lily walked over to the door that didn't lead out into the rest of the dormitory. There were no shower sounds coming from inside. Lily knocked on the loo door.

"Mary?" she called.

There was no answer. Lily frowned and crossed her arms, leaning up against the door as she tried to reason why Mary would be up so early. Breakfast had only started twenty minutes before and they had forty five minutes before classes started.

Ingrid noticed Lily's worried face and said, "Mary left early for breakfast."

Marlene pulled her covers off quickly, as if jolted awake by Ingrid's words, "Wait, Mary left for breakfast without us?"

Susan raised an eyebrow as Marlene pulled on her school skirt and top in seconds, "Is that a problem?"

"Yes!" Marlene demanded as the other girls watched her get ready hastily, "She's probably sitting with Mystery Man and _we're_ missing out on prime spy time!"

"Mystery Man?" Ingrid looked puzzled.

"Some Hufflepuff Mary's been talking too." Lily enlightened Marlene's sudden energy, "Marlene is obsessed with finding out who he is."

"When was the last time Mary showed any interest in any guy?" Marlene pointed out, "This is huge."

Lily admitted, "Well, yeah, but she doesn't want it to be a big thing."

"Too late." Marlene winked, "I'm going to go total spy mode and find out about this bloke."

The girls argued about Mary's new beau all the way down to the Great Hall. Nothing could break their concentration, not even when a Ravenclaw couple started yelling in the middle of the Entrance Hall. Lily only glanced at them, wondering if she should shut them up. Marlene was the first one to spot Mary at the Hufflepuff table when the girls entered the Great Hall. She was with the same red haired boy they'd seen before and they were talking quietly to each other, offering little smiles every few seconds.

"Who is he?" Marlene questioned as she settled into a seat at the end of the Gryffindor table.

"That kid?" Ingrid had spotted Mary with the redhead, "His name is Reg Cattermole." Ingrid gossiped to the girls, "I've seen him and Mary talk after Muggle Studies."

Even though Lily didn't typically condone Ingrid's gossiping, she had to know more, "What year is he?"

"Sixth year." Susan answered for Ingrid, "He's kinda a loner."

Ingrid stressed tightly, "Mary could do better."

"I'm happy for her." Lily decided as she pulled a piece of waffle onto her plate, "Mary deserves a good guy."

"When do you think she'll introduce us?" Marlene wasn't eating; she was too busy keeping her eyes trained on Mary.

"Evans!"

Someone called her name loudly in her right ear and Lily jumped half an inch. Lily swallowed her food and turned in her seat to look behind her. Eric Tiz was standing with his arms full of books grinning at Lily like she was the greatest thing since sliced bread. The fifth year Gryffindor was wearing his school robes freshly pressed and had his Prefect pin glowing on his lapel. Lily brushed her red hair behind her ear as she considered Tizzie with a perplexed expression.

"Tizzie," Lily tried not to sound startled, "What's up?"

"A few of the fifth years and I were talking about Defense Against the Dark Arts." Tiz announced, puffing out his chest as if proud he was messenger for the other fifth years, "We haven't been learning much and we were wondering if you knew anyone who could teach us some things for the OWLs."

Lily shot a glance at the teacher's table, noting that Pidge was too busy talking to Dumbledore to notice the students talking about him feet away. Lily was surprised to even see Professor Dumbledore, since he was always away on business. Pigeon was wearing the same old traveling cloak he always wore—like he was just waiting for the chance to jump up and run out of Hogwarts. Lily looked back at Eric and scowled, hating that the younger students had to deal with such a shitty teacher.

"Ah," Lily itched her forehead, "Tizzie, have you spoken to Pigeon yourself?"

Eric's face flushed red, "Er, well, no." he admitted, "We all heard he shouted at you and James Potter so—"

Of course it had gotten around about the many arguments that Lily and James had with Professor Pidge. Hogwarts was full of gossips and little birds, always spreading news quicker than wildfire. Lily sighed and placed her fork down.

"He didn't shout." Lily comforted Tiz.

"He definitely didn't give them flowers and cupcakes either." Marlene snorted beside Lily so that Lily shot her a warning glare.

Lily didn't need Marlene making the younger students fearing Professor Pidge anymore than normal. Professor Pidge actually looked to be relatively pleasant this morning. His scowl was only present when he wasn't talking to Professor Dumbledore. An improvement from his normal stony complexion, Lily wondered if she could use this rare moment to get Professor Pidge to agree to at least help the younger students with OWLs preparation.

Lily assured Eric best she could, "Don't worry Tiz, I'll—uh—I've got this."

Everyone within hearing vicinity watched as Lily stood up without excusing herself.

She brushed down her robes, straightened her Head Girl pin, and walked over to the teacher table. Dumbledore looked up at the sound of her footsteps against the floor whilst Professor Pidge continued staring at his plate filled with over easy eggs and toast.

"Good morning." Lily said insincerely.

Lily didn't know if she imagined Professor Pidge wince but she was certain she saw a flicker of something cross his face. Lily squared her shoulders, prepared to fight.

"Miss Evans." Headmaster Dumbledore had a kind face with great big blue eyes framed by a white beard, "Good morning. What brings you to the teachers table so early?"

"I was hoping to speak to Professor Pidge about Defense." Lily said, keeping her eyes trained on the blind Professor, "If you aren't too busy."

"Of course not." Headmaster Dumbledore looked pleased and touched Pigeon's shoulder, "Peter, doesn't mind."

Pigeon grunted and his fork clattered loudly against his plate. Lily wasn't going to let his bristly attitude deter her.

"A few of the students and I were wondering about our next lesson." Lily started, only to be cut off by Pidge.

"I'll announce it in class, girl."

"Peter." Dumbledore raised an eyebrow at the old man, "Certainly you know Lily, our Head Girl?"

Lily was rewarded when she saw a feint blush on Pigeon's face, "Oh, we're well acquainted Headmaster." Lily said coolly, "Aren't we Professor?"

"Aye." Pidge muttered, knocking his plate a bit as he felt for his wine cup, " _Quite_ acquainted."

"The fifth years are worried they aren't learning enough for OWLs." Lily stated firmly, "They asked me to talk to you."

"Professor Pidge, the younger students are complaining they aren't learning enough for OWLs in your class." Lily said sharply

Despite Lily's tone being quite rude towards a Professor, she didn't feel bad even when Dumbledore sent her a surprised look. Lily crossed her arms to show her annoyance to Dumbledore, even if Pigeon couldn't see it. Pigeon sniffed his wine.

Headmaster Dumbledore folded his hands on top of the table, "Peter has years of experience in Defense Against the Dark Arts Lily."

"The students don't feel like they are learning anything from his lesson plans." Lily replied.

Dumbledore mediated since Professor Pidge was mute, "Why do you think the younger students aren't processing his lessons?"

Lily stared down the blind Professor threateningly, "Perhaps he isn't providing enough information?"

Pidge actually looked up at Lily, or his eyes at least stared at her when he said vigorously, "You're a persistent little thing, aren't you?"

"Thanks." Lily took Pigeon's words as a compliment, straightening her shoulders.

Headmaster Dumbledore laughed at the pair, seemingly enjoying the stare down, "Peter, if the students are complaining then perhaps we ought to go over some lesson plans together for next week, we certainly don't want the School Board to get involved if the fifth years are worried about OWLs."

Professor Pidge looked as if that was the last thing on earth he wanted to do.

"Lily is doing wonderfully our Head Girl." Dumbledore continued, as if not noticing the tension between the two, "How are you liking the position, Lily?"

Lily raised her eyebrows at Pidge who acted as though he couldn't hear Dumbledore before assessing the Headmaster, "It's not too bad." She quipped loudly so Pidge had to hear her, "James and I have been dealing with a minor problem the last few weeks."

"Glad to hear you and Mr. Potter are working well together." Dumbledore raised his wine glass at Lily, "I knew you two were a match made in heaven."

Lily couldn't help flushing at Dumbledore's choice words, "Ah, I dunno about that. We're quite different, James and I."

"You seem very similar to me," Pidge said with a cough, "Both of you certainly like to get the last word."

Lily smirked triumphantly. Lily only wished Pidge wasn't blind so he could see her snarky wave and walk away from the table. In all reality Lily felt like screaming with joy. She'd successfully cornered Professor Pidge and now Dumbledore was going to _have_ to force him to at least teach the younger kids.

When Lily sat back down at the Gryffindor table, Marlene saw Lily's satisfied smirk and shook her head with a knowing smile. Lily sat in her own bliss, completely happy that for once; Pidge had not gotten the best of her.

"Professor Pidge will have to teach now if Professor Dumbledore is going to pick lesson plans." Lily said, taking a bite of her now breakfast.

"Pigeon made Ally Cyrus cry last week when she asked to go to the bathroom." Marlene played with her eggs, "What makes you think he still won't be a dick?"

"Oh he'll always be an arse." Lily replied cheerily, "I don't think that'll ever change."

" _Morning ladies!_ " an overly cheerly male voice interrupted.

Someone slide in-between Lily and Marlene, wrapping his long arms around the both of them. Lily caught sight of his messy black hair and beamed.

"James!" she said excitedly, "Coma-free I see!"

James pinched her shoulder; "I just want to thank the both of you for my makeover last night when I was _defenseless_."

"Hey, Mr. Defensless," Marlene poked James' fingernails, "You forgot to erase the nail polish."

Indeed, James' fingernails were still alternating colors. Marlene snorted into eggs and Lily laughed into her coffee cup. James unwrapped his arms around the girls so he could extend his arms out, showing off his fingernails. Then James laughed before wrapping an arm around Lily singularly and she turned her green eyes on him. She imagined that if she squinted, James still had a bit of eyeliner on. Lily put her coffee cup down.

"I've got a good charm aiding makeup removal for that excess eyeshadow too." She teased him.

"I've got a bigger fish to fry with you than my eyeliner."

"I'm just impressed you know what eyeliner _is_." Lily laughed again when he narrowed his eyes at her.

"Listen Evans, I asked Sirius if I sleepwalked at all on your sleeping draught and I'm disappointed to say I didn't sleepwalk _once_."

"You did snore." Lily offered in compromise.

"I don't snore." James scoffed, grabbing a plate of bacon as Lily and Marlene glared at him doubtfully.

"Potter, you snore like a dragon." Marlene warned and both girls grinned.

"I can't snore."

"You're such a liar." Lily mocked as James stuffed a handful of bacon in his mouth.

"And a pig." Marlene sneered as a piece of bacon dropped from James' mouth as he chewed and simultaneously grabbed a piece of toast.

"I don't mind being called a pig." he admitted after swallowing the bacon pointedly, "Pig is _quite_ delicious."

"Ew." Lily pretended to be grossed out as James swallowed his toast in two bites.

"You still prefer me over the Giant Squid." James nudged Lily, "Sirius told me you said so."

Lily had no viable comeback and instead hummed noncommittally.

"Are you already done eating?" Marlene asked as James stood up suddenly.

"Yup." He said, "I'm incredibly late for a meeting with Professor McGonagall. Ta, ladies."

Lily and Marlene leaned towards each other as James walked out of the Great Hall eating another piece of toast. They were both giggling as he turned slowly back at them, offering an overly dramatic wink as he pointed right at Lily. Lily could see the egotistical smirk on his stupid face as he turned back around.

"Oh Merlin," Ingrid whispered suddenly from the other side of the table, "he's got it bad for you."

"I dunno." Lily said, glancing over at Ingrid, "I asked James if he fancied me and I never exactly got an answer."

Marlene shrugged, playing with her eggs again, "I mean, he _did_ initiate the kiss at the bonfire."

Lily mouth dropped open as Marlene stared at her plate, knowing Lily was working through a roller coaster of emotions. Firstly, Lily was figuring out how Marlene could possibly know about the bonfire incident. Secondly, why had Marlene never brought the fact that she knew about the kiss? Ingrid and Susan stared at both Lily and Marlene as they also processed Marlene's words. Lily was certain they looked barmier than she felt. Lily's heart felt like it had jumped into her throat.

"How'd you know about that?" Lily demanded in undertones to Marlene as Ingrid and Susan leaned closer for details.

Marlene shrugged; "I heard Peter and James talking about it in the Library last week."

Lily's cheeks flamed. Peter had been talking to James about it? Lily thought James had told her that none of his friends knew.

Ingrid glanced back and forth between Lily and Marlene before she said with confusion evident in her voice, "Lily I thought you said you and James were just friends?"

"We are." Lily said seriously, "He kissed me at the bonfire and I—"

"Kissed him back keenly," Marlene sent Lily a pointed look when Lily's mouth clamped shut, "According to Peter, who was the only one of James' mates that apparently witnessed the whole thing go down."

"How did _we_ not notice?" Ingrid seemed upset at missing a highly juicy piece of gossip, "I mean we were all there!"

"It was like a three second peck on the lips." Lily objected quickly to bring down Ingrid from her gossip high, "Of _course_ no one noticed."

"Peter did." Marlene observed.

Lily sniffed, "Well Peter should mind his own business."

"James is the one who brought it up you ninny." Marlene rolled her eyes.

"Of course he brought it up." Ingrid snorted, "I'm suprised he's not yelling it from the bloody Astronomy Tower. Everyone knows he has fancied her something awful for ages."

"You're joking." Lily blanched at Ingrid's words; "James has not fancied me for _ages_."

"He's been ready for a decent snog with you since second year." Marlene agreed with Ingrid, "Come on Lily, haven't you noticed?"

Lily groaned and fell back dramatically against Marlene's hold, "Someone tell me why relationships and dating aren't covered at Hogwarts."

"You really didn't realize James fancied you?" Susan asked firmly, not believing Lily's aggravation in the slightest.

Lily shook her head, "He would have told me when I asked him, wouldn't he?"

"Pretty sure he _has_ been telling you." Marlene uttered.

"What?" Lily demanded, "When?"

"When he kissed you?" Marlene knocked her fist against Lily's forehead and Lily frowned deeply.

"And flirts with you constantly." Ingrid added, Susan nodding ardently next to her.

Lily stared at her hands a moment and then asked, "Well, what should I do about it?"

"Snog him?" Marlene suggested with a flirtatious eyebrow raise.

"Talk to him?" Ingrid thought and exchanged a look with Susan.

"Snog him _and_ talk to him?" Susan suggested next, uselessly.

"All of those options sound improbable." Lily warned and all the girls rolled their eyes at her.

"What's improbable?" Mary had returned to the Gryffindor table and sat down inbetween Lily and Marlene, a pretty little smile on her face.

"Snogging James Potter apparently." Marlene clicked her tongue in disapproval.

"Or talking to him." Ingrid added with a roll of her icy eyes.

"I've tried both of those things enough already." Lily reminded the girls.

"There is _never_ enough snogging." Marlene urged.

"If I snog him again I'm going to be in trouble." Lily testified with a firm placement of her fist on the breakfast table.

"Why?" Marlene pushed, like she always did, "Because you fancy him back?"

"Because he's James." Lily felt like screaming but her voice stayed level, "And I'm Lily."

"And?" Ingrid looked bored with Lily's excuses, "You two would be cute together."

"If Lily liked James she'd have made a move ages ago." Mary offered her two cents.

"She did." Marlene filled Mary in on the gossip, "She kissed him at the bonfire."

Somehow Mary turning to face Lily with a look of disbelief only embarrassed Lily and she covered her face to hide the red creeping on her cheeks. All the girls around laughed at Lily's embarrassment and Ingrid had a gall to say that Lily definitely liked James more than she'd ever be willing to admit. Lily had to take a deep breath so she wouldn't yell at Ingrid to keep her opinions to herself.

"How's that Hufflepuff friend of yours that you refuse to introduce me too?" Marlene turned her pestering to Mary next since Lily was mourning, always up to her ears in trouble.

"You'll meet him…" Mary said, "He's coming with me to Hogsmede next weekend."

"What!"

Even Lily uncovered her face so she could grab Mary's arm excitedly as squealed. Mary flushed but nodded as Lily and Marlene hugged Mary over and over with joy. Lily's problem with James was forgotten as everyone talked with Mary about what she was planning on wearing on her date (to which Mary was assuring them it wasn't a date). Lily kept James on the back of her mind the rest of the day.

She wondered what would happen if she confronted James again about his feelings. She wondered what she would do if he confronted her about her own feelings.

Classes went by slowly or a Wednesday. The only class Lily was even partially awake for was Potions because Professor Slughorn was talking to her about Slug Club's Halloween Party. Lily was assuring Professor Slughorn that she'd invited allt he Head of Houses already. He was worried that Professor Dumbledore wouldn't show and Lily had to promise that she'd see to attendance herself.

James listened with little interest; he was busy stirring their calming drought. Lily knew he was no fan of Slug Club—preferring to spend his days outside the realm of Slughorn's favorite. James was the only student in Advanced Potions who wasn't a member of the Slug Club. James only spoke after Slughorn had moved on to Severus and Abby's cauldron where the potion was boiling over furtively.

"Does Slughorn require all his students to plan his parties?" James asked as she worked on cutting their poppies.

"No." Lily admitted as she crushed the middle of the poppies, "I'm just the one he trusts with that sort of thing I guess."

"So his Halloween party is the same weekend as Hogsmede?" he remarked casually as he stirred their potion, "That's got you all booked up, doesn't it?"

"The Halloween party is the night after Hogsmede." Lily told James, "So thankfully I can go to both."

"Good."

"Good?" Lily paused in her poppy annihilating to glance up at him.

James grinned down at their bubbling potion, "I was hoping to see you at the three broomsticks and buy you a drink."

They were quiet again as James was stirring and she was writing down the steps they'd taken. Their elbows kept brushing as they cleaned up their desk. Lily had never felt so cramped at their shared desk before. All she wanted to do was asked him if he still fancied her like everyone said. All she wanted to do was tell him to stop blushing every time their fingers brushed against each other.

Instead she turned the conversation back on, always more comfortable when they talked, "Did you finish the November rounds schedule?"

"I almost forgot." He muttered as they bottled their brew, "Mind helping me with the rounds schedule tonight? It's my first time writing one."

"Of course." Lily replied as she placed tops on the bottles, "I need to go to the library for charms, want to just do it there with me?"

James bit his lip, thinking, before replying, "What time?"

Lily shrugged as she turned off the cauldron burner, "Whenever you like."

James sighed and adjusted his glasses, "I should be done Quidditch practice around seven thirty?"

He looked worried that she'd say she was busy until she replied shortly, "Sure."

"It's a date."

He walked her all the way back to the main castle hallways after potions. They didn't talk but when he said goodbye it was painfully awkward because it looked like there was something he wanted to say. Lily was just struggling to read his expressions but James Potter was not an easy one to read.

Lily told Marlene and Mary of their conversation in Advanced Charms, seeking advice from her two best mates.

"I didn't know what to say when he offered to buy me a drink." She confessed, "So I just stared at him and made it super awkward."

"I mean, what did you want to say?" Mary asked in a low voice as she wrote down the proper wand movements for household charms.

"I mean how bad could one drink with him be?" Lily went on, "But the moment he hinted at it I froze like a deer in the headlights!"

The muggle saying went right over Marlene, who hissed back as the girls practiced their wand waving, "James has been hinting he fancies you for _weeks_ Lily, what's got you so back and forth about him?"

"What if he's just—" Lily paused, "I dunno, what if he dates me and realizes how boring I am?"

"I feel like he wouldn't get bored _that_ fast." Marlene countered, "You can see he thinks you bloody amazing just by the way he looks at you even when you're just sitting at breakfast."

Lily snorted, in denial, "How does he look at me?"

"All staring aside," Mary cut into the conversation with her own two cents, "You really should talk to James and put him in his place if you don't like him."

"Put him in his place?" Lily hesitated, confounded.

Mary nodded, "Tell him you just want to be friends." Mary licked her lips, "We all know he's not very mature or very nice when he doesn't get his way. You need to tell him before it gets out of control."

"Mary he's not bloody in love with Lily," Marlene protested Mary's opinionated monologue, "He just wants to take her out after she kissed him. Even immature boys need a pretty girl to make them feel like they're decent men."

"He's not entirely immature." Lily found herself defending James, "He's a great Head Boy and he's a git, yeah, but _normally_ only when the reason is right."

"He hexed Bertram Aubrey's head to twice its size last year." Mary looked doubtful at Lily's praises, "Reg said it took a whole two days for the swelling to go down."

"Didn't Aubrey threaten to hex Black for sleeping with his girlfriend?" Marlene recalled the event.

Lily vaguely remembered hearing something similar. Apparently Aubrey had approached Sirius in the hallways after class and the pair had a scuffle that ended up with Aubrey in the Hospital Wing after one of them (James or Sirius) had used an illegal hex. Lily sighed as she recalled James being banned from the first Quidditch match of the season because of that incident.

"I said normally." Lily commented offhandedly, "Nobody's perfect."

"Potter certainly is far from it." Mary sniffed.

Lily, annoyed with Mary, commented sourly, "We all know you can't stand him Mary, don't worry."

Mary huffed, "I just hate that everyone see's him as some sort of—Gryffindor hero."

"Careful," Lily warned, "You're starting to sound like Severus Snape."

"I don't hate James." Mary quickly stated, not liking being compared to Snape, "I just think he considers himself pretty highly just because he can duel anyone and live to tell the tale."

Lily knew Mary was right, James was cocky when it came to dueling and quidditch and admiration. At the same time James was fiercely loyal, funny, and a good sport when his friends knocked him out and made him up.

Nobody was perfect, James Potter especially. Even still, the thought of the popular Gryffindor boy picturing her as something other than his friend made Lily wonder what could happen if they did date. Lily was nervous because she didn't know _what_ she wanted from her relationship James.

She had all afternoon to consider her thoughts. She didn't see James until much later. Lily had only just returned to the Gryffindor common room after dinner with her friends when James Potter strutted down the boys' staircase with a cauldron cake in hand. Sirius was right behind him, carrying a magazine. James' hazel eyes searched the common room and found Lily within seconds standing with her mates by the girls' staircase. Their eyes met and she found herself beaming as she waved at him from across the room.

Before Lily could speak to either of the men coming down the boy's staircase, Eric Tiz appeared, jumping in front of Lily's vision, "Hey Evans!"

Lily jumped back in surprise at Tizzie's overenthusiasm, "Oh, Tiz, _Merlin_ you scared me."

"Thanks for talking to Pigeon." Tizzie said thankfully, "It was really sweet of you to stick up for us younger classmen."

"No problem Tiz," Lily said cheerfully, "It's all apart of being Head Girl."

"So I was wondering." Tiz suddenly flushed and stared at his feet, "I—uh—got some extra time in Hogsmede over the weekend, want to join me?"

Marlene pushed Ingrid and Susan, all three girls turning away to hide their smirks as Lily stood there in total embarrassment. Tiz looked at her so hopeful, it was pathetic. Lily's mouth opened and closed like a fish gasping for air as she wondered how to turn down Tiz politely.

"Evans!" as if sent by the wizard Gods, James suddenly appeared, throwing am arm over her shoulders, "Ready for our date?"

And Lily almost hit James as Eric's face fell momentarily, his poor fifth year heart crushed by the cooler more popular boy sweeping in on his moment of glory. Lily closed her eyes and counted to five before opening them again, focusing on Tiz. Before she could assure Tiz that she was in no way dating James, Sirius spoke up from behind them.

"James had been calling it a date for the past three hours Evans, don't crush his hopes and dreams, I beg you."

Lily stepped out of James' embrace and put a hand on Eric's shoulder, "Gee, Tiz, that's super sweet but I've already got plans with my friends."

Tizzie looked better after her reply, "Ok."

"Great." Lily said happily, glad for the embarrassment to be over.

That is, until Tizzie continued his mission to make Lily turn as red as a tomato.

"I hope when I get Head Boy like James," Tizzie yearned, "That I get a Head Girl as beautiful and as cool as you."

Lily flushed even more with embarrassment as Tizzie bounced away to the boy's staircase. James chewed the remainder of his cauldron cake, looking quite bemused by the scene that played out before him. Lily placed a hand on her forehead and shook her head, still in shock and unable to look at anyone. Sirius, however, swooned dramatically and pushed in between Lily and James.

"Lily you are so beautiful and cool and I want to marry you." Sirius sang, teasing Lily as everyone in the general vicinity laughed at Lily's clear embarrassment.

"Merlin, he's-." Lily muttered with half a laugh of her own as she caught Marlene's laughing eyes.

"Adorable." Marlene looked gleeful; "I wish you could've seen your face when he called you beautiful."

James shoved his hands into his pockets, "I thought _I_ was smooth at fifteen but Tizzie just one-upped me."

Lily shoved James sensitively saying, "He only flirts with me because he's so determined to be like you."

James feigned shock, "Are you suggesting," he sputtered dramatically, "That I, James Potter, _flirt_ with you?"

Everyone watching burst into laughter at Lily's stone cold face but when James wrapped an arm around her like a fool and pressed her face into his chest, Lily couldn't hold back her smile. She quickly wiped the smile from her face when he pulled away from her. Sirius reached out to ruffle James' hair playfully before saluting Lily.

"Keep him out of trouble," Sirius requested, "I'm off to dinner."

"We're going to the library." Lily told Sirius, "Feel free to join us after dinner."

"Feel free to _not_ join us." James beseeched Sirius with a wink.

Sirius barked a laugh as he left the portrait hole, leaving Lily with a bemused Marlene and too-close-for-comfort James.

"As much fun as the library sounds," Marlene said when Lily sent her best _help-me_ face, "Mary and Ingrid are waiting for me upstairs."

"Thanks." Lily interjected emotionlessly.

"I'm here for you Lily." Marlene directed her next comment at James, "So sorry to leave you alone with her."

"She's disgusting, I can hardly stand her." James also scoffed, albeit less convincingly since his arms were still around Lily's shoulders.

Marlene noted, "The feelings mutual I'm sure."

James sighed lightheartedly, "And here I thought she loved me."

"You're messing up my hair." Lily complained when James' arms ruffled her hair hanging about her shoulders.

"It'll look better after a quick snog— _ugh_. Fuck it, Evans, _I was joking._ "

Lily elbowed him in the stomach.

"You were _not_ , James."

Marlene sent a long hard look at Lily before leaving her alone with James, "See you later kids."

"Our friends are the worst." Lily looked up at James with a frown and he laughed into her hair at her sour tone.

"Let's go Head Girl," he unwrapped his arms from around her and then grabbed her arm, pulling her towards the door, "You've got to teach me how to make a rounds schedule."

"You'll be able to do it no problem," Lily remarked, "It's similar to making Quidditch plays. You'll love it."

"Good, if it's as easy as Quidditch that gives me more time with you."

"Time for what?" Lily probed as they entered the glowing Hallways outside the Gryffindor common room.

"To talk to you about something other than Prefect rounds." James flashed her a toothy grin as he pulled her along.

"But Prefects are so _fun_ to talk about." She said, "I mean, let's talk about the fact that Tizzie just asked me out."

"You weren't going to say yes." James said, almost as if convincing himself.

Lily allowed James to tug her for about another minute before she hopped ahead of him on the staircase, skipping stairs like a kid. Her skirt twirled with her as she twirled and danced in front of him contentedly. He followed behind slowly, one hand o the bannister, his other shoved in his pocket. Lily shot a glance back every once in a while to make sure he was following.

"What's got you in such a good mood?" he finally asked once they were in the proper corridor, "I saw you shoot Tiz down. Do you get a thrill of breaking blokes hearts?"

Lily sang, dancing around in a circle in front of James, "No!"

James caught her hand as she raved, forcing her to slow her step and take a deep breath as the air left her lungs when his hazel eyes traced her face adoringly. He'd taken a shower after quidditch practice so his hair was still damp and hung in his face attractively. James' hand was warm and the hallway suddenly felt narrow.

"You look beautiful." He wiggled his eyebrows and she wrinkled her nose at him.

"Flirting James." Lily told him seriously.

"Me?" James pretended to look offended, "I never flirt with you." She rolled her eyes and he laughed again, "Okay, okay, really." He said, "What was Tizzie talking about before he asked you out?"

"I spoke to Professor Dumbledore and he is _making_ Pigeon pick lesson plans for class." She grinned when James' jaw dropped, "Pigeon is probably furious and it's all because I caught him with Dumbledore at dinner."

"You spoke to Pigeon again?" he was captivated, " _And_ got Dumbledore involved?"

Lily perked her chin up proudly, "I not _only_ got Dumbledore involved but I _also_ got Pidgeon to give me half a compliment..."

James pretended to look aghast, "A compliment? No!"

She giggled at his hysterics and nodded, "He told me I was _persistent_."

"Persistent, eh?" James chuckled, moving the hand in his pocket to her face so that he could swipe a strand of her red hair into her braid, "I must be rubbing off on you."

Lily didn't pull away from his touch and instead reasoned, "You are persistent, aren't you?"

"It's a tragic flaw." James sighed shrewdly.

"A flaw, is it?"

He leaned closer, eyes closed, a firm hand cupping her cheek, "Not on you."

Lily pulled away from his hand and stared at him, pointing her finger at him dubiously. James' eyes flashed open behind his glasses, the playful spark in them breaking her momentum. His laugh echoed through the empty hallway before he apologized.

"Ah, Evans, I'm sorry. You just make it so easy."

"What's easy?" she asked.

James remarked, "Remember asking me if I fancied you?"

"Yes?" she said almost exctiedly, "Why?"

"I never gave you my answer."

Lily blinked, "Obviously."

James grinned at her indelicate tone, "Did you want to know?"

" _Obviously_."

James looked gleeful that she was so caught up in their conversation that she didn't even notice they were already at the Library. A few students stepped around them, as they were standing right in the doorway.

"Come on lover boy," Lily grabbed him by the robes and pulled him in the direction of the back stacks.

"Lily you're the worst." James lamented, "You can't tease me like that and then yank me back into Head Boy business."

James grumbled as they entered the library where most students were working quietly on projects. They both walked through the long and tall stacks of books until they reached the back of the library where they were alone save for a sleeping Ravenclaw. James pulled out her chair and helped her take a seat before sitting next to her.

"Why do you have to be so bloody charming?" Lily grumbled.

Lily put her book bag on the table, a reminder that they were in the library to work, not profess their feelings.

"Why do you have to be so bloody stubborn?" James grumbled back as he grabbed parchment from her bag without asking, "Normally when people enjoy snogging each other they, you know, _go out_."

"Sounds fake to me." Lily commented dryly, ignoring his sigh as she found a quill, "Why can't people snog and just be friends?"

James uttered into her ear as he nudged her knee with his own, "I fancy the bloody fuck out of you Evans."

"How romantic." Lily glared at him despite her heart breaking out into frantic beats.

James grinned as if he heard her heart speed up, "Care for a more articulate demonstration of my affections?"

"How do you even know I _like_ your snogging?" Lily scoffed, but the blush on her neck gave her away and James smirked knowingly.

Lily blew her hair from her eyes before considering him darkly, "Marlene and Mary know about the bonfire."

"I've been talking to the boys about that."

Lily replied coolly, "I know, that's how Marlene found out. She heard Peter talking to you in the library."

"Peter was threatening to string me up on the Astronomy Tower if I didn't tell Sirius and Remus." James said, "Sorry Marlene found out."

"She thinks it's great." Lily muttered truthfully.

"The boy's aren't quite sure of anything right now."

"I hope they've been nice."

James actually grinned at that, "Sirius called you a few choice words."

"Marlene and Sirius should start a club." Lily regretfully placed her quill down, "The _Make Lily Evans Feel Like An Idiot Society_."

James chuckled, "Nah, Sirius likes you."

"He has too..." Lily rolled her eyes, "He's _your_ best friend."

"He doesn't _have_ too like you," James disputed, "Look at your best friend."

"Marlene?"

"Mary." James raised his eyebrows and Lily avoided his glare.

"Mary likes you." Lily lied but James saw right through it.

"Sure she does." James crossed his arms and glared at her, "That's why she glares at me whenever I come her way."

"She doesn't mind you." Lily defended her friend, "She's just not a fan of when you are an arrogant git."

James' jaw dropped and his face went red, "She doesn't even _know_ me."

Lily winced as she realized she'd said too much, "Mary doesn't like many people."

James pulled his fingers through his hair angrily, glaring at the floor. It was a new side to James that Lily was aware existed but had never seen. He was so used to everyone (mostly) liking him that he was surprised to hear that someone actually didn't like him. Lily decided to patch up the wound as best she could.

"James, not everyone can like you."

"I don't care if she likes me or not." James scoffed.

Lily nudged him with her knee, " _That's_ convincing."

James dropped his shoulders, "You and Mary should start a club too." He leaned against his chair, "The _James Potter Ego Grinder League_."

"I happen to like your ego." She disagreed with a shrug.

"You think I'm conceited too." James shot back, "You called me an arrogant git once."

Lily snorted, "Yeah, when I was fifteen and you asked me out to enhance your self-worth when I defended Snape..."

James leaned forward, looking mad, "You—you thought I was asking you out because I was challenging _Snape_?"

Lily blinked, "Er, yeah?"

James' head fell and he placed one hand on his forehead in shock, "Fuck." he cursed, " _Shite_."

Lily crossed her arms, "What?"

James shot his head up to look her in the eyes and she saw a tortured look in his eyes, "Lily, I asked you out because I thought— _I think_ —I mean— _fuck me_!"

He stood up angrily and Lily watched as he walked to the book stack behind them and stared at the spines moodily. His fists were curled up at his sides. He actually looked angry, but at who? Certainly not her? Lily stood up and walked over to him, grabbing his hand, forcing him to turn and look at her with smoky hazel eyes.

"You _really_ fancied me at fifteen?" she implored.

"Yes!" and at her less than satisfied look he threw his hands in the air heatedly, "I mean, I know I didn't execute my feelings very well but I was all git and you…" James stared at her and she remembered what Marlene had said about how anyone could tell James fancied Lily when he stared.

She was seeing stars when she finally stared back.

James ruffled his hair, anger dissipating as he stared adoringly at her, "You were all wit and stunning happiness—"

"So you're telling me that you've liked me since fifth year?" Lily interrupted.

James shot a glance at her, "Yes."

It was Lily's turn to place her head in her hands, completely overwhelmed by their heart to heart.

"You didn't know?" James told her and her head shot up.

"How are you still trying to-how can you remotely fancy me after all the times I've strung you along?"

James laughed smartly, "Consistency is key with you."

Lily considered James, "You think?"

James tugged on his tie as if it constricted him, "We've known each other for seven years Lily, so I like to think I know you pretty well."

Lily placed her hands on her hips and tilted her head at him, teasing now, "What's my favorite color?"

James rolled his eyes, "I don't bloody know."

Lily smiled, "Purple."

"Purple isn't what I imagined." James countered back, leaning against the book stacks leisurely, "I thought you'd say green."

Lily couldn't help the little giggle that escaped her lips as she stepped towards him, "What's your favorite color?"

"Green." Came his reply with a shite-eating grin, " _Emerald_ green to be specific."

Emerald green. The color of her eyes. She paused and narrowed her eyes, thinking him to be teasing, but seeing nothing but stone cold truth on his tan face as they stared each other down in the back of the library. He'd liked her for so long and no matter how many times she made fun of him or kept him at bay he still wanted her?

"I'm the worst." She whispered.

James whispered back, "I can't believe you didn't _know_."

Lily confessed, "All this time I thought you were joking or just being— _charming_ —but you actually _like_ me." She was disgusted with herself, "And I've kissed you and strung you along like a—"

"It could be worse." James argued.

"How." Lily demanded.

"The dementors could've appeared before you kissed me back at the bonfire and I could've died."

James laughed when she struck him with a flat palm on the arm.

"I'm just saying," James protested her slap, "It sounds so bad saying that you've strung me along like a puppet on strings when I've been such a willing participant the whole time."

Lily shook her finger at him, "You should've said something sooner!"

James shoved his hands into his pockets shyly, "I knew it wouldn't change anything." He said mystically, "And you kissing me was fantastic enough for the time being."

"The dementors kinda ruined the kiss for me." Lily mumbled bleakly.

James grabbed her hand before she could pull it back and kissed it playfully, "I'd be glad to remind you what it was like?"

Lily wanted to retort madly but instead all she imagined were the slim dementor hands grasping at James Potter and tearing away his soul. When she didn't playfully retort and James noticed her eyes slide over his face like she was memorizing it he swallowed thickly. His hair was mostly dry now, lying on the left side of his face. Lily wanted to brush it aside so she could see his whole face.

"Don't look at me like that." He cautioned softly.

"Like what?"

"Like you actually…" then he stopped himself and dropped her hand away from his mouth, "It didn't hurt that you didn't want to go out with me." James acknowledged, "It hurts that you didn't know I fancy you."

 _I fancy you._

I. Fancy. You.

The words replayed over and over in her head.

James' eyes were hard, unwavering. His voice was husky and her resolve to make them work out for more than a quick fling only hardened in the pit of her stomach. Lily nodded as she tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and took another step to him so that their toes touched.

"How could you fancy me?" she blurted out.

"How could I not?"

"We're different in a lot of ways."

"Not _so_ different." He mused, "I bet I could find ways we're similar."

"Like what?" Lily asked him, "We're both Gryffindors?"

"That's one." He reasoned then winked, "We're also both Head Boy and Girl. We both like Quidditch. We both like our firewhisky."

"I've sworn off firewhisky." Lily reasoned.

"Another thing we both have in common."

"Liar." She accused and he deliberately ruffled his hair just to annoy her.

"We both have great hair," he continued, "and last but not least, we're both _phenomenal_ kissers."

"I'm just not sure what I want out of this." She gestured between them.

"That's where we are quite different." James acknowledged her truth with a truth of his own, "I'm _very_ sure what I want out of this."

Lily hated herself because she valued it, every cocky piece of him.

There was no one in the quiet stack of books. No one nearby except the snoozing Ravenclaw two stacks over. She was feeling on top of the world after Pigeon's defeat, James' confession, and her own revelations. All of this and James was looking exceptionally fit.

James' hand jumped to his hair, ruffling the black strands a bit before sloping towards her warily. She held a bated breath as he reached out with one hand and brushed his fingers across her cheek. She leaned into his touch and smiled up at him with reassurance just like she had at the bonfire over summer holidays.

This time alcohol wasn't coursing through her blood and dementors weren't going to ruin the expected high. This time Lily could experience his kisses without any interruption. Both his hands cupped her face the moment she smiled and he drew her onto her tiptoes, stooping low to press his lips against hers softly. Lily wasted no time in throwing her arms around his shoulders, locking her lips more firmly against his.

It was like Lily had turned a key in his head because James' hands left her face to wrap around her waist, tugging her against him sharply. His teeth pulled against her lower lip the same immodest way that her fingers dragged though his hair. One of them sighed, Lily thought it might've been her but James was definitely experiencing the high too. Their kisses turned chaotic as their hands started tugging more and more at each other until Lily found herself with her back against the book stack. Every time James broke away he came back with more fire and it was hard for Lily to keep up. He tasted like the chocolate cauldron he'd been eating in the common room and his hands had somehow maneuvered their way to her waist, tugging her body flush against his own.

It was better than the bonfire kiss she remembered but she had to break it off before she became too familiar with his tongue, his lips, and his vigorous chuckle.

"So about that rounds calendar..." She managed to gasp when he pulled back to kiss along her jaw.

James mumbled unintelligibly against her jaw, nudging her neck up with his nose. The scruff from his neck rubbed against her skin as he kissed her and her knees buckled again. She was thankful she had a bookshelf to keep leaning against. She un-looped her fingers from his hair and placed her hands on his cheeks, dragging his lips from her skin so he could look into her eyes. She was smiling so much it felt like her face would be permanently stuck.

"Incase you misunderstood that," he was struggling to maintain a regular breathing pattern, "I said we could do that later."

" _James_."

He ignored her and chased his name on her lips with his tongue, pressing his hands into her back again. He held her like she was enough and kissed her like he was in love. It was mind numbing.

Lily finally got enough control of James to pull his lips away again and this time she frowned, instead of allowing him a glimpse of her smile, "No fooling around." She insisted, "You _do_ have to finish that rounds calendar."

James groaned and leaned his forehead against hers, "Can I snog you _after_ it's done?"

"We shouldn't be snogging right now." She debated.

"No," he disputed back, "We _should_ be snogging all the time."

Lily reasoned quickly, "I don't want to hurt you."

James laughed and kissed her nose cutely, "Evans, kissing you can't _ever_ hurt me."

"I don't even fancy you." She bemoaned, "Kissing you is leading you on."

"I know you don't fancy me like I fancy you." James reasoned helpfully, "But that doesn't mean that you won't _ever_ fancy me."

"What are you saying?"

"Let's actually go out." He beamed down at her, "I'll buy you some flowers and take you out for butterbeer in Hogsmede. We'll start slow."

"Slow isn't snogging me in library stacks."

"What can I say?" James grinned, "I'm just taking advantage of our time alone together."

He pressed his lips against hers again. She let his sweet talk get her guard down and she allowed (reciprocated) his kisses. His hand cupped her chin, tilting her head so he'd have better success at kissing her into reserve.

"We can go out to Hogsmede this weekend." James commented slyly in between kissing her, "You can call the shots. I'm enough of a selfish idiot that I'll do whatever you want, whenever you want..."

As Lily's hands fell from his hair to his chest she asked, "How does this proposed alliance make you the selfish one in this relationship?"

He pulled away from her lips finally so he could stare at her, "Well," he considered, "because no matter what you decide, I still get to call you one of my best friends."

Lily felt her heart drop, "I—I'm one of your best friends?"

"I thought that was the one clear thing in our relationship?"

The smile that appeared on her face was reflective of the one on his.

She admitted, "I like spending time with you just like I like spending time with Marlene and Mary."

James wrinkled his nose playfully; "I do humbly request that you only snog me out of all your best friends."

James was funny and handsome. He kept her on her toes. _He fancied her._ Lily had no reason to say no to him, nothing except the nerves that fluttered in her belly as he stared down at her expectantly.

"Okay." She told him, "I want to go to Hogsmede with you."

He beamed and caught her hand in his own, "Giant Squid's out of the running?"

Lily reached up to straighten his glasses, "I hear the Giant Squid already has a date." She teased him, "So you're plan B."

"I'll take it." He grinned.

It was hard to keep James focused after that; he seemed to think it was okay to keep kissing her. Lily had to firmly remind him that they were in the library because she had an essay to write and he had a Prefect schedule to create. When he finished and she managed to write half her essay, they walked back to Gryffindor tower together. He kept his arm slung around her shoulders and she found herself not minding his intimate touch at all. He even kissed her lightly on the cheek before she went to bed and she didn't blush too terribly.

Marlene practically deafened Lily when she entered the girl's dorm with half a smile and admitted that she was going to Hogsmede with James. Ingrid, Mary, and Sue all smiled at Lily knowingly as she fell into her mattress in complete shock.

James was her _date_ to Hogsmede.

* * *

 **Next:**

Pigeon must've heard their footsteps because he stopped talking, "Mr. Potter and Miss Evans. For two students who were so demanding that I teach you something, I'm surprised the both of you had the guts to be late to my first lesson."

"How'd he _know_?" James hissed into her ear.

Professor Pidge struck his cane against the floor again, causing Lily to jump, "Take your seats why don't you?"

* * *

Ayyyyyy. Look at me updating before I said I would. This is what happens when I can't sleep.

Look for your next update on Wednesday around 9pm US Eastern Time.

Let me know what you think either here or on tumblr!

xxx

Petals


	6. There Ain't No Rest For The Wicked

_6._

 _My dreams running into your dreams_

 _It's as if we wished on the same star_

 _And my time changing all of your time_

 _It's a butterfly effect on my heart_

Lily didn't know why she was so nervous or why her heart rate was steadily increasing as she lay in her bed watching the sunshine from the window overtake the dorm room. All she'd been doing was thinking about James and his confrontation in the Library. Lily hugged her covers and sighed to herself as she memorized the way he kissed her and her toes curled cheerfully. She was falling for his charm, she had to admit.

Ingrid passed by Lily's bed as she got ready for class and asked, "Why are you still laying there?"

"Just thinking." Lily hummed, throwing her arms over her head.

Marlene's dressing gown was about her ankles as she teased from her four poster, "Thinking about James, aren't you?"

"Marlene!"

Marlene imitated Lily's high tone, "Lily!"

Lily sat up and glared at her best friend, "What'll make you stop making me feel stupid?"

"You shouldn't feel stupid for thinking about a boy." Marlene commented back slyly, "Besides that point, I wouldn't be your best friend if I didn't make you like an idiot, would I?"

"Pretty sure a best friend is supposed to support and encourage me." Lily argued from her covers.

"I _support_ you snogging James," Marlene said decisively with a wink, "and _encourage_ you to do it again."

" _You snogged James Potter again?_ " Ingrid and Susan both looked over at Lily's bed in awe.

"Why don't we just announce it to the entire school."

Lily groaned, throwing herself back against her pillow. Marlene put her shirt on and came over to Lily's bed, ripping the covers off her body. Lily turned over onto her stomach and glowered up at Marlene. The bubbly blonde wasn't scared of Lily's death glares—she'd become immune to them after seven years.

Lily said out loud to the girls, "It's fine, it's not a secret, James is taking me to Hogsmede."

"You lucky bitch." Igrid said enviously, "Think you can get me an in with Black?"

"As if." Marlene snorted, "Black won't date any of you."

"Black wouldn't date you either." Susan said nastily.

"Good." Marlene shot back with half a laugh, "I'd rather date a monkey in lipstick."

"Lily can you please tell her to shove it," Ingrid asked, "Every girl in this school wishes they could date Sirius Black."

"I don't." Lily replied back coolly, not looking up from her pillow.

Marlene snickered, "I'd hope you don't, since you're snogging the other half."

Mary came out of the bathroom, ready to go. Mary's entry into the room made the conversation drop. Lily got her clothes on and the girls all headed to the common room together. Lily was braiding her own hair, giving her fingers from doing something other than flutter at her sides. Lily's heart skipped a beat as her green eyes scanned the common room, expecting to find James waiting for her. Instead, Lily was startled to see Sirius Black leaning against the rungs of the staircase.

Sirius looked up at the sound of the footsteps on the stairwell and his eyes searched through the girls to finally land on Lily. His cool grey eyes hinted with a glimmer that he was waiting for her as she pulled her fingers down from the braid she'd fashioned. Behind Lily, Ingrid and Susan whispered hastily as they always did when Sirius was around.

"What does he want?" Mary had noted the other half of James Potter as well and didn't looked happy to see him waiting at the bottom of the stairs.

Lily didn't answer Mary and instead came to a stand still in front of the boy with the long black hair. He was wearing black slacks and a white shirt. His Gryffindor tie was slung over his left shoulder like a symbol of honor. Lily wondered how someone could be so ruggedly handsome, it was no wonder Ingrid and Susan liked him. He looked right out a wizard rock band. He pulled his hands out of his pockets and arched a clever eyebrow at her.

"Morning."

Without hiding her surprise Lily replied, "You're looking rather lonesome without your best mate."

"I told James to give me some alone time with you." Sirius said.

"Gonna snog Sirius too?" Susan whispered desperately as the girls passed them.

Before Lily could even shoot Susan a nasty look, Sirius turned his cool eyes on the blonde and said effortlessly, "At least someone _wants_ to snog her."

Susan's mouth dropped open and Marlene stifled a laughed as Ingrid consoled her best friend. Ingrid pulled Susan away from Sirius before he could insult her further, shooting Sirius and nasty glance as she did so.

"I'm afraid you just lost your fan club." Lily sighed as she watched them go.

"I could care less about what the fuck those girls think of me." He said.

Mary and Marlene waited off to the side. Lily knew Sirius intended their meeting to be private or James would've been waiting for her too. Marlene exchanged a look with Lily. Mary was sourly staring at her book bag. They would be late to breakfast if they waited.

"I'll be down to breakfast in a few." She promised Marlene and Mary.

When Mary and Marlene left Sirius said, "Let's go."

"Where?" Lily asked.

"I don't know." He said brazenly, "Somewhere."

Lily gestured for Sirius to lead the way. He nodded and the pair walked side by side, following other kids out of the portrait hole. Instead of taking the left towards the main staircase, Sirius guided Lily right, towards the west side of Hogwarts. Lily's bookbag was digging into her shoulders and she played with the straps as she waited for Sirius to talk. There was a sound of wrinkling plastic and Lily looked at him finally.

Sirius pulled a packet of cauldron cakes from his pocket, "Cauldron cake?"

He was ripping open the packaging of the cauldron cakes. Lily wondered if Sirius had started James' love for the chocolate cakes or vis versa. Either way she was reminded of kissing James after he'd eaten a cauldron cake. Lily smiled to herself as she held a hand for a cake. Sirius passed her one of the cakes and the gooey chocolate leaked onto her fingers. They both ate silently as they walked down the hall together. Lily was licking the chocolate off her fingers when he finally spoke.

"Do you know why I wanted to talk to you?"

Lily shrugged, "I have a feeling you'll tell me."

Sirius chuckled, despite having sounded unfriendly with his question. They stopped walking at the same time and Lily looked around. They were in a dark hallway near the long gallery, a hallway that was filled with many paintings of famous witches and wizards. Sirius stopped them under the portrait of an old witch and her black cat. He leaned against the wall, eyeing her.

"James was _quite_ happy when he came into the dorm last night." Sirius commentated lightly and Lily winced at his snubbed attitude.

"In all fairness, he kissed me first." Lily opted to be playful, Sirius enjoyed banter.

Sirius glared at her over heavily lidded eyes, "What are your intentions with my best friend Lily Evans?"

"Intentions?" Lily half laughed, "I don't know…"

"That's what worries me." Sirius crossed his arms and kept his eyes trained on her face.

Lily grinned, "I never saw you as the overprotective-father-type Black."

" _Overprotective-father-type_." Sirius seemed amused by her comparison and even smiled at her, "Evans, if anyone in this bloody castle is the overprotective father, it's James. Not me."

"Then why are you asking me what my intentions with James are like he's your son?" Lily countered.

He drawled out his words, "I'm _actually_ just pulling you away to threaten you out of earshot of James." He said, "James told me that you told him that you don't fancy him. I just want to make sure you aren't going to fuck my mate up."

"Fuck him up?" Lily stepped back in surprise; offended that Sirius could ever think she'd want to hurt James.

"Evans." Sirius blinked heatedly, "I like you, but I swear to Merlin, I—I can't even _tell_ you how mad I'd be if you got James' hopes up only to rip the floor out from under him if you decide you don't like him enough to date him long term."

"That's _why_ we're dating." Lily replied with a roll of her eyes, "So I can decide if I like him enough to date him long term."

"Listen," he said, "You'd better figure out if you like him quickly."

"You've never had much faith in us." Lily replied coolly, "You made that clear last year."

"I have all the faith in James." Sirius snorted, "It's you that I don't completely have one hundred percent faith in."

"Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence, Sirius."

Sirius hissed sharply, "Yeah, _that_ enthusiasm right there is what makes me wonder if you'd ever like James as much as he likes you."

Lily understood why Sirius was worried. James was Sirius' best friend (brother, basically) and Lily had always told Sirius in the years before that she liked James only as a friend…because she did consider him her friend. James was funny and loyal and comforting. What wasn't there to like about James? It was only recently that Lily considered seeing James as something other than as just her friend.

"Sirius I want this to work out as much as you do." She promised Sirius, "I know I'm not as— _enthusiastic_ as James but I'm really starting to see us as something more than friends."

Sirius seemed content with that answer and even nodded his head. He stood up off the wall and waltzed towards her. His eyes, greyer than the clouds in the sky, stared deeply at her.

"If you break his heart, I'll never speak to you again."

"Wouldn't that be a blessing?"

Sirius barked a laugh at her joke and reached forward to begin ruffling her hair. Lily frowned at Sirius, who stood at her height. He was messing up her braid. Lily pushed his hands away and struggled to clean up her hairdo.

"Stop trying to fix it." Sirius demanded, "James likes it when you look like you just rolled out of bed."

"I hate you."

"You want to make him happy right?" he grinned as they began their trek back to humanity downstairs, "Messy hair makes him happy."

"He was happy enough last night." Lily snorted as the pair walked back towards Gryffindor tower together.

"Of course he's going to be happy." Sirius sniffed, "You agreed to go on a fucking date with him."

"You sound bitter about that." Lily teased, "Jealous?"

"Jealous." Sirius scoffed, "Hell no."

"Right."

Sirius shoved her playfully and she chortled, catching her footing as she stepped to the left on the stairs.

"I'll have you know that I'm out three galleons because of your unfortunate timing in finally accepting a date from James."

"You had a betting pool going on contingent on when I'd accept a date from James?" Lily asked as she skipped down the stairs.

"Yeah and James won." Sirius grumbled behind her like a moody old cat, "Peter and I don't know how he convinced you so quickly. You're normally so bloody stubborn."

Lily laughed and thought back to the past few days, "Well, he can be _quite_ convincing."

"Was that a sexual undertone?"

"No." Lily laughed, shooting a look back at him.

Sirius was grinning toothily, "Evans, come on, I _know_ my sexual nuances and _that_ was one."

"Mind out of the gutter Black."

"You're saying he snogged you into a date?" Sirius disregarded her and continued bantering, "And here I thought I was the manipulative one in the relationship."

Lily was going to send a snarky reply back but her reply was snuffed by the sight of a messy black haired boy at the foot of the stairs leading to the Great Hall. James was sitting on the bottom step. Lily assumed he was waiting for them.

"Morning James." She called and he turned to look up and see her descending the stairs.

James seemed ecstatic with the similar grins Lily and Sirius wore. James jumped up from the step and she stopped the step ahead of him so she could stare into his eyes with a lighthearted air.

"How'd he get you to leave us alone?" she asked.

"He threw in an extra galleon and chocolate frog." James responded with a wink.

"Since Sirius got to threaten me this morning does that mean Mary gets to pull you aside later and assume the roll of overprotective best friend?" Lily asked James.

"I didn't threaten her!" Sirius lied quickly when James' eyebrow arched precariously.

"Per say." Lily muttered and James placed one foot on her stair, so that he was blocking her in.

"Was Sirius nice?" James asked, "Or do I need to pummel him?"

"He threatened to never speak to me again so I really think I'm going to be the winner either way."

Apparently Lily's lively observation was all James wanted to hear because he cupped her chin and pulled her mouth softly against his. Lily smiled against his lips and when he drew back dazed by her smile, she curled the edges of her braid around her finger nervously. She wasn't lying when she told Sirius upstairs that James was slowly breaking down her walls.

"Have breakfast with us." James requested, curling his hand in Lily's.

"Alright."

The Great Hall was bustling. The owls had delivered letters already and everyone was either reading the newspaper or opening packages from home. Lily was aware of Ingrid and Susan, staring as she walked past them hand-in-hand with James. Mary and Marlene were both missing from the table. Lily looked over at the Hufflepuff table and saw Mary was sitting with a red haired boy in specs but Marlene wasn't with them. Lily tucked her chin so she could stare at her feet as she determined exactly where Marlene would've disappeared. Lily couldn't remember if Marlene had said anything in the dorm that morning about skipping breakfast.

Remus and Peter were already eating when Lily sat down in between Sirius and James. Remus was reading the paper and it looked like Peter had gotten a package of sweets from home. He was already eating a chocolate frog over his untouched eggs.

"Morning Lily." Remus offered first as Lily's eyes searched the table laden with food for some bacon.

"Morning Remus." Lily grinned at him before reaching across Sirius to grab the plate littered with meats.

Remus smiled kindly over the newspaper he was reading, "Nice of you to join us."

"I have a feeling I'll be joining you a lot more." Lily admitted and beside her James smiled behind his coffee cup.

"James said something like that." Remus significantly lowered his voice.

Lily didn't miss Peter sharing a look with Sirius and she wondered if Sirius wasn't the only one of James' mates questioning how committed she was to a relationship with their best friend. Peter had never exactly liked Lily, actually, she remembered Peter telling James once she was a stuck up bitch in fifth year. Peter seemed to be James' Mary.

James placed down his coffee and regarded Lily; "You want to come to Quidditch practice tonight? I'm working on new plays with the beaters and could use a good eye."

Lily shook her head, "I would but I have to help Slughorn decorate his office."

James' happiness faded, "This party only happens once a year right?" he complained, "Slughorn treats you like a slave."

"He also has a Christmas party." She commented lightly, "And a New Years party."

James grumbled and Lily grinned, finding it funny how aversive James was towards Slug Club. She took a bite of toast, purposely making a mischievous face in James' direction and earning a glare from him in return.

"You're such a dork." He told her.

"You fancy me anyways." Lily hummed.

"Merlin knows that I tried talking him out of it." Sirius joked.

"Not well enough apparently." Peter muttered as James leaned over and placed a kiss on Lily's cheek.

"Lily, James!" someone came running up behind them, panting.

Sirius coughed and turned to see who was interrupting their morning. Lily turned as well and was startled to see one of the Hufflepuff prefects breathless in front of them. She was leaning into her own frame, trying to take deep breaths. Some of the people around them stared at the Hufflepuff worriedly.

"Annabeth," Lily pursed her lips, "What's wrong?"

"Come look!" Annabeth motioned to them to follow her.

Lily and James sent each other a perplexed look before standing up. Lily grabbed her bag, James following her move. Sirius, Peter, and Remus all got up too, determined to see what was causing Annabeth to sweat uneasily in her yellow and black robes. Annabeth grabbed Lily's hand, pulled her out of the Great Hall, and down a flight of steps towards the Hufflepuff common rooms.

"Should we have grabbed a teacher?" Lily asked.

"You said to go to you and James if something went wrong." Annabeth wheezed.

"Annabeth, slow down." James tried to reason, "What's wrong?"

"It's awful!" Annabeth huffed, "I can't say, I just—"

They'd made it halfway to the Hufflepuff common rooms. Lily only knew because she'd dated a Hufflepuff once and met him down in the dark hallways for a quick snog more than once. Lily recognized the three torches that normally lit the way. Only of them was lit. Annabeth stopped them in the dark hallway and raised her wand.

" _Lumos_."

Annabeth's wand cast a band of light over the shadowy wall. Lily covered her mouth in disbelief. Sirius cursed on Lily's left and raised his own wand, casting an extra beam of light over the wall. The wall had been cut by magic, words spelled out in stone, the handwriting violent.

"Mudbloods, get out." Lily sighed the words that were cut into the stone.

"What kind of Arse defaces school property to shit on other human beings?" she looked to her right to see that James' fists were curled at his side.

"It was so dark down here," Annabeth wailed, "and I didn't see anyone except other Hufflepuff's down here."

"This had to have been done last night." Remus stepped forward and touched the _M_ precariously; "Someone who knew the rounds schedule would be the only one able to get past the teachers _and_ students unseen."

"This couldn't have taken long either." James also inspected the words carved into the wall, "A simple slicing jinx would've done the trick."

Lily swallowed and knelt down on the floor. She reached out with her fingers and felt little tiny bits of wall scattered across the floor. The dust remained on her fingers when she stood up so she brushed her hands on her robes. It was sickening to think someone had done this by the Hufflepuff common rooms. It was well known that the Hufflepuff's were some of the kindest students in Hogwarts. Lily hardly ever heard of Hufflepuff's getting involved in politics.

"I'll go find a teacher," she told them, "This won't come off easily."

James nodded solemnly, "I'll wait here and see if I can think of anything."

Peter glanced at his watch worriedly, "Class starts in ten and McGonagall won't like it if none of us show."

"You three go to class," James ordered his mates, "I'll get the notes from McGonagall later."

Lily and the boys left James and Annabeth by the wall. Sirius slipped next to Lily as they climbed the steps.

"You all right Lily?" he asked sympathetically.

"Just pissed off." Lily retorted hotly, "I _hate_ that somewhere inside this castle there are people who think they're any better than muggleborns because of their _name_."

Lily didn't have to tell Sirius anymore, he got it. Sirius' bloodline was one of those families who saw themselves better than anyone else in the wizarding world. Sirius caused a big upset in his world when he ran away from home and went to live with James after he denounced his family name. It still affected Sirius as much as it affected Lily.

"You're a hell of a better witch than anyone in my family." He complimented her and she smiled at him in thanks.

It took Lily over thirty minutes to find a free Professor since most classes had started. Finally, she came across the divination teacher named Professor Claire. The old woman was horrified when Lily explained what Annabeth had found and quickly ushered Lily to the spot. When they arrived James was pointing his wand at the wall and Annabeth was watching with concern. Lily was stunned to see that the only word left readable on the wall was _blood_ and James was using magic to slowly morph that word back into stone.

"I see my help was not needed." Professor Clare muttered, noticeably impressed with James' wandwork, "Very nice Mr. Potter."

"I figured a simple transfiguring spell would right the stone back to its original appearance," James said as the words were erased completely, "I managed to get the stone to morph slowly."

Lily's hands reached out past James in awe. The words had disappeared and were turned into smooth rock. Her fingers couldn't even feel any sign of James' transfiguring work. She turned her cheek to look right into James eyes admiringly.

"You're amazing." She whispered.

Even in the dark she could see the flush of red on his cheeks from her compliment.

"I'll speak to Professor Dumbledore about this incident," Professor Claire told Lily, "Do not worry. You all can go back to classes now. Ten points to Gryffindor and Hufflepuff."

Silently, Lily and James walked to Defense Against the Dark Arts together. It was the strange noise coming from the Defense classroom that threw Lily for a curve. The couple peered into the classroom from the hallway and saw Pidge standing at the front of the class. He was tapping his cane and talking, _actually talking_ to the students. Lily and James exchanged confused glances before they both entered the classroom.

Pigeon must've heard their footsteps because he stopped talking, "Mr. Potter and Miss Evans, for two students who were so insistent that I teach you something, I'm surprised you both had the guts to be late to my first lesson."

"How'd he know?" James hissed into her ear and she shrugged.

"You were the only two who didn't answer my roll call when class started fifteen minutes ago." Professor Pidge struck his cane against the floor again, causing Lily to jump and James to cringe, "Take your seats why don't you?"

Shamefacedly, Lily strode over to her chair only to notice that Marlene was missing from the classroom. Lily looked around but found Marlene was definitely skipping class. She knew Marlene hadn't felt well the week before and she wondered if Marlene went to the Hospital Wing for Pepper Up potion. Peter was sitting in Marlene's seat instead. Lily would've much preferred cheerful Marlene to the scowls of Peter.

James sat down at his desk behind Lily and Sirius slipped James a note. The classroom buzzed again with fervent energy. Whatever Pidge had been saying was either really interesting or everyone was bored out of their minds and they were looking forward to _anything_ besides more of Professor Pidge's opera music.

"As I was saying before we were interrupted." Pidge tapped his cane rhythmically against the ground, "It doesn't _matter_ what the School Board has to say about this class since Dumbledore specifically asked me to teach you kids what I can. I'm aware that some of you might find what I have to say harsh or mean. _I could care less_."

"What did I miss?" Lily mumbled under her breath, shooting a glance over her shoulder to see that James and Sirius were passing notes back and forth hastily.

Professor Pidge pointed his cane around the room, "As seventeen year olds, I find it pointless to lecture you on about magical remedies to dark magic. I feel it dumb to treat you like children when you are legal adults in this world."

"Then why do you belittle us?" Lily asked sharply, boldly.

"I think you are all not ready for the world Miss Evans." Lily frowned marginally as Pigeon continued, "I'm here to teach you one thing: _you are all in grave danger_."

If a pin dropped on the wood floor, Lily was certain she would've heard it; everyone was stuck on Professor Pidge's grim sentence.

"I'm going to be an Auror." Maria Merryweather spoke up warily, "What makes me not ready?"

"You're all inexperienced when it comes to war." Pigeon's cool grey eyes were half closed with pain of some other world he was imagining, "People died in hoards the last time a dark wizard rose to power."

"I don't think it's right of you to assume we're inexperienced." James spoke up and everyone looked at him except Professor Pidge, who continued staring off into his own personal darkness.

"Why is it wrong of me to assume you aren't prepared?" Pigeon twirled his walking stick, "You have no war training. You have no idea what death really is. You are adults by law but only children by nature."

"We know things," James fought back, "Most of us have grandparents who fought in the first war just like you did."

"The last war was _nothing_ like this." Professor Pidge huffed, "You lot grew up on stories of the fantastic Albus Dumbledore who locked evil Grindlewald away to keep little children safe at night—this new dark wizard is smarter than Grindlewald."

"Not very smart," Sirius countered next fearlessly, "This new wizard hasn't even shown his face."

Pigeon hissed, "And _that's_ what makes him so dangerous. He is a man of many faces. He hides and collects followers who wear masks, which bear his crest to antagonize muggles and wizards alike. This new wizard doesn't even go by a _real_ name _. This_ wizard gathers the dark creatures to his side and they flourish under your fear and confusion."

"Dark creature's like dementors?" Ari MacMillan questioned softly.

Everyone looked around the room at the MacMillan twins who both shifted in their seats. Lily felt kind of bad for the twins, who hadn't been quite as popular after the incidents at the beach. Everyone blamed them for the dementors showing up, even if it wasn't entirely their fault. Professor Pidge noticed the drop in the room and snapped his walking stick against the floor.

"Do you lot even know what a dementor is?"

Ari cleared her throat, "We all saw dementors with our own eyes."

"You must be mistaken girl," Pigeon shook his head, "Dementors wouldn't dare come to Hogwarts."

"It wasn't at Hogwarts," Sirius spoke up, "It was at our end of holiday party a month or so ago."

Pigeon looked surprised, at least as surprised as a blind old man could be, "Dementors? You're sure?"

"They certainly weren't fairies." James mumbled to Sirius behind Lily.

"Dementors are nothing close to fairies." Pigeon snarled at James' cynicism, "They are demon who spawn on fear and sadness."

Andrew Hienes raised his hand and then awkwardly lowered it as he remembered Pigeon could not see, "Sir!" Andrew called, "Where do dementors come from?"

"No one knows." Pigeon snarled, "But pray that your little glipse was all you'll see of them."

Maria spoke up next, "Why?"

"Because they'll suck out your soul." Arthur Avery teased Maria and Maria stuck her tongue out at him.

"The boy is right," Professor Pidge warned them all, "You cannot kill them but they'll kill you."

"So that's all you can teach us?" Sirius sounded annoyed, "That we're all going to die."

"Better to be prepared with the truth," Pigeon said ominously, "Than be nurtured with a lie."

The bell rang, starling everyone in the room except for Professor Pidge who leaned off his cane and stated, "Class is dismissed."

"But what about dementors?" Maria grumbled.

"Figure it out yourselves and report back next class."

Lily's mouth dropped open and she looked around to make sure she hadn't misheard.

 _Pidge gave them homework._

"Class dismissed." Pidge repeated and the students left the classroom in a flurry.

Out in the hallway the students gathered, as they always did, to gossip. Lily pushed through the crowd to stand next to James and Sirius. Maria looked like Christmas had come early and even Tom Coons looked impressed at the class.

"Did Pigeon just give us homework?" James seemed awestruck.

"Pretty sure he just taught a class." Lily said back, equally dazed.

Coons clapped James Potter on the back, "Your prank actually _worked_ , Potter."

James shook his head in disagreement, "Nah, it wasn't me Coons, it was Lily."

Everyone turned to Lily and she shrugged too, "I spoke to him." She glanced over at James, "But James tried talking to him too."

James smiled at Lily and she smiled back at him. She didn't pull away when he wrapped his hand in hers and squeezed it.

"Now we just gotta figure out what can stop a dementor." Maria looked as if she'd never been given homework before in her life, "Do you think it's a curse?"

"If the killing curse doesn't work on those brutes than I doubt any other curse could." Sirius said smoothly.

"They didn't like the fire at the beach." Lily reminded everyone as the large group headed for lunch, "Maybe fire wards them off?"

"We should ask Professor McGonagall." Ari said thoughtfully.

"If we knew where she was." Peter countered.

"McGonagall wasn't in class?" Lily asked Peter, alarmed.

"No," Sirius seemed just as alarmed as Lily, "It was strange. Professor Binns stepped in and had us all write essays."

"Is she okay?" Lily deliberated; it wasn't like Professor McGonagall to miss class.

"Dunno," Sirius said, "Don't recall seeing her at breakfast either."

"I saw her this morning." A Hufflepuff named Greg offered, "She left the Great Hall as soon as Owl Post hit."

"No need to see McGonagall anyways." James said loudly, "You can't turn the reincarnation of the devil into a stuffed animal at will."

Everyone shot off ideas but Lily was a bit too distracted to listen. She couldn't believe that speaking to Pidge around Dumbledore had actually worked. She couldn't believe that Pigeon had reached a compromise with the students. Sure, it'd taken a lot of complaining and a prank gone wrong but Pidge actually taught the students something today. Lily couldn't help feeling delighted that _she'd_ done that.

James caught her selfish grin and nudged Lily teasingly.

"Awfully proud of yourself, aren't you Evans?" James provoked her, pinching Lily's arm as they followed the crowd to lunch.

Lily giggled, "Maybe."

"Why were you and James late?" Ingrid Nalik, ever the gossip queen, slowed her walk so that she was in step with Lily and the boys.

Lily played with her bookbag, "We had Head duties."

"Is talking code for snogging?"

Lily was annoyed by Ingrid's assumptions but James was the one to snap, "No Nalik," he glared at the curly blonde, "its code for some bastards wrote obscene things on the school walls and we had to fix it."

Ingrid glared at James, "I was _just_ wondering." She grumbled, walking away from James and Lily with her nose in the air.

Lily sighed and said to James; "She can't help jabbing her nose into everything."

"I really don't like her." James muttered back, "She's got noting but air and gossip in her head."

"You know," Lily told him, "I think Ingrid just likes to pretend to know everything so she can feel included."

"You're too nice." James responded, "I think it's because she's a gossip and a bore."

"It's not too nice to think she wants to be included." Lily argued, "the world already had enough hate in it James, why spread more?"

James was silent and then he wrapped an arm around her shoulder. She was sullen as he pulled her into his grasp and kissed her on the forehead. She made sure he could see the displeased face she pulled. He ignored it.

"You're too nice." He repeated, but more affectionately.

They made it to the Great Hall where lunch was already underway. Lily unwrapped herself from James' grasp and looked across the Gryffindor table. If Marlene went to the Hospital Wing she'd be back by now stuffing her face with spinach pie. Instead the tall girl was nowhere to be seen. Lily scowled immediately.

"What's wrong?" James noticed her frown and started looking to see what was catching her smile.

"Marlene's _still_ missing." Lily said.

"She wasn't in class with us?"

James just comprehended the absence of Lily's best friend and Lily shook her head in agreement. She was surprised he hadn't noticed her absence earlier. It wasn't like Marlene was a quiet girl.

"She went down to breakfast with the other girls but I didn't see her."

Lily spotted Mary at the end of the table, seeming unconcerned about Marlene's disappearance. Mary looked up from her lunch (a plate of berry strudels) and smiled at Lily when she walked over. Lily noticed Mary's hair, which was normally in some sort of braid, was worn completely down today. She also had her robes unbuttoned to show off a flowery dress.

"Hi Lily." Mary beamed up at her friend joyfully and then her eyes switched over to James at Lily's shoulder, "James."

James, overcompensating because he knew Mary's feelings weren't mutual, beamed and winked at her, "Hey Mary, looking lovelier than a flower today."

"Thanks." Mary eyed James without confidence before turning her gaze back to Lily, "Sorry I missed breakfast Lily, I was reading a new article on potted _hydrentrails_."

Lily had no idea what potted hydrentrails were but she also didn't care much, "What are you all dressed up for?" Lily asked Mary.

Mary flushed and pointedly stared at her plate, "No reason."

Ingrid, sitting beside Mary, didn't seem surprised in Mary's style, "Mary's got a new boyfriend."

"I do not." Mary complained, pushing Ingrid's arm, "Stop gossiping Ingrid."

Lily looked back and forth between the girls. Mary had mentioned a boy in her muggle studies class. He was a Hufflepuff and Mary hadn't introduced them yet. Ingrid's expression only confirmed what Lily assumed; Mary was meeting the mysterious boy after lunch.

"Mary you have a date!" Lily exclaimed, "Don't you?"

Mary went redder, "It's _not_ a date." She mumbled, "I'm just walking around the lake after lunch."

"Merlin, she's as stubborn as you." James commented, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

Mary, who hated all forms of attention lowered under their thrilled gazes.

"It's just a walk." Mary bemoaned at her friends.

"Walks can lead to something more." James encouraged Mary, "Who is the bloke?"

Mary pointedly ignored James and considered Lily, "Where's Marlene?"

Ingrid turned in her seat to gossip with Susan Nessus who had just arrived from Divination. They both kept shooting glances over at Lily and Mary.

"I was going to ask you the same thing." Lily said.

"Dunno," Mary played with the ends of her dress, "Was she not in class with you?"

"No." Lily wondered where their friend had gone off too, "Maybe she's not feeling well?"

"Maybe," Mary stood up before Lily could ask anything else, "Listen, I gotta go Lily, see you later."

Both Lily and Ingrid forgot their temporary stalemate to watch Mary leave the Great Hall. Lily half expected a handsome gentleman to meet her at the door. Mary was so proper Lily imagined he'd be like something out of Pride and Prejudice. Instead though, Mary disappeared behind the doors alone. Ingrid saw her disappointed look.

"She's always been weird when it came to boys."

"Not always." Lily muttered, shooting a dejected look over at the Slytherin table.

Lily normally ignored the Slytherin table but her eyes fell on a muscular boy with a shaved blonde head. He had his arm slung around his newest conquest, a pretty brunette. Lily absolutely despised Mulciber for his sick ways of treating women, especially women like Mary.

James noted Lily's glare and wrapped an arm around her waist, "Come on," he said faintly, "You can sit with me and the boys."

Before she could turn to look at James another pair of eyes at the Slytherin table caught her look. They were dark and steely eyes that bored into her with a sense of obscurity. She hated those eyes and the boy they belonged too. Severus Snape seemed surprised to catch her looking at the Slytherin table but she noticed Sev's gaze turn rigid when he spotted James with an arm around her waist.

"Lily mind eating with us?" Ingrid broke through Lily's stare down and Lily forced herself to look around at Ingrid.

"What?"

"Mind eating with us?" Ingrid guested between Susan and herself, "We wanted to talk to you."

Lily sighed, "Sure." She sent James an apologetic look, "Sorry James."

James let his hand linger a moment on her waist before he said, "It's fine."

Ingrid waited for James to walk farther down the table to his mates before leaning forward, "You two are perfect for each other!"

Lily laughed awkwardly, "I dunno about—"

"She's right." Susan spoke up from where she sat beside Ingrid, "He's so sweet to you, _ugh_ how'd you get so lucky to get a decent boyfriend?"

"Lucky." Lily laughed, "Susan, James isn't even my boyfriend. We're just going on a date. No big deal."

"It is a big deal!" Ingrid argued quickly with Susan bobbing her head as well, "It's james!"

"Yeah," Lily rolled her eyes, "And I'm Lily."

"James became a decent boy _for_ you!" Susan said angrily.

"You think James changed for me?" Lily snorted, "Susan you've been reading too many romance novels with Marlene."

"Would thirteen year old James Potter have ever considered Head Boy?" Ingrid pushed, " _No_."

Susan nodded, "Yeah and when did he stop hexing students in the hallway?" Lily hated Susan more than ever now, "When he realized you hated it. He's better because of you. You're _so_ lucky he likes you that much."

"Ingrid. Susan." Lily demanded sourly, "James is his own person. He doesn't need to change nor _did_ he change. He was a chivalrous git in first year and he'll be a chivalrous git until we graduate."

Susan hummed and both girls looked at each other in disbelief. Lily didn't intend to argue with them anymore about James' ability to be a mature adult once-in-a-while so she changed to subject to the magazine Susan had. The girls spent the rest of lunch reading over an article on beauty spells and transfiguring clothes. Lily wished she had turned them both down on the request to eat lunch with them. Lily couldn't stomach them without Mary or Marlene.

Of course, Marlene didn't show up to any of their classes.

Lily voiced her worries to James in Advanced Potions.

"It's not like her to miss a meal." Lily whispered as they brewed their assigned potion.

"Maybe she's in the infirmary." James reasoned, "I've had to point at least ten people that way for pepper-up potion after they complained of flu symptoms."

Lily bit her lip and played with the ends of her braid as she considered James' words, "Maybe."

When James realized she wasn't placated he added, "Mary didn't seem worried, I don't think you should worry either."

Lily nodded firmly before pushing Marlene from her thoughts.

The rest of the class was still working on boiling potions. Professor Slughorn had assigned a weeklong project that included multiple brewing days. The students simply had to check on the potions each day and make sure the contents were not overheated. As such, class was short. The students updated their brewing reports (James let Lily update theirs since her handwriting was the best) and in only thirty minutes Lily and James were the only students left in the classroom.

They both had nowhere to be until next period so while Lily chatted with Professor Slughorn, James stayed at his chair and sketched on spare paper. Another half hour passed before Slughorn stopped chatting to Lily and the bell signaled the end of class. When Lily tuned back to their table James was still waiting. He was concentrated on his sketching and hadn't noticed the bell. Lily leaned over their table to flick him playfully in the nose. James looked up at her with a smile, glasses lopsided on his face.

"A sickle for your thoughts?" she asked.

James placed down his quill and turned the parchment around. Lily looked down at it and was pleasantly surprised to see that James was drawing…and he was _great_ at it. He'd been drawing a broomstick, the curved wood seemingly popping off the page thanks to his precious quill strokes. It looked like ti had come right out of a magazine; it was perfect.

"This is amazing." Lily told him, touching the broom with her fingers, the ink raised on the paper.

"I like drawing." James replied softly, "My mum taught me and I've always sketched when I'm bored."

"Sorry for boring you." She grinned, "Slughorn was a chatterbox."

Lily gave him back the parchment and they collected their things. James stuffed the paper into his bag before grasping her hand.

"Does your mum know how good you are at drawing?"

"Have I never told you about my parents?"

"No." she said honestly, wondering why the subject had never come up.

"They're great." James stated as they climbed the steps towards the main hallways, "I think they'd like you a lot."

Lily shrugged, not sure why the thought of meeting his parents bothered her.

James continued, "You'd like my dad a lot at least. He's a old potioneer and has an entire lab in our basement..."

Amazed, Lily stared at James, "What?" she questioned breathlessly, "Really?"

James chuckled, "You're going to laugh, but my dad invented sleakeazy, the potion for messy hair."

Lily's jaw dropped open at the news that James' father was the inventor of a potion used by half of Gryffindor house. The potion was meant to tame even the most unruly of hair. Lily eyes James' black mess atop his head and ran her fingers through it suggestively.

"You'd think you'd keep your hair well sorted." She teased, "What with your father inventing a hair-taming potion." Then she realized, "Oh my God! No _wonder_ you're so good at potions." Lily whistled, "I can't believe Slughorn didn't snatch you up into Slug Club."

James chuckled, "Oh, he tried." James winked at her, "Unfortunately for Slughorn he set a bad impression with me after he said he only wanted Sirius in Slug Club because of who he shares a last name with."

Lily nodded gracelessly, "Slughorn is an interesting fellow."

"I'm surprised he's your favorite teacher." James admitted as they entered the main castle and walked into a small alcove to talk before they had to split up, "He _favors_ blood status."

"He also favors bravado." Lily snorted, "He asked me to join Slug Club after I schooled everyone on the Potions test in first year."

"See? He just collects little playthings to flaunt." James seemed disgusted.

Lily replied sweetly, "He did tell me I ought to have been in Slytherin house."

James blanched, "What _idiot_ thinks _you_ belong in Slytherin house?"

Lily wrinkled her nose at James, "Apparently I'm shrewd enough."

"Right." James said with a roll of his eyes, "Because cleverness is the main trait of Slytherin."

"He means well." Lily told James sensitively, "I don't expect you to like Slughorn but he does want me to be successful and that's more than I can say for others in this school."

James hummed before leaning down so their noses were inches apart. Lily sucked in a breath and he chuckled softly before reaching out to tuck a strand of loose hair behind her ear. James' hazel eyes searched her face and then he leaned down to place a chaste kiss against her lips. He pulled back swiftly.

"I still think you're too nice." He confessed, "but I wouldn't change that for the world."

She couldn't help beaming the rest of the way to class.

Once Lily was in class though, her face fell. Charms Theory was a small class so it took no time for Lily to take in that not only was Marlene missing, Mary wasn't in her seat either. Lily sat down beside Ingrid and Susan, slamming her bag onto the floor.

"Mary's not here?" Lily asked.

"I saw her heading somewhere with Cattermole after muggle studies." Ingrid replied, "You think they're together- _together_?"

"I don't care _what_ they are." Lily said, "It's not like Mary to miss class at all."

"Cattermole must've given her a good enough reason to skip." Susan spoke, glancing at a watch on her wrist, "Because class started thirty seconds ago."

Lily sighed and pulled out her book, "Anyone seen Marlene?"

"Nope." Both girls replied colorlessly.

Lily spent the next hour after class trying to find either of her best friends but it was to no avail. Neither Mary nor Marlene showed up to dinner. Lily checked their dorm but it was empty as well. Not even a hint that either of her friends were around. Lily (deciding that Marlene must've had a reason for disappearing) grabbed her books and headed back to the common room.

Lily couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong though. Marlene wasn't one to not announce her plans for the day; in fact Lily can't ever remember a time not knowing where her friend was. Marlene would even make it known when she was going to the loo; she was just that open about everything.

James appeared again before any of her friends did and he'd spent the night on the quidditch pitch. James kneeled down in front of the chair she was sitting in. Lily looked over her book to smile at him. He was wearing his quidditch gear and the maroon colors made his skin glow in the firelight.

"A sickle for your thoughts?" he mimicked her from earlier that day in Potions.

"Trying to figure out what can repel a dementor." Lily replied, holding up the book she was reading.

James' hazel eyes traced the cover of _101 Dark Magic Deterrents_.

"Anything good?" he asked, "Old Pigeon'll probably love you if you figure out his riddles."

"Not really." she shrugged and said truthfully, "My minds been somewhere else tonight."

James' eyebrows shot up; "Oh?" he looked hopeful.

Lily nodded and sighed, "Mary's off somewhere with the Hufflepuff she refuses to introduce any of us too and Marlene's still missing."

"The castle's big enough that you can hide easily if you don't' want to be found." James suggested, "Maybe Mary and her beau are just busy."

"Mary skipped class James."

"I skip class al the time."

Lily said pointedly, "This is serious. She won't introduce us. She's wearing her hair down. She wore a _dress_ today. This new bloke is changing her!"

"People don't change for other people." James said wisely, "People change for themselves."

Lily blinked at James utterly surprised at herself for complaining. She swallowed as she remembered having the same conversation with Ingrid and Susan about James. Lily felt bad for being a hypocrite but Mary really was acting different. Lily sighed and flipped her book shut over her thumb, marking her page.

"In the last seven years has Mary ever skipped a class?"

James smiled at Lily and squeezed her knee, "Evans, it's fine. Breathe."

Lily stared at him, wondering how he'd come to be the one to comfort her. She wished Marlene were around. Marlene would understand.

"Was Marlene out on the pitch drooling over Aaron Tivett?" Lily asked James suddenly.

James shook his head, "No," he looked confused.

"Marlene's missed classes before but I haven't seen her since this morning."

"She's avoiding you." James jested, reaching up to playfully flick her braid.

Lily whined, "My friends are acting weird."

James chuckled and stood up so he could press a hand against her pouted cheek, "Mary isn't changing, and Marlene is fine." He told her with a convincing smile, "People don't make one eighties in personalities unless there's something sick in their head."

Lily sighed dramatically, "I know." She said, "I just am so used to Mary—"

"Mary skipping one class to be with a boy isn't going to hurt her." James cut Lily off, "Just like me being Head Boy doesn't stop me from sneaking out past curfew."

"Yeah, yeah." She mumbled, looking down at her book.

James spoke again tenderly, drawing her from her own little world; "I meant to ask you earlier, what do you want to do on our date?"

Lily looked up and saw he was smiling adorably, "I don't know." She leaned into her lap and hummed, "Zonko's definitely—maybe a butterbeer?"

James' hazel eyes traced her frisky smile, "Sounds like a pretty plain date. Where's the excitement?"

Lily tilted her head at him; "You said you wanted to take me out for butterbeer."

James snorted, "Your thoughts of butterbeer and my thoughts of butterbeer are two different philosophies." James poked her side playfully, "What about butterbeer outside of the Shreiking Shack?"

"Sounds dangerous?"

"Nah," James' eyes twinkled wickedly, "I know the bloke who owns the house. We can definitely have a picnic on the grounds."

"It's haunted." Lily laughed, "Are you telling me the ghost landlord likes you?"

"The landlord isn't a ghost." James joked back, "It's a vampire and we're mates."

"You're such a fool, James."

"I'm a fool for you."

She laughed again and pushed his shoulder good-naturedly. James leaned into her space and their noses touched again. Lily closed her eyes, completely overwhelmed by him.

"Start thinking up date ideas." He requested, "Otherwise we're doing what I want and you won't be able to breathe much if I get to pick."

Lily didn't know how to tell him that even now, in all his gravity, it was like all the air had been sucked from her lungs. He was so comfortable around her and she was such a mess around him. Lily knew that James meant it; he liked her, a lot. As he stood up and walked over to a waiting friend by the boy's staircase, Lily let out a breath.

He was so charming, _all of the time_. It was like every word he breathed in her direction warmed up her toes like a fire. Even Lily's face was warm from his confession. She was certain that if James Potter put his mind to it, he could charm a dementor out of a soul sucking.

Suddenly, Lily sat up in surprise.

 _Charm_.

Lily scrambled for her book bag under the chair she sat on and pulled out her Advanced Charms Theory book. She flipped through the chapters, eyes skimming over the words. Charms originated as an opposite of hexes, providing remedial properties for witches and wizards. There were plenty of charms that can help witches and wizards in trouble. There was nothing at first, the book focused on describing household spells but then the author brought up dark magical properties. Lily leaned closer to the book and narrowed her eyes to read the passage.

 _For it is evident that a human confronted with inhuman evil, such as the Dementor, must draw upon resources he or she may never have needed, and the Patronus is the awakened secret self that lies dormant until needed, but which must now be brought to light..._

Lily looked for more on the Patronus Charm in the book but only found that the author stuck to examining the forms of the rare charm. It appeared that any caster of the charm could produce a dreamlike creature used as a protector against the darkness of the Dementor. Even still, it seemed like the Patronus was the only thing that safely and effectively warded off Dementors.

"Lily?" a voice asked.

Lily looked up from her book and smiled when she saw it was Eric Tiz, the fifth year Gryffindor Prefect. Lily closed her book and placed it on her lap.

"What's up Tizzie?" she asked, "How's Defense going?"

"Fine." Tiz stared at his feet, "I was just checking to see if you were okay."

Lily cleared her throat, "Of course I am," she said happily, "Why wouldn't I be?"

Eric looked up, revealing a puzzled expression, "Did no one not tell you?" he asked warily.

Lily shook her head; "Apparently not?"

Eric suddenly looked itchy, "Oh, erm…" he was bouncing foot to foot.

Lily leaned into her chair uncomfortably, "What's wrong Tiz?"

Eric blabbered on anxiously, "Well, I just thought since she was your friend and all—"

"Eric, what happened." Lily repeated firmly.

Eric swallowed, "MarleneMcKinnonwaspulledintoMcGonagall'sofficethismorning."

The book dropped from Lily's hands to the floor, "Is she alright?"

"I don't think so." Eric managed to slow his words; "The Hufflepuff who _saw_ Professor McGonagall with Marlene said she was crying something awful."

"Why," Lily demanded, " _Why_?"

Eric swallowed, "Well, she said McGonagall had a letter in her hand, sealed from a Ministry brand." He couldn't look Lily in her eyes and she felt a sinking feeling hit her stomach; "She said her friend Sara got the same letter when—when-."

"When what." Lily breathed, clutching her chest.

Eric finally looked her in the eyes, "Lily, if Marlene got that letter it means that someone in her family is dead."

Lily shook her head in disbelief.

"Lily I'm sorry," Eric looked beside himself, "I would've thought she'd have told you—I'm sorry—"

"Eric." Lily managed to breathe, " _Please_ —have you seen Mary MacDonald?"

Eric shook his head and looked fretful, "I'm sorry."

Lily stood up and raced for the common room portrait hole. Lily didn't even know how, but she got herself to McGonagall's office without breaking down in tears. Lily slammed her fist against the door passionately and was surprised when McGonagall opened it after one knock.

"Miss Evans," Professor McGonagall was in a dressing gown, "What on earth—"

"Where's Marlene?" Lily demanded quickly, her throat tightening up, "Is Marlene okay?"

A shadow fell across McGonagall's face. McGonagall pulled the door to her study open and gestured to a chair in the middle of the office. It was near a table holding a tray of biscuits. Lily's shoulders shook as she took a seat. She was struggling to not sob.

"Lily," Professor McGonagall rarely called any of her students by their first names and the action caused Lily to sniff.

"I was told someone in her family died…is that true?" Lily asked pitifully.

McGonagall stood over Lily with stern eyes, "Marlene's parents were esteemed curse breakers working in the Ministry." McGonagall warned Lily, "Your friend was aware that her parents job was dangerous."

"Were they killed?" Lily whispered, thinking of all the times Marlene had complained that her parents made too many enemies in the Ministry.

"There was an accident and their bodies were found this morning in the Department of Mysteries."

Lily's voice was strangled, " _Marlene_." She dropped her face into her hands and thought of Marlene's normally happy face, fraught with concern.

McGonagall sensed the distress and leaned closer to Lily, placing a hand on her shoulder, "I'm afraid Miss McKinnon had to leave Hogwarts this morning in order to help her brothers mourn..."

Lily had heard of students leaving when their family died…she'd just never expected it'd happen to one of her friends, let alone her best friend. What was Lily going to tell Mary? What was she going to do without Marlene?

Sometimes the students affected by the war came back but typically when students left Hogwarts…they didn't always return.

"Will Marlene come back?" Lily whispered.

"That's not my place to say."

Lily wished more than anything that she'd been with Marlene earlier that morning rather than bantering with Sirius over cauldron cakes.

* * *

 **Next Time:**

"Do you know how Marlene McKinnon is doing?"

James stopped tugging on her hand and she knew he instantly felt guilty.

"No," Dumbledore replied sadly, "But it is no easy thing becoming an orphan, at any age."

* * *

 **I'm so happy all of you are enjoying this story! I was threatened with rainbow guns if this got too depressing so I promise it has it's up (and downs). The wizarding world is in a war so even if Lily and James are inside school it's going to affect them or the people closest to them.**

 **Let me know what you're most looking forward too. I can't wait for you to read more about the patronus' and true love!**

 **xxx**

 **Petals**

 **warning:** **there will be no update next week as I have to fly out to Texas for a very important interview. Wish me luck! Be back on the 30th with an update!**


	7. Butterflies

_7._

 _You hit me head on, got me weak in my knees_

 _Yeah, something inside me's changed_

 _I was so much younger yesterday_

Lily yawned as she followed behind Mary and the other Gryffindor girls early the next morning. Sleeping all night had been awfully hard without Marlene's snores to drown out the silence. All of the girls were far from chipper as they settled into seats at the Gryffindor table. News spread fast and everyone was whispering after Owl Post had been delivered. Lily and her friends kept their heads down and didn't talk to each other. Marlene McKinnon was a bubbly energy that Lily relied on in the mornings.

Hogwarts seemed a little less golden without Marlene's cheery laugh echoing around the Gryffindor table. Aaron Tivett sent the girls a sad sort of look when he sat down to breakfast. Lily struggled to eat but her stomach felt like it was eating itself from the sadness. In all her years at Hogwarts, Lily had never been without Marlene.

"Lily."

Lily looked up sleepily from her plate and glanced over her shoulder to see James standing there with his hands stuffed in his pockets. She twirled in her chair so that she was facing him and tilted her head. Mary looked up in interest as well, her eyes unblinking. James' mates kept walking, only Sirius sending Lily a slight nod. Remus and Peter were bickering silently, both apparently not noticing James' sudden halt.

Having gained Lily's attention James continued, "Professor McGonagall said we're to take breakfast with Headmaster Dumbledore in his office."

Lily rubbed her eyes thoughtfully, "Breakfast with the Headmaster?"

James nodded, holding out a hand for her to take, "Come on sleepy head." He encouraged, "Dumbledore probably has some breakfast waiting for us."

"But why does he want to talk?" Lily furrowed her brow.

Mary exchanged an uneasy glance with Lily. Lily yearned for the comfort of her bed, not breakfast with the Headmaster but nonetheless she stood up, pushing the plate she'd filled with eggs away from her simultaneously. Lily's book bag was heavy at her feet when she slung it off the ground and onto her shoulder. James only dropped his outstretched hand after she lopped her fingers through his. His hand was warm, a stark contrast to her cold fingers.

"Do you think it's about Marley?" Mary asked frightfully.

"Why the glum looks?" James inquired daftly.

Lily, taken back, gawked at him, "You didn't _hear_?"

When Lily had returned to her dorm the night before it seemed everyone knew. Eric Tizzie stopped her twice, apologizing. Mary found Lily in the bathroom crying over the sink. Ingrid and Susan were quiet as they sat on their mattresses alone. Hogwarts without Marlene was inconceivable.

"Hear what?" James' glasses slid down his nose as he pondered their vacant expressions, "Lily, what happened?"

"There was an accident in the Ministry." Mary sniffed darkly.

James was still confused and Ingrid elaborated when Lily and Mary couldn't rbing themselves to the proper words, "Marlene McKinnon's parents are dead."

James' hazel eyes flashed from Ingrid's bitter look to Lily's puckered lips. James' hand even tightened around hers, the warmth not enough to seep through her cold heart. Lily couldn't read his facial expressions, fluttering across his features swiftly. Lily saw his ears were red, a sure sign of anger.

" _Dead_?"

"Yes." Lily's chest felt restricted as she acknowledged it out loud, "Marlene left Hogwarts yesterday."

Lily had trouble keeping her voice level and James noticed immediately. His squeezed their connected hands and nodded at Mary to address his condolences. Lily let her lower lip pout out more as she tried not to cry. Mary's eyes were watering. Even Susan was wiping her eyes with her napkin as James stared around the table at all the Gryffindor girls, as if waiting for one of them to admit they were joking. Lily wished the past twelve hours had been a dream.

When no one said anything else James cleared his throat again, "Is she coming back?" he croaked.

"We don't know." Mary wiped a tear off her cheek quickly but James didn't miss it.

"I'm sorry." James said sympathetically.

Mary looked at James in surprise, as if his behavior was abnormal. She wasn't nasty when she replied to him either. Lily wished she were in more a mood to appreciate the comradely between her friends. Lily sniffed, still holding back tears that threatened to spill. Marlene would've loved to see Mary offer James even a flicker of a smile.

"It's so weird being at Hogwarts without her." Mary whispered.

Lily bit her lip and squeezed Mary's shoulder with her free hand, "I know what you mean Mary, I couldn't sleep last night."

Suddenly Professor McGonagall appeared in front of Lily and James looking quite rattled, "Mr. Potter I told you five minutes ago that you and Miss Evans were supposed to be dining with—"

"Dumbledore," James finished lamely, tugging on Lily's hand, "We were just going."

"Do hurry." Professor McGonagall gave them both a stern glare as they weaseled their way past the old woman, "Professor Dumbledore is a busy man."

Once James and Lily had sufficiently made it out of the Great Hall (after a hasty wave to Mary) James let out the questions he'd been holding back in front of Mary. Lily was almost thankful he'd waited to speak until they were clear of emotionally unstable Mary. Lily was having a hard time so she couldn't even imagine what it was doing to Mary. Or what it was doing to Marlene's bubbly personality.

"How do you think Marlene is going to get through this?" Lily whispered and James must've missed the words, they were so jumbled together.

"When did you find out?" he asked as they climbed the marble staircase hand in hand.

"After you left me in the common room last night Eric Tiz broke the news." Lily divulged.

James looked moody at that, " _Tizzie_ told you?"

Lily defended Tizzie quickly, "He assumed I knew since she is my best friend."

"He shouldn't have assumed anything." James said irritably, "No one but Marlene should've told you."

"Tizzie was just trying to be thoughtful."

"Whenever that bloke tries to be helpful it just comes off as useless." James seemed livid, either at the news or at how it was delivered.

Lily had a feeling it was both.

"James." Lily cautioned, "Tiz means well and Marlene couldn't tell me since she left Hogwarts immediately."

"Yeah, yeah." James muttered and Lily thought she saw him roll his eyes as they hopped over a vanishing step on one of the staircases, "I guess you're right."

"I just hope Marlene is okay." Lily repeated her fears and James squeezed her hand again.

"I hope so too."

They made it to Dumbledore's office only after having to take an alternative route when they found that the staircases were moving more than normal that morning. It took James' extensive knowledge of Hogwarts to get them past the maze and by the time they reached the stone gargoyles that protected Dumbledore's office, Lily felt winded.

"This castle is so big." Lily huffed as they climbed the staircase open and ready for them, "I hate when the staircases are on a different pattern than normal."

James nodded his firm agreement but didn't say anything because they'd reached the open doorway that led into Dumbledore's study. Lily had been inside the study three times her entire Hogwarts career but it was one of her favorite places. Bookshelves circled the room and were covered in more than just books. Trinkets whizzed on the shelf closest to the doorway. A wall of portraits of old headmasters stared at Lily and James as they meandered inside. Professor Dumbledore wore maroon robes and was sitting at his desk, taking toast with his tea. Two chairs and a side table piled with coffee cakes and pasties sat by the desk.

"Headmaster," James broadcasted their arrival, "McGonagall sent us?"

Dumbledore spotted them instantly and he gestured silently to the seats by the tray of treats. Lily fell into the seat closest to a bird stand where a pretty phoenix hummed in her direction. James let go of her hand to fall into his own seat and grab a coffee cake greedily. Lily was once again reminded of James manner when he stuffed the whole cake in his mouth. She wondered how he managed to stay so thin since he ate like a pig. One of the portraits closest to James looked disgruntled at his appearance.

Dumbledore stroked his white beard, "I'm so glad you two could join me."

"No problem." James replied after swallowing the cake, "We weren't doing anything."

"Is everything okay?" Lily asked, hoping to draw Dumbledore's attention away from James who was selecting another cake.

"I've brought you both here under dire circumstances." Lily prepared herself for him to talk about Marlene's parents but instead Dumbledore said something entirely different, "More and more reports of dementors on the English countryside have sent a few of the School Governors into a frenzy."

"We saw dementors off the coast this summer." Lily said worriedly, thowing a glance over at James who nodded his agreement.

"They crashed a bonfire." James told Dumbledore, "But we all got away."

"Dementors are not to be messed with." Dumbledore said firmly to the couple, "Many a witch and wizard have lost their souls to the unforgiving creatures and the governors have requested that this weekend's Hogsmede trip be postponed."

"It's tomorrow." Lily tugged on her hair at the thought of telling everyone the bad news.

"The students will be furious." James seemed to be one of the students upset at the cancellation, "Everyone looks forward to this trip every year."

"I'm sorry Mr. Potter." Dumbledore apologized tightly, "But I'm afraid the Ministry wants to keep the students at Hogwarts for the week until aurors can assess the situation."

"Do you think we should reschedule to next weekend?" Lily suggested, trying to help appease the situation.

"We can't." James replied sourly, "It's the first Quidditch match of the season next weekend."

"I need you both to get the word out about the cancellation." Dumbledore said before James could say anything else, "The other prefects will need to be prepared to change their rotations from Hogsmede to the castle."

"What are we supposed to do fort he students in the place of the Halloween Hogsmede trip?" James asked with concern, "That's everyone's favorite trip of the term!"

"The feast will remain as is." Dumbledore told James with a strong look over his glasses, "No need to cancel all school festivities. As long as the students are within Hogwarts' boundaries the dementors pose no threat."

James mumbled to Lily bleakly, "The third years are still going to revolt."

Lily knew he was right. It was a sort of right of passage for third years to finally go to Hogsmede. She didn't look forward to the third years complaining about the unfair timing of dementors. Dumbledore seemed amused by the look of dread of their faces.

Dumbledore chuckled, "Perhaps we can appease them with extra treats." He suggested, "I'll even have some butterbeer brought in for the occasion."

"Really?" James perked up, "That would be great!"

"How soon until we can reschedule for a new weekend?" Lily asked, knowing the other prefects would want to know.

"I'll send for the both of you the moment I get approval for another weekend."

"Thanks for letting us know Professor." Lily sighed, already thinking of how to spread the bad news, "We'll let the other Prefects know."

She stood up, James following suit. He had another pastry in his hand; Lily was suddenly not very hungry. Dumbledore stood up too, apparently not done speaking with them despite the finality in his tone.

"Lily, are you attending Professor Slughorn's Halloween party tonight?" Dumbledore asked her.

Lily had totally forgotten about the party scheduled after classes and it took her a moment before she nodded her head "Yes," she confirmed, "Of course I will."

"Be sure to tell Horace that I send my apologies but I will not be in attendance." Dumbledore said, "I'm expected at the Ministry later this afternoon."

With mentions of the Ministry, Lily decided to ask Dumbledore for one more piece of information.

"Do you know how Marlene McKinnon is doing?"

James perked up and his eyes flashed from Lily's face to Dumbledore's pensive expression. Lily only looked at James once, keeping her gaze on Dumbledore. She was trying to read the old man's face but the only thing she saw between the angled white brows and a quick blink towards James was a flash of grief. It was the same saddened look Professor McGonagall had worn the night before.

Lily wondered how many people knew the McKinnons.

"No," Dumbledore finally said unhappily, "But it is no easy thing becoming an orphan, at any age."

Lily thanked Dumbledore for his time and followed James out of the study. Her feet dragged her through the hallways, feeling slightly sick as she thought of Marlene, orphaned at seventeen.

"I'll go find the prefects and spread the news." She said before they'd reached the staircases.

James had tried to help but she asked him to go to class, allowing her time to wallow in her own thoughts. James seemed bruised at her request to be left alone but he still kissed her forehead as he left her for Transfiguration. Lily spent all of transfiguration finding the prefects and relaying the news.

Lily never thought of how close the war was getting to Hogwarts until she was alone and staring at an empty hallway before Defense Against the Dark Arts. Fridays were normally loud and filled with energy but after news got around that Hogsmede was cancelled, everyone was grumpy. Outside the windows of Hogwarts, even the sky was crying.

Lily was leaning against a rain splattered glass window flanking the door to the Defense classroom when James finally found her. Somehow entering the classroom and not finding Marlene grinning back at Lily was daunting. Instead of facing the empty seat, Lily stood outside the classroom defiantly. She had her hands clasped in front of her and she was feeling so incredibly sad that she didn't even smile at James when she spotted him.

James waved Sirius, Peter, and Remus into the classroom before he came to join her in silence by her window. He didn't talk; in fact she was surprised when all he did was lean next to her. He reached out for her hands and she let him take them, having no qualms for reassurance. All she wanted, more than anything in the world, was the ability to reassure Marlene. James cleared his throat as she stared at their connected hands.

"Do you want to skip class?"

"Breaks your heart, doesn't it?" Lily broke out in tears at the sound of his kind voice, "Seventeen years old and she's an orphan."

"Ah, Lily."

James sighed, pulling her into his chest and rocking her as she cried into his robes.

"I'm sorry Lily."

"Pigeon was right." She moaned, thinking of their arse of a Professor.

"You're just upset." James muttered, brushing her tears from her cheeks, "Come on Lily, don't cry. _Please_?"

"We're just kids," she turned her cheek, "Professor Pidge was right James, we're not ready for the world."

"If you take everything I say so genuinely then you are dumber than I thought."

Lily's head snapped up and she saw Professor Pidge standing feet away, staring at the wall above Lily's shoulder. His grey eyes were unyielding and Lily took a wobbling breath. James seemed relieved that the shock of their Professor had made her sobs subside quickly. Professor Pidge sensed Lily's hopelessness without even having to see it.

"Stop crying girl," Pigeon snapped next, "Be thankful for what you have."

Pigeon's snap made James angry and he tugged Lily into his chest possessively, declaring, "She's damn well allowed to cry over her best friend."

Pigeon was not charmed by James' spite, "Potter escort Evans to class before I give the both of you detention for being late."

James took Lily's arm and helped her into the classroom, Professor Pidge following behind. He wasn't slamming his walking stick into the ground like he normally did. Instead, he was clearing his throat, earning the attention from everyone in the room. James helped Lily into her seat and then took Marlene's chair so that Lily wasn't alone. Lily was thankful he had enough sense to stay by her side and she lowered her head without shame into his shoulder.

"Death follows everyone in this room." Professor Pidge's cane hit the teacher's desk, alerting him he'd arrived to his seat, "Never has the wizarding world been so full of hate and disorder, not even when Grindlewald was wrecking havoc." Pidge's face was pale as Lily wiped more tears from her cheeks, "Marlene McKinnon's family will not be the first nor the last to be affected by these tragic times."

Lily wasn't the only one crying now, Maria Merryweather sniffled not too far away.

"As your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher you all assume it is my duty to teach you how to protect yourselves but that is no one else's obligation but your own. You owe it to yourselves to research and keep up with the shifting powers in our world. You want to change the world? You've got to change it yourself because no one is going to hold your hand once you're on the streets. So, tell me kids, how do you stop an attacking Dementor?"

Around Lily, the students all looked around at each other, not having an answer. The windows of the classroom flashed from lightening and a few kids jumped in their seats. Even the air was drafty and unwelcoming. Lily didn't want to talk but it was obvious no one knew the answer to Pidge's question. She'd known the question only because of her fascination with charmwork.

"The Patronus Charm." Lily said aloud from the crook of James' arm.

"Very good Evans!" Professor Pidge leered and startled Lily with his praise, "The only way to combat a dementor and live is by use of the powerful patronus charm!"

James looked positively chuffed at Lily, his smile reaching both sides of his cheeks as he nudged her thigh cheerfully. Lily grinned into her tears; not fully appreciating that Professor Pidge had finally given her a _real_ compliment. Pidge's grey eyes rotated as he turned his head around the dark room.

"Anyone here want to try it?"

The students looked around at each other and then finally, Tommy Coons stood up. Sirius was even leaning forward in his chair with attentiveness. Lily was surprised none of James' mates had jumped at the chance to try.

"I'll try." Coons declared.

Professor Pidge beckoned his walking stick in the air, "Proceed with the words: _Exspecto Patronum_."

Tommy raised his crooked wand, pointing it at the dark chalkboard in the back of the room, " _Exspecto patronum_!"

Nothing happened. Lily brushed her tears from her eyes and looked back at Professor Pidge who was _laughing_ , actually laughing. It sounded like nothing Lily had ever heard before, almost like a mixture between a braying donkey and a pig. The sound brought a change to almost every face in the room. When Lily's eyes turned back to Tommy Coons he was embarrassed and staring at his wand, bewildered.

"Sit down Coons," Pidge said between breathes of laughter, "No one could do that on the first try, it can take years to master."

"Thanks for the warning." Coons looked put out and miserable.

Coons sat down and Merryweather tapped him helpfully on the back, glaring at Pidge for being so mean. Pidge stopped chuckling enough to knock his stick against the wooden desk firmly. The students had gotten used to his walking stick hitting various surfaces and no one jumped. James and Lily listened with interest, Lily vaguely aware of James' fingers plays with her hair.

"The Patronus Charm is exceptionally difficult to produce. Even I cannot produce a corporeal Patronus." Professor Pidge smiled, his pale face loosing its age with every toothy grin, "Of course, that can't stop me from teaching you kids how to do it."

"You're going to teach us?" Sirius sounded doubtful and Lily couldn't blame him, it's not like Pidge had ever tried to teach them anything before.

"I'll attempt to get something through your thick head." Hearing the excited buzz through the room Professor Pidge added, "I doubt any of you will successfully produce a patronus."

"He's bluffing." Sirius whispered across the aisle to James, "I can tell, he's starting to like us."

"Mr. Black." Pigeon snapped James' desk with his walking stick, "No talking when I'm talking."

"Whatever you say Pigeon."

"Detention Black." Professor Pidge, "You get to wash all my blackboards by hand."

Sirius, who served more detentions than Lily could count on two hands, simply beamed at the threat. Lily knew why, Professor Pidge didn't use his blackboards so they were mostly spotless. No doubt Sirius was imagining that Professor Pidge wasn't entirely bitter about the nickname.

Pidge continued talking for another forty minutes about how the spell would be difficult. It was clear that the patronus charm as a complex bit of magic that would require a lot of time and patience. Lily, who excelled at charms, hoped it'd come a little easier for her.

Pidge had everyone move the desks against the wall of the classroom. The students stood in an arch, each practicing the words for the patronus charm. Lily stood in between James and Sirius, mouthing the words along with them. No one had silvery wisps come out of their wands and near the end of class Pidge had everyone stop and listen to him again.

"The trick is to imagine something happy." Pidge told them, "Something that makes you feel like you can fly."

"No wonder he can't produce one," Peter muttered to James behind Lily, "The bloke is emotionally oppressed."

James laughed so Lily nudged James in the side and he huffed at her pretentious glare. Pidge walked around the classroom as the students tried again, his cane occasionally hitting some of them. Lily thought of fishing in the summers and ice cream on the boardwalk; she thought of sunny days and swing sets; she thought of everything that made her happy and yet no silver wisp escaped her wand.

At Lily's side James kept muttering the words quidditch and Sirius was looking rather confounded at his happy thoughts. Others in the classroom seemed as defeated as Lily. Coons was slashing his wand through the air angrily now.

"What are you thinking of?" Pidge shouted through the classroom, "Coons?"

Coons replied back hastily, "I quite like hunting wild boar, Professor. It makes me happy."

"Hunting wild boar is the exact opposite of what you should be thinking," Pidge was deeply offended by Coons and made it known with a snort, "A Patronus is built off of _pure_ ecstasy, not childish hobbies like hunting." Pidge turned around circle and shouted at Maria next.

Maria waved her wand once more before answering, "I was thinking of my kitten back home."

"Think of a memory, not _things_!" Pidge demanded next, "think of memories that make you feel like your bloody feet will rise off the ground, you're so happy!"

"Orgasmic level happiness." Sirius snickered to Peter beside Lily, "Hard to come by."

Lily ignored the boy's and sighed as she failed yet another attempt at the charm. It was hard to be happy when the world around was so grey. Finally the bell rang and released the students from trying the patronus charm.

"Class dismissed!" Pigeon announced, "Everyone work on your bloody memories. It'll take a lot more than kittens and wild boars to produce a corporeal patronus."

Pidge surprised Lily when he called for her to stay behind after she collected her things. She stood by his desk, right beside him; aware James was waiting just on the other side of the doorway. Pidge was pushing some papers around his desk absentmindedly.

"McKinnon is your friend, is she not?" he asked gracelessly.

"Yes sir." Lily replied after a deep breathe, "My best friend."

"I worked with her parents at the Ministry." Professor Pidge said, "Give the girl my best wishes for their restful sleep."

Lily blinked emotionally at her Professor, who she was so sure was simply a bastard, yet here he was being—less so. Professor Pidge used his cane to walk towards the direction of the door. He walked with a sense of purpose that Lily had never seen before. Lily knew Marlene's parents worked at the Department of Mysteries. Marlene often complained when they were younger about how her parents would disappear for days on end.

"Professor?" Lily called when he was already halfway out the door.

"Questions are over with today Miss Evans." He responded gruffly.

"Were you always uh—I mean to ask if you—" she stumbled on her wording and she was surprised when he chuckled darkly.

"No," he replied gruffly before leaving her standing in the empty classroom feeling incredibly small, "I wasn't always blind."

"What do you reckon?" James asked when Lily met him and the others outside in the hallway.

"What kind of mystery do you think he was studying that he went blind?" Lily whispered to James, even though Professor Pidge was nowhere to be seen in the hallway.

"I don't know about Pigeon." James whispered back, "He's a bit of an old codger, now come on. Sirius and Remus are saving us seats for lunch."

"I think he's starting to like us." Lily took James' hand and they walked together.

"Who?"

"Pigeon, of course."

"I still think he's planning on poisoning the both of us." James replied scathingly, "He's just luring us into a false sense of security."

The rest of their Friday went by too quickly. The only thing Lily had to do that night was go to Slughorn's party, something she didn't feel very festive for. Normally Lily dragged Marlene or Mary to the Slug Club parties but Marlene was gone and Mary was hanging out with her mysterious Hufflepuff friend again. As much as Lily wished James would go with her, she didn't have the gall to ask him for such a big favor. James was no fan of Slughorn or Slug Club. Lily also considered Remus but somehow she knew Remus was probably as into the idea of Slug Club as any other member of James' crew.

Lily got changed from her school uniform into periwinkle dress robes she borrowed from Ingrid. Ingrid was taller than Lily so the robes hung past her toes but it was the best Lily could do since her parents couldn't afford to buy her nice clothes. Ingrid even offered Lily her favorite silver headband fashioned with peacock feathers.

"You can tell everyone you're a bird." Ingrid told Lily from her mattress, "Since it's Halloween tomorrow."

Lily let her red hair frame her face instead of pulling it up. Her wrists were decorated with bangles and her eye makeup was dramatic, if only because it was Halloween and Lily loved any excuse to dress up. Even still, it was quite depressing to think she'd be spending the night alone. Lily went down to the common room already checking her borrowed wristwatch to see if she could somehow make time speed forward so she wouldn't have to go through the night.

It took her five seconds to notice the tall boy standing in black dress robes at the bottom of the girls' staircase. She almost ran into him but it was his echoing "wow" that made her pause on the staircase in wonder. James stared at her in wonder, hazel eyes scraping up her dress robes and falling on her face. Lily herself appreciated his crisp robes, smiling when she saw he was wiggling his fingers against his side nervously.

"What are you doing?" Lily asked, brushing at her dress robes as James walked forward looking quite dashing with his hair falling into his glasses.

"Taking you on our first date." He replied, "Not quite the hip place I imagined, but it'll do."

Lily smiled excitedly, "You're going to Slughorn's party with me?"

"Of course," he outstretched his hand, "I look for any excuse to show off that I'm snogging the prettiest, smartest, most talented witch in all of Hogwarts."

"Smartest and prettiest?" Lily mocked, "You're full of compliments tonight."

"Sirius gave me a few date tips."

"Was one of them to wear dress robes fresh from the box?" Lily asked of his crisp uniform.

James admitted playfully as she came to stand next to him, "he said I needed to dress to impress."

Lily tormented him with a playful tug to his dress robes, "You sure do clean up nice."

"You look much nicer."

He eyes the dress robes again, allowing her to get a good look at his hair. Lily saw he had it brushed to one side of his face, a look she'd ever seen from him. Normally his hair stood up on each end and played a game of it's own.

"I don't think I've ever seen you with your hair brushed."

James' free hand automatically went to his hair, a tense habit he could probably never break, "Was it too much?" he asked worriedly, "Peter convinced me to do it."

Lily leaned on her tiptoes and let her fingers run through the strands, encouraging a bit more chaos. James closed his eyes and smiled in appreciation of her ministrations. When she finally deemed his hair normal, the couple left the common room arm in arm. James was wearing aftershave and smelled so nice that she kept leaning her head towards him. Her night already looked up, just by his surprise appearance.

By the time they made it to the classroom where Sughorn held all his parties, Lily was quite content. James kept his arm wrapped firmly around her shoulders, their hands still connected. James free hand opened the curtains that led into the dimly lit room filled to the brim with floating pumpkins and black and orange streamers. The classroom walls were covered in silver drapes and house elves pranced around in tea cozies, offering up champagne and cheeses. Jack-o-lanterns hung from the ceiling and created a warm glow over the many bodies pressed into the classroom.

"Is this Slug Club?" he hissed into her ear, "Or a Ministry Banquet?"

Lily shrugged, "Slughorn never does anything halfway."

"Lily!" Slughorn had spotted her and pushed past a few of the Hufflepuff's he was speaking to in order to reach out for her with both hands, "How lovely!"

Lily ripped herself from James' embrace in order to hug her Professor kindly. Slughorn only hung onto her for moments before he realized who had been attached to Lily's side. James shifted in his shoes uncomfortably when Lily and Slughorn stared, obviously paranoid about his involvement in the club.

"Well bless my soul," Slughorn hissed, "James Potter is that you?"

"Hey Sluggy." James said awkwardly, "How are ya?"

"James!" Slughorn seemed overjoyed at the addition of the Gryffindor Head Boy and stuck out a pudgy hand, "Put it there, son!"

James shook Slughorn's hand and Lily bit back a smile when she saw the red flush appearing on James' neck. Slughorn looked as though Lily told him she was bringing the Minister of Magic himself.

"I've been trying to get you to attend one of my parties for ages!" Slughorn exclaimed, "Why the sudden change of mind?"

In order to make James more comfortable, Lily wrapped both her arms around James' bicep, pulling him into her side. She leaned her head on his shoulder and let Slughorn eye the couple with great perplexity. Slughorn's beady eyes zeroed in on their intertwining hands and raised his bushy eyebrows.

"Oh ho!" Slughorn clapped his hands and then he beamed at Lily, "Or maybe I should say change of heart?"

Lily muttered, "You could say that." And sent James a shy smile that he returned tenfold.

"How long have you been seeing each other?" Slughorn chatted, looking quite charmed, "Surely not long?"

"Just about a week?"

Lily wondered if James was just as warm as she was. Everyone close enough was watching Slughorn fawn over the couple. James was definitely happier with her pressed against his side. His grip only tightened as Slughorn continued gushing about their apparent relationship. James explained that it was their first date and Slughorn went into another bout of hysterics, blessed to have been a part of the momentous occasion.

"With the Hogsmede trip cancelled I had to think of something." James admitted, half to Slughorn and half to Lily, "I didn't want to let the opportunity slip through the cracks."

"Adorable." Slughorn looked thrilled, "Well you two have fun, introduce yourselves to everyone. I have a lot of Ministry connections in tonight."

As Slughorn waddled away James broke leaned down down and whispered in her ear, "Hear that?" she felt him smile against her ear, "We're _adorable_."

"I heard him." She tried to sound exasperated but the half smile on her face gave her away as James guided them towards a house elf so he could grab two glasses of champagne.

"For you."

He tipped one glass towards her and Lily used her free hand to lightly grasp the glass filled with bubbly. They clicked the tops of their glasses against each other with shared smiles before taking a sip and looking out at the room. There was a small band playing a fiddle and a flute, the music light and airy as students milled about. Lily was happy to see that all her help planning the party hadn't been a waste; most of the kids appeared to be having fun.

"Are we the only Gryffindor's?" James asked suddenly, seeming surprised.

"No," Lily told him as she swayed to the music, "There's a sixth year member and a third year that joined last month."

"Still," James muttered, hazel eyes scanning the bodies, "A lot of Ravenclaws and Slytherins around here."

"Slughorn promotes inter-house unity." Lily told James before drowning her whole glass of champagne.

"He also told you that you'd be a better Slytherin than Gryffindor." James snorted, also finishing off his champagne.

"The green robes would certainly not clash as much as the red ones do with my hair." Lily jested as she passed off her empty glass to a house elf.

"You'd also be one hundred percent less attractive to me as a Slytherin."

"You're so—"

"Proud?" James suggested playfully, "Loyal to my house?"

"Biased." Lily said lamely and he laughed.

"You've got me there." He winked, "But I was lying, no matter what color robes you wore—I'd still be utterly infatuated with you."

She flushed and stared at her shoes.

James took both her hands unexpectedly, "Let's dance."

"You can dance?" Lily inquired, her face warm from the champagne and her heart soaring as James swept her arms into his elegantly.

"No." he sent her a goofy smile, "But I can try."

Try he did. James moved her in lots of large circles so that her hair was swinging about her shoulders dramatically. She was giggling with each theatrical dip and winking at him with every playful shimmy. In his arms, Lily briefly forgot about Marlene because she was so caught up in James.

He was positively bonkers and she loved that about him. One second he could be complaining about the lack of Gryffindor's at the party and the next he could be making her feel like the world revolved only around them.

When they finished dancing and were sampling some of the cheese some people stopped to talk to Lily. Amanda Sheehan spent quite a long time telling Lily how upset she was about the canceled Hogsmede trip and Lily spent equally as long trying to appease the third year Ravenclaw. James himself seemed rather bored with the whole event and Lily couldn't blame him, it wasn't his kind of party. Even when they'd been dancing, a few people stared at the couple in disapproval. Slughorn kept checking in to make sure James was having fun and James always managed a convincing _yes_ even though Lily knew he was only at the party for her sake.

Knowing that James hated it and knowing he was doing it for her, Lily finished her third glass of champagne before wrapping her arms around his neck and pecking him on the cheek. When she pulled back to smile at her she saw his smile was twice as wide as it had been. James admired her, fingers playing with the peacock feathers in her hair. Lily couldn't place the warm feeling in her stomach as they stared at each other but she knew she was happier with him than she'd been all day.

"Thank you." She told him, "I know this isn't your idea of fun."

"It's fine." He reached out to tuck a strand of her red hair behind her hair, "I told you before, I'd do whatever you wanted for our first date."

Lily sighed, "I didn't want this as our first date." She admitted, "You really had me going for butterbeer at the Shrieking Shack."

"I mean—if you still wanted to do that—" he said hastily, "I can make it happen."

Lily pushed his glasses up his nose for him before answering, "Next month." She promised, "At least let me appreciate you wearing dress robes for a little while longer."

"Have you ever seen anything more disgusting?" a voice sneered to their left, a voice Lily recognized.

Lily felt James rip from her arms and in an instant he had his wand pointing at Mulciber, who stood next to Severus Snape. They were staring at Lily and James with sallow eyes and wicked glares. Lily grabbed James' outstretched arm and yanked it down, sending her own scowl to Mulciber and Snape.

"They're not worth your time of day James." Lily reminded him and James' shoulders shook under her touch, "Put your wand away."

"You heard your girlfriend." Snape lauded to James even though his eyes were trapped on Lily, "Wand away."

"Back off Snape," Lily snapped at the boy threateningly, surprising him with her livid tone, "Or you'll be seeing the end of my wand as well."

Lily snapping at Snape seemed to break James out of his moment of intended wrath. James shoved his wand back into his pockets before wrapping an arm around her affectionately. James dragged them away from the leering Slytherin's and Lily had to give James points for walking away because she wanted to send them both to the Hospital Wing.

"Mulciber thinks we're digesting?" Lily hissed angrily as they headed back towards the band, "That's _rich_ coming from the resident Hogwarts muggleborn assaulter."

"His family is even more twisted than Sirius' family." James told her as he led them to the back of the party against the silver drapes, "No doubt he's planning on joining the Death Eaters once he leaves Hogwarts."

Lily wrinkled her nose at the thought of the evil wizards who tortured muggles like Lily's parents for fun. The rest of the night, Lily was unhappy. She felt like Mulciber and Snape had sucked all the fun out of her night. Even James was sullen. Lily spotted him sending glares over to where the Slytherin's congregated multiple times. Finally, after the candles had sunk low in the jack-o-lanterns, Lily gave up trying to enjoy the party.

"This is no fun." Lily complained, "Can we leave?"

"I thought you'd never ask." James admitted truthfully, leading her to the doorway without second thought.

When they got back to the common room the only students awake were some fifth years studying by the fire. James guided her up the boy's staircase and Lily thought they were going to spend time with the other boys but James surprised her when he pulled her into an alcove that harbored a window. He leaned himself up against the cold glass that overlooked the great lake before pulling her into his arms. She looked up at him expectantly, letting her fingers twist into the hair at the nape of his neck.

"I already feel loads better, being out of those dungeons." Lily said appreciatively.

"Me too." He whispered, eyes glancing down to her lilac dress robes, "I forgot to tell you that you look amazing tonight."

She smiled, "You don't look half bad yourself Potter." She reached up to ruffle his hair again, "After seven years I've accepted the messy look."

James laughed and wrinkled his nose, "I never would've thought, Lily Evans, complimenting my hair after our first date."

"Our next date we're both wearing slacks." Lily warned, "I'm not dressing up like this again for a long time."

James pressed his nose against hers and declared, "You could show up in a potato sack and I wouldn't care as long as we get another date."

Before she could cleverly retort he kissed her, pulling her into his person more firmly at the waist. His mouth was familiar now and she met each devotional pull with a lustful push of her own. With her eyes closed she was more away of other things, like how his hands were gone from her waist and traveling up to cradle her face. James' ands weren't good at staying put in one spot because no sooner had he readjusted her lips, his fingers were dragging through her hair, knocking Ingrid's headband to the ground.

Lily couldn't find herself the will to pull away and instead stepped closer, her fingers gripping the strands from his hair desperately as his tongue slowly passed over her lips when she pulled away to breathe. At her involuntary shudder, James' lips crashed back to hers, sweeping her farther into his hold. His hands were everywhere and it drove her mad, wishing he could focus on kissing her instead of wandering her body greedily. Finally she grabbed his hands with her own and dragged them in-between them.

He chuckled and pulled away from her, breathing like he'd won a quidditch match, "What's wrong?"

"You won't stop moving your hands."

"I can think of other things they'd rather be doing." his reply made her toes curl and her eyelids to flutter open as his hands brushed against the front of the dress robes enticingly.

He opened one and then the other when he saw the look on her face, "Is that a no?" he laughed impishly, "come on Lil, I can't help but want to appreciate every inch of you." He waggled his eyebrows and she couldn't help but break under his mischievous look.

"Do you often try to charm the clothes of your dates?"

"Just you." He crooned with a gentle sort of smile as he brushed her hair back again.

She shook her head at him, "You're trouble, you are."

James pressed his lips against hers, making a dramatic popping sound when he pulled away again, "Obviously." He agreed, "But you like me anyways."

"Who says I like you?" but her grin suggested otherwise.

"You." He said boldly, "When you brought up wanting a second date."

"I was lying."

He forced a laugh and then leaned down to press his lips eagerly against her neck, sucking at her skin playfully, "You weren't _lying_." He scoffed as he nibbled into her skin.

She hummed her disagreement, unable to say anything with his mouth creating scorching marks across her bare skin. Their squabble was forgotten when he turned her so that her back was pressed against the cool windowpanes. Lily's hands had made their way back into his hair, the strands feeling like silk in her fingers. She could've stood there and let James kiss her until sunlight streamed through the panes but finally, when James' mouth had slowed and returned to her lips, the sound of other male voices broke them apart. A few fifth years ran down the stairs past their window alcove, not noticing the couple as they tossed each other a fanged Frisbee. Lily sighed as James grumbled and finally got off her, allowing cold air to seep between them. She readjusted her dress robes as she leaned down to grab Ingrid's ruffled headband.

When she stood up straight again James was considering her with dark eyes.

"What?" she asked him.

"I still fancy the Hell out of you Evans."

Unlike the last time he'd declared it, this time, Lily's heart soared. Even after the awful Slug Club party, even after the canceled plans, James _still_ fancied her. Lily colored as she placed the headband back into her hair, aware that her heartbeat was so fast she could hear it thudding in her chest. James grabbed her hands when they fell from her hair. She looked up at him adoringly.

He asked, "What are you thinking?"

"I fancy you too."

Lily was surprised she was able to escape James's hold after that, his lips crashing against hers without any uncertainty.

When she snuck back into the dorm room later that night, Lily was thankful all her friends were asleep in their beds. Mary's curtains were drawn shut and Ingrid was whispering in her sleep. Susan's curtains were wide open, lightening from the storm outside lightening up her pale skin when it flashed. Lily's eyes skidded over to Marlene's empty mattress and felt a pang of guilt.

 _How could she be so happy?_

Lily shouldn't have been glowing with the excitement of new relationships. Marlene's parents were dead and Lily didn't feel right to be so happy when she knew it was likely that Marlene was miserable. Lily sobered straightaway, the effects of James' kissing wearing away with each passing second. As Lily got dressed for bed she made her way to the shared loo to wash off all her makeup.

The mirror showed her that James' mouth hadn't been sympathetic to her pale skin. Pink marks littered their way across her collarbone and parts of her neck. She covered them with her hair and flushed desperately as she imagined what everyone would say when they saw the marks in the morning. She tried not to imagine the comments Marlene would've sent her way. She tried not to think of Marlene at all, but it was hard. Being back in the dorm and not in James' arms only reminded Lily that her best friend wasn't around.

Lily hoped that Marlene would reach out soon; she didn't know how much longer she could go without falling asleep to Marlene's snores.

* * *

 **Next Time:**

James smirked, "Well, you know you'd actually have to be _happy_ for the charm to work."

"I know all where your _happy_ thoughts are kept." Sirius reasoned with a snide sneer at Lily, "Since I unfortunately have to sleep in the same dorm as you."

* * *

 **Thank you for waiting for this update. I didn't get the promotion but that's okay, loosing it was a blessing in disguise because now I can be closer to my family. Expect an  update next thursday and a few new jily one shots in the next few weeks! **

**all my love,**

 **petals**


	8. To Be Human

_8_

 _Can you help me not to care?_

 _Every breath becomes a prayer_

 _Take this pain from me_

 _And though you're so far now_

 _To be human is to love_

Defense Against the Dark Arts was proving to be difficult. Everyone was busy trying to produce a corporeal patronus or even a fraction of a corporeal patronus. Lily spent most classes listening to Professor Pidge complain about the Ministry of Magic, the only part of his lectures she really enjoyed. It turned out that Pigeon was quite the Ministry hater and she really couldn't figure out why, besides hating their Minister of Magic.

Sirius, Peter, James, and Remus were all trying to beat each other to get a corporeal patronus first. James was the closest in Lily's opinion; his silver mist was almost taking shape. Sirius was right behind James (if only because he was determined not to lose) with Peter in steady third. It was Remus who had the most trouble and Lily thought he wasn't even trying but she couldn't blame him because she wasn't trying either. Lily had more fun watching Sirius and James compete than anything.

"You have to mean it." Pigeon barked at James one Friday afternoon after everyone came into class excited for the Quidditch Match on Sunday, "You have to think you're high on glee! You have to be firm in your convictions! You have to _want_ it!"

Beside Lily, James was concentrating as he pointed his wand in the middle of the group. Sirius was just as resolute, his tongue at the corner of his mouth as he waved his wand in the proper direction. Remus was sitting back against a desk, not bothering to raise his wand.

"Don't hurt yourself Sirius." Remus provoked his friend, "If you keep thinking that hard you might detonate your brain."

"He's got a brain?" Peter scoffed and yelped when Sirius swung his wand in an arch and sent red sparks Peter's way.

"I've got to beat Prongs..." Sirius used the odd nickname given to James by his friends, too concentrated to notice he'd used it around Lily.

She'd figured out pretty quickly that the boys call called James, Prongs, affectionately. She was pretty sure Peter was called wormy and James shouted Moony when Remus murdered him in wizard's chess two night before. She still hadn't made any connection to the nicknames, despite the boys using them.

James was twirling his wand in his fingers to reset his posture, "I'll get the corporeal faster than you Sirius."

"And why's that?" Sirius jeered.

"You know, you actually have to be _happy_ for it to work?" James winked and Sirius snarled.

"I know where all your happy thoughts are kept." Sirius reasoned with a snide sneer at Lily, "Since I unfortunately have to sleep in the same dorm as you."

Remus and Peter laughed and James slashed his wand in the air at Sirius out of annoyance. One thing Lily was certain of was that she didn't know how the boys hadn't killed each other after seven years. Lily decided to intervene.

"Sirius stop being a prat."

James stuck his tongue out at Sirius before Lily rounded on the Head Boy.

"And you, you leave Sirius alone too."

"Yes mum."

They both rolled their eyes simultaneously and then winked at each other. James and Sirius went right back to trying to beat each other in their corporeal patronus. Lily sighed, sometimes they were so much like brothers she wondered if they really _were_ blood related despite having different last names. She waved her own wand half-heartedly, only to shake herself out of her funk so she could focus on the task at hand. Lily was just about as good as Sirius with her charm but where he was staying the same, her silver lights were steadily getting better and better.

Secretly, she was hoping to beat all the boys just to shut them up.

Little whips of silver came out of her wand but nothing that she could imagine was an animal from. She wondered what her animal would be. Pigeon said it'd be a reflection on your soul, whatever that meant. Lily bit her lip and twirled her wand in her fingers, ready to give it another go.

Suddenly, James leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, leaving a trail of fire on her cheek that raced to her fingertips. She sent him a little smile before trying the patronus again and that's when there was a quick sharp bit of silver light that cut across the classroom. It came from her wand.

It was so quick Lily almost wondered if it was real and then Professor Pidge asked, "Anyone feel that?"

"Didn't feel it but I saw it." James cheered, slapping Lily on the back, "Way to go, babe."

"Babe?" Lily raised an eyebrow at him and he sheepishly closed his mouth.

"What was it?" Maria Merryweather exclaimed eagerly, "A rabbit? It bounded really fast!"

"It was only a shot of light." Sirius said, "Not corporeal."

Lily hugged herself as Professor Pidge clapped leisurely, "Very nice charmwork Miss Evans, maybe we'll actually get a corporeal patronus in this classroom before Christmas if you keep up the good work."

"How'd you do it?" Sirius complained as she and the boys walked to lunch, "I was _way_ ahead of you."

"I don't know," Lily confessed to Sirius, "It just happened. I probably won't be able to do it again."

James reasoned, "If you've done it already Lily, you can definitely do it again. Ignore Sirius, he's a sore loser."

"Ah!" Sirius shook his finger at them, "She didn't win yet! She didn't do a corporeal patronus! That was the deal!"

"Lily's closer to a corporeal patronus than you." Peter snickered and Sirius punched Peter in the arm.

"It's cause she's a charms nerd." Sirius growled as Lily and James shared secret smiles, "If this were Transfiguration, I'd whoop her arse."

"Life isn't a competition Sirius." Lily told the boy haughtily as James leaned behind her to laugh so Sirius couldn't see him.

"Life _is_ a competition Lily." Sirius stuck his nose in the air.

"Just ignore him." Remus told Lily with a half a glare, "He's being a bitter sob."

"You lot are the _worst_." Sirius commented deprecatingly, but there was affection behind his tone and Lily smiled because she knew that Sirius didn't mean it.

The lunch crowd had formed in the Great Hall. The voices rising together made it hard for Lily to hear Mary's small voice, calling from the other side of the doors. Ultimately, James nudged Lily and pointed her in the direction of Mary who was waving frantically. James wrapped an arm around Lily's waist, helping pull her through the crowd towards Mary.

"Thanks James." Mary actually thanked him sincerely for capturing Lily's attention.

"No problem." James replied sweetly, "It's pretty crazy right now."

Mary turned her brown eyes to Lily, "Professor McGonagall's sent for us."

"Really?" Lily frowned, "During our lunch?"

"We're supposed to see her after Charms." Mary told Lily as students pushed past the talking trio, "Do you think Marlene is okay?"

Lily's heart jumped a beat, "I hope so."

"You want to eat lunch with us Mary?" James offered.

"Thanks," Mary couldn't hide her sneer, "But I'll sit with my friends."

Lily laughed when she saw James' frown. She patted his arm as they followed Mary into the Great Hall.

"I'm nothing but nice to her!" James complained as Mary sat with Ingrid and Sue.

"Give her time." Lily told James, "She hates change and you're a big change."

Both Mary and Lily had a hard time keeping focus the rest of the day. James convinced Lily to skip Advanced Potions and they took a short walk around the lake in the blistering cold November weather. Finally charms class was dismissed and Lily and Mary sprinted for Professor McGonagall's office hand in hand.

"You sent for us Professor?"

Lily and Mary were both wearing worried expressions as they entered Professor McGonagall's office. McGonagall sat at her desk grading papers, her hazel eyes looking up when Lily announced their arrival. McGonagall wore an emerald robe set that seemed to glow in the sunshine filtering through her window. Outside the window Lily saw the Quidditch Pitch, empty of flyers until after dinner when teams would be practicing.

Professor McGonagall placed her quill down, "Ladies, please come in and shut the door."

Mary pulled on her brown braid worriedly as Lily turned and shut the door behind them, leaving them alone with their Professor. The room was disguised as a mini library with books on Transfiguration and Quidditch. The books made little pedestals for a couple plants sprouting little red flowers. Of all the teacher's offices Lily found Professor McGonagall's to be the most homely.

Professor McGonagall cleared her throat, "I received an owl from Marlene McKinnon."

Mary perked up first, "How is she?"

McGonagall signaled to two chairs on the side of her office. Lily took Mary over to them and the pair sat down expectantly. Lily bit her lip and straightened her school skirt as she awaited news of Marlene. The concerned lines on McGonagall's face were apparent in the sunlight.

"Miss McKinnon requested that you two be released from school for the next three days." McGonagall said, "She wishes for you to attended her parents funeral in Lancashire."

"Please," Lily begged McGonagall quickly, "Please let us go."

Professor McGonagall replied sternly, "I just need you both to understand that leaving Hogwarts will result in you missing classes and study time."

"We'll catch up." Mary said and Lily nodded firmly, "Please let us go be with Marlene."

"She's our best friend." Lily added, "We want to help her."

"Of course," Professor McGonagall folded her hands over her papers, "I had no intention of keeping you both here. I just needed to make sure you both understood you'd miss classes and could fall behind." When Lily and Mary both nodded Professor McGonagall added, "And the trip will also have to come out of your pockets."

"What?" Lily felt her heart drop.

"Marlene's worked with Dumbledore to provide you both with a safe floo network travel tonight." McGonagall enlightened, "The Knight Bus will return all three of you to Hogwarts."

Lily faltered while Mary continued nodding. Lily didn't have any spare change to pay for a ticket for the Knight Bus. How was she going to get sickles last minute for a bus fare? She couldn't ask Mary, whose family struggled with money too. Lily didn't want to ask Marlene for any favors either, not with everything going on.

Worry riddled Lily as she and Mary walked back to the Gryffindor common room to pack their things. McGonagall told them to return to her office within the next three hours for their floo powder. Lily didn't know what to do. She was going to get to Marlene's but she didn't know how she'd get the money to come back to Hogwarts.

She'd barely made it to the girls' staircase when Sirius caught her eye in the corner of the room. He was reading a muggle magazine, cool grey eyes skimming the pages before glancing around the room like he was waiting on someone. Lily assumed it was James, since he was nowhere to be found. It was their free period and Lily knew he'd been scheduled on rounds.

Sirius stood up and walked over to her, Lily paused on the steps. Mary looked down the stairs when Lily stopped following her. Mary's eyes skimmed over Sirius before turning away and continuing up the stairs. She wasn't a fan of Sirius either.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked Lily, "You look awful. James mentioned McGonagall wanted to talk to you."

"Marlene." Lily said quietly.

Lines developed on his forehead, "Is McKinnon alright?"

"She wants Mary and I to go to her parent funeral." Lily told Sirius in undertones as other Gryffindor's passed them on the staircase.

"And?" Sirius seemed confused, "Aren't you happy you get to see her?"

Red flashed across her cheeks, "I don't think I'll be able to go."

"Why not?" Sirius leaned against the bannister to stare at her, "Marlene wants you there. Is it one of the Professors?"

"No." she cut him off, "I just can't—" she stared at her shoes, "I can't afford to the ticket back."

"James gets back from rounds soon." Sirius stepped forward and placed a hand on her shoulder, "He always keeps spare pocket change."

Lily's eyes were watering as she shook her head determinedly, "I don't want to take his money."

"It's fine." Sirius tried convincing her, "You're going to have to take it. Marlene shouldn't have to be alone when something so simple can be fixed."

"Marlene won't be alone, she'll have Mary." Lily argued, "I just can't borrow money. It's so embarrassing."  
"If Mr. and Miss Potter died tomorrow," Sirius said earnestly, "James would expect all of us to show up—not just one of us. Take the bloody money when he offers it Lily."

He turned back to the fireplace and Lily sighed before following Sirius. She slammed down next to him on the couch, eyes staring into the flickering sparks in the fireplace. James arrived twenty minutes later with Remus at his side. James noticed something was wrong immediately based on her expression and came over to the couch, falling to his knees in front of her.

"What did McGonagall want?"

Before Lily could say anything Sirius spoke without looking up from his magazine, "She's going to visit Marlene and needs some spare ticket fare."

"No—" Lily tried to say but it was too late.

James shot up, looking to be on a mission and Lily jumped up too. Sirius sent her a glare, obviously annoyed by her immediate protest. She kicked a pillow that fell off the couch with her haste.

"Wait, James."

She followed the Head Boy up the boys' staircase, trying to get him to stop, but he ignored her. Lily huffed as she followed him into the room flanking to the common room. It had five, four posters, each a different level of chaotic. James led Lily to the bed closest to the door. Lily realized it was his mattress only thanks to the spare glasses resting on the bedside table. He also had several quidditch and transfiguration books stacked on the side. His trunk was open wide at the base of the bed.

James leaned down into the trunk, "I assume they're making you take the Knight Bus."

"Only on our way back. We're flooing there."

She was surprised when he pulled a small coin purse from the inside of his trunk. She watched as he pulled five golden galleons from it.

"Stop." She squeaked, "James that's so much money."

James rolled his eyes and held out the coins to her, "It's nothing Lily."

"It's _five_ galleons." Lily mumbled remorsefully, "James that's _over_ twenty sickles."

"You can give me the spare change back if it bothers you that much." James stepped forward and forced her hand open to drop the heavy gold coins in her palm, closing his fingers around both, "It's _fine_." He said firmly when she opened her mouth to argue again.

Water flooded her eyes as she murmured, "Thank you."

James smiled and pressed his lips to her forehead, "I'm going to miss you."

"It's only for three days." She couldn't help relaxing against his lips, "Thank you for helping."

"Three days." He exhaled, "I've gotten quite used to having you at my beck and call."

Lily laughed and looked up as he chuckled back while lifting his hand so he could brush a strand of hair from her eyes. She saw his hazel eyes trace her face, she watched his glasses side down his nose as he tilted his head at her. She knew the words that would come out of his mouth next.

"Still fancy me?" he whispered and she hummed her promise.

Lily might not believe in love at first sight or any other shite like that, but she believed in chemistry and there was no denying she and James had it. Every touch, every move he made was perfectly calculated to rile her up. Lily was biting back her scathing comment to just kiss her and get it over with. Something about James made her heart beat faster. Sure, he was trouble but Lily liked that, she _liked_ his sly smiles.

He was pompously grinning only inches away from her lips while they stared at each other. It was like he wanted to infuriate her and she was about to kiss him herself when he suddenly grabbed her arm and pulled her into his person.

"Do you still fancy me?" she teased before his lips crashed against hers.

A purely lustful journey, his hands traced up her sides before he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, holding her in one place. She couldn't help feeling tickled as he kissed her because he kissed her so deliberately, pressing his lips only to pull them away languidly so she'd reciprocate by leaning her face closer to his.

Lily's eyes were closed so she didn't see anything except stars when he used his teeth to tease her lips and was using his tongue to elicit a greater reaction from her. It didn't take long for her fingers to wrap themselves in the stands of hair at the base of his neck. His feet nudged hers, making her back up until her back was firmly planted against one of the posts on his bed. She was the one pressing her hips into his so readily and she was the one who kept dragging his lips back to hers when he tried to wander to her jaw.

James managed to say a few words when she broke away, her chest heaving, "is that a good enough answer?"

Lily brought his mouth back to hers. When he laughed against her lips she could feel the warmth spread all the way down to her toes. Lily let her fingers fall from his hair, tracing across his chest and absentmindedly playing with the buttons on his cloak as he met every kiss she offered with fervor. His glasses were getting in the way and she pushed them with her nose as he lowered his lips until they fell softly against her throat.

It was probably too heated for a goodbye snog, but Lily didn't mind anything he was doing as long as he kept doing it. She was going to be packing everything last minute into her trunk but she couldn't find a care in the world as he used his hands to tilt her head, giving him better access to her flushed neck. His hips pushed up against hers again and Lily sighed as a definitive part of her wanted so much more from his lips, words, and body.

How did James put it when he'd declared his feelings?

 _Lily fancied the Hell out of him._

He pulled away after hearing her pathetic sigh and Lily opened her eyes to see he was as dazed as she was. His hands dropped into her own and he leaned his forehead against hers, staring sincerely into her eyes. Lily imagined that her cheeks were as flushed as James' if not more. He looked like he was ready for round three.

"I've got to go pack." She reminded him.

"I know." James sighed, his fingers tracing her chin as they stared at each other.

As pleased as she was that she could render James basically incapable of anything (since he did the same to her it seemed) Lily pushed forward slightly so they both stood upright and she was no longer leaning into each other. She straightened James' glasses next, as they were askew from his adventure. When she finished he leaned down to kiss her gently on the lips, then on her nose, and then again on her forehead. She closed her eyes with each kiss, surprised at how readily she adapted to his affection.

James didn't let go of her hand. In fact, he walked her the entire way to the girls' staircase with his hand in hers.

"Would you mind if I met you to say goodbye?" he asked.

"Isn't that what we're doing right now?" Lily asked, "Professor McGonagall's office isn't prime snogging space."

"Three days is going to seem like forever so I'd like to be there when you actually floo out."

Hopeless romantic James Potter was at it again, striking a blush across her cheeks once more.

She nodded carefully and he smiled so bright that her skin tingled like the smile was electric. Lily knew he was pleased with himself based on that smile.

She knew she was way happier than she'd been just hours before. James Potter was unusual in that he certainly had a way of making things seem not as dark and dreary as they could be. James told her to go pack, promising to meet her at McGonagall's office in an half hour.

Ingrid and Sue were helping Mary pack her things from their beds. All three girls looked up when Lily walked in and headed right for her trunk. Mary dropped her toothbrush in the bag before studying Lily.

"You were with James."

"We were just saying goodbye." Lily told Mary as she dropped James' generous offering into her coin purse, "I'll be done packing in a few moments…"

"So is James Potter your boyfriend?" Sue asked, "Everyone's been talking."

"He's not my boyfriend." Lily flushed as she placed some clothes in her travel bag, "We're just seeing each other, seeing if we both work."

"Lily," Mary, bless her heart, changed the subject, "Have you seen my black tights?"

Lily shook her head and dug to the bottom of her trunk to grab her extra pair of tights, "You can borrow mine." She tossed the tights across the room to Mary.

Mary picked up the tights quietly and then mumbled, "I don't know if they'll fit." She said uncertainly, "You're a lot taller than I am."

"They'll be fine." Lily assured Mary, "don't worry about it."

Lily dug through her trunk until she came across her spare black school skirt that would have to be paired with one of her black flowery printed shirts for the funeral. Ingrid watched the girls pack from her bed attentively.

"Do you think Marlene will come back after the funeral?" Ingrid asked Lily.

Lily pulled at her hair when she replied uncertainly, "I hope so."

Mary and Lily both dressed warm for the trip, prepared for the worst. Mary even packed Marlene's lucky scarf, something Marlene had left behind all those days before. Ingrid and Sue hugged them, making Lily promise to give Marlene their best. Mary and Lily made their way to McGaongall's office silently.

They were right outside of Professor McGonagall's office when James appeared from the opposite direction of the girls. He waved at Lily and something like butterflies bubbled in her stomach. He had his quidditch gear on and Lily knew he was late to practice…for her. Her fingers curled against her trunk timidly.

"Mr. Potter." McGonagall seemed surprised to see him leaning against the wall opposite her office when the door opened, "is something wrong?"

"Just here to say goodbye to Lily." James grinned at Lily and she smiled back.

"Didn't you say goodbye earlier?" Mary asked unwisely.

"Obviously." James replied to Mary as he took a step closer to Lily.

"And you have to say goodbye again?"

"I told him he could." Lily admitted to Mary as McGonagall stared on in complete bewilderment.

"Bye." She told him with half an awkward wave.

He cocked an eyebrow and she turned redder under his stare.

"That was so moving." Mary muttered with a roll of her eyes.

James seemed amused too by Lily's tongue-tied goodbye, "I'm the sentimental one in this relationship so unless I make the effort, she's just gonna stand there blushing like an idiot."

"I hate you." Lily mumbled as he pushed his forehead against hers with a wink before placing a sweet kiss on her lips.

He whispered when he pulled away, "Goodbye."

His hazel eyes were melting her heart and making a smile carve it's way through her reddened features. She breathed him in, not believing how far she'd come from only seeing him as a friend to seeing him as something much more…something richer than friendship.

Professor McGonagall cleared her throat making Lily jump away from him slightly, "Mr. Potter the girls need to go—"

"Wait!" footsteps were pounding down the hall behind the gathering, "Wait, Mary!"

Behind Lily, Mary's face when even brighter red than Lily's was from James' public display of affection. It was Mary's secret Huffeuff friend, skidding to a halt in front of the group. He was also bright red from the energy he exercised but he only had eyes for Mary. Lily peered around Mary's short frame to stare at the boy with interest. Mary's hands fidgeted with her braid and her eyes looked back at Lily more than once, as if afraid she might say something to mortify her.

"Reg." her voice was two octaves higher, "What're you—"

Reg had red hair that was more orange than red. He was taller than Mary by about a foot and shorter than James by a few inches. His eyes were jade and reflected gentleness as he stared at Mary. Reg swallowed and shot a look around at everyone in the hall before admitting why he'd appeared.

"I didn't want you to leave—" he muttered under his breath, "Until I spoke to you—"

"Reg _please_." Mary looked around the group in complete hopelessness.

"I just want you to know before you leave," Reg told her, grabbing her folded hands passionately, "When you come back…I want to take you out."

Mary stared at the floor but a small smile was filtered across her features. Lily stepped into Reg's eyesight and he took a step back in surprise. Lily crossed her arms but let her smile stay intact.

"So…"

"Oh, erm, hi." He said, looking mortified.

"I'm Lily Evans." She outstretched her hand.

Reg took her hand and sent Mary a warm look. Mary nodded at the floor, as if she was counting to ten.

Reg stumbled over his statement quickly when James sent him a odd look, "Erm, Mary says you're very funny."

Lily resisted the urge to hug Mary, "Thanks." She grinned at Reg, "Pleasure to meet you Reg."

Reg nodded and Mary looked expectantly between Lily and Reg, as if waiting for something. Red awkwardly let his hands fall to his sides and Lily bit back a smile. Reg seemed shy but maybe that's what Mary looked for. He was polite, Lily gave him that. No matter where Mary was, he kept a respectable distance from her. It was very different from Lily's relationship with James—where he got as close to her personal bubble as possible. Even now James had an arm around her waist.

"Well," Professor McGonagall cleared her throat for the second time that night, "If there are no more people attending this send off, I suggest you ladies get moving."

James whispered in Lily's ear as he gave her one last hug, "Who's the bloke?"

"Cattermole." Lily told him, "Mary's new friend apparently."

"The Cattermole's are a bloodline off the Weasley's I think."

"What?" Lily looked at James with perplexity.

"I think he's Pureblood." James explained casually, "I recognized the name."

"What's it matter?"

Lily was surprised that James would bring blood status into the conversation; it was so unlike him to even care who was related to whom. Lily knew James was pureblood; there had been a big scandal in fifth year when Sirius had left his family for James' family. James and Sirius both came from very different pureblood families, James' family being the one that was more lenient of witches like Mary and Lily who were born to muggle families. Sirius' family hated the idea of Sirius even talking to a muggleborn like Lily, let alone dating one.

James shook his head softly, "It doesn't to me obviously, but Mary's definitely more wary of the pureblood types."

"Can you blame her?" Lily replied back coolly, "Mulciber almost raped her and if we even _breathe_ near Avery he'll call us mudbloods."

James, who was never a fan of anyone who bullied students based on blood, curled his fists, "I hate them both so much."

"You and me both."

He kissed her forehead once more before she Mary into McGonagall's office. She looked back once to see he was waving softly, his smile the brightest thing in the hallway. Professor McGonagall shooed both boys away before closing her door. The fireplace was built up large, crackling away merrily. Lily lifted her trunk up higher as McGonagall passed both with a little bag of dust.

"Throw it in the fire and say very clearly, 'number 14 Hamilton Way' or you'll end up Merlin only knows where." McGonagall told both girls firmly, "Floo powder is not to be trifled with."

"Yes Professor." Both girls said simultaneously.

Mary and Lily gripped hands tightly. Nervous energy swept around the room. Lily had never used floo powder before and she was certain Mary was the same. McGonagall threw the powder into her flames. Instead of sparks burning red, they burned emerald green and the flames no longer felt hot against their bodies. Lily glanced sideways at Mary and they both nodded determinedly.

They'd do anything for Marlene.

The muggleborns stepped into the fire together and Lily opened her mouth, " _Number 14 Hamilton Way!_ "

The fire ripped at their clothes and Lily almost dropped Marlene's hand as they spun around and around. It almost felt like apparating but without as must constriction and with way more wind tunnel effect. Lily struggled to see through emerald flames that licked their bodies without burning.

All of a sudden, the wind tunnel stopped.

Lily's legs buckled as she was thrown from a fireplace and right into a boy's fit arms. Her trunk dropped from her fingers to a maroon carpet. The air smelled like a warm sugar cookie. Mary was complaining somewhere to Lily's left.

"Woah," The boy in Lily's arms laughed, voice deep as he helped her back to her feet, "Steady there."

Lily looked up, blowing her red hair from her face. She recognized her captor instantaneously.

"Eric!" Lily breathed as she became steady on her feet, "Why, you don't look a day older."

Eric McKinnon beamed at her. He was two whole years older than his sister and worked as a writer for the Daily Prophet. Marlene and her brothers were Lily's first friends at Hogwarts. Eric was handsome in the way that Marlene was pretty. Blond curls topped his head and framed perfect skin. His jaw was chiseled like a greek statue and his eyes were bright blue. Eric turned to Mary who had been caught by the mirror image of Eric, only sporting darker hair.

"Thanks Aaron." Mary whispered to the other McKinnon brother.

"Marlene's in the kitchen waiting for you two." Aaron ruffled Lily's hair as he passed with both Lily's and Mary's trunks already in hand, "Come on girls."

Lily and Mary had only made it two steps into the McKinnon household when a tall golden haired girl came barreling into the room, embracing them both at once. She smelled like the air and felt cold to the touch, like she'd spent hour outside in the snow.

"Mary!" Marlene cried into their shoulders, "Lily!"  
Lily was grateful the boys had grabbed their things because it left her with both hands to wrap around Marlene. Mary was hugging Marlene too and the girls fell onto their knees in the middle of the room crying. Lily didn't care that Marlene's curly hair was in her mouth or the fact that they were all shouting at each other at once…all she cared about was the fact that when Marlene pulled back from her hug Lily could see circles under her blue eyes.

"I'm so happy to see you two." Marlene said through her tears, "So much!"

Lily bit her lip and pulled Marlene into another hug, Mary patting Marlene on the back. Lily brushed her fingers through Marlene's unruly hair.

"I'm so sorry Marley." Lily whispered to her best friend, "I love you."

"I love you two, too." Marley sniffed, pulling out of Lily's hug so she could hug Mary once more, "I'm so happy you're here."

Marlene eventually stopped crying but she refused to let go of their hands as she showed them through the house. It was big and full of portraits of family members. Marlene and her brothers were living out of the kitchen and living room it seemed. The boys brought the girls tea as they all settled into the couches in the sitting area. Marlene just kept hugging them, her blue eyes glassy.

They sat together until Mary and Marlene fell asleep against each other on the couch. Lily looked up from her cold tea when Eric entered the sitting room. He smiled softly at Mary and Marlene before letting his blue eyes rest on Lily. He'd always been her favorite of the two brothers, more outspoken and able to hold a conversation.

"How's life been treating you Lily?"

"Better than life's been treating you." Lily stood up, careful to not jostle Marlene or Mary.

Lily placed her cuppa on the table closest to her feet. Eric came to stand in front of her, shoving his hands into his pockets as they stared at each other. Lily tilted her head at him, noticing he had the same lines under his eyes as Marlene.

"Can I help with anything?" Lily asked Eric, "The funeral? Cleaning?"

"You're helping by being here for Marlene." Eric told her gentlely, "The funeral is already planned and nothing in this house has ever been dirty thanks to Aaron's extensive cleaning skills."

Lily chuckled and then nodded before glancing at her friends on the couch. Eric shifted beside her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"If you didn't want to sleep on a couch you can come upstairs—"

Lily took a small step away from his touch and smiled needlessly, "I'm good, thanks Eric. I'm just not tired quite yet."

Eric's eyes shadowed, "All right, well Aaron and I are staying upstairs if you girls need anything tonight."

"Goodnight Eric."

"Night Lily."

Then Eric turned back around and she winced when she saw a familiar look in his blue eyes, "I've missed you." He said, the adoration clear in his tone.

Lily pushed back her red hair and eyed the handsome wizard kindly, "I missed you too Eric."

His curls fell in front of his eyes as he smiled at the floor, "I'll see you in the morning…remember I'm right upstairs."

He left and Lily fell back into the couch against Marlene's legs. Marlene's blue eyes were open and staring at Lily. She was so pale she looked like a ghost.

"He fancies you." Marlene whispered as Lily curled into her best friend.

Lily buried her face into Marlene's shoulder, "I fancy James."

"I know."

Normally, Marlene would've been jumping onto Lily demanding the god-awful details of fancying James in great description but Marlene's eyes just stared at the fireplace. Lily was surprised when Marlene wrapped her hand into Lily's. Lily gripped her friend's hand tightly, biting back tears when she heard a slight sob come from Marlene minutes later.

"Oh Marley." Lily said sadly, "It's okay to cry."

Marlene turned and hugged Lily like a child, "I just—I just don't know how to _live_ without mum and dad."

Tears steamed down Lily's face as she held onto Marlene.

There was nothing Lily could say that night which could ease Marlene's sobs. There was not enough make up in the morning to cover the circles under Marlene's eyes. There were not enough people at the funeral to celebrate Mr. and Mrs. McKinnon's short life. Lily gripped Marlene's left hand as their caskets were buried into the dirt, her right hand pressed into Eric's thigh as he wept.

It was no vacation from Hogwarts. It was emotionally draining on all participants. Eric and Lily hung back as Aaron and Marlene bravely thanked all the witches and wizards who had come. Mary was sipping on wine not too far away, her braid thrown over her shoulder as she stared at the gravestones. The sky overhead was grey and reflected everyone's mood.

"Marley's not smiled once." Eric said beside Lily.

"I was hoping this wouldn't break her spirit." Lily admitted.

"I miss my sister."

"I miss her too." Lily whispered as she too stared at Marlene's ghostly face.

"My parents always warned us something could go wrong." Eric stuffed his hands into his pockets, "It doesn't make it any easier."

Then someone stepped forward through the small crowd of mourners. His arrival stunned Lily the most. His grey eyes were circling the small graveyard and his traveling cloak was well worn. He was leaning on his walking stick as he waited for Marley to say something but Marlene just stared in awe at Professor Pigeon.

"Professor Pidge," Lily stepped forward for Marlene when she didn't speak and Pigeon wrinkled his nose, "Thank you for coming."

"Merlin Evans," Pigeon said, "Let the girl speak for herself."

Marlene swallowed and looked back and forth between Professor Pidge and Lily. Finally her blue eyes rested on their arsehole of a Professor, tears slipping down her rosy cheeks.

"Th-thank you Professor." Marlene's voice was higher but level, "Mum and dad—" she took a deep breath, "Mum and dad would've loved to have seen you."

"No, they wouldn't have." Pigeon snarled, "They hated me as much as anyone else but thanks for lying."

"I'm sorry for missing class." Marlene managed.

"Don't apologize to me girl." Pigeon said gruffly, "I didn't come here for that."

"Thank you for coming." Marlene whispered to Pigeon.

Lily placed a hand on her friends shoulder in support before walking back over to Eric. Marlene was managing a short conversation with their Professor. Lily was too far to hear them, they were both speaking quietly again.

"Who's the old codger?" Eric hissed in Lily's left ear, causing Lily to jump.

"Oh, he's our Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor." Lily told Eric, "He used to work with your parents in the Department of Mysteries."

"What's his name?" Eric asked as Marlene shook Pigeons outstretched hand.

"Peter Pidge?"

Recognition flashed in Eric's eyes, "Pidge?"

"You know him?" Lily asked, alarmed at his tone.

Eric nodded, "Yeah, well not personally, but he was at the root of a huge scandal years ago. Something he was working on in the Department of Mysteries went horribly wrong and his wife died. He went blind."

"His wife _died_?" Lily hissed in horror, looking back at Peter Pidge with a wave of revulsion washing over her.

"Yeah my mum mentioned his work a couple of times, he and his wife were working on some psychological magic."

"What kind of magic?" Lily asked Eric with a quirked eyebrow.

Eric tapped her forehead, "Magic of the brain."

Lily turned back to look at the old hunched man with curiosity.

There was much more to Professor Peter Pidge than Lily originally thought.

Eric got her a glass of wine and they clinked glasses together. She took a sip as he stepped closer and she lowered the glass to see he was staring at her.

"You've gotten taller since I last saw you." he said softly, "Prettier too."

Lily froze as he reached out a hand, but she managed to take a step away from him, "Oh, Eric..."

Marlene was right, her brother fancied something about Lily. Had it been any other situation, Lily would've been flattered but his parents were dead in the ground only feet away and her heart belonged to someone else.

Someone who didn't look like a greek god but certainly acted like one.

Someone who was late to quidditch practices for her.

Someone who kissed her until her toes curled.

Eric's eyes flashed sharply, he went red, "I don't know what came over me."

"I mean," Lily bit her lip, "I've known you for ages and you're _really_ fit...it's just..."

"No." Eric said, staring at his glass angrily, "I'm sorry. I've liked you for ages and I just-I guess I'm feeling lonely."

Lily felt pitted for Eric. Everyone dealt with depression in different ways. Marlene was a walking ghost, Aaron cleaned everything in sight, and Eric reached for the closest familiar thing. Lily stepped forward and placed a hand on Eric's arm kindly. His blue eyes pierced into her green ones.

"I'm seeing someone." she explained her situation poorly, as per usual.

Eric swallowed, "I hope he knows how lucky he is."

Lily managed to curl her lips into a smile as she thought of James, "I'm _pretty_ sure he knows."

Eric blinked, "What's his name?"

Lily laughed softly, "It's James Potter, actually."

Eric's glass almost fell out of his hands and the first real smile broke his features, "You're joking."

"No," she shrugged, "He took me to Slug Club."

Eric spent the rest of the day making fun of her for fancying James the " _pompous, rich, lucky bastard_ " as Eric dubbed him. Lily let Eric complain about her choices, if only because it made him laugh. If anyone in the world deserved to laugh though, it was Marlene and she was not even able to bring her lips into a smile. Going back to Hogwarts without the Marlene that Lily loved was going to be hard. Mary was worried too, Lily could see it in her eyes as they fell asleep with Marlene that night.

* * *

 **Next Time:**

"What'd he want?" Lily asked Marlene.

"He said I probably wouldn't be able to produce a patronus for quite some time." Marlene sniffed, "He said it takes true happiness to produce a corporeal patronus and I'm just not—happy."

It was sad to see bubbly and peppy Marlene reduced to the empty shell of herself.


	9. Never Saw You Coming

**9.**

 **Oh dear, I never saw you coming**

 **Oh my, look what you've done**

 **You're my favorite song**

 **Always on the tip of my tongue**

Marlene's curly blond hair tumbled down Mary's shoulder. Marlene was sleeping against Mary, the rocking of the bus keeping her asleep. Lily glanced away from the window to observe her friends. Mary met Lily's gaze and her rich brown eyes seemed to darken to black. Marlene was snoring softly, a welcoming sound after the past couple of days.

"This is the longest she's slept in days." Mary was playing with the curly cues of blond hair falling from Marlene's head.

Lily nodded her agreement; "Hopefully getting Marley back to Hogwarts and away from her brothers will help."

"Aaron was so quiet." Mary complained, "And Eric…"

Mary trailed off but Lily saw her downward glance and Lily immediately defended the McKinnon brothers, "We can't blame any of the McKinnon's for being off, their parents just died."

"I know." Mary sighed, running her fingers absentmindedly through Marlene's blonde curls, "It was nice seeing them, everything's just so different."

"Not very different." Lily muttered, thinking of Eric.

"Eric's always fancied you." There was a tone of jealously in Mary's voice.

Lily laughed away the implication; "He was a year too late since I'm seeing James now."

"Are you sad?" Mary asked.

Lily shook her head quickly, "No," she was honest with Mary, "I like James a lot."

"I like Eric better." Mary faintly said.

Lily narrowed her eyes at Mary, "You're not the one snogging him."

Eric and Aaron had said farewell to all three girls earlier that morning as they caught the Knight Bus. The bus was scheduled to arrive in Hogsmede at quarter past four in the afternoon. Lily and her friends were the last passengers on the bus. The bus conductor was a greying man who sang along to a little stereo in what sounded like Russian. Outside the windows the Scottish countryside were flying by the window, covering in a thin layer of grey mist.

Mary spoke again, "Lily?"

"Hm?" Lily was falling asleep to the rocking and swaying of the bus and blinked her tiredness away.

Mary's little face was crinkled with concentration, "Does Potter try and keep your relationship a secret?"

Lily's head shot up immediately, "What?"

Red appeared on her cheeks and she tried covering it with her braids, "You know, does he ever seem to, I dunno, just keep you to himself?"

"On the contrary." Lily leaned forward in her seat, "Mary, what the Hell?"

Mary's brown eyes were hiding from Lily's glower, "Well, it's just, Potter came to see you off at McGonagall's office."

Lily shrugged, "Yeah?"

Mary looked like she was trying to complete a complex puzzle, "Reg did too."

"Mary." Lily reached across to grab Mary's hand, "Where is this coming from?"

Mary's brown eyes met Lily's green ones, "Well Reg," she seemed frazzled, "Reg never wants to—"

Lily tilted her head, "what?"

Mary took a deep breath, "Reg coming to McGonagall's that night was the first time he's said he wanted us to be something other than…"

"Is that a bad thing?" Lily's eyes shifted to Marlene, who was still snoring softly despite Mary's nervous fidgeting.

"No…"

Lily smiled knowingly at Marlene's hesitance, "Mary, talk to me." Lily begged, "Why won't you tell me what's going on in that head of yours?"

Mary faltered again, "I tell you things."

Lily rolled her eyes, "You waited weeks to introduce Marley and I to your Hufflepuff mate."

"I know." Mary side eyed Lily, "James is pureblood right?"

Lily nodded, "Yeah, apparently, why?"

Mary said, "Reg is too."

Lily knew that Mary had always been hesitant of purebloods after Mulciber's attack on her. Mary hadn't always been so reserved and set back—in fact she'd once been as bubbly as Marley. Lily's eyes looked at Marley, who was still pale and filled with exhaustion. Mary used to look the same way, right after Marley and Lily had found her crying with the old Head Girl in the Hospital Wing.

"Mary." Lily bit her lip and eyed her friend carefully, "Not all purebloods are like Mulciber."

Mary's eyes flashed at the name, "I know." Her eyes blinked rapidly, "but sometimes I think Reg is—that he doesn't like me as much as I like him."

Lily watched as Mary curled back up into her shell and Lily felt her hand try to pull away from Lily's touch. Lily wondered where Mary's sudden lapse in judgment over Reg was coming from. Lily didn't see anything wrong with Reg coming to say goodbye to Mary and telling her he wanted more from their relationship. It reminded Lily of James' proclamation in the library—if less dramatic and snog driven.

"Mary." Lily said candidly, "Reg likes you. I could tell. From my perspective _you_ were the one keeping the relationship at its place."

Mary stared at Lily skeptically, "I told him I liked him."

"Did you?"

" _Yes_."

"Mary." Lily danced around the words to be polite, "You're not always, what's the word I'm looking for? Communicative."

Mary blanched, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't get angry," Lily calmed Mary quickly, "I'm just saying that even Marlene and I didn't know what you felt for Cattermole and we're your best friends."

"That wasn't because I didn't want you to meet him yet." Mary told Lily, "Reg wanted to take it slow and I'm scared of being hurt."

"Why?" Lily asked.

"I don't know." Mary whined, "But I _liked_ slow." Her brown eyes glanced back up at Lily, "You and Potter took it slow."

Lily stared at Mary and Mary stared back, both girls stuck in their own brains. Lily considered that to the outside looking in, James and Lily had taken it very slow. Lily knew it was the opposite, James was always ready to dive right in and Lily followed his plunge eagerly. Mary, always uncomfortable, squeezed her hands into the fabric of her robes.

"Mary," Lily said sympathetically, "I don't think you should compare whatever you and Cattermole are going through to what I have going on with James."

"But you two have been speaking for weeks and only _finally_ started dating." Mary furrowed her brows, "Was it because he wanted to?"

"No." Lily said honestly, "It's because I couldn't admit how I felt."

Mary's head snapped up in surprise, "Potter _wasn't_ the one who held up your relationship?"

Lily snorted resentfully, "Mary, James had me backed up against walls in broad daylight the second week of school. Taking it slow is not in the Potter vocabulary, apparently."

Mary blew at her fridge and seemed even more confounded. Lily snickered at Mary's annoyance and took both her hands kindly. Lily squeezed Mary's fingers to make Mary look up again.

"If there's anything I've learned from this… _whatever_ …I'm doing with James," Lily told Mary, "It's that you have to stop questioning everything _he_ is doing and everything _you_ are thinking."

Mary offered half a smile, "How do I do that?"

"Mary," Lily smiled back, "I'm _still_ trying to do it myself."

Mary's hands squeezed back, "Thanks for trying to make me feel better."

Lily glared playfully at Mary, "If Reg Cattermole didn't like you Mary then he wouldn't have shown up to McGonagall's office when we left."

Mary nodded but didn't look fully convinced.

The girls arrived in Hogsmede to find that a Hogwarts carriage pulled by two invisible horses was waiting for them. The girls piled into the carriage, luggage in tow and Marlene in silent tears. Lily breathed a sigh of relief when the towers of Hogwarts spiraled into existence. The great lake glimmered in the sunset as the carriage pulled to a stop at the castle gates where a small party of people awaited them. Lily looked out the window and saw they were all dressed in thick woolen hates and Gryffindor scarves. Amongst the party Lily's eyes caught James' memorable hazel gaze as she descended the carriage behind Mary.

It was like a slow motion movie. Lily could feel her own smile spread across her face at the sight of him standing there with a smile that was even wider than hers. Lily placed her bag on the ground as he pushed through the small welcoming crowd and jogged over to wrap his arms around her waist.

"James." She beamed at him.

James knocked his forehead against her own, his entire being settling over her like a safety blanket. Lily looked up and saw his hazel eyes sparkle uncertainly. He hand traced her cheek lovingly and she leaned into his touch.

"I missed you." She told him happily.

"I missed you more."

Instead of kissing her, like Lily expected, he wrapped both arms around her tightly and pulled her into a hug. Lily sighed in his arms, not believing how happy she was to see him, more than anyone else around them. It was Marlene's shocked voice that drew Lily from James' warm embrace.

"Well that's new."

James peered over Lily's red hair at Marley, who looked a bit more like herself as she stared at the couple's embrace, "Jealous McKinnon?"

Marlene sniffed and wiped at her left eye, "Of course," her voice broke as she tried to sound like her old self against James' bantering, "You're both mad enough for each other, a match made in heaven."

"Partial compliment." Sirius said playfully from Marlene's side, "James, I do think she's growing to like you."

"One friend down," James winked in Mary's direction, "One to go."

Lily pinched James' arm when Mary wrapped her arms around herself and stared at the grass at her feet. James protested her pinch and looked hurt that Mary had looked away from being included in the lighthearted banter. Ingrid and Susan made their presence known next, both of them hugging Marlene ecstatically. Marley went down the line of Gryffindor's, giving each of them a hug. Almost all of Gryffindor house was there and Lily could tell it meant a lot to Marlene.

As the Gryffindor's headed up to the castle arm in arm James leaned down to whisper in Lily's ear, "She looks awful."

"She looks better than she did fifteen minutes ago." Lily said fairly.

"I rounded up as many people as I could."

" _You_ did this?" Lily marveled at James thankfully.

James shrugged, "I thought she could use some cheering up."

Lily beamed at James and then leaned on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. James leaned into her kiss, appearing suddenly bashful. Mary and Marlene strolled arm in arm ahead of them. Sirius and peter were leaning the entire group, shouting about butterbeers in the common room. Marley's cheeks were rosy with color. Lily actually felt hopeful that her Marlene wasn't gone forever.

"Thank you." Lily told James in the common room.

"It was nothing." James kissed her lightly on the mouth, "You'd do the same for any of my friends."

Lily stayed wrapped in James' arms until Marlene walked away to the dorm rooms. Lily followed her friend away from the party, determined that Marlene didn't stay alone for too long. Solitude didn't suit the bubbly blonde.

"I missed Hogwarts." Marlene whispered to Lily as the girls dressed for bed.

"It missed you." Mary told Marlene from her own sheets.

"We love you Marley." Lily said firmly, "We missed you."

The night continued on and eventually Mary fell asleep to the sound of Marlene's soft snores. Ingrid stayed up late reading gossip magazines with Sue. Lily stayed up with Ingrid and Sue, working on copying the notes that James had lent her from some of their classes. Eventually, Lily drifted off to sleep, her dreams littered with gravestones and dementors.

Lily woke up the next morning feeling as if she'd gotten less than two hours of sleep. Marley looked about the same so Lily put on a brave face as the girls dressed for class. Everyone wanted to speak to Marley and by the time everyone made it to Great Hall, Marley looked close to tears again. Lily and Mary flanked Marley to keep her protected from the stares of passerby. Finally, the girls made it to their old seats at the Gryffindor table.

Lily piled all of Marley's favorite foods on a plate. Mary, who was normally quiet when she ate, talked in low tones to Ingrid and Susan. Marley ate quietly, picking at her fruit. Lily, who hated the silence, looked for a pair of familiar hazel eyes. Instead, Reg Cattermole appeared, looking quite self-conscious.

"Reg." Mary stood up awkwardly from her seat, brushing at her robes like they were wrinkled.

"Welcome back Mary." He was blushing but his smile was all for her.

"You must be the Huffepuff?" Marlene sounded like herself as she stared up at the ginger.

Reg glanced at Marlene and took a step back, "Uh, and you must be Marley."

"Marlene McKinnon." Marley tilted her head at Reg considerately, "Are you the bloke whose been dating my best friend without my permission?"

"Marlene." Mary hissed and Reg blushed even more.

"Uh, I was actually stopping by..." He stuttered as Lily hid a smile behind her hand, "Uh…"

"I wasn't even informed of your name." Marlene stated.

"Reg Cattermole." Reg looked at Mary for help.

Mary bit her lip then said "You kinda missed the introductions."

"I missed a lot." Marley returned to her solitude, grabbing some toast and biting into it.

Mary seemed shocked and Lily stepped into the conversation herself, "You two can join James and I sometime on a date." Lily offered to Reg, "We wanted to do Hogsmede once the governors clear a trip."

Mary glared at Lily, "James probably wouldn't—"

" _Would_ love an excuse for another date with me." Lily interjected with a spirited smile.

"Is James your boyfriend?" Reg asked Lily civilly.

"Friends with benefits." Susan coughed over her tea.

"I don't do labels." Lily told Reg with a glare at Susan.

"Bully for you Evans, because James does." Sirius Black appeared from behind Reg Cattermole yawning dramatically, "In case you're interested, James called her the _'love of his life'_ when writing his mum."

"Sirius." Lily chastised insipidly.

"Black." Cattermole seemed even more surprised.

"Nice to meet you officially Cattermole." Sirius grinned mischievously, "Sorry for turning your hair pink in third year."

"That was your mate Potter actually."

Sirius gave a toothily smile, "I loose track of which faults are actually my own."

"Okay." Mary grabbed Reg's hand, "Let's go for a walk."

Reg flushed darkly as mary dragged the Hufflepuff away from the Gryffindor table. Ingrid and Susan stared after the couple with hungry eyes.

"Told you Mary could've done better." Ingrid said simply.

"Shut up Ingrid." Marley snapped with a full mouth.

Lily was relieved to Have Marlene back at Hogwarts. Lily turned to Sirius.

"What do you need Sirius?"

"You actually." Sirius grinned humbly.

"I will hurt you."

Sirius replied, ruffling her hair, "Your threats are useless. _James_ is the one who needs you."

"Why?" Lily frowned, "He said we'd meet here."

"James said to go to Dumbledore's office."

"Again?" Lily protested gloomily.

"He said the same as you surprisingly." Sirius smirked.

"I've only just gotten back and Dumbeldore only asks to see us when something is wrong." Lily stood up angrily, "You can't blame me for wanting a whole day to go by without bad news."

Marlene said sourly, "Stop complaining about bad news."

Immediately Lily felt horrible, "Oh, Marley." Lily placed a hand on her friends shoulder, "I'm so sorry."

"Go on Evans," Sirius pulled Lily away from Marley's sour look, "I'll stay with McKinnon and you run along, James is waiting by Dumbledore's office already at this point."

Lily grumbled and took a bit of her morning toast with her. Sirius sat down next to Marley and Lily saw him talking in low tones to her as she left. Lily was thankful that it seemed Sirius was just as concerned about Marley as she was.

Lily raced up the hall, her book bag bouncing against her leg as she ran. Her breakfast was unsettling in her stomach as she ran. Lily's legs were aching by the second staircase. She could even feel the strands of her red hair slipping out of her hairband. Lily ripped the hairband out angrily as she rounded the corner to Dumbledore's office.

James laughed when he saw her rumbled expression as she came to a skidding halt in front of him.

"What's wrong?" he asked, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"I just wanted to have a nice breakfast with Marley and Mary but then Reg came over and your best mate scared him and Mary away—"

"Slow down!" he chuckled and she took a deep breath, "I know Peter's intemindating but—"

"Not _that_ best friend." Lily said with a roll of her eyes, "Sodding Black."

"Ah." James' eyes were sparkling, "Yes, him. He's quite a pushover actually."

"He scared Cattermole away from the Gryffindor table so Mary left too and now we have to deal with Dumbledore." Lily complained dramatically, "I mean, what could he possibly have to say at seven in the morning—"

 _"Good morning to you too Miss Evans."_

Lily froze in her irritable monologue and James coughed but it sounded like he was covering a laugh. Lily's hand covered her mouth in horror as she realized that the person she was complaining about was standing directly in front of them. When Lily looked up, Dumbledore was smiling despite her ill-timed protests.

"Professor Dumbledore." Lily's hand went right for her hair to brush it back, "Good morning."

"I don't mean to take too much of your time—" Dumbledore's blue eyes were sparkling.

"My time," Lily faked a laugh, "Sir, my time is fine. I mean, my time is yours. I mean, how can we help you?"

James chuckled into her ear, "Smooth save Evans, ten out of ten."

"Shove off, you." Lily pinched his side and he sniggered, pulling away from her touch.

"I just wanted to tell you that the school board approved a Hogsmede weekend after the Aurors depleted the mountainside for dementors." Dumbledore explained, "I would've sent the message through Professor McGonagall but I also wanted to as you how your trip went."

Lily forced a smile on her face, "It was wonderful to help Marlene and the McKinnon's out."

"I'm glad you got to go help Miss McKinnon." Dumbledore patted his beard, "Pidge told me he spotted you helping at the funeral."

James pushed his glasses up his nose, "So," he said, trying to change the subject, "Hogsmede is a go?"

Lily, over compensating her for slip up said, "I think it'd be good for the kids to get out of Hogwarts this weekend."

"Of course Ms. Evans." Dumbledore clasped his hand over his book, "I understand the students missed the annual Halloween trip."

James, who was enjoying the awkwardness way too much, "To be honest sir, we found other ways to entertain ourselves."

Lily pinched James again and he laughed even more at her reddening cheeks.

"I'm sure you did." Dumbledore said, "But nonetheless we must've deprive the other students."

"I'll put every single prefect on rounds through the village." Lily promised immediately, "Just incase anything happens."

"I've been needing a gillywater myself so I might join all of you." Dumbledore said kindly, "I'll leave you both to get the news out, thanks for forgoing your breakfast with Miss Mckinnon."

Dumbledore turned away but then turned back, "Ah, Mr. Potter. Congratulations on the win at the quidditch game on Saturday. Excellent competing."

James beamed at the compliment and Lily winced as she remembered she'd missed James playing the big game, "Thanks Headmaster."

"I expect Gryffindor to win the Quidditch cup this year."

"I hope so." James squeezed Lily's shoulders happily.

Once Dumbledore was out of earshot of the couple Lily rounded on James.

"James Potter."

"Lily Evans." He mimicked her brash tone.

" _We found other ways to entertain ourselves?!"_ Lily poked her finger into his chest as he laughed under her fury, "Are you _joking_?"

"Babe come on," James protested with a chuckle, "He didn't get it. He probably thinks we were playing chess, not snogging."

"Your tone implemented snogging." Lily crossed her arms, "and since when have I been _Babe_?"

James beamed naughtily, "You don't like it?" He leaned his face closer to Lily and she pulled away slightly.

"Yes." She wrinkled her nose in protest.

James wrinkled his nose back at her flirtatiously, "What _would_ you like me to call you affectionately? In the heat of the mo' when you moan my-"

Lily raised her eyebrows and placed a hand on his chest, "Uh, Lily works just fine?"

"Sugarplum?" he kissed her nose and goosebumps rose on her arms.

"James."

"Muffin?" he kissed her jaw and she swallowed a petty sigh.

"James!"

"So muffin is definitely out then?" he whispered against her ear.

Lily huffed, "I'm gonna stun you."

"You stun me everyday, love."

"You're so bloody—"

He pressed his lips against hers and she smiled into his kiss. Lily hummed against his lips thankfully. It was crazy how quickly he could make all her walls come crashing down, even while bantering. When James' mouth slowed against her own Lily pressed her hand against his cheek.

She pulled away from his affectionate kisses, "I'm sorry I missed your game."

James replied sweetly, "You missed a great game."

"Did Gryffindor win?" she whispered against his lips.

"Yes."

Lily pouted, "I'm kinda sad I missed it."

James raised an eyebrow, "Only kinda?"

"Okay," she admitted, "I'm _very_ sad I missed it."

James kissed her again; backing her up until her back hit the wall and she laughed against his hold. His hands were fiddling with the buttons on her school shirt; her hands were wrapped around strands of his hair. Lily could never forgive herself for not giving James a chance sooner, she certainly wished she'd spent a lot more of her time at Hogwarts snogging him.

"I can give you," he muttered through kisses, "A play by play of the game."

"Tempting." She caught hip lip impishly, "But we _also_ have class."

James moaned and pulled away with a pucker to his lips, "You always ruin a good snogging sesh."

"We could snog later?" she suggested.

"Fine." He snickered, grabbing her hand and swinging their arms playfully, "But only if you agree to a play by play."

"Sounds fascinating."

By the time they made it to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, lessons were abounding. The room was a whirlwind of patronus' and silver mist. Not everyone had managed a corporeal but Lily being away had set her farther behind her friends. Marlene and Lily both felt out of place as the students around them practiced. James and Sirius sat with the girls in the back of the class as Marlene struggled to even produce a wisp of silver smoke. James and Sirius had been trying to bring Marley up to speed as Lily practiced her wand movements.

"I can't do it!" Marlene finally said, frustrated after a tenth attempt.

"It's fine." James told Marley, "It took me ages to get the wand flick right, try again."

"I don't want too." Marlene sighed, looking up at James.

"James." Lily warned the Head Boy when james opened his mouth to argue with Marley, "Let her be."

"See me after class Miss McKinnon." Pidge ordered gruffly as he passed their quiet corner where Marley sniffled to herself.

"Ugh, great." Marlene muttered as Lily patted her back, "I'm _so_ going to flunk his test."

Lily herself couldn't produce a full corporeal patronus, none-the-less thanks to Professor Pidge's less than accurate grading scales; she managed an "acceptable" when everyone went around the room to try the spell. Marlene couldn't even stop tears from rolling down her cheeks when everyone stared at her.

James (apparently) was the first to produce the corporeal patronus after Lily and Mary had left. Sirius was second and still bitter about James beating him. Lily (and Marlene for that matter) just hadn't been practicing as long as the boys but Lily didn't really have an excuse, Marlene did.

Lily waited for Marlene outside the classroom when class ended. She couldn't eavesdrop because Marlene had closed the classroom door. It had been ten minutes and James was getting anxious.

"Go to lunch." Lily told him, "I'm going to wait for Marlene."

James kissed her on the temple and rushed away, eager to catch up with his mates. Lily waited another fifteen minutes for Marlene to leave the classroom. When she finally appeared through the doorway it looked like she'd still been crying. Lily put an arm around Marley's shoulders.

"What'd he want?"

"He said I probably wouldn't be able to produce a patronus for quite some time." Marlene sniffed unhappily at the thought, "He said it takes true happiness to produce a corporeal patronus and I'm just not— _happy_."

Lily bit her lip and pulled Marlene into a firm hug. It was sad to see bubbly and peppy Marlene reduced to the empty shell of herself. Lily wished she could cheer Marley up—and then she remembered the news Dumbledore had shared.

"Guess what?" Lily pulled from Marley's arms to smile.

"Hm?" Marlene wiped her blue eyes.

"Dumbledore's going to let us go to Hogsmede this weekend."

Marlene's eyes sparkled at the thought of going out and Lily was hopeful, very hopeful, that a more permanent smile would reappear on her friends face soon.

The rest of the day passed quite uneventfully. Lily and James had rounds during their free time and then spent the rest of the night in the library together, writing the final essay for Defense Against the Dark Arts. Professor Pidge had asked all of them to research more and put in an essay by the end of the week. James had already done most of his essay and was just spending the time with Lily before he was supposed to go meet his mates.

"So what's your patronus?" Lily asked James as she copied her notes into essay form.

James smirked and pushed his glasses up his nose, "Uh…"

Lily stopped writing to see a feint blush spreading across James' cheeks. She placed her quill down and tilted her head at James curiously. Embarrassment was new for him, he liked to brag so much.

Lily laughed, pushing him slightly as she teased, "it's the giant squid, right?"

James scoffed, "It's just personal, you know?"

Lily snorted, "James, I know you well enough. It's not _so_ personal."

"It's a reflection of your soul." James countered, "Of who you are."

"So it's a hippogriff then?" Lily continued teasing and he got angry enough at her to whip out his wand.

James glanced around their little space in the library before waving his willowy wand in the air. Lily watched with awe as James' silver mist pranced around their table, shaking it's head majestically like out of some sort of fairy tale. Long antlers reached around the space in the sills, shining beams of light over the books. Lily stared in awe, green eyes mesmerized as the stag came to rest by her side.

She turned to James as the stag faded and glowed, "James that's _amazing_!"

He smiled back and pecked her lightly on the lips before pointing at her wand, "Wanna try again?"

"Not really." Lily sighed, "I just want to finish this essay, I've got another for Professor Binns to do."

"You're a lot farther along than Remus and Marlene with the charm." James reminded Lily kindly, "Both of them can't even produce the smoke."

"Marlene makes sense." Lily said as she wrote down the uses for the patronus charm, "Remus just doesn't make sense. He's always so chirpy."

"He puts on quite the chirpy mask." James countered as he sketched on a piece of parchment, "He's got to put up with a lot of shit."

"Like you?" she asked coyly and he gasped sarcastically before ruffling her hair playfully.

"Me," he decided, "And he gets sick a lot."

Lily knew that James was right about Remus' health. He often missed classes due to sickness. Even as a prefect, Lily noticed how Remus was always sick at _least_ once a month. When she questioned him about it Remus just shrugged and said he had a shitty immune system. For James to confirm it only made her wonder what could possibly make one person so sick all the time. Everyone had their theories but Lily assumed Remus and the teachers were the only ones who knew the truth.

"Has Remus seen a healer about it?" she asked James.

James dipped his head, "There's no cure for what he's got."

Lily sighed again, leaning into James' hold, wondering why the world had to shake the kind ones. She continued writing her essay and James sketched beside her. Lily read the passage in one of the books James had pulled from the top bookshelves for her.

 _'Instances such a passion or significant memoirs can decide the fate of a person's corporeal patronus. It is common for the reflection of the soul to match in instances of true love. In this case, those who match pair for pair could quite literally be called soul mates. It is my firm belief that such a Patronus is an indicator of obsession or eccentricity. Here is a wizard who may not be able to hide their essential self in common life, who may, indeed, parade tendencies that others might prefer to conceal. Whatever the form of their Patronus, you would be well advised to show respect, and occasionally caution, towards a witch or wizard who produces the Patronus of their choice.'_

"So whats that mean?" Lily asked, pointing at the print.

James pushed his glasses up his nose and read the inscription carefully before explaining, "Pidge said that wizards in the Ministry think that if Patronus' match, you're like, fated to love each other."

"That sounds extreme." Lily snorted, " _Literal_ soulmates?"

"You scoff." James shook his finger at her, "I believe soulmates exist."

"Don't expect my patronus to match yours." Lily warned him, "If I had to pick _any_ animal to be in this world it most definitely wouldn't be a deer."

"What do you have against deer?" James asked rudely.

"Nothing," she winked at him, "But I'm more a cat person myself."

"You take that back Lily Evans." He warned.

"No."

He began tickling her and Lily hooted, pulling away from his fingers. Sirius appeared to take James off on whatever adventure they had planned for the night and James was still tickling Lily incessantly. Sirius grinned at the sight of them, Lily almost on the ground laughing.

"Why are you torturing Lily in the library?"

"Sirius help!" Lily said through giggles.

James looked at Sirius, "she deserves this."

"No!" Lily laughed as James' fingers disappeared under to top to tinkle her stomach again, "I just meant stags aren't my thing!"

"She said she was a cat person."

"Here," Sirius pulled out his wand and Lily's eyes widened in James' grip, "Let me help."

All three of them were kicked out of the library after James ended up in a jelly legs jinx, Lily was sporting a ripped shirt, and Sirius was singing a awful rendition of the Hogwarts school song. Both of the boys made her laugh louder than anything else in the world and Lily couldn't imagine life without them.

* * *

 **Next time:**

" _Exspecto Patronum!"_

The silver erupted from the end of her wand like a canon and Lily stepped back in surprise as a beautiful doe pranced in front of her very eyes.

* * *

 **Thanks for being so sweet to me and waiting for this chapter! It's sad because real life does have tot ale precedence sometimes. Only sometimes.**

 **See you this time next week for another installemtn of Soulmates!**

 **Review here or on tumblr.**

 **xxx**

 **petals**


	10. Treacherous

_10._

 _Eye to eye, until the gravity's too much_

 _And I'll do anything you say_

 _If you say it with your hands_

 _And I'd be smart to walk away_

 _But you're quicksand_

Lily's feet kicked against the desk as the potion atop her desk bubbled between green, blue, and purple. The sound of her slippers hitting the desk sent an echoing sound out around the space. If James noticed, he said nothing. Behind Lily, more potions bubbled over the simmering flames of the dungeons. The air was thick and warm, almost as if they were swimming in the potions themselves. It was a feeling she was quite used too. Lily had long since abandoned her robes in favor of her lighter skirt and shirt combo. Beside her, James was stirring the potion with his sleeves pushed up, a bead of sweat on his forehead.

James had long since dazed off as they entered their second hour of potion making. Lily was watching the way James' wrist flicked the ladle stirring their potion. James' spare hand was absentmindedly drawing circles into the small of Lily's back, putting the witch to sleep. They'd long stopped talking, simply content with each others company.

The color-changing potion they were tasked with brewing was called a Confusing Concoction meant to render the drinker disordered. It was similar to a confounding charm, something Lily preferred over the intense potion making process. Since Slughorn trusted none of his students to brew the concoction without charming it; none of the students had their wands and wouldn't have their wands until they proved that their brew was correct.

"Is it almost done?" she asked impatiently.

"Patience." James commanded, "We've got one more color change to get through."

Lily sighed deeply and leaned her face into his space, pouting in his general direction. James laughed and leaned down to press a tender kiss on her nose. When he pulled back, Lily made sure that her face was still screwed up into a silly grimace. James flicked his tongue at her spiritedly before turning back to their concoction.

James, intent on keeping Lily talking, "Hey, did Pigeon seem weird when we all handed in our essays earlier?"

Lily raised her eyebrows at the mention of their Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, "No more than usual, why?"

James shrugged, "He asked me if I'd be free tonight to help him grade the essays." At her look he added, "Of course I have Quidditch tonight so I said no."

Lily couldn't resist the snort that came out, "You're joking."

"I don't joke." At Lily's pointed stare James sniffed, " _All of the time._ "

Lily crossed her legs as she leaned towards James with curiosity, "Wonder why he asked you?"

James replied smartly, "I mean let's be real, his invitation was probably a part of a convoluted plan to murder me."

Lily grimaced, "He does seem to hate you and I the most."

James' hair flopped into his eyes as he finished, "And just before I could tell him I preferred my life to poison at his hands, _your best mate Marley offered to help him_."

"Marley?!" Lily gasped, hitting James' arm in shock, " _No way!_ How'd I miss this?"

James grabbed his arm where she hit it, "You handed me your essay so you could continue arguing with Cara about rounds tonight."

Lily's face dropped as she recalled, "Oh yeah."

"Did you two ever come to terms with—what was it—a _mutual_ swap?"

Lily didn't miss the teasing in James' tone. Lily pointedly ignored him and instead drew on a spare piece of parchment paper. Cara Matador was a seventh year Slytherin and the one who had spent most of Defense Against the Dark Arts trying to get Lily to take her rounds that night. It had taken the Slytherin their entire class period to finally get Lily to agree to an extra shift. Lily only agreed in the end because Cara promised to take one of Lily's patrols next month. Of course, it didn't mean Lily still _wanted_ the extra patrol. She was still bitter that she'd let Cara talk Lily into taking the shift.

Knowing that James was just trying to get her to complain about the patrols again, Lily ignored his playful pokes on her stomach. Fifteen minutes (and a lot of scowls between the couple) later their potion was ready. It glowed lilac as James spooned some of it out and into a vial Lily had been keeping on the side of their desk. He swirled it in the glass to cool it down as Lily raised her hand to capture Slughorn's attention.

Lily put her elbow on the table as Slughorn passed by to check out the now turquoise coloration. His mustache wiggled in delight as he checked the perfectly brewed potion. Once he deemed it's looks good enough, he moved onto the next test.

"Which one of you is taking the potion?" Slughorn asked the couple.

James removed his hand from the small of Lily's back, "She lost rock, parchment, wand."

"Only because he swears that rock beats wand but I deduce that wand beats everything." Lily scoffed.

James barked a laugh and sounded like Sirius as he ruffled her hair, "She's a sore loser, this one."

"And now he's gets to poison me."

James winked her direction.

"Well Miss Evans," Slughorn pushed the vial in her direction, "Go ahead, and let's see how your Confusing Concoction turned out."

Slughorn swirled the potion in the beaker one more time before passing it to Lily's outstretched hand. Lily stared at the contents, not really doubting their brewing skills but hoping she wouldn't be sick from the contents. She glanced at James over the rim of the beaker.

"Remember," James warned her good-naturedly, "Only a sip."

"You're telling _me_ , one sip?" Lily teased him back, " _You're_ the one who drank an entire vial of sleeping draught James."

"An entire vial?" Slughorn looked at James, aghast.  
"I was tired." James grinned, pleased by both Slughorn's flabbergasted expression and Lily's exasperated one.

"He was _fine_." Lily assured Slughorn as she twisted the vial in her hand, "I made sure he didn't die."

"Just like I'm going to make sure _you_ don't die while drinking this." James offered to Lily.

"How kind of you." Lily wrinkled her nose at James.

He copied her face, "Don't worry, I won't paint all over _your_ face if you pass out."

Lily laughed cynically before swinging the vial back against her lips and taking a hearty sip. The potion slipped down her throat and tasted funny. Lily's lips puckered and then James quirked an eyebrow at her as she slammed the vial on the desk.

"How ya feeling love?"

Lily rolled her eyes and sneered, " _Love_." She shook her finger at James, "I feel well enough to remind you _no pet names_..."

"Alright cupcake."

She punched him in the arm and he half laughed-half dodged away from her next blow.

"The potion should set in soon." Slughorn stated as the couple fought, "About fifteen minutes."

James stared at Lily, waiting for her change in mood, likely to use it to his advantage. Lily laughed at his hard-set stare. Slughorn patted Lily on the shoulder and went to check on the table behind them when one of the students called for help. James and Lily waited for the potion to set by playing each other in a harrowing game of a crossword puzzle that James pulled form his bag. It turned out James good at crossword puzzles. All of his friends did them and slowly (after eating breakfast with theme very morning) Lily got dragged into the party.

"A wizard who banished hoards of Ogres in Scotland in 1445." James thought, tapping his quill against the newspaper edge.

Lily kicked her legs back and forth, thinking back to all the years of Ogre's War lessons done by Professor Binns. James pushed his glasses up his nose before writing MARKUS MONK in the downward crossword. Lily placed her chin on his shoulder as he tried to figure out the next puzzle piece. She couldn't miss the glaringly obvious smile on his face as she leaned into him, waiting for the potion to confuse her brain.

"What's got you so publically displaying your affections?" he asked.

"I'm just happy." She told him, "Is that okay?"

James turned his cheek, their noses touching, "It's defiantly more than okay to be happy Lily."

Lily smiled and he smiled back. Lily was incredibly blissful with him smiling at her with his special smile and a sparkle in his hazel eyes. Her stomach was lurching as she stared into his eyes, soaking up the moment for all that it was worth.

How could she have gotten so lucky in meeting someone who made her smile so much?

"You know Mary smiled at me at breakfast this morning." James told her as he wrote in another crossword, "I almost dropped my plate."

"Now Mary and Marley both like you?" Lily provoked, "Your ego must be over the moon."

Lily faltered in her joy, thinking of Marlene. It was the end of the week and the only smiles Lily had seen from her best friend were few and far between. Lily felt guilty sometimes, being so happy when she was around James when she knew that Marley was struggling to get by one day at a time.

"I know that face." James pulled away from Lily's grip to stare perceptively at her, "I think Marley looks better, don't you?"

"I don't know." Lily muttered.

"Why? Is it the Potion?"

"I'm not confused." Lily argued, "I'm just _worried_ James. She barely speaks to her friends."

"She's speaking to Pidge." James supposed.

Lily sighed, "Yeah, who knew she'd turn into teacher pet." She turned her eyes on the potion, "Why, Pidge even showed up to her parents funeral."

James snorted, "I've stopped trying to understand why Pigeon does the things he does."

Lily squeezed James' shoulder as she remembered what Eric had said at the McKinnon funeral, "Did I forget to tell you what I learned about Pidge?"

James straightened his glasses again, "You're acting strange Lil, I _definitely_ think the potion is setting in."

Lily waved his concerns away, "No, no I'm fine." She promised, "It's just, Eric and I were talking at the funeral—"

"Eric." James pulled a face, "Who _the fuck_ is Eric."

"Of course that's all you care about, you idiot." Lily glared at James, "Eric?"

"He sounds stupid."

"And you're stupidly jealous." Lily rolled her eyes, "Eric is—Eric is—"

James' eyebrows couldn't get any higher, "Eric is?"

Lily blinked at James. Suddenly her brain was foggy and even though she _knew_ who Eric was, she was having trouble producing _the words_ to explain who Eric was. Lily huffed angrily and brushed strands of her hair from her eyes as she stared at James. The air seemed stuffier than usual. James looked utterly annoyed that _this_ was the time that Lily started to gawp blankly.

"Her potion's set in." a monotonous voice interrupted James as the owner of the voice passed by the table with a sneer, "And she's talking about her old boyfriend Eric McKinnon."

"He's not a boyfriend!" Lily scoffed, turning to look at a boy with swinging hair, " _Ugh_. Snape."

James seemed okay by her reaction to Severus Snape but he approved of anyone who hated the Slytherin. Snape sneered at Lily and James before walking back to his table. James leaned closer to Lily.

"So Evans, does Eric McKinnon ring a bell?"

Lily stared at James, her brain muffling the words she wanted to say, "Marley's brother."

"He was a year or two ahead of us? Right?" James looked more relaxed at Lily's nod, "Well what did he say?"

Lily took a deep breath, trying to filter through her memories of Eric. Eric was there when she was sorted. Eric was talking to her after her first date went awry. Eric and Aaron were teasing Lily and Marlene over their ice creams at a shop in Diagon Alley. James waited but the temptation was too much for impatient James to handle.

"Something about Pigeon?" James reminded Lily carefully.

"Pigeons are nice."

James sighed and raised his hand, "Professor," he called, "Lily's confused."

"I'm fine." Lily said scathingly.

James rolled his eyes, "Sure you are, love."

Slugorn walked over to their table and Lily stared at his beard, wondering when he got one. Lily also wondered if he'd always been wearing the vest covered in powdered sugar from his favorite candy. Slughorn used his wand to lift Lily's chin and make her look into his wrinkled eyes.

"What's your name?" Slughorn asked her slowly.

"Lily."

"Your whole name."

"A whole name?" Lily groaned, trying to remember, "Lily…Lily…Evams."

"Lily Evans." James beamed as Lily continued to stare back and forth between the Professor and her boyfriend.

"What he said." Lily nodded to James helpfully.

"Nice brewing." Slughorn told them, "Ten points to Gryffindor." Slughorn grinned at Lily's confused face, "And an five extra points to Lily."

Slughorn raised his wand, swiping it across Lily's forehead and a new sort of confusion replaced the confusion set on by the potion as James kissed her cheek in celebration at their accomplishment.

Her _boyfriend_.

Lily called James her boyfriend.

And it wasn't surprising really, or that confusing, as Lily continued to think about it while they cleaned up their desk. James smiled at her adoringly and she flirted with him senselessly. He took her out and spoiled her as much as she'd let him. James was her boyfriend and there was no denying it.

"You still look a bit confused." James told her playfully as Lily buttoned her robes back up while he grabbed their books and placed them in his bookbag.

"It wasn't very pleasant." Lily told James.

"I'm sorry." He kissed her temple as they walked out of class together, "Next time I'll take the potion." James waited until they were walking upstairs to their last class to ask her again, "So, what did Eric McKinnon tell you?"

Lily took his hand and looped their fingers together as she answered, "He told me that Pigeon's wife is dead."

"Someone _married_ Pidge?" James was aghast.

Lily confirmed with a nod of her head, "And she died and apparently people blame Pidge for it."

"Wow." James took in the information and then squeezed her hand so she'd stare at him, "So…Eric McKinnon? Were you two a thing?"

"Are you jealous?" Lily questioned, knowing the truth.

"Yes." James chuckled, yanking her sideways so that they both stopped walking and he was leaning up against the wall keeping her at arms length, "But you can't blame me. Snape knows the way to my heart."

"Snape's an arse." Lily flat lined.

He licked his lips, "He still knows my weakness."

Lily laughed as James pulled her in and placed a kiss on her forehead, "Calm down James, Snape was just goading you, everyone knows Eric McKinnon and I were just mates."

"I'm inclined to be jealous." James disputed.

"Inclined?" Lily said, "Why?"

"Because." James nipped her lips carelessly, " _You_ don't give a bloke much confidence."

"Forgive me for not stroking your ego every second of the day." Lily rolled her eyes, "You're my boyfriend and you've got nothing to worry about."

James pulled away from her lips immediately, "I'm your _what_?"

He was going to make her say it again until the day she died, she could see it in his eyes, "You heard me James."

"I've suddenly gone deaf."

"Only suddenly?"

"Come on Lily, stoke the ego one last time today." His fingers brushed along her cheek.

She huffed, trying and failing to look put off, "You're my boyfriend."

His hot mouth slammed against hers and she tried laughing and pushing him away but his hands grabbed her wrist, pushing her hands down in-between them. Kissing James had turned a complete one-eighty. The first time she kissed him at the bonfire over the summer, Lily had been inclined that the heat of the kiss had come from the raging fire behind them but now she considered that James was the one who set her on fire. Lily remembered telling Mary about James' inability to keep ones hands to oneself but to be honest, her hands weren't innocent anymore either.

"Can we please skip class?" he begged as her lips left his mouth to travel along his jaw greedily, " _Please_?"

"It's almost the weekend." Lily murmured against his skin, "We only have to go to one class."

"Exactly." James' hands gripped her tightly around the waist, " _one_ class. No one will miss us."

And Lily could've _probably_ drawn away instead of pushing her body closer and James _probably_ could've dragged his hands away from her shirt instead of pulling at the top buttons but she fancied James more than she fancied anyone ever before so ' _probably'_ never happened. James was whispering sweet nothings into her ear as they playfully danced towards and away from each other in the shadowy hallways of the main floor.

"Let's go someplace else." James only pulled her lightly with his fingers but it felt like he was pulling her with a magic spell and she didn't mind it at all.

By the time they made it to James' empty dorm room Lily's shirt was halfway unbuttoned, James' tie was missing, and her fingers were wrapped in his hair. The back of her knees hit his bedspread before her back fell against the mattress. Lily laughed as James came crashing down on top of her and he caught her laugh with his lips like he always did. James drowned all ability for anything but half attempts at coherent words as his hands plucked at the remainder of her buttons and his mouth plucked at the remainder of her sanity.

Lily felt like her brain was clouded again, but this time it had nothing to do with a potion they'd brewed together. It had to do with the way James was warm and comforting. It had to do with his fingers searching her exposed skin adoringly. It had to do with the way her legs wrapped around his waist, tugging their bodies closer as he lavished every inch of free skin that he could find with his mouth, his tongue, and his teeth.

Lily had never felt so comfortable, so beautiful, or so smart with any other boy in her entire life. No one had ever made her feel as if her entire being was going to fall apart under their lips. Lily knew she wasn't the only one who felt the forceful appetite for desire. If James' moans as her body slipped up against his didn't give away his indulgence, the hot and hazy way he grinded back was a surefire sign of his desire.

James moaned as her fingers grazed down his chest to wrap animatedly in his robes, "This is _way_ better than arithmacy—"

Lily leaned her head back against the sheets, her chest rising and falling against his, "Yeah?"

"Yes." He breathed, pressing a hastily placed kiss on her lips before rolling away from her so that they were both lying next to each other staring at the ceiling.

James' fingers wrapped in hers. Lily looked at him, smiling when she saw his eyes were clamped shut. She rolled onto her side and let her fingers run through his hair as she memorized the way his cheeks were flushed and the way his lips were slightly parted.

"James?" she whispered.

"Lily?" he opened his eyes and turned his head, glasses askew at the motion.

In that moment Lily thought he'd never looked more handsome. Even with the red on his cheeks, his hazel eyes were sparkling brilliantly and his lips were curved into a impressive smile. As far as boyfriends went, he was simply the best.

"I'm excited for our date this weekend." She told him.

James propped himself up on his elbow and grinned at her, "Zonko's?"

She nodded and sat up on her own elbow, "Zonko's is a definite hit but I also crave butterbeer."

"Firewhisky?" James waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Maybe a little dancing?" she teased back.

"Whatever my girlfriend wants."

James leaned in to press a kiss against her forehead just as the dormitory door slammed open dramatically. Lily sat upright so that she was no longer lying down next to James and looked for her shirt as she realized she was not entirely appropriate for any eyes that weren't James'. James sat up too, albeit much more slowly than her as he draped her found shirt over her shoulders. Lily pulled it on hastily and began buttoning it from the top, down. Remus, Peter, and Sirius all stumbled through the door carrying their school things.

"Lo mates." James called over Lily's shoulder.

"What are you two doing?" Peter asked nosily as he dumped his things onto his messy bedspread.

"Nothing." Lily quipped before James could answer, "What are you three doing back so soon?"

"We should ask you the same thing." Sirius smirked when Lily exchanged a look with James, "But seeing as you were definitely about to shag based on the lack of clothing, I suddenly don't care."

"Jealousy doesn't become you Sirius." Lily said in response to his quip.

Sirius sent her the finger, "Go snog James somewhere else Evans."

"Your bed?"

"Touché." Sirius grinned and Lily grinned back.

James stood up and held out a hand to Lily, "I have to be getting to the quidditch pitch anyways, set up for practice." James eyed Lily, "Want to come?"

"Nah," Lily smiled at her boyfriend, "I have rounds, remember?"

"Rounds." James scoffed, holding out his hand to her, "Watching your boyfriend play quidditch is more exciting than rounds."

Lily bit her lip and took his hand so he could pull her off the bed. Once she was on her feet she readjusted her shirt before smiling at Sirius who was watching them with an upturned brow. James had managed to keep his clothes on, even if his tie was missing. Lily reached for her robes, on the ground with their books. Sirius sniggered along with Peter as she threw her robes on and James looked pleased with himself. The next time they snogged so readily Lily was bound to get James back by making him the lesser clothed and having her mates walk in on him. Lily swayed in her spot as James reached under his bed for his broomstick and bag of gear. James kissed her on her cheek before racing from the room, leaving her alone with his friends.

"Boyfriend?" Sirius spoke the word as if he were discussing weather.

"Boyfriend." She agreed like a love-struck first year.

"Wow," Peter spoke up through the silence, "Commitment looks strange on you Evans."

Lily turned her green eyes on Peter, who had long since been open about his aversion for Lily. Remus looked up from his pillow and Lily noted the dutiful glare he sent in Peter's direction. Lily crossed her arms, preparing to defend herself.

"If you have something to say Peter, say it now." Lily snapped and Sirius snorted indignantly.

"I'm just surprised." Peter said smartly, "You, who spent the better half of our time at Hogwarts telling us how stupid we are, _you_ want to date my best mate?"

"I did not spend the better half of knowing you telling you how stupid you are." Lily reasoned.

Sirius raised his hand; "I would like to attest that, _that_ is a lie."

Lily wanted to tell them that they were being stupid right then and there but for all intents and purposes, Lily clamped her mouth shut. It was as if Sirius could read Lily's mind because he barked a laugh and fell onto Remus' mattress. Remus mumbled and kicked at Sirius with a bare foot. Lily's eyes finally registered that Remus was looking flushed and frail on his mattress.

"You all right Remus?" she asked the boy kindly.

None of the boys answered but Lily saw Peter exchange a look with Sirius who in turn looked down at Remus awkwardly. Remus seemed to tell both of them something with a downward turn of his eyes because Sirius' shoulders dropped and Peter sniffed shrewdly. Lily raised her eyebrows and swung forward and backward on her heels.

"Okay," Lily said, coughing slightly, "I can tell when I'm not wanted."

She turned on her heel to walk out and Remus called, "Wait, Lily, _ooph_ ," Lily threw a look over her shoulder to see Remus was sitting up next to Sirius on his bed, "I'm just exhausted, you don't have to leave."

"You're not sick again are you?" she asked worriedly.

"He just walked in on you and James practically shagging." Sirius joked, "Of course he's sick."

The boys all laughed and Lily forced a laugh but she couldn't shake the feeling that the boys were hiding something from her. Lily couldn't shake the feeling even when she left the room after playing exploding snap with Sirius. Remus slept the whole time and Peter refused to join the game, even when Sirius asked him too. Lily couldn't help but feel that she wasn't entirely welcome in the room, as if she'd crossed a boundary with James' friends but when she confronted James later that night after his quidditch practice, he scoffed.

"What are you worried about?" he asked when she'd moped.

"Remus lied to me and Peter thinks I tell you off all the time." Lily complained as James grasped both her hands to yank her closer.

"Lily," he laughed, not all together looking her in the eyes as he retorted, "Remus _wasn't_ lying, he really is exhausted. I mean he visits the hospital wing more than anyone at this school." He leaned his forehead against hers, "And Peter…he's just nervous about one of us finally bringing someone new into our world. I mean, I don't know _why_. One of us was bound to get into a serious relationship eventually."

Lily's nose touched his when she looked up, "I've known you boys for seven years."

James laughed and tucked her hair behind her ear, "Yeah," he admitted, "and in seven years of knowing us, have you ever seen me or any of those idiots with a girl this much?"

Lily tilted her head at James, trying to remember him with other girls through the years. Lily had been with three boys in her entire life. Lily's first kiss had been with a Hufflepuff named Chris at thirteen and at sixteen she'd met a muggle boy named Mark who she dated through the summer. Mark and Lily had nothing in common and as a couple were a simply summer fling but Lily had still slept with him so she considered him serious enough.

Lily couldn't remember James ever being with a girl…or any of his friends being with girls for longer than a week either. Lily tucked her hair behind her ear and stared at James in wonder.

"You've never had a serious girlfriend before." Lily said.

James nodded and placed his hand on her cheek again; "I dated Thea Bones for a bit once."

Lily recalled dimwitted Thea Bones and wrinkled her nose in a way that made James snicker.

"Are you jealous?" he asked with an arch of his eyebrows, "Because I've never seen you jealous before and I'd pay eight sickles to see that."

They were backed into a corner of the common room and Lily could've kept teasing him or played up her jealousy but she was more concerned with getting more answers from him.

"If she wasn't serious then she's nothing to be jealous over." Lily mocked, haughtily sticking her nose in the air.

"It's true." He told Lily, "You've got _loads_ more experience than I have. All those boys who've fancied you."

"All those boys." Lily pushed his glasses up his nose playfully as she mocked him, "Like three boys. Ever. In my entire life."

"Four."

"Oh, you're keeping count for me now?"

"You forgot me." James declared, "You have to include me."

Lily widened her eyes at him, "You know what, I totally forgot all those ex lovers in Vienna."

James pinched her thigh and she laughed, pushing her hands against his chest playfully. He leaned down to kiss her lightly. Lily kissed James back and wrapped her fingers in his hair as she kissed him. He tried to pull away she bit his lip and he bit her back. Lily only pulled away because she was aware they were still in public.

"I just wish Peter would stop acting like I'm ruining his life." Lily whispered.

James reached up to ruffle his black hair before sheepishly admitting, "Peter's just concerned because you aren't a marauder."

"A what?"

James looked at the ceiling before looking down at her illicitly, like he'd misspoke, "A marauder."

Lily sniffed, "James…"

James took a deep breath, "It's what we, me and the boys, call ourselves."

"You boys call yourselves the _marauders_?" Lily quizzed and James rolled his eyes at her mocking tone.

"Yeah."

She laughed and James flushed, immediately pulling his hands away from her. He looked as if he wished he'd never told her the secret. Lily didn't let James retreat, never having seen this side of James since she'd known him as more than the bothersome boy who lived in Gryffindor tower with her. He was adorable, embarrassed, and a total nerd of a boyfriend. Lily considered herself lucky because James was all of those things and he was all hers.

"I think it's cute." Lily leaned on her tiptoes to press a kiss against his nose and he winced hopefully.

"You think it's cute?" he echoed.

"Yeah, I mean, I'm dating the biggest dork in all of Hogwarts but— _hey_!" Lily grabbed his shoulder when James tried walking away and pressed her lips against his firmly, "I was only teasing." She whispered after pulling away from his stiff lips.

Lily brushed her hand along his cheek and pressed her fingernails into his chin playfully. James sighed and pressed his face into her hand as they stared at each other. Lily leaned towards him, always feeling as if she was never close enough to him.

"So what," Lily said, "Peter is afraid I'm going to be inducted as—what? A fifth marauder?"

James wrinkled his nose at the suggestion, "There will only ever be four marauders."

"Good." Lily replied, "I don't think I could live up to the name."

James chuckled and pressed his forehead against hers again, "Peter's afraid with you getting closer that— _well_ —" he faltered and Lily got it without James having to say anything.

"He's afraid you won't have time for them anymore." She comprehended.

James' hazel eyes told her that her response was correct. Lily pulled out of his arms and stared at the ground, suddenly aware of her friendships and how they had changed even in just a few short months. Marley was on the verge of dropping out of school and never looking back. Lily had no idea who Mary was turning into with Reg Cattermole. She had drifted apart from her friends. Besides spending time with Mary and Marley at the McKinnon funeral, Lily had spent most of the year with James.

"James." She said decidedly, "I don't want to go to Hogsmede with you."

James tilted his head, "You don't?"

"I mean I do," she said firmly when a shadow of panic crossed his face, "But I think I should spend some time with Marley and Mary." She touched his cheek, "And you need to spend some time with your _marauders_." She said the last word with a smile.

"As much as I love my mates," James reasoned, "I was really looking forward to Hogsmede with you."

"It wouldn't have to be all of Hogsmede." Lily sanctioned, "We can grab a butterbeer that night but during the day lets, each of us, be with our friends."

James eyes her warily, "Where is this coming from?"

Lily explained her reasoning, "Well, I haven't seen my friends as much which means you haven't seen your friends as much and _maybe_ we should try a good balance."

"So you want me to hang out with my mates…" James examined.

"We spend a lot of time together, _which is great_ , but maybe we need to balance relationship with—everything else." Lily illuminated, "Wouldn't that make you happy?"

James was quiet as he considered Lily's question and then his special smile appeared, the one where the left corner of his mouth lifted higher than the right. The one that made her knees go weak.

"Yes." He said, "That would make me very happy."

Lily kissed him again before they walked to the girls' staircase together, hand in hand. His fingers were playing with the inside of her palm and she was happy again, almost as happy as she'd been upstairs in his bed. James kissed her goodnight and she started climbing the staircase when he spoke up.

"I consider myself lucky."

"And why is that?" she asked flirtatiously and he licked his lips.

"Because I not only have the best mates in the world." He crossed his arms and winked, "I've got the greatest girlfriend in the world too."

Lily laughed and sashayed up another step, "See you in the morning, _babe_."

"You're lucky that you're too far away for a proper snog!" James shouted after her as she climbed the stairs.

Lily was still laughing as she entered her dormitory. Mary and Marley looked up from the floor where they were painting their nails. Mary's nails were a dry plum and Marlene was playing with a sparkly red. Lily was surprised to find them doing something so commonplace the night before Hogsmede. They were both already in their nightgowns too, a sign of an early night.

"Did you two have plans for Hogsmede?" Lily asked.

"No." Marley didn't look up as she painted her pinky nail red.

"I was going to go out with Reg." Mary tilted her head at Lily, brown hair tumbling over her shoulder.

"Can we hang out before you meet Reg?"

"I suppose…" Mary said slightly, surprise filtering across her plain features, "What happened to you and James?"

"Nothing happened," Lily laughed and fell to the floor beside them, "Can't a girl just want to hang out with her best friends?"

"Well sure," Marley stopped painting her fingernails to gaze at Lily, "it's just you and James have been very—"

"No James." Lily said firmly, "We're both going to hang out with our mates, separately."

"Just us?" Marley confirmed, "Me, you, and Mary?"

"Just us." Lily established, picking up her own favorite color of nail polish from the stash, "A girls day, if you will."

A smile cracked Marley's face, "Yeah?"

Mary hesitated then said, "I suppose I could talk Reg into meeting me for drinks afterwards."

Lily clapped her hands and then hugged Mary and Marley, "It's a date!"

The next morning at breakfast Lily purposefully sat with the other Gryffindor girls. James and his mates sat not too far away so Lily still got to see James. When Lily sent James a wink over his toast she caught the eye of Peter Pettigrew and he actually smiled at her. Lily bit her lip to hold back her own triumphant smile as she ate her eggs and toast.

Balance, it appeared, was all Peter Pettigrew wanted. Lily could share James; Merlin knew it might do their relationship some good if they weren't with each other all the time. James still kissed her when he came over to ask about meeting the prefects before the carriages started leaving but that was the extent of their touching.

Everyone was excited for Hogsmede, Lily included. Even as she passed off patrolling duties to the prefects with James at her side, she couldn't squander her smile. James pressed another kiss to her cheek before he left her alone in the Entrance Hall talking to some of the lingering prefects. He promised to meet up with Lily after his patrol at five and Lily found herself wishing (after he disappeared through the student mass) that it was five in the afternoon already.

Marley appeared in the crowd after some time had gone by and Lily was still talking to prefects. She was dressed to the nines in a pretty pink cloak and her hair done in waves. Lily wished that she had a camera to capture the welcoming smile on Marley's face as she wrapped a hand around Lily's arm and tugged.

"Come on Lily," Marley begged, "Mary and I want to get to Honeydukes before all the good fudge is gone!"

Lily laughed and waved goodbye to the rest of the prefects as Marley dragged Lily to the front doors where Mary waited for her friends with her hair in plaits. Both Mary and Lily were wearing muggle jeans and pretty sweaters. Hogsmede was a chance for them to wer something other than the robes of the wizarding world. As the girls walked arm in arm together to the carriages meant to take them to Hogsmede, Lily felt thirteen again. It was like it was their first time to Hogsmede. Marley was tugging on Mary's hair, begging her to take it down for once and Mary was telling Marley to keep her opinions to herself. Lily's heart felt two sizes larger than it had in weeks.

Lily couldn't stop beaming as the girls entered Hogsmede together. The streets were lit up, welcoming the Hogwarts students gaily. Some witches sat on the front stoop of a trading shop gossiping and an old man was selling Daily Prophets on the side. A fog was over the village but the gas lamps and cobblestones made it appear all the more magical. Everyone from Hogwarts had shown up to the village and everywhere the eye looked there were students laughing.

"We're finally here!" Marley announced as the girls walked up the high street together.

"We've all been stuffed up in that castle too long." Lily told her friends, "I'm so happy they took care of the dementor problem!"

"Me too." Mary shivered, "Imagine running into one of those so close to Hogwarts."

"Professor Pidge told me that the Ministry still has Aurors patrolling the hills." Marley said, "So I expect we're safe."

"Professor Pidge told you?" Lily raised her eyebrows at Marley as the girls walked.

Marley heard lily's judgmental tone, "He's not all bad, Lily." Marley told her, "He's been trying to help me with my applications for the Auror Academy."

"The Auror Academy?" Mary blinked in surprise just like Lily did, "Since when have you wanted to be an Auror?"

Marley shrugged and changed the subject, "Look!" she pointed to a green and pink trimmed shop, "Honeydukes!"

The girls entered the candy shop and were overcome by a sweet aroma of sugar. Mary immediately grabbed ahold of pepper imps while Lily and Marley pushed through the bodies of other Hogwarts students to the fudge counter. Lily was excited to see a mop of messy black hair among the throng of students. Peter was at James' side and they were both picking out treacle tart. Before Lily could say hello to them, Marley had already grabbed the fudge and was pulling Lily over to the cash register where Mary waited.

The girls shared their candy outside of the busy shop. Lily sat in-between Mary and Marley, people watching. Some people waved at the girls as they entered or left the shop (James and Peter included) but most students were too caught up gossiping. It was like any normal Hogsmede trip, even with the added patrols of prefects and teachers on the streets.

"How's it going Dan?" Lily called after a Prefect walking up the street with his wand out.

The Hufflepuff prefect grinned and waved at Lily, "Just fine!" he yelled over the heads of a group of fellow Hufflepuffs.

Marley ate her last piece of fudge and then contentedly leaned against Lily's shoulder, "Can we please go to Madame Tussi's?" she begged Lily, "I've been wanting new robes for ages."

"Of course we can." Lily told Marlene happily before looking at Mary, "How does robe shopping sound Mary?"

"Anywhere sounds great as long as we get away from here." Mary hurriedly replied.

Lily and Marley both looked to see what was making Mary prickly. A grouping of black and green robes made frown lines appear on Lily's face and Lily knew if she looked over at Marlene, the expression on her face would match. In the middle of the sea of green, seventh year Slytherin Mulciber was staring their way, snapping on bubblegum greedily. Lily stood up, bringing Mary and Marley with her. They had to walk past the group of Slytherin's, attracting attention quickly.

"Lo' mudbloods." Mulciber started a laughing riot amongst his friends.

"Take a photograph," Lily snapped at Mulciber, "It'll last longer."

"Who'd want to look at the likes of you for too long?" Mulciber snorted with a look at his friends for approval.

"James Potter would."

The familiar voice sent shivers up Lily's spine as the Slytherin's burst into laughter at the truth spoken out of Severus Snape's vicious mouth. Lily shot a scowl over her shoulder and caught the pale sinister glare of Snape, who was grinning sadistically under the laughter of his disgusting mates.

"Good one Snape!" Mulciber roared as Marley took charge and pushed Lily and Mary forward quickly, "The Potter's always were lovers of the _uglier_ things in life."

"Keep walking Lily." Marley hissed when she felt Lily's shoulder tense up, "They're not worth your time."

"They're worth a fist in the face." Lily hissed as they left the laughing idiots behind.

"Yes Lily," Mary sighed exasperatedly, "Punching is the answer to bullies." Mary looked at Marley, "She's been hanging around James too long."

Marlene snorted, "Mary, Lily looks for any chance to punch a Slytherin in the face, before snogging James or not."

Lily grinned, "Marley has a point." She told Mary, "I threatened to punch Mulciber the mo' I heard what happened last year—James just got to him before I could."

Mary seemed determined to forget al the events of the year before, "Come on," she told Marley and Lily, "Let's go shopping."

The altercation with the Slytherin's aside, the girls spent the rest of the day laughing as they tried on robes. Lily was sad she didn't have enough money to by some lilac robes with embroidered pockets. Lily stared at them quite some time, trying to justify spending all her savings on one set of dress robes. She couldn't and Marley offered to spot her but Lily refused, putting the pretty robes back in their box. Finally, at half past three, Lily suggested they grab some butterbeer before Lily had to do her patrols around Hogsmede and meet up with James.

The girls went right to the _Three Broomsticks_ and sat at the overcrowded bar. Other students sat around them, including the same group of Slytherins that had bothered them near _Honeydukes_. Mulciber whispered to the girl on his lap and she giggled while Lily ordered three butterbeers and Lily was thankful when the Slytherin's lost interest when one of their own pulled something from his pocket to show them.

The girls settled into their seats but didn't sit and drink for long before someone called out Mary's name. Ingrid and Susan spotted Mary from down the bar and encouraged the other girls to sit with them. It was nice, just sitting with the other Gryffindor girls and talking about things other than school. Sometimes Lily felt that the world around her was so focused on school and magic that it was nice to have normal conversations about family and home every once in a while.

Five minutes before Lily was set to do patrols she sighed. Susan complained she needed to go to the restroom but didn't want to go alone because she was afraid one of her old boyfriends would corner her at the loo. All the other girls agreed it was a good idea to just go all together and left for the girl's room at the opposite end of the pub. Lily was so caught up in laughing while Ingrid did her impression of a singer named Tina Burgess that she didn't notice the little box sitting on the sink in the loo. It was while washing her hands that Lily finally noticed the box. Ingrid noticed it too at about the same time. Mary, Susan, and Marley waited for them by the door to the loo.

"What's that?" Ingrid muttered as she and Lily inspected it, "A potpourri?"

" _The Three Broomsticks_ isn't classy enough to offer scents in a loo." Marley snorted, reaching over Lily's shoulder to grab the box from Ingrid, "It's probably a jewelry case…"

Before Lily could warn Marley to leave the mysterious box where they'd found it, Susan grabbed it impatiently from Marley and flipped the lid open. Something dark shot into the air and began swooping around their heads above. Susan screamed and dropped the box. Marley's hand gripped Lily's elbow as Mary stepped forwards to be closer to her friends.

"A bat!" Susan fell back against the loo door in horror, "It's a bat!"

"It's not a bat—" Lily stepped forward and that's when the dark shadow came to a halting stop in front of her and transformed in an instant.

Sweeping cold filtered across the room and all the girls froze as the dementor sucked in one ragged breath. Lily blinked, not believing her eyes. _Where had a dementor come from?_ They were just as she remembered from the beach at the end of the summer. The scabbed hands reached from the black cloak and Lily still couldn't see through the hood but she felt the impending doom. Mary fell to her knees crying behind Lily and Marley tried to pick Mary up as Lily whipped her wand out unthinkingly. The dementor reached out it's hand and Ingrid screamed when it moved. Lily stood over her friends, her wand pointed. There was no way she was going to let a dementor touch her friends (or anyone else for the that matter).

She imagined the best memories and happy thoughts filtered through her head.

Kittens.

Hiking the grounds.

Mary laughing with Marley.

Mum and Dad in Cokesworth.

 _James_.

Lily took a deep breath.

" _Exspecto patronum!"_

Nothing happened and the dementor inched forward. Lily fell backwards against the sink, trembling. She remembered what Professor Pidge had said, dementors feed on happiness. She had to think of something that this dementor could never take from her…a memory so pure it was practically made of gold.

The only thing that stuck out in Lily's brain was the night before when James was flirting with her on the girls' staircase. She remembered the look on his face when she'd playfully called him babe. She remembered the provoking threat to snog her senseless. Lily smiled against the cold crippling her body.

Tears slipped down her cheeks, " _Exspecto Patronum!_ "

The silver erupted from the end of her wand like a canon and Lily stepped back as a beautiful doe pranced in front of her very eyes. It was a doe, it had to be. The pointed ears leaned towards the dementor. The face of the doe was calm, the eyes large and unyielding against the evil that was taking all the warmth from the girls. It looked almost exactly like James' patronus only without the pronged antlers.

" _Shit_."

The doe pranced back and forth across the girls, keeping the dementor at bay. Lily grabbed Marley who had ahold of Mary before rushing at the door where Ingrid and Susan stood petrified.

"Go!" Lily shouted at the girls.

Ingrid, wits about her, opened the door and the girls all tumbled through. Wizards and witches closest to the door looked up at all the Gryffindor's emerged from the loo at once, two of them crying. Lily grabbed the handle of the loo door, shutting it just as the doe disappeared and the dementor remained reaching for Lily like a ghost. A few wizards jumped up, wands aloft at the sight of five girls looking so panicked coming out of the loo.

The pub owner, a woman named Rosemerta, immediately swept over at the sound of crying. Her wand was drawn and her sharp eyes looked over the girls with concern. Lily's heart was pounding in her chest and she had to lean against the wall as her brain processed everything that had happened. A goblin at a table nearby scoffed into his drink at the dramatics of the teenagers. Lily would've liked to see the goblin face a dementor in a loo.

"What's going on?" Rosmerta looked around the group for answers.

"A dementor!" Susan huffed, "In the loo!"

Confusion plagued Rosemerta's face, "A dementor?" pity flooded across her face, "In a loo?"

"We swear," Ingrid coughed as she hugged Susan, "We all saw it."

"Witches." A wizard whispered to his friend who nodded solemnly.

"We're not lying." Lily snapped angrily, "There's something in there, dementor or not!"

Rosemerta stared at the pallid girls before slipping past them and placing a hand on the loo door. Lily jumped to stop the woman but the pub owner pushed open the door. Lily bravely gazed past Rosmerta's curly hair and instead of a dementor, a werewolf was panting and howling in front of her eyes. Rosemerta shut the door quickly, her face matching Lily's in color.

"A werewolf?" Lily stuttered, "But it was a dementor…"

"What's going on?"

The soft familiar voice entered the conversation worriedly and Lily had never been more relieved to see the Headmaster of Hogwarts standing in the pub holding a gillywater. He placed the gillyweed on a table close by and Rosemerta rubbed her hands worriedly along her apron.

"It was a dementor!" Mary sobbed to Dumbledore as he waltzed forward to talk in lower tones, "It tried to suck out our souls! Lily stopped it!"

Everyone nearby in the pub had gone silent. Everyone was watching to see what was causing the commotion by the loo. The girls were causing a scene and Lily saw the questioning eyes of several of their fellow students. Rosemerta cleared her throat to command Dumbledore's attention from a sobbing Mary.

"I feel we might be dealing with a boggart Albus." The barmaid said wisely.

"A what?" Lily questioned, wiping her brow of sweat.

"They're called boggarts and they take the form of something that scares you." Professor Dumbledore explained softly as he approached the loo, "Many witches and wizards have succumbed to their effects."

"So you're telling me that whatever is in there…wasn't even a dementor." Lily asked wonderingly.

"Could've fooled me." Ingrid shivered as Mary nodded acutely.

"Merlin," Marlene whispered, "Who puts a _boggart_ in a loo?"

"Boggarts inhabit any dark place." Dumbledore pulled his long wand from his pocket, "Were the loo lights off?"

"No," Susan said, "It came out of a small jewelry box."

His blue eyes gazed around the quiet pub expertly, "I doubt anyone would confess to misplacing a jewelry box after it's contents terrified some of my students."

"How unfortunate that it was us to stumble upon it." Lily muttered sourly, still shaking form the effects.

"At least you know you can produce a corporeal patronus." Marlene said some what jealously.

"It was a corporeal patronus that you conjured Miss Evans?" Dumbledore looked impressed and Lily's face burned, "What animal did it form?"

"A doe?" Ingrid questioned out loud, thinking back to the animal they'd seen in the loo.

"I think it was a horse." Lily mumbled quickly.

"It was a doe—I saw the hoove—oomph." Lily nudged Mary in the side.

"Very well," Dumbedlore looked back and forth between the girls, "Ten points to Gryffindor for each of you. Please go enjoy the rest of your Hogsmede trip. I will take care of the boggart."

"Professor Dumbledore," Rosemerta beseeched, "Perhaps this could wait until after my guests have left?"

Dumbledore nodded curtly, "Of course Rosie, I don't mean to cause more bad business."

"It can't get out?" Mary asked.

Dumbeldore shook his head, "The boggart is likely hiding in one of the toilets right now." He smiled at Rosmerta, "I'll just lock the loo so that no one else can be frightened." at all the girls' less-than-amused expressions Dumbledore said firmly, "Just be glad it was only a boggart ladies, they're very commonplace. Nothing to be ashamed of."

"Boggarts," Rosemerta clucked her tongue, "in _my_ pub." She considered the girls momentarily, "Come on girls, free butterbeers on me."

"If you don't mind," Lily said softly, "I'll pass."

"Lily?" Marlene eyed Lily worriedly.

Lily smiled at her friend so as not to cause worry, "I'm supposed to be on patrols soon."

"Are you alright?" Dumbledore asked her kindly, "Your patrol can be disbanded if you require medical attention."

"I'm fine." Lily lied, "Just lightheaded." Dumbledore didn't look convinced, none of them did. Lily sighed under their gazes, "I'm just going to head back to Hogwarts for a nap."

Mary, Marley, Ingrid, and Susan all looked at Lily in wonderment. Lily waved them on before pressing her hand to her forehead and walking towards the door.

James' patronus was a stag.

Lily's patronus was a doe.

Fake dementor and boggarts aside, that was what plagued her head so much. Lily remembered the passage on patronus' and how it said couples with matching patronus' were fated to be together. She remembered teasing James, telling him that she'd never have a deer as her patronus. After all, how was Lily supposed to know that James was her soulmate? How was anyone supposed to know something like that until they were in love?

And she wasn't in love.

 _Was she?_

Lily was so caught up in her own head that she didn't notice who she passed on her way back to the carriages.

"Lily?" she froze in despair and looked up and into the hazel eyes of what some wizards would consider her _bloody soulmate_ , "Are you alright?" James reached out to touch her shoulder and she pulled away.

He noticed her avoidance and stepped forward with concern. His mates weren't around and for that Lily was thankful, she didn't know if she could keep calm under their judgmental stares. James scratched his neck uncomfortably.

"I'm heading back to the castle," Lily muttered, "I've got a headache."

"I can walk with yo—"

"No." she repeated firmly when his eyebrows shot up to his hairline, "No, It's fine. I'm just—it's that time of month." She lied, hoping to dissuade him, "Seriously James, go have fun with your friends. I'll see you tomorrow."

She managed to quiet him with a well-placed kiss on his cheek. As she pulled away her puzzled face matched James' own bewildered appearance.

According to that dusty old book in the library, Lily and James were _soulmates_. The patronus was a reflection of the soul and Lily had seen hers in a dimly lit loo while protecting her friends from a fake dementor. The doe had seemed brave and resilient, despite Lily's fears. In her minds eye Lily saw them together, the stag and the doe. The stag with his arching antlers and the doe with her wide stare matched James with his wild hair and Lily with her emerald eyes. They were matched in size, perfectly sweet in nature, and perfectly regal in stature.

Lily couldn't help but feel cheated as she fell into her bed once she made it back to the castle because James wouldn't have questioned it. If she had told him what her patronus was he'd scoff and say he knew it all along…but Lily?

Could she truly believe in the possibility of finding her soulmate at the young age of seventeen?

* * *

 **Next Time:**

"What's wrong with telling James?"

Lily cleared her throat, "It's not important."

"I think it's cute."

" _Marlene._ "

* * *

 **This chapter had actually been written for the past three months but it took be a long time to perfect it to the way I wanted it so THANK YOU for waiting a little bit longer than usual for an update. **

**I hope you enjoyed this and are looking forward to a new chapter!**

 **Don't forget to review! I thrive off love and affection like a niffler thrives in a bank of gold.**

 **xxx**

 **Petals**


	11. Bad Liars

_11._

 _With my feelings on fire, I guess I'm a bad liar_

 _I see how your attention builds; it's like looking in a mirror_

 _Your touch is a happy pill but still all we do is fear_

 _What could possibly happen next?_

Lily watched the sun go down underneath her covers. The dorm was chilly because one of the girls had left the window open but Lily was still in shock so she just crawled into her bed, leaving the window cracked. It was hard for her to comprehend that the doe that pranced at the edge of her vision. It was hard for her to understand that of everything she felt for James—her feelings were coming down to a patronus charm in a loo.

She had to tell James, she _had_ too.

There was still that nagging feeling though, the one that ached in her conscience mind: how could the theory that matching patronus' means your soulmates be factual?

But then again how could it not be?

Lily had read the book herself. She'd seen the passage that said patronus' were literal embodiments of the soul. The corporeal patronus form was a soul in itself and if Lily's patronus matched James' patronus then…soulmates was the book definition of what she had with him. Lily had always trusted what she read in her books. She'd always trusted the words on a page.

So why couldn't she trust herself?

The dorm room door flew open theatrically and Lily sat up, her red hair falling about her face. Marlene entered the room carrying a large paper bag on one arm and her cloak in the other. Marlene's curly hair was soaked in rain but her eyes were bright as they searched the room and landed on Lily in bed.

Marlene sat down on Lily's bed dramatically, dropping the paper bag of sweets from Honeydukes on top of her stomach. Lily grumbled and expanded her eyes to stare at her friend. Marlene's own blue eyes had circles under them. Lily reached for the paper bag filled with sweets and searched inside for familiar packaging. Lily took a handful of the pepper imps and shoved them all into her mouth, turning her mouth to fire. Marlene's eyebrows shot into her hairline.

"Uh-oh." Marlene said, "Why the dramatics?"

"Where are the other girls?" Lily asked, trying (and failing) to change the subject.

Marlene scooted her bum so Lily was forced to move over, making room for Marlene on the mattress. Marlene's curls formed a golden halo around her head when she lay down beside Lily. Lily chewed her pepper imps as Marlene took the candy bag to pick out her own favorite, sugar quills.

"Mary is still in town with her Hufflepuff boyfriend. Ingrid and Sue managed to hook onto the arms of some fancy Ravenclaws." Marlene sucked on her sugar quill thoughtfully, "And I decided that I'd rather be in bed eating my weight in sugar quills."

Lily licked her lips before reaching back into the bag resting between the girls, "Your plans coincide with mine."

"Right." Marlene sounded unconvinced, "So you weren't at all interested in going out for drinks with your boyfriend then?"

Lily turned her cheek to watch Marlene condescendingly eat her quill. Marlene's face was taught, an expression Lily had never gotten used to seeing on her face. Even so, Lily's eyes traced the pale coloration of her friend's cheeks and the way that Marlene chewed with annoyance.

"Are you mad at me?" Lily asked.

Marlene hummed cautiously.

Lily fell back against her pillow to match Marlene's position, "Marlene I'm not being a drama—"

"It was a _fake_ dementor Lily." Marlene said pointblank, "You didn't _actually_ face death in the face."

"I'm not upset because of the boggart." Lily sat up and glowered down at Marlene who seemed preoccupied by her sugar quill, "I'm upset because of my corporeal patronus."

"Oh Merlin," Marlene sang to the ceiling bitterly, "Lily Evans is upset because she finally managed the corporeal patronus!"

Lily grabbed Marlene's arm and pushed, "Marlene!"

Marley chucked a pepper imp from the bag of sweets and it bounced off Lily's forehead, "Just so you know, Lily," Marlene said earnestly, "I would _love_ to be able to produce even an _inkling_ of a patronus but I can't even produce a wisp because I'm _miserable_ and you are acting like it's the worst thing that's ever happened."

Lily heard the way Marlene's breath caught in her throat. Lily saw the pain flash across her face. Lily realized that Marlene wasn't mad at Lily for ditching James in Hogsmede…Marlene was mad because she thought Lily was being ungrateful. Lily grabbed Marlene's hand before it could reach for another handful of candy.

"Marlene, I'm sorry." Lily whispered, "I wasn't trying to be insensitive."

Marlene sniffed, "Then why are you up here sulking?" she blinked once, "That's turned into my job."

Lily fell back against the pillow again and decided to open up to Marlene, at elast for another point of view on the matter, "You promise not to laugh?"

Lily heard the smile in Marlene's voice, "No."

Lily rolled over to look and see that Marlene was still staring at the ceiling but a wry smile had replaced her frown, "Marley, I lied to everyone when I said I didn't see the form really well."

"A horse?" Marlene commented with interest.

"It was a doe."

"A what?" Marlene tilted her head to match stares with Lily.

"A doe." at Marlene's dumb expression Lily exhaled, "A deer, Marlene. A female deer."

"Are doe's super offensive or something to your personality?" Marlene got another sugar quill, her first demolished in minutes.

"No," Lily reasoned not knowing how to tell Marlene, "No it's just—"

Marlene teased, "You wanted to be a lioness?"

"James' patronus is a stag." Lily blurted out and then a blush spread quickly across her face.

"Wait a minute…isn't that?" Marlene whispered in awe, eyes opening wider.

Lily played with her sheets, "Yes, his patronus is a male deer."

Marlene was silent and then, "So you two have matching patronus'?"

Lily nodded once.

Marlene queried, "Is there a problem with that?"

"Have you finished the report on patronus' that you missed for Defense Against the Dark Arts?" Lily asked.

Marlene shook her head, "No, Professor Pidge gave me two weeks to finish it."

Lily rolled onto her stomach and pushed her face into the pillow, moaning. Lily suddenly regretted telling Marlene because now it meant she'd have to do a Hell of a lot more explaining. Lily at least was comforted in the fact that when she did finally tell James, he'd most likely get it quickly.

And propose to her on the spot.

Lily sighed again into the pillow.

"Does it mean something when patronus' match?" Marlene asked again.

"Apparently," Lily turned her face so Marlene could hear her voice, which had been muffled by the pillow, "Since my patronus is a doe and James' is a stag...our souls are literal embodiments of each other."

"What the Hell does that mean?" Marlene's nose wrinkled.

"It means James and I are the textbook version of soulmates."

Marlene started coughing and sat up as her body shook the bed. Marlene slammed her fist against her chest, coughing, as she tried to swallow the piece of sugar quill that broke off. Lily rolled her eyes at Marlene's dramatics and waited for Marlene to calm down. When Marlene stopped coughing, she started laughing. Lily had been waiting _weeks_ to hear Marlene's laugh and she was rather bitter that it was the admittance of her relationship with James that made Marlene burst into a hysterical fit of laughter.

Lily slammed her hands over her face and muttered, "I shouldn't have said anything."

"Oh _Merlin_ ," Marlene fell back against the sheets, kicking Lily's legs annoyingly, _"How fucking lucky are you?"_

Lily lowered her hands, barking a nasty laugh, "Lucky? I'm freaking out, the boy who used to drive me mad, the boy who still drives me mad...he's my soulmate?"

Marlene poked Lily in the side; "Lily do you know how many girls would die to meet their soulmate at seventeen?"

"How do I even know us being soulmates is true?" Lily complained, "James believes anything because he's a hopeless romantic but how do I know one hundred percent that we're soulmates?"

Marlene threw her hands behind her curly hair and hummed, "I dunno, how did you come up with the conclusion?"

" _Defense Charms and how To Use Them_ offered a pretty impressive description," Lily replied sarcastically, "Matching patronus' means our souls are matched which means James and I share the same soul."

"Are you going to go downstairs and tell him?"

"No."

"What's wrong with telling him?"

Lily cleared her throat, "It's not important."

"I think it's cute."

" _Marlene_." Lily bemoaned, "I want to tell him, I do…but…"

Marlene rolled over and smiled at Lily, "Look, if you really are freaking out about this I'd talk to Professor Pidge."

"There is no way in Hell I'm talking to _Pigeon_ about whether or not James Potter is my fucking soulmate." Lily crossed her arms, "As plans go that's your worst one yet, Marley."

"I'm not kidding Lily," Marlene snapped, "Pidge is smart and knows a lot about magic. Remember, he used to work in the Department of Mysteries."

"Well unless he worked specifically on patronus' I doubt—"

"He and his wife worked on magic affecting the brain." Marlene sat up and crossed her legs, "technically your soul is your character which comes from your brain and patronus' are magic affected by the brain."

Lily shook her head, "I don't want to talk to Pidge."

"Because you're afraid he's only going to confirm that James is your soulmate?"

"No," Lily replied, "Because I don't like him."

"He's not all bad." Marlene vowed.

"Pigeon hates James and I with a passion." Lily raised her eyebrows at Marlene, "He would laugh if I even asked for five seconds of his time."

"Do you want to know if James is your soulmate or not?" Marlene asked.

Of course Lily wanted more answers but more answers meant less confusion and for some reason, Lily felt more comfortable with the thought of being unsure than being sure.

Lily bit her lip and pulled herself out of bed, "Do you think James is still downstairs?"

"He was reading by the fireplace when I came back."

Despite the knowledge gained from the afternoon, Lily couldn't be bothered to stay away from James. Marlene watched as Lily grabbed her robes and put them back on over her underthings. Lily slipped her shoes on, brushed her hair, and checked her mirror.

"I'll be back later." Lily told Marlene.

"Go snog your soulmate senseless." Marlene joked from Lily's bed.

Lily couldn't act like anything had changed between her and James. Acting upon the knowledge only meant something if Lily was even sure of what she was acting upon. Lily took a deep breath.

Marlene narrowed her blue eyes, "Lily." Lily looked back to Marlene with annoyance, "He was really worried about you…he said you looked awful on your way back to the castle."

"I feel awful." Lily mumbled.

Marlene crossed her arms, glaring at Lily, "You know that it's not that big a deal…I know you're scared of love because you are scared of relying on someone other than yourself." Lily stared at Marley in surprise, "But I want to share with you what Pigeon told me last week."

Lily groaned, "You're not going to lecture me with words from Professor Pidge."

"I'm serious Lily," Marlene said crossly, "I relied on my parents my entire life. Even when they were too busy for work I could count on them to send me money for new robes or give me some advice on school…I always had mum and dad to fall back on when I got in trouble. Do you know how fucking terrified I was to realize I was alone? To realize my parents could never help me ever again?"

"Why were you so scared?" Lily whispered, "You have Eric and Aaron."

Marley had tears in her eyes, "I'm cut from different cloth than you Lils. I'm not as independent as I show. I'm not as comfortable without help like you are. I've relied on everyone around me for my entire life and losing my parents made me wonder who else I'm going to lose when we leave school."

"Don't talk like Professor—"

"Don't talk like Pigeon?" Marley scoffed sardonically, "Lily, he's given me the best advice out of anyone. He told me that when his wife died and he became blind he turned away from everyone who tried to help him and look at him now."

Lily thought of their hunchbacked Professor darkly. He was miserable and hated everyone and everything. In fact, Marlene was the first student to praise him. Lily swallowed, wondering what exactly had happened to his wife in order to make him so bitter. Lily stepped away fromt eh door and back towards Marlene. Marlene stared at a spot on the floor sadly.

"He's more alone than ever, even in this castle surrounded by students." Marley whispered, "I don't want to end up like him…do you?"

"Of course you wouldn't end up like him." Lily grabbed Marley's hand and Marley yanked herself from Lily's grasp.

"I could turn into someone just like him." Marley argued, "because just like him, when I lost the most important people in my life I tried to shut everyone out." Marley choked and wiped her eyes furiously, "And I envy you."

" _Me_?"

"You've always been so independent and confident." Marlene cried, "Sure, you cry like the best of us even when you fall apart…but you have never _once_ relied on me or Mary."

"That's not true." Lily argued angrily, "You're my best friends."

"And you're mine." Marley said with a half sob, "But Lily you've never needed us to be happy. We love each other and support each other but what you have with James…James, who looks at you like you're made of gold…it's different than what you feel for Mary and I."

"No, it's not." Lily whispered, "I don't know what I'd do without you and Mary."

"Oh you'd get by." Marlene whispered back.

"How could you say that?" Lily grasped Marlene's hand again, kneeling by her best friend, "I'd be devastated if anything happened to you."

"Devistated." Marlene smiled sadly, "but you could live without me."

Lily didn't like what Marlene was implying and tears streaked down her face.

Marlene wiped tears from her cheek, "Lily, I heard you whisper James' name before your patronus. Mary and I don't even have a _pedestal_ close to him." Marley laughed through her tears when she saw the horror of realization on Lily's face, "and you are so scared of finally depending on someone other than yourself that you want to push James away the moment you had this inkling that he might be the best thing in the world for you."

Lily's lip wobbled.

Marley touched Lily's cheek softly, "He's your happy memory Lily. What's wrong with that?"

"I can't..."

Marlene threw her hands up in defense, "I'm just saying Lily," her blue eyes sparkled with tears, "I've known you for a long time and I've never seen you _so_ happy with someone until I saw you with James when you got back from mum and dad's funeral."

"How do you _know_ its love?" Lily whispered fearfully, "How do I _know_ I love him?"

"I don't know." Marlene said, "I've never loved someone that much."

Lily sighed and turned away from Marlene, "I'm going to talk to James."

When she left the dorm she leaned against the door and struggled to control her tears. Lily hadn't fought with Marlene in a long time—and Marlene hadn't ever been so honest before. How was it that Marlene could see something so clearly? How was it that she could have made Lily so emotional at the thought of loving James more than anyone else on earth?

Lily had to see James.

She found the boy in question sitting on the common room couch with his legs thrown out reading a book. He wore his robes but they were haphazardly thrown on. He looked a wreck, even his hair was flying everywhere more than usual. Lily did that too him and she felt guilty immediately. Lily leaned on the back of the couch, her fingers gripping the leather lightly and she considered him.

"Hi."

Her soft hello made his head snap up as if she'd yelled it. James' hazel eyes traced her figure as she came around the end of the couch, leaning on the armrest. He was reading an arithmacy book and she smiled, knowing he was the biggest nerd and loving him for it. James' hand immediately lifted for her cheek, cupping it as his eyes searched her face for something she couldn't provide.

"How's your head?" he murmured.

"Not entirely well." She tried to joke but she knew it didn't reach her eyes.

A smiled cracked his features, "Was it ever?"

His smile could've cleared up a whole plethora of dementors, as it cleared the black settling around her heart. Lily smiled back as he leaned up to brush his lips against hers contentedly. He tasted like a chocolate cauldron cake.

"Want to go for a walk?" he asked sweetly when he pulled away and leaned over the couch for his bag, "I brought back two butterbeers and chocolate cauldrons."

Lily pushed his glasses up his nose for him, "My hero."

James grinned at the compliment, standing up before taking her hand and tugging her along with him. Lily was thankful she'd chose to put shoes on because he pulled out all the way to the staircase and proceeded to plop her down near the fourth floor in the middle of the staircases. Above them, the staircases were changing and moving as they always did. Lily watched them move as James pulled out two butterbeers from his bag. He twisted one open for himself and them twisted another for her. He lifted his drink to her in cheers.

After he took a swing James told her, "I know today didn't go as planned but I'm happy we're here now."

"I was promised chocolate?"

James laughed and reached inside his bag, pulling out a whole bad of chocolate cauldrons, James' favorite. They passed the bag back and forth until their stomachs ached and they were giggling insistently on sugar high. Lily laid her head on his shoulder. He let his fingers drag through her hair.

"Do you want to talk about today?" James asked once they'd slid into each other.

"Not really."

He chuckled and pulled her in closer, "I heard a rumor you fought a dementor?"

"It was a boggart."

"Still cool."

"It was absolutely terrifying." Lily sent James a pointed look, "Like reliving the summer bonfire."

"Dementors aside, I'm still quite a fan of the summer bonfire." James told her, "We did have a great trip to Scotland."

Lily laughed as she remembered James grabbing out of the blue and apparating them both to the North. The bonfire had only been a few months before but so much had changed since Lily had gotten drunk and danced around a large fire with Marlene and Mary. Lily looked up at him through her eyelashes and saw he was still staring at her lovingly. His fingers were running through her hair softly.

Before Lily could get up the gall to tell James about the patronus, Sirius appeared out of nowhere, throwing an arm around both of them dramatically. Lily only knew it was Sirius thanks to the smell of cigarettes and firewhisky, a smell he must've bottled a long time ago. James sighed, appearing frustrated by Sirius' interruption. Lily bit back a smile when she saw the glare James sent Sirius.

"Are you two lovebirds hungry?" Sirius asked them loudly, "Cause I'm starved and Remus won't get out of bed to get dinner and I don't want to go alone."

"Why not go with Peter?" Lily raised her eyebrows at Sirius.

"I like you two more." Sirius grinned stupidly at her.

James pulled his attention from Lily to focus on what Sirius had just said, "Remus needs to eat Padfoot."

"Tell that to him," Sirius admonished darkly before turning to Lily, "How about you Evans? Hungry?"

"Not entirely." Lily replied, "James and Marlene both brought me candy."

Sirius looked put out, "And no one thought of me?"

"Let me go see if I can get Remus up." James sighed, placing a kiss on Lily's cold turned cheek, "I'll meet the both of you down in the Great Hall, and we can all have dinner together."

Sirius had seen the look on Lily's face when James walked away with a funny look in her direction.

"What's wrong?" Sirius narrowed his eyes at her.

"Why does everyone keep asking that?" Lily asked irately, "Nothings _wrong_. I just had a bad day."

"Fine." Sirius threw up his hands in defense, "Sorry I asked."

Lily rolled her eyes at Sirius purposely show him her annoyance.

"Does this have to do with your boggart encounter?" he asked and when she didn't answer Sirius didn't shut up, "My brothers room had a boggart in it once when we were kids."

Lily cleared her throat and stood up, grabbing James' bag, which he'd forgotten on his quest to get Remus to eat. Lily started decending the staircase, Sirius following behind gabbing like an old woman.

"My dad was the worst of course, and didn't believe Regulus when he said he had mummy's in his room and the poor kid was plagued by mummies at night for a month _straight_ before his real mummy finally got rid of it."

"Mummies?" Lily turned on her heel to glare at Sirius, "are not as frightening as dementors."

"Dementor in a loo." Sirius seemed amused by the direction of their conversation.

"Quite tragic." Lily said through her teeth.

"What's tragic is how you tried to get rid of it."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

Sirius shrugged, "Ingrid said that you tried to use a patronus charm on the bugger."

"Can she keep nothing to herself?" Lily muttered, rolling her eyes at the ceiling, "I mean come on, you'd think she'd have better things to do."

"I just can't believe you thought it was a real dementor."

Lily hoped James would hurry because Sirius was getting on her nerves, "What would you have done?"

"Recognized it as a boggart." Sirius said cockily, "And then used the proper spell to get rid of it."

Lily's interest perked a bit, "What is the proper spell?"

" _Riddikulus_."

"What is?"

"The spell Lily, that's the spell." Sirius sniffed, "My mum had to make the mummy unravel itself, in turn making Regulus laugh, to kill the boggart."

"Oh good," Lily said moodily, "So all I had to do was laugh and the boggart wouldn't have tried to suck out my soul?"

"I wasn't aware gingers had souls to suck." At Lily's pointed scowl Sirius snorted, "You're in a right mood, aren't you? What was so bad about today that everyone brought you candy? It wasn't like your patronus didn't work—Ingrid said it was corporeal."

"I'm not mad about the boggart." Lily snapped.

Sirius' grey eyes shined treacherously, "Ah, you're mad it's a doe."

"How'd you know that?!" Lily spun on her heel, whipping her wand out to point it at Sirius' chest because of fucking course Sirius Black knew the truth before anyone else.

 _Of fucking course._

Sirius raised an eyebrow at her, "Well, Ingrid said she thought it was a doe but you were _insistent_ it was a horse…" at Lily's guilty look Sirius said, "Lucky for you James was nowhere around when Ingrid spilled the story to me."

"You know what it means then, if our patronus' match?"

"Of course." Sirius barked a laugh, "I had to do the same report as you."

"Are you going to tell James?"

Sirius arched an eyebrow, "Not my plan, why?"

"I don't really know how I feel about this yet."

Sirius licked his lips before replying, "What are you going to do when he puts two and two together?"

"I don't care," Lily replied, "Just keep him busy so I can figure out how to make sure this is real and not some sick joke…"

"That won't be hard, he was already kinda infringing upon our plans tonight by hanging out with you." Sirius said stealthily.

Lily tilted her head, "What's tonight?" she managed a joking grin, "Marauders club night?"

A wolfish grin replaced the moody look, "Eh, that's for the marauders to know and you to never find out." He winked and waved her away, "Go _think_ …I'll make sure James stays busy at least until tomorrow morning—then he's your problem again."

Lily snorted, wondering what on earth could keep James occupied for so long. Nonetheless she passed over James' bag to Sirius, who saluted her playfully. She was surprised to have an ally in Sirius, but he couldn't deny it was helpful.

"Have fun doing whatever you're doing tonight." She offered.

Sirius shoved his hands into his pockets, "You have your secrets Evans, and we've got ours."

The night after Hogsmede, Hogwarts castle woke up covered in a foot or two of white snow. The fluffy snow was piled on windowsills, lacing branches in the forbidden forest, and creating a soft mood as students lazed about in the morning. Lily, thanks to the lazy mood of everyone else, managed to get breakfast and disappear to the library quite quickly without running into her boyfriend or any of her other friends. The library was empty save for a few Hufflepuff's gossiping by the large brick fireplace. Lily headed to the back stacks where she knew the book she was looking for existed.

The castle was not well heated and her fingers were cold as they skimmed the spines of the charms section. Lily was wearing a thick woolen sweater under her robes but it still wasn't enough since her school skirt left her legs bare. Lily bit her lip, trying to ignore how much the fireplace up in the Gryffindor common room called for her to curl up next to it. James would find her there and happily curl up next to her, leaving her no time to explore their relationship more.

No matter how many books Lily pulled off the shelves she came to no helpful conclusion. Every charm book that mentioned patronus' also mentioned the unique circumstance where corporeal patronus' matched in relationships and that was a sign of true love. Some books said that patronus' can change based on large impacts to a soul like marriage or death…but instances like Lily and James were relatively unheard of. Lily groaned in frustration and let her head fall back against one of the bookshelves.

It was half past noon and she knew she'd have to make her way back to society before her friends noticed she was missing in action. Lily decided that she only had one other option, and that was to ask Professor Pidge for help. Her jaw was tight as she walked to the Defense Against the Dark Arts corridor.

Lily shook her head as she came upon Professor Pidge's office. Luckily for Lily, the old man was seated at his desk listening to the awful opera music he so loved. She could hear it filtering out the doorway, keeping students at bay. Lily swallowed before taking a deep breath and walking into the Pigeon zone.

Upon hearing Lily's footsteps Professor Pidge turned the sound down with a flick of his wand.

"Who is it?"

"Lily Evans."

Professor Pidge sighed and leaned into his chair, "It's a Sunday girl, go away."

"I had a question about patronus' and how they _uh_ —represent the soul." Lily walked into the office, taking a seat on the chair opposite Pigeon's desk without quarry.

Lines formed on Pigeon's forehead, "Why could this be important enough to ruin both our Sunday mornings?"

Lily tugged on her red hair unhappily, "Well, I don't know if you heard what happened at the Three Broomsticks yesterday—"

"No." Pidge snapped, "I don't tend to listen to student gossip."

Lily tried not to get angry at his short temper, "I did a corporeal patronus yesterday Professor and I have a few concerns…one concern really."

"The animal won't change if that's what you're asking." Pigeon said with a roll of his unseeing eyes, "If you got a skunk coming out of your wand you got a skunk and nothing will change it."

"First of all, it wasn't a skunk." Lily said prickly, "Second of all, I'm offended that you even think a reflection of my soul would be a _skunk_."

Pigeon grinned ruthlessly, "Alas, I was surprised to find your Head Boy got a stag instead of the chimpanzee that I pegged him for."

Lily forgot that Pigeon knew James' patronus form. James was one of a few students who managed the corporeal patronus. She had to be carful and not admit her own Patronus form. She didn't want Pidge to know.

"I'm not here about the form, not exactly." Lily evaded the truth, "I want to know about matching patronus' in particular."

Pigeon leaned forward in his chair so abruptly it caught Lily off guard, "Evans, does your patronus match another?"

"Uh," Lily didn't want to tell Pigeon of all people the truth, she couldn't, "Maybe?"

"Huh." Pigeon's fingers tapped the desk faintly to the music in the background, "Well, I'm assuming if you've come to me then you know the implications of such a phenomenon."

"Soulmates." Lily whispered, before hurriedly saying, "But that's just foolish, right? The concept of true love is-"

"Real?"

"True love?" Lily debated, " _Real_?"

"You're foolish, girl." Professor Pidge replied, "I spent years studying the concepts of love and it's magic—it's how I met my wife."

"I know." Lily tucked her head, "Or well, I knew you were married."

"You kids gossip far too much for my taste," Pidge grumbled, "You should all be more concerned with the people outside of these halls, not a bitter old man within them."

"For what it's worth," she told him, "You might only be here on favor for Dumbledore but you're the only teacher in this school who tries to warn us about the cruel irony of the world."

"What cruel irony has befallen you, girl?" Pidge snapped, "Did someone you love die?"

"No."

"Are you in trouble?"

"Only romantically." She didn't know where those words came from so sardonically but they made Professor Pidge arch an eyebrow.

"Your patronus matches someone in your class, doesn't it?" he asked perceptively and she was glad he couldn't see her blush.

"Uh." She looked at the floor thinking of her doe, "It may be similar to someone else's patronus—"

"Then you should consider yourself very lucky." Pidge retorted, "It's a rare phenomenon to have a patronus match with no prior tampering of the heart."

"How do you know so much about this stuff?" Lily asked, "Did you study this with your wife in the Department of Mysteries?"

"Get out." Pidge demanded, "Your game of twenty questions is over."

Lily stood up angrily, making sure to stomp her feet to let her anger known. She trudged back over to the door but Pigeon's fascinated tone stopped her.

"Evans what form did your corporeal patronus take?"

"I—I uh-." Lily whispered tragically gripping the doorframe, "I didn't see it."

"Well," Pigeon called after her, "Once you figure it out and if it _does_ match someone in your class. I'd like to speak with both of you."

Lily frowned, "Why?"

"Because I don't think you quite understand how special it would be to have someone so purely yours that living without that person is like walking through Hell for the rest of your life."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lily whispered.

Pigeon stared at the back of his office with a look that could only be described as heartbreak, "If your patronus does match someone else's, it'd be cruel to not let them know."

Lily thought about Pigeons warning and swallowed darkly. Luckily for Lily, Sirius hadn't managed to keep James away because James ended up walking up to the Gryffindor portrait hole at the same time as Lily. He wasn't alone. Peter edged around Lily, sending James a look as he entered the portrait hole without the couple.

"Don't be too long Prongs." Peter warned James and James frowned.

Lily lifted her eyebrows in surprise at Peter's warning. James had limited time with her now. Lily turned her surprised expression on James and he didn't seem worried by Peter's weird ultimatum.

"Hey," he said with a smile, "Where have you been?"

"Here." She replied awkwardly, "There. Around."

James helped her into the portrait hole, placing a kiss on her hand as he held it. Lily couldn't help feeling guilty for the secret she was keeping. Lily kept ahold of his fingers. James kissed her on the cheek next, making her close her eyes against his tender touch.

"You alright?" James asked, "Marlene told us you left the dorm early this morning."

"I had a few things to think about." She said, "How's Remus?"

James sniffed, "Remus?"

"Last night Sirius said Remus wasn't eating?"

James blinked rapidly, "oh," his hazel eyes glanced at the floor, "He's at the Hospital Wing right now."

"Remus is in the Hopsital Wing, _again_?"

"Breath," James clamed her down instantly, "Remus is fine. He's only spending the night."

Lily narrowed her eyes when he couldn't look her in the eyes, "If he's fine, why is he spending the night?"

"Can we not talk about this?" James begged, "Remus hates it when people talk about him getting sick all the time."

"Remus doesn't have to know I'm asking if you don't tell him." Lily crossed her arms, "So what's wrong with him?"

James suddenly looked nervous, "Oh, well…the thing is we still have our plans and Peter's waiting for me upstairs."

"Plans without Remus?" Lily questioned.

"Yeah." James itched his head, "Uh, you know, we've had these plans for months so…as much as I'd love to talk, I actually have to be meeting Peter upstairs in like two minutes."

"What are you boys doing that's so important?" Lily asked.

"Board games." He sent her a shit-eating grin and she almost punched him in the arm but his kissed her cheek and ran away like a coward.

James was lying.

Lily could tell.

But she couldn't do anything about James lying because Lily was lying to him too.

Some soulmates they were.

* * *

 **Next Time:**

James rolled his eyes at her nagging, "Remus is fine."

Lily kicked him lightly, "Now whose the liar?"

He kicked her back, "Now whose the nosy one?"

"As your girlfriend I reserve the right to be nosy."

James placed the feather of his quill against her nose playfully, "You're such a hypocrite."

She blew at the feather insistently, "One of my many flaws."

* * *

Thank you guys for always being so patient and ALSO for leaving me such nice reviews. I'm trying really hard to do this story in my head justice, that's why it's taking me longer to update. **Shoutout to Elle for listening to me complain for WEEKS about the original version of this chapter and finally telling me to just ditch it.**

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, the next chapter will be just as hard for me to write, because there is smut planned, so keep those fingers crossed that I can deliver.

all my love,

Petals


	12. True Love: Part 1

**Okay so after writing this all the way through and rewriting and deleting and editing I had to split chapter 12 up or it was too overwhelming…so this story went from having 13 chapters to having 14 and a half chapters because I hate myself. THANK YOU for reading and reviwing and being so kind and thoughtful. I don't deserve you.**

 **xxx**

 **Petals**

* * *

12.

 _You can hear it in the silence_

 _You can feel it on the way home_

 _You can see it with the lights out._

 _You're in love, true love._

"Exspecto patronum."

The doe frolicked about Lily's vision for a minute in the dark. It's skin seemed to glow silver and blue, almost like a ghost. In a way, Lily speculated it was an apparition of her soul. She'd stared at the doe long enough to appreciate the way that it's ears curved up in interest, as if Lily had said something special to it. It made no noise as it stood in the middle of her quiet dorm, the only noise coming from where Marlene snored on her own bed. Like the ten other corporeal patronus' Lily had conjured overnight, the doe slowly disappeared.

 _Soulmates._

To Lily, who had never thought about love in that capacity before, the word itself seemed so permanent.

Not that she didn't like James or care about him to think about an undeviating life with him. In fact, the only thing Lily _could_ think of was how much she cared about James' well being. She wanted to know he was safe. She wanted to know that she could count on him to have her back. Lily wanted to know that whatever warm feeling was resting at the pit of her stomach was the same feeling that James got whenever he thought of her in the middle of the night.

Whenever Lily produced the patronus that night—it had been with a memory of James. It was James laughing at one of her sarcastic trills. It was James dancing with her at Slughorn's Hollows Eve party. It was James kissing her in ways that made her skin flush red and her mind wander elsewhere.

So maybe that's why it stung when Lily realized that they were both lying to each other. Maybe that's why she couldn't sleep as she imagined coming clean and telling him about her patronus as soon as she saw him the next morning. She knew that if she told James the truth then maybe he'd be more inclined to share some of the secrets he kept with his mates. Lily knew that Peter probably was the one telling James to keep secrets…Remus and Sirius had only ever been open with her.

Lily knew James was pretty much always honest with her. It was just whatever he got up to at night that concerned her. Not that she didn't trust him (because she trusted him with a lot) it was just that she was worried. And that worry actually astounded Lily because it was the same worry she'd felt when she learned her dad was sick with cancer in sixth year. It was the same worry she felt when her old cat Fluffs had gotten hit by a car. It was worry stemmed from affection.

Lily pulled her wand closer to her eyes in the dark and stared at it. Around her, the other girls were still fast asleep. The sun hadn't even risen into view yet. Lily felt the edges of her wand, well worn after seven years of magic. Seven years of casting magical spells and putting people in their place, if need be. She remembered the many times she'd turned the wand on James when they were younger and smiled.

Times had changed so much since she was fifteen and Lily was finally accepting that. She thought she didn't know what love was but interestingly enough, she'd just never accepted that a person could love in so many different ways.

Lily loved her parents. She loved the way they accepted her for her magic, even though she was different from them. Alternatively, James accepted Lily for her blood status, despite being raised in a family whose wizardry ancestry goes hundreds of years back.

Lily loved Marlene. She loved Marlene's laugh whenever Lily said something utterly absurd. James' laugh was her favorite part of James whenever he was amused by her fascinations. Lily _especially_ loved James' laugh after he said something raunchy and playful when they were teasing each other.

Lily loved Mary. She loved Mary for being outspoken and smart, especially if they weren't always seeing eye-to-eye. James was like Mary, in some ways, because he never failed to send Lily an aloof look when she was being difficult.

When she finally told him about the patronus charm, James was certain to send her a lot of different looks. Lily smiled to herself as she imagined his face. He'd likely complain for a bit that she should've said something sooner and then James would push her up against a wall and snog the life out of her (and she'd let him) because he always was the zealous one. She loved him for that passion.

Lily could pinpoint the exact moment, the exact memory, when she'd decided she liked James Potter.

It had been in her fifth year right before OWLs. Marlene and Ingrid had come running up to her, both of their eyes bright with gossip. Lily had been sitting in the courtyard with Mary going over charms notes. Lily remembered the shock when she'd been told the rumors circulating around Hogwarts, murmurs about James and her ex friend Severus Snape.

 _"Did you hear?!"_

Lily remembered it had taken two seconds for Ingrid to spill the beans. Ingrid hadn't changed much in the past seven years; she'd always been interested in gossip. Lily's eyes scanned Ingrid's closed bed curtains as she recalled the events in her minds eye.

 _"Severus Snape went snooping around the whomping willow last night and it almost killed him—"_

Lily remembered the panic in her heart when she'd heard that. She remembered dropping her quill and Mary having to pick it up. Snape was Lily's friend back then and Lily recalled being upset for him, until Marlene finished the story. In fact, the same moment she she'd decided she liked James was the same moment she started to wonder about Snape.

 _"You'll never guess who told Snape not to go down in the willow, James Potter!"_

Lily recollected the second of startling disbelief at the mention of Snape's nemesis. The boys had never gotten along and Lily knew they constantly went at it in the hallways so she wondered what had made James try and save Snape from the hazardous tree. Mary and Lily both agreed it was about time James started caring about someone other than himself.

Of course, later, Lily had learned the real story. Snape had been dared into trying to get past the dangerous tree called The Whomping Willow. It was a banned section of the school after a student had their eye poked out by the magical swinging branches that aimed to kill. Sirius had dared Snape and Lily knew Snape would never resist a challenge from James or Sirius. When James had gotten wind of what Sirius had done, he raced to the rescue and saved Snape's life before the tree offed him.

That was the moment Lily when thought that maybe James wasn't as irritatingly vain as he let on. Before that moment, Lily hadn't liked James very much. He was all skin and bones with a mess of black hair atop his head. He played with snitches in class and wrecked havoc with fanged Frisbee's in the halls. James used to wear glasses that were too large for his face. He used to laugh too loud and brag too much.

He was still loud and he still liked to brag but Lily liked him. She liked him enough to stay up all night thinking of the ways she adored him. Lily had never stayed up all night thinking about a boy before.

By the time the sun rose and shone into the dormitory, Lily was sitting on the edge of her bed staring at her shoes pointedly. Her heels were clicking together as she went over what she was going to say to James for the sixth time. She wondered if she should wait downstairs and grab him before breakfast…or if she should go right to his dorm.

A pillow smacked Lily in the head and Lily's head flew up in disbelief, "Ouch!"

Around Lily, the other Gryffindor girls were getting ready for class. Mary was slipping into her robes, talking to Ingrid and Sue about some wizard rock concert Cattermole wanted to take her to over the holidays. Marlene was the one who had noticed Lily staring intently at the floor. She had a cool smirk that named her the pillow thrower.

"You've been staring at the floor the past five minutes. You okay?" Marlene asked.

Lily chewed on her bottom lip and nodded, "Yeah, just thinking."

"About James." Ingrid grinned as Mary rolled her eyes behind Ingrid.

Ingrid and Susan exchanged a glance before both girls left the dorm whispering and giggling excitedly. Lily was happy they'd decided to leave so she could talk to Marlene in peace. Mary finished buttoning her robes, listening intently to Lily and Marlene's conversation.

Marlene sighed and sat on the bed next to Lily, "Did you speak to Professor Pidge?"

Lily nodded, "Yes, Marlene, I spoke to him."

"And?"

Lily reasoned, "And nothing."

Marlene raised an eyebrow, "And have you spoken to James?"

"James had to do something with the boys last night." Lily said, pulling on one of her shoes finally, "So we couldn't talk."

"You said you wanted to talk to James and he ran off?" Marlene seemed surprised by that news.

"Er, no," Lily said uncomfortably, "I sort of asked James why Remus was in the Hospital Wing again and he got a bit…testy."

"You were worried about one of his friends and he got mad?" Mary spoke up from where she was braiding her hair, "What a di—"

Lily cut in to defend James, "I pushed him, and he clearly didn't want to talk about it."

"You didn't just blurt out the fact that you're soulmates?"

"I got distracted when I simply asked how Remus was doing because Sirius said he wasn't eating…and then fucking Peter told James not to take too long…"

"Are you jealous?" Marlene looked amused, "Spending too much time with his mates and not enough time snogging you? Eh?"

"I'm not jealous, I like his mates for the most part." Lily huffed, "But when I asked him what he was doing with his mates last night James said they were playing _board games_."

"Board games." Marlene creased her brow, "What the Hell?"

" _Exactly_."

Marlene saw the stress lines on Lily's face, "I mean James and his mates have always been weird and disappear together for hours."

Mary spoke up from beside her trunk, "We all know they just go up to the astronomy tower to drink and play cards."

Lily stood up and stretched, disagreeing with Mary, "They don't give a damn. They probably have firewhisky in the dorm every night."

"Either way," Marlene interjected, "Mary has a point, it was probably nothing. James was just teasing."

"I can tell when he's joking around," Lily said, "He didn't look me in the eyes the entire conversation."

"I still maintain you should've just told James the moment you saw him."

"Forgive me for asking about his ill friend." Lily grabbed her book bag roughly from the floor.

"Remus is always ill." Marlene said, "Remember when James told everyone he had a sickly rabbit too?"

Lily remembered clearly. She remembered all the years of botched up excuses like sick rabbits and board games. The only other person who had wondered what the boys were up too through the years was the one person Lily would never speak to again unless she absolutely had too: Severus Snape. No answers were worth talking to Snape in Lily's book. Snape had drug Lily through the dirt and back again when they were fifteen and didn't even deserve a glance in his general direction.

"Come on you two," Mary pleaded from the door, "We're going to miss breakfast if you keep talking up here. James is a prick. We get it. Let's go. I'm starving and Reg is waiting."

Marlene grabbed Lily's hand and dragged her out of the dorm. Lily tried to wait for James in the common room but Marlene told Lily she could fix her mistakes after breakfast. The girls walked arm in arm to breakfast quietly. It seemed that Lily wasn't the only one caught up in her own thoughts. Mary was biting her lip and Marlene was playing with her curls absentmindedly.

Lily considered that if James was at breakfast she could probably get him away from his mates long enough to tell him about their patronus' and get them back to class in time. Of course, her plans failed when James (or any of his mates) never made it to breakfast. In fact, they didn't show up to Transfiguration either. Lily felt like she had her head on a constant swivel, watching for a pair of memorable hazel eyes. If Marlene noticed Lily's antsy behavior, she said nothing, but Lily had a feeling the smirk on Marley's face when Lily stared at the door to the classroom while McGonagall lectured was all Marlene _had_ to say.

James didn't show up to Defense Against the Dark Arts and Lily's jaw was growing constricted. She'd stayed up all night planning on what she was going to say to him. She wanted to be the first to get a word in but she had a feeling that James was going to appear when she least expected it. Every second that passed while Professor Pidge lectured about dark creatures was excruciating because Lily's eyes didn't leave the door. It was lucky that Pigeon was blind and couldn't see the way that Lily was grinding her teeth. Next to Lily, Marlene's eyebrows were shot to her hairline as she chewed on a sugar quill, watching Lily squirm.

"It's fine." Marlene said as they packed up their bags for lunch, "He's probably just dealing with Head Duties."

When the girls left the classroom for lunch the only thing that dragged James from the front of Lily's mind was when Marlene cheerily said goodbye to Professor Pidge. Professor Pidge told Marlene to have a nice day and even smiled a bit, even if his eyes weren't focused.

What really shocked Lily was when Pigeon said, "If that's you Miss Evans dragging your feet behind Miss McKinnon, remember to let me know if you find out your patronus match."

Before Lily could even roll her eyes, Marlene said without pause, "It's James Potter."

"Marlene!" Lily lamented as Pigeon sat up in his chair and Lily covered her face with her hands.

"What," Marlene shrugged, " _You_ weren't going to bloody tell him."

Pigeon laughed at the irony, "Well, well, The Head Boy and Head Girl. Soulmates."

Lily winced and uncovered her face, thankful to see the classroom was empty of prying ears, "Yeah," she said irritably, "But he doesn't know yet so—"

"Ah," Pigeon's eyes followed the sound of Lily's voice; "You should come visit with him once he knows."

"She will." Marlene announced happily, wrapping her arm in Lily's despite Lily's glare, "You can tell them more about—"

Lily cut Marlene off and said forcefully, "Thanks Professor, we've got to be getting to lunch."

Pigeon snapped, "Miss Evans you shouldn't leave the boy in the dark."

Lily stood up straighter, not wanting a lecture from Pigeon of all people, "That's rich coming from a Professor who spent the first two months keeping his students in the dark."

Lily grabbed Marlene's arm as they followed the crowd of students to the Great Hall. Marlene ripped her hand from Lily's crossly.

"That was rude Lily!" Marlene stopped walking, standing like a statue in the hall.

Lily stopped in the corridor and glanced at Marlene, who appeared furious, "he's a prick." Lily retorted, "He just wanted to make me feel like an idiot."

"He wanted to invite you to talk to him with James." Marlene crossed her arms.

Lily blanched, "I don't want to talk to him about patronus' ever again, he's the rude one."

"He knows more than you give him credit for."

"We literally know nothing about him…except that he hates this job…hates everything…and your own _brother_ told me that people think he killed his wife! Doesn't that concern you?"

"He's the only teacher here who actually showed up to my parents funeral!" Marlene shouted abruptly, her face red; "You and Eric shouldn't have been gossiping about things you don't understand!"

"And you do?" Lily said nastily.

Marlene's shoulder pulled tight, her blue eyes wide against her pale face. Students walking around them stared, as they passed, having never seen Marlene McKinnon and Lily Evans in the middle of a row. Lily hitched her bag on her shoulders and considered Marlene's wounded face.

Marlene rolled her eyes and flicked a glare in Lily's direction, "He's not awful Lily he's—"

"I know you like him," Lily softly, pulling her voice back down to draw less attention, "But Marlene, did he ever tell you what he did in the Department of Mysteries? When his wife died?"

"That's all you care about?" Marlene asked while she pushed tears from her cheeks, "You seriously hate Professor Pidge enough to actually believe Dumbledore would let someone who killed his wife teach us Defense Against the Dark Arts?"

Lily became uneasy, "Hate is a strong word—"

Marlene snorted finding her uneasiness hilarious, "You and James have a personal vendetta against Pigeon!" she threw her hands in the air, "its no wonder the two of you are soulmates, you're both so bloody stubborn!"

Lily couldn't argue with her there.

"Okay, fine. I'm not a fan of Pigeon and _you are right_ , he knows things about magic and patronus' that we don't and I just want to know _how_ Pidge knows all that?"

"Maybe ask him yourself?" Marlene offered derisively.

"That sounds not promising." Lily mimicked Pigeon's gruff voice, " _You are a disappointment to the human species Evans get out of my classroom._ "

Marlene actually smiled and pinched Lily's fingers with her own, "He wouldn't say that." At Lily's pointed stare it was Marlene's turn to admit the truth, "Not exactly."

The pair started walking in the direction of the Great Hall again. The hallways had mostly cleared. They didn't relink arms as they walked and Lily felt bad for yelling at Marlene. She was obviously suffering from her lack of sleep and Marlene didn't deserve to be shouted at. They'd both let their emotions get the better of them. Lily sighed and wrapped her arm in Marley's arm.

"Sorry for quarreling." Lily told Marley sympathetically, "I know you like Pigeon, but I just can't find it in me to give that man an ounce of respect."

"I know." Marlene's blonde curls fell in front of Lily's eyes, "But he really has been great to talk too. He's told me a lot of cool stories about mum and dad—" her voice trailed off and Lily egged Marley on.

"He's been telling you about the Department of Mysteries?"

Marlene nodded, "Yeah, but not just that, he's been helping me with my auror applications and the entry test."

"Was he an auror?" Lily asked.

Marlene seemed uneasy, "That's not my story to tell."

"What's not your story to tell?" Ingrid appeared behind Lily and Marlene, Susan on her left.

"Nothing." Marlene said with a glance at Lily, "We were talking about Pigeon."

Lily and Marlene fell into step with the other Gryffindor girls. The Great Hall was packed with students eating lunch and socializing. It took the girls a few extra minutes just to get to the Gryffindor table. Ingrid decided to continue the conversation even though it had clearly been dropped.

"Pigeon hates everyone." Ingrid said, "I can't believe you actually like him."

"He's been nice to Marlene ever since her parents died." Lily decided to repeat Marlene's words back in the hall to shut Ingrid up, it didn't work.

"I can't believe you're defending him." Ingrid shot Lily a startled glance, "Pigeon hates you and James the most out of anyone."

Lily pretended to be super interested in repining her head girl badge.

Ingrid continued, "Marlene is the only student Pigeon actually talks to."

"That's not true." Marlene said venomously.

Susan came to Ingrid's aid, like she always did, "Name one other student Pigeon actually likes besides you, Marley."

"Tommy Coons." Marlene replied firmly.

"Tommy Coons?" Lily's mouth dropped open and looked up from fiddling with her badge, "The same Tommy Coons who wanted James and I to get Pigeon fired the first week of school?"

Marlene nodded as the girls piled their plates high with food, "Coons lost his sister last month and Pigeon's invited him to tea a couple of times."

"Savannah Coons died?" Susan questioned in horror as all the girls' eyes traveled to the Ravenclaw table where Coons was sitting.

"Death Eaters killed her and her muggle husband." Marlene told the girls quietly, "They were married over the summer."

Lily was surprised to notice that Coons was thinner and had circles under his eyes that matched Marlene's. Coons had spent the first few weeks pestering Lily and James to talk to Pigeon about not wanting to teach the students. Lily hadn't heard Coons speak up in class in weeks and now she knew why. Lily couldn't help but feel bad for him.

Lily wondered if James knew about Coons and she looked up and down the table, disheartened when she didn't spot his messy black hair among the disarray of students.

Marlene, who had been aware of Lily's interests all morning said, "You still wondering where James is?"

"No," Lily whispered quickly and then admitted sourly, "Okay, _yes_! Where is he?"

"He's not _my_ boyfriend." Marlene said before biting into a ham sandwich, "You should put a tracing charm on him."

"I'm considering it." Lily grumbled as the other girls fell into talking about some romance novel Ingrid was reading.

Lily ate slowly, keeping an eye out for her boyfriend or one of his telling mates.

Monday was shaping up to be as big a disappointment as Sunday. The entire rest of the day neither James nor any of his mates made an appearance. Marlene thought Lily's anxiety was hilarious and at one point literally pointed down the hall and told Lily she saw James before Advanced Charms. Lily almost got whiplash, she turned so fast, and Marlene almost had a heart attack she was laughing so hard.

"It's not funny Marlene." Lily complained, "I stayed up all night preparing a speech for him and he's missing in action."

Ingrid perked up at hearing their conversation, "Who are you looking for?"

"My elusive boyfriend." Lily told Ingrid, "He and his mates have ditched all day."

"I heard Lupin was in the infirmary." Ingrid said, "Maybe they're with him?"

Lily knew that could be a possibility but still, she wished she could go to the infirmary after classes. She was itching to tell James about their patronus' and was actually missing his presence in classes. She wished she at least knew what he was doing.

Normally on Monday's James had Quidditch practice and she knew if she went to the pitch she'd probably find him doing drills until his second string cried. Alas, she was on Monday night rounds. So instead of pulling James from Quidditch practice early, Lily spent the rest of Monday patrolling the Astronomy tower with Eric Tizzie, James' fifth year protégé.

"You're quiet tonight." Tizzie said, pushing his hair back as he and Lily stationed themselves at the base of the tower.

Lily glanced sideways and smiled when she saw Tizzie running his fingers through his hair, trying and failing to look like James, "Sorry." She apologized, "I've had a lot on my mind."

Tiz nodded and adjusted his shoulders against the wall, "Are you and McKinnon on the outs?"

"What?" Lily questioned, shaking her head, "Why would you say that?"

Tizzie went a bit rosy in his cheeks, "I heard you both arguing in the hallway earlier before lunchtime." he quickly added, "I wasn't eavesdropping. You were both yelling pretty loudly."

"Oh, uh, we just disagreed about Professor Pigeon's teaching styles." Lily said delicately.

Tizzie shrugged, "I mean he's not very nice but at least he knows some stuff."

Lily tilted her head at Tizzie, "What do you mean?"

Tizzie shrugged again, "It's just after you talked to him and he started teaching us—we have been learning things that are helpful."

"Have you?" Lily asked, keeping the conversation going since they had two more hours of rounds together.

Tiz shook his head again, "Sasha Memel was able to properly identify Devils Snare being sold in Hogsmede thanks to Pigeon."

"Really?" Lily couldn't hide the surprise in her voice, "Pigeon taught her that?"

"Yeah and Sasha got awarded house points since it's illegal to sell and she identified it so quickly."

Lily had no idea about this story, "What?"

Tizzie must've noticed the questioning tone she displayed because he continued, "Sasha was checking out a herbal stand in Hogsmede and we'd been covering dark magical plants that week—so she found James in the village and he got it all sorted out."

"He didn't tell me that."

"Well, I heard you had your own problems with dark magic in Hogsmede." Tizzie replied, "You saw a dementor."

"It was a boggart." Lily shook her head, "someone left it in the loo."

"Wow." Tizzie whistled, "What's the world coming to these days?"

"Who knows." Lily whispered as she thought of James dealing with the Devils Snare.

Lily couldn't believe James hadn't mentioned having to deal with a major event in Hogsmede. Then again, Lily remembered that she hadn't exactly spent much time with James since Hogsmede. It was her own fault for not asking James how his patrols of Hogsmede went before he was set to meet her for drinks. Lily chewed on her lower lip, feeling like a shite friend and an even shittier girlfriend.

Tizzie wrinkled his nose as he continued talking, pulling Lily form her thoughts again, "I mean it was cool of Sasha to properly identify the plant since it was being sold illegally by an old hag and James gave Hufflepuff fifty extra points for Sasha's cleverness."

"That was nice of him." Lily murmured softly.

"Yeah it was really nice considering it made Gryffindor drop below Hufflepuff for the house cup running." Tizzie sounded somewhat bitter, "I wish I had noticed the stupid plant, I was right next to her at the stand looking at dragonroot."

Lily smiled at the jealous tone in Tizzie's voice, "Don't worry Tiz," she said softly, "I'm sure James will win us those points back in Quidditch."

Tizzie actually beamed at the mention of James and Quidditch, "Well, duh."

Tizzie spent the rest of their rounds telling Lily how amazing James was in the last Quidditch match. Lily (who had missed the match for the McKinnon funeral) let Tizzie go on and on about how swell her boyfriend was.

Lily had to admit, as far as boyfriends came, James was the best and she couldn't wait to tell him so to his face. Of course, when she was ready to tell James that they were soulmates and she was head-over-heels for him, James was missing. Lily asked everyone in the common room that night and no one had seen or heard James. Carissa Rogers said she'd spotted Peter Pettigrew go up to the dorms alone but Peter was the last marauder Lily wanted to see.

Lily's heart to heart with James would have to wait until morning, as long as he didn't ditch classes again.

* * *

 **Next Time:**

"This isn't about the stupid patronus." Lily snapped before withdrawing, "Well, some of it is…but not…" Lily frowned not knowing how to tell James her real problem, "How's Remus?"

"Remus is fine."

"Now whose the liar?" Lily crossed her arms.

He crossed his arms in return, "Now whose the nosy one?"

"As your girlfriend I reserve the right." she mimicked his words from moments before and James' eyes closed like he was praying.

"Remus is _fine_ , Lily." James promised, "I should've never told you he was in the Hospital Wing—he'd be embarrassed to hear you care so much."


	13. True Love: Part 2

**And here's part two of the "true love" chapter. Thank you everyone for your kind words and love! This chapter does have a bit of politely written smut. K? K. Enjoy!**

* * *

 _13._

 _And I understand now_

 _Why they lost their minds and fought the wars_

 _And why I've spent my whole life trying to put it into words_

 _You're in love, true love._

Tuesday morning arrived swiftly and Lily didn't wake up from her deep sleep until Marlene shook her awake roughly. Lily squealed and slapped her hands over her face in disappointment. Nothing could be more important than the fact that she'd been having a nice dream where James took her to a Quidditch match in France.

"Lily get up or you'll be late for breakfast." Marlene cautioned.

"What time is it?" Lily asked through her fingers.

Mary spoke up from somewhere by the dormitory door, "It's quarter to seven."

Lily sat up straight, already cursing herself for sleeping longer than she was supposed too, "I have to finish that _stupid_ Magical Creature's essay for Pidge."

Marlene's eyebrows rose and watched as Lily scrambled to get all her things together in a matter of seconds, "You didn't do that last night?"

"I had rounds!" Lily protested as she quickly ran a brush through her hair, "I was exhausted because I didn't sleep the night before and I fell asleep last night before I could even think about homework."

Professor Pidge had assigned the essay in class the day before. In all the excitement yesterday (or lack-there-of since James was absent) Lily had forgotten to write it. It was a simple essay; they were supposed to write a few paragraphs on each of the assigned dark creatures.

Lily decided she'd write it at breakfast and was hopeful her boyfriend would be waiting for her in the Great Hall. Unfortunately though, the only boys she recognized were Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew. Lily put her hand on Sirius' shoulder as she followed the other girls to their spot at the table. Sirius turned his head and emitted a gratifying smile up at her.

"Evans!" he hailed, "here to have breakfast with us?"

"Have you seen James?" Lily cut to the chase, "You were all missing from classes yesterday and I really need to talk to him."

"He'll be down in a bit." Sirius said, scooting over to make room for her on his right, "Sit."

Lily sent a look back to Marlene and Marlene waved Lily's remorseful look away. Lily cleaned her throat and dropped to the seat beside Sirius. Sirius and Peter were doing the crossword together and Lily only stared on for a few moments before grabbing her quill and spare parchment from her book bag. Sirius noticed her engagements and paused his crossword to stare at her.

"What?" Lily asked defensively when she noticed his stare.

"What are you doing homework for?"

"Pigeon assigned an essay for class." She said, "Which you'd know if you had bothered to show up for class."

"Oh," Sirius said dimly before turning back to his crossword, "I thought it was for something important."

Sometimes Lily couldn't believe how much Sirius didn't care about school. It wasn't like he was stupid, in fact, Lily was sure Sirius had great marks. He could not study for any class and easily pass the tests. It frustrated Lily to no end that he didn't even try at anything and he was still an amazing wizard.

In fact, all of James' friends were pretty good at school. James himself was always good at Transfiguration and Defense Against the Dark Arts. Peter was well known for his affinity to History of Magic and wasn't too shabby at Potions either. Remus was amazing at Defense Against the Dark Arts; he'd spent a lot of time in fifth year helping Lily study for her OWLs. All four boys were so talented and Lily wondered why no one at school gave them more credit other than calling them trouble.

Lily turned back to her essay and it was while quickly writing through the banshee and moving on to werewolf that made her quill pause in its hasty scratching.

Werewolf was next in the book but it wasn't on the list of animals Pigeon had assigned. That was surprising to Lily since werewolves were one of the most known dark creatures. It was Defense Against the Dark Arts—that meant teaching them to defend themselves against all the dark arts: dementors, boggarts, banshees, and werewolves. Why in the world would Pigeon skip werewolves?

Lily glanced over at the teacher table. Professor Pigeon was sitting next to Professor McGonagall eating breakfast peacefully. Maybe he'd accidently forgotten to include werewolves in the reading? Lily stood up pointedly to go ask Pigeon if he wanted werewolves in the essay.

"Where are you going?" Sirius looked up at her, "James is on his way down."

"I have to ask Pidge a question." Lily said, "I'll be right back."

"Your funeral." Sirius replied before turning back to his crossword.

But before she could make it three steps from the Gryffindor table two Slytherins in long black robes stopped her with grave faces.

"Evans?"

Lily was startled to see Avery from Slytherin on the Gryffindor side and at his side Snape stood looking equally as out of place. Lily couldn't help sending Snape a well-deserved glare before considering blonde Avery again.

"Avery." She said coolly, "How can I help you?"

"Did your boyfriend finish the rounds schedule yet?"

Lily pulled her fingers through her hair, "uh, no not yet."

"Potter was supposed to finish them last night." Avery scowled, "I have to make the quidditch schedule today."

Before Lily could answer, before she could say anything, Snape interjected.

"Funny," Snape said cunningly, making all parties look at him, "That Potter's always slacking so he and his friends can go off and be pricks."

Lily couldn't help the flash of protective wrath that erupted on her face and she stepped forward angrily, making both Slytherins step back, "James doesn't _slack_." She said confidently, "If you both must know, his friend was sick and James was helping him all night."

"Lupin?" Snapes eyes flickered back to her and Lily chewed on her lower lip.

"I never said it was—"

"You didn't have too."

And the look in his eyes made Lily uncomfortable.

Lily was about to tell off Snape again when an arm slung affectionately around her shoulders. Lily looked over her shoulder, flabbergasted to see James, arriving right on time like Pricne Charming swooping in on a white horse. He was dressed in slacks and a white shirt, his head boy pin haphazardly pinned on his white collar. It was the first time she'd seen him in a while and she was sad to find he looked drained mentally and physically.

"Hey," Lily placed a hand on his chest worriedly, "James are you okay?"

"Fine, love." And he looked a little better when he smiled at her so kindly before glaring at the Slytherin's again, "The prefect schedule is in McGonagall's office Avery." James said firmly, "I put it there this morning."

"That's a whole day late Potter." Avery hissed as James yawned beside Lily.

"One day won't make a difference." Lily righted her words again and sent Avery a look, "Slytherin's quidditch team will still be crushed in every game because their Captain is a git."

Avery narrowed his eyes, hand reaching for his wand, You two are the _worst_ Heads this school has _ever_ seen because you're too busy shagging each other behind tapestry's to do your fucking job."

James' shoulder's tightened and he woke right up at that comment, "Hey!" James snapped, "Don't talk to us like—"

"Is everything alright here?" Sirius stood up form the Gryffindor table and had his own wand out.

"Avery was just leaving." Lily said coolly.

"Watch your backs, Gryffindors." Avery threatened, "you're only brave when you're with your pack."

"Slither on out of here _snake_ , before I find a reason to give you detention other than the fact you're fucking annoying me and my girlfriend." James rolled his eyes, pointing to the Slytherin table.

"Looking tired Potter." Snape said lucidly as he and Avery pushed past the Gryffindor's back to their own table, "Have a good time frolicking in the moonlight last night?"

"What the Hell?" Lily glared at Snape, _frolicking in the moonlight?_

"Fuck you." James said irritably as his shoulder hit Snape in passing.

 _"Lupin disappears every month at the full moon."_

The words weren't spoken out loud.

They were from a memory Lily had pushed to the back of her mind that were drawn front and center by Snape's smirk as he walked away from the Gryffindor table.

And really, after everything, Lily couldn't believe she'd been so stupid and blind.

The truth was literally resting in front of her in a book on magical creatures. It was the one thing Pigeon had never assigned. It was the one answer she'd been avoiding all seven years of knowing Remus Lupin.

 _"There's something weird about Lupin."_ Snape had always said when they were kids practicing charms in the courtyard, _"Where does he keep going?"_

Through the years Remus disappeared once a month for a day or longer. The first ones to notice it were the Gryffindor's. When Lily and her mates asked about it James had told them Remus got sick a lot. Lily had accepted James' answer as truth but then Severus had always been so determined to prove James and his friends were trouble and he told Lily he'd noticed a trend in Remus' disappearances.

 _"Every month at the full moon?"_

Back then, Lily had brushed Snape off indifferently because she was certain Remus Lupin couldn't be a werewolf. Lily assumed that the far-fetched theory was only Snape trying to paint Remus a monster. Lily's friendship with Severus was cut short right after he'd noticed the trends and Lily never really thought about it again...

Until she started hanging out with James and his mates more. They were oddly protective of Remus, especially Peter. They were definitely hiding something and Lily had to consider that Snape knew the truth—and the truth was that Remus Lupin was a werewolf.

It was painfully obvious to Lily that she'd been an idiot because she knew Remus was always sick and she new James was hiding something but she never assumed they were related until now.

Lily turned to face James, staring up at him in shock. James mistook her shock for yearning and tucked his fingers under her chin to lift her face forwards for a instant kiss against the lips.

"Got any of that sleeping drought?" he baited when he pulled away, "I'm dog-tired."

"You weren't playing board games."

"Sorry?" James asked, smiling a bit as he tucked her hair behind her ear, "What's that?"

Lily poked her finger into his chest, "I said board games my _arse_ , James Potter. You lied to me."

James rolled his eyes, "You've got to elaborate I—"

"Where's Remus?" Lily asked, raising an eyebrow.

James pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, "We drank our weight in firewhisky last night and he's sleeping it off?"

Lily couldn't believe she was actually figuring it out so late. Remus wasn't sick. Remus was a werewolf. James was in on the secret and had kept it from everyone. Lily glanced around and noticed Remus was the only one of James' friends missing from the Great Hall. James noticed her untrustworthy eyes and grew alarmed.

"Hey," He pulled his fingers against her cheek to make her look into his eyes, "What's going on?"

Lily tucked her hand in his robes, "Can we please go somewhere private?"

James' face was lined with concern now, "What happened?"

"A lot." She whispered, "A lot happened in the past 48 hours and I need to talk to you."

His hands cupped her cheeks, "Talk then."

"And we can't talk in front of anyone else."

James nodded sternly before taking her hand and leading her out of the Great Hall. She loved that he kept his arms slung around her waist as they walked, seemly determined to make sure she was okay. His look of concern only grew as they got closer and closer to the dorms. He pulled her into the Gryffindor Common room and up the staircase into the vacant boy's dormitory. It was messier than the last time Lily had been there. Clothes were strewn about the floor and all the boy's beds looked...empty…like the boys hadn't been sleeping in them. Lily couldn't resist her eyes fluttering to Remus' four-poster. The curtains were drawn open and the mattress was empty.

"Well?" James asked apprehensively, shutting the dorm door and watching Lily pace back and forth between beds.

"I'm trying to decide where to start?" she was wringing her hands together.

James crossed his arms, "Are you breaking up with me?"

Lily stopped pacing and stared dead on at James, "Of course not!"

Some of the concern left his face and he looked relieved, "Okay," his voice had gotten lower since they left the Great Hall, "What's wrong then?"

Lily squeaked, "I just—I don't know if you should sit down first?"

James was not taking her seriously anymore, "Well, how bad is it?"

"Not bad?" she questioned herself and James leaned against the door.

"Whenever you're ready." He opened his arms wide before crossing them again.

Lily looked awkwardly at the floor, "I'm sorry," she whispered, "But I kinda already had the idea and then I was doing the essay for Defense and normally I wouldn't care but you're involved with it and I care about you—"

"What are you babbling about?" he asked, "You aren't making any sense."

"Sorry," she shook her shoulders, "I've just—"

"Are you okay?" he took a step away from the door and towards her station between his bed and Sirius' bed.

"I'm fine." She lied.

James pushed his square frames up his long nose, "You're such a liar."

"I'm serious James." Lily put her hands on her hips as he took another step closer, "I'm fine it's just—"

"Everyone's noticed how quiet you are Lily," James cut her off, "As your boyfriend I have a right to be worried."

"How quiet I am?" Lily defended, "I'm not quiet!"

"Are you still upset about the boggart?" James ignored her snap; "Sirius said you were taking the dementor thing hard. It wasn't _real_ Lily. And you did some amazing magic. Half our class can't do a corporeal patronus."

"This isn't about the stupid patronus." Lily snapped before withdrawing, "Well, some of it is…but not…" Lily frowned not knowing how to tell James her real problem, "How's Remus?"

"Remus is fine."

"Now whose the liar?" Lily crossed her arms.

He crossed his arms in return, "Now whose the nosy one?"

"As your girlfriend I reserve the right."

"Remus is _fine_ , Lily." James promised, "I should've never told you he was in the hospital wing—he'd be embarrassed to hear you care so much."

"What about full moons?"

"Nah, he's also got a horrid rash on his—wait _what_?"

At the shift in James' expression Lily whispered, "James, I know about Remus."

James took one step back, "What?" he sputtered, "You—I mean—wait _how_ do you know?"

Lily shrugged and pulled on her red hair self-consciously, "Oh, just with Remus disappearing every month _at the full moon_ I'm surprised no one else has figured it out."

James sat on the end of Sirius' bed, looking impressed, "I told them we couldn't underestimate you."

Lily was confused now, "Told who?"

James' eyes lifted to meet hers, "Remus. Peter. All of them."

"I mean really," she whispered, "How long did you think it would take me to figure it out?"

"Honestly?" James twisted up his face; "Peter was rather hoping you'd be as oblivious about Remus' secret as you were about me fancying you since fourth year."

"So it's true." Lily leaned against James' four-poster, staring at her boyfriend in amazement.

"So, you figured it out alone?"

Lily ignored his question, "I have a question."

James arched an eyebrow at her, "I thought you were giving me the answers, not the other way around?"

Lily stood up and paced again, thinking back to the past few months, "Two months ago when you showed up late to class and begged me for a sleeping draught was it because you were up all night with Remus?"

"Yes." James replied simply, "I only skip class for Remus."

Lily chewed on her lower lip as she considered all the times James and his mates had skipped class. She thought of all the times James protected Remus and his whereabouts. She thought about all the times Remus defended James to Lily when she'd nit-picked James' immaturity. James watched Lily come to terms with the news from Sirius' bed, eyes cautious.

"You're taking this rather well." James said, breaking through the silence, "When Sirius and I found out about Remus the first thing we did was research werewolves for weeks in the library."

Lily sent James a mystified look "Is it strange that I feel like I've known forever?"

"Not strange at all considering who you used to be friends with." James answered sourly.

Lily yanked her head up, her red hair falling into her face, "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

James shrugged, "Severus Snape isn't exactly trustworthy."

"Do you even _remember_ when I was friends with Severus Snape?"

"Unfortunately." He muttered resentfully, "Snape liked to rub it in that you hated me more than anything on earth."

Lily rose to her tiptoes awkwardly, "I didn't hate you more than anything on earth," she protested, "In fact, I don't think I've ever _hated_ you."

"He'd be crushed to hear that." James' eyes shot back to her and he stood up and off Sirius' bed.

"You've always had this thing with Snape." Lily tilted her head, "Why?"

"He's always had this thing with me." James' hazel eyes shifted, "And you."

Lily knew that James was right. Severus Snape had always tried to tell Lily about James sneaking out after curfew. He followed James and Sirius around all the time and got them into so much trouble. In contrast, James spent most of his fifth year dueling Snape in the hallways. The boys had only stopped fighting when Lily had distanced herself from Snape and became friends with James.

"Why does Snape hate you so much?"

"Sirius thinks it's because I L—" James ruffled his hair as he took a step towards her again, "because of my feelings for you."

"And do you think that's true?"

"Why are you bringing this up?" James snapped roguishly, always short when Snape was brought into the conversation, "Snape hates me and was absolutely rotten to you..."

Lily nodded, "He's all those things and more but James he had a _lot_ of theories about you and your _marauders_."

"Well he's an arse." James said flatly, "Why would you listen to anything he has to say?"

"I don't." Lily said hotly.

James suddenly closed the space between them very fast, his hand grasping hers, "Wait, did Snape say _anything_ to you? Because I swear to Merlin I'll rip him to shreds before Remus can even—"

"Snape really knows?!" Lily's mouth dropped open.

"He wasn't supposed to say _anything_." James' face was bright red and his voice was quivering, "What the Hell Lily, why were you talking to him?"

"I didn't talk to him!" she defended herself, "I haven't spoken directly to Snape in _years_. He just came over with Avery this morning."

James huffed in disbelief, "Snape didn't tell you anything?"

Lily huffed, "Snape's _always_ had these stupid harebrained theories that you and your mates were up to something—I just never really cared until I started dating you."

James tilted his head, "What stupid harebrained ideas?"

Lily raised her eyebrows; "He had a lot of theories."

"Impressive for a such a git." James snarled, running his fingers through his hair irately, "I mean, I knew Snivellus was a sneaky bastard but he only found out about Remus because of Sirius."

"Sirius told him?" Lily was surprised at that, not seeing Sirius as a gossip when it came to his mates.

James took both her hands and pulled her closer, "A few years ago Snape got into a bit of a tight spot and it was kind of my fault because I encouraged Sirius…" James looked like he was trying to find the right words, "I, er, got mad at Snape and encouraged Sirius to do something about it that almost got Snape killed."

Lily was confused, "Wait, Sirius tried to kill Snape?"

James jogged her memory, "Snape found out Remus was a werewolf because he watched Remus transform."

Lily took another deep breath as she remembered, "A few years ago you had to save Snape from the restricted area under the willow tree on the grounds."

James looked instantly embarrassed, "I didn't save Snape."

Lily frowned, "Snape's known about Remus for that long and didn't say anything?"

"Dumbledore told him he'd be expelled if he tried." James said flatly, "And all of us got detention for two months."

"Unbelievable." Then another thought crossed her mind, "How did Snape know where to find Remus?"

"You know he was always obsessed with us." James spat with disgust; "Sirius told him where to go and I barely got Snape out of there before he turned—or worse—was killed."

"You _did_ save him." Lily gulped, "You saved Snape even though you hate him?"

"I don't hate Snape." James retorted steadfastly, "I hate how Snape treats the people I care about." One of his fingers traced Lily's jaw and she leaned into his touch lovingly, "Like you."

"Does anyone else know about Remus?" she asked.

"No, and I'm going to have to tell the boys you finally guessed right." James looked unhappy at the thought, "That'll be fun. Wormtail is going to shite himself."

"Why do I have a feeling you're talking about Peter?"

"Yeah." James smiled softly, "I'm really sorry about him. It's just that we've kept Remus a secret for seven years and we've gone through this before when Snape got past the willow and saw Remus transform so he's a bit apprehensive to trust anyone else."

"Remus transforms under the willow?" Lily's eyes widened, "Is that where Remus is now?"

James shook his head with a small smile, "Nah," he said, "Remus is in the Hospital Wing, Madame Promfrey brings him there after every transformation."

"Why hasn't he told anyone?"

James shrugged, "Remus and Dumbledore both agreed it'd be better that not many people know."

"Do the teachers know?" Lily asked.

"I'd expect so." James replied, "Remus says they do."

"So the only students who know are—"

"Me, Sirius, Peter, Snape," he smiled, "And now you."

Lily took another deep breath, "I'm sorry Snape knows...I know it must've been hard for you to help him."

James looked instantly embarrassed, "I didn't help him."

Lily frowned, "That's not how the rumors described it."

"I didn't save Snape from the willow." James disclosed, "I saved _Sirius_ from expulsion since he's the one who tipped Snape off that Remus doesn't go to the Hospital Wing when he transforms…he goes to the willow."

"Is Remus the only werewolf?" Lily asked.

"That we know of." James winked, "But I'm not ruling out old Pigeon as a vampire."

"Vampires and werewolves." Lily snorted, "My boyfriend's best friend is a werewolf and my teacher is a vampire."

"Hogwarts wouldn't be Hogwarts without something extraordinary going on." James snickered, "Professor Dumbledore let Remus into Hogwarts to prove to the Ministry that not all werewolves are perilous, especially kids like Remus."

She rolled her eyes, "If the idiots we go to school with hate muggleborns like me—imagine what they think of a werewolf, even one as kindhearted as Remus."

When she looked back up at James he was smirking his adorable half smirk. His cheeks were rosy and his fingers were brushing along her cheeks admiringly.

"What are you looking at me like that fo—"

"Nothing." His eyes were cunning and she didn't trust him.

Lily swallowed thickly, "Nothing looks like a whole lot of something."

James took a calculating step forward, arching one eyebrow, "Fancy being late to class?"

Lily held a finger up, "One more question, how you run around with a werewolf once a month?"

James shook his head, "That is something that definitely can be discussed when we aren't in my dorm room."

"Why can't we talk about it now?" Lily asked.

James grinned, "Well, that has a bit of a peculiar story that you might need a few drinks in you to understand first."

"What could be bigger than Remus being a werewolf?"

James licked his lips and whistled, "Oh, you'd be surprised…"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lily marveled, wondering what other secrets he could be keeping.

"I'll tell you more about how I run around with a werewolf as soon as I tell Peter he can stop worrying about you bragging to all of Gryffindor tower that you know a werewolf." At Lily's confused face James explained further, "I lied to you when I told you that Peter was worried you'd be inducted as another marauder."

"I figured." Lily admitted with a shrug.

James said, "Peter was only concerned that once you found out about Remus—if you found out—that Remus' secret wouldn't be a secret anymore."

"Wow." Lily said grumpily, "Glad he has so much faith in me as a decent human being."

James grabbed her hand when she pulled back, "Peter's just—"

"A horrible judge of character?"

"A worrywart." James countered, "And Remus has voiced high praise for you numerous times during this argument but Sirius wanted to wait and see how committed we were as a couple before I told you anything..."

"So you boys have been arguing about me." Lily replied flatly.

"You," James said, "are not the _only_ reason I argue with my mates."

"But recently?"

James admitted, "Recently you have come into the conversation a lot but they only just started seriously considering telling you the truth."

James' eyes glanced down and Lily touched his chin so his warm hazel eyes would glance over her once more. She knew why the other boy had changed their minds. Sirius had told the other boys about her patronus charm. James was the only one who didn't know their patronus' matched. Lily had to tell him.

"Of course I've wanted to tell you for weeks." He leaned in and pressed a sweet kiss against her nose, "I've wanted to tell you everything."

"You kept Remus' secret for him," she placed hand on his chest, "I don't care, I get it. Remus is really lucky to have you as a friend."

He smiled, "I have to admit I am a little disappointed it took you so long if Snape's been hinting at it for years."

"I mean, does it really matter if he's a werewolf?" she asked, "After all, Remus is one of the nicest people I know…I'm sure there are loads of werewolves like him."

James brushed his lips against hers again and then pulled back so he could nuzzle her.

"So why we're telling secrets, when were you going to tell me about your patronus?"

Lily froze, "What?"

"Sirius spoke to Ingrid." James said, "You couldn't tell me your patronus was a horse?"

"What?" Lily repeated dumbly.

"Ingrid told Sirius you thought your patronus was a horse." James pressed his forehead into hers, "Why did you lie to me and say you couldn't see it?"

"I—I didn't—" Lily stuttered.

"Yeah," James snorted, "Alright, talk Evans. You know about Remus. I've told you all I can until I talk to the other boys…what else is going on with you?"

Lily sucked in a deep breath. This was it. She was going to tell him.

"Did Sirius say anything else about the boggart incident?"

James shook his head, "No, why?"

She let her fingers wrap into his robe, "James when I saw the dementor the only memory in my mind that could produce a corporeal patronus was a memory of _you_."

James' eyes froze on hers, "I was your happy memory?"

Lily's heartbeat frantically under his stare, "Yes."

James leaned down to her expectantly, "And you were mine…all those weeks ago I took one glace at you and that's when I got the charm to work…because I'm my happiest when I'm with you."

She could feel the fire between them as his fingers grazed her cheeks; it had started as a spark and now was burning higher than the bonfire they'd first kissed under. She leaned up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips against his as her stomach flipped. She was kissing him without holding back, eager to let some of her nerves drain away. James pulled away after a few moments, eyeing her like she was going to disappear any second.

Lily relaxed her fingers on his shirt and tilted her head at him.

How, after seven years, had she not seen James Potter as anything other than perfect?

He was doting, kind, loyal, and above all, in love with her.

She was kicking herself that she'd acted around her feelings for so long. She detested herself for a bogus dementor being the only thing to wake her brain up and send her mind into shock. She couldn't believe that the dorky boy who used to sing love ode's to her jokingly in History of Magic was her soulmate. It had taken so many things to make Lily accept that she was in love with the boy standing before her but she knew that she loved him.

"I'm in love you."

"Yeah?" he said uncertainly and she couldn't resist the small giggle at his utter disbelief.

"I love you James Potter." She established, "I'm sorry I've been an total idiot the past few months because I was being so painfully oblivious. I think I've loved you for a while. I just was scared of being in love because it sound so—but who wouldn't fall in love with you? You stay up late to help your best friend who is a _werewolf_. You protect the younger students from bullies even though you were literally one of the biggest jerks when you were fifteen. You're a quidditch champion who kicks arse on the field and you are so, _so_ thoughtful." She was emotional as he kept trying to cut her off with a kiss, "James Potter I'm certain, _so certain_ , that I love you."

James looked rather euphoric and pressed his lips back into hers multiple times.

"Wait, I'm not done talking." She moaned into his mouth.

"I love you too." he stopped kissing her, his hand tracing her cheek, "I love the way you are so stubborn about everything, that it drives me to drink. I love the way you think of others before yourself and I love the way you bring order to disorder. I love the way you stand up for what you believe in. I can't remember a time when I _didn't_ love you."

Then his lips were on hers and her eyes closed upon the impact. His teeth were ruthless, biting with each pass of the tongue. Their noses were knocking but she was so wrapped up in James' embrace that she didn't care. When James pulled away to drag his mouth to her neck, biting and licking his way up and down the expanse of skin, Lily was certain she never wanted to leave the dorm again. Goosbumps rose on Lily's skin as James pushed her against one of the bedposts on his four-poster. She was on her tiptoes and her ankles were tiring fast but she didn't pull away because his lips were busy eliciting moans from her throat.

"James." Lily advised, as his fingers wrapped in her hair lustfully to tilt her head back more, "I really think you'll want to hear one more thing before snogging me senseless—"

"Doubtful." James' lips were indulgent against her neck, "We can talk much," another lick, " _much_ ," another bite, " _later_."

"No," she complained, pushing lightly at his shoulders, "James _please_ …" he wasn't relenting with his mouth and her knees were growing weaker, " _the boggart attack_." She articulated, " _my patronus_."

"We already covered this." James pulled his lips away from her neck and glared at her, "It's a horse."

Lily grabbed his cheeks to force him to stare her in the eyes, "James it wasn't a horse. That's where I _lied_."

James tilted his head and like a cute puppy, his hair flopped into his eyes, and "What was it?"

"It wasn't hard to miss." Lily laughed softly at his expression.

"A cat?" James recalled her saying once in the Library that she'd want a cat as her corporeal patronus.

Lily chewed on her lip, finding his bewilderment utterly charming, "It was actually rather large, _definitely_ not a cat."

She could see the wheels in his head turning and she gave him a encouraging smile. It was like a light bulb gone off and his face lit up in astonishment. He grabbed both her cheeks, hazel eyes sparkling like it was Christmas morning. Lily thought she'd like to see that look on his face for the rest of her life: utterly, blissfully, _happy_.

"Say it." He ordered as she bit back a laugh.

"I made Sirius promise not to tell you until I'd done more research and—" he cut her off sharply with a rough and quick kiss, tugging at her lower lip relentlessly.

"Go on Evans." He hissed, so close yet too far from her mouth, "Say it."

"James my patronus is a doe— _oomph_."

He was kissing her, smothering her with his spirits, " _What kind of—_ " he breathed against her lips, " _game were you playing, keeping that from me!_ "

She tried pushing him away, "James!"

"What?" he pulled away, looking ready to never let her out of his arms again, he was way past talking, "Soulmates, Lily. We're fucking _soulmates_."

His lips crashed back against hers and there was no reason to push his lips away because her lips were too busy pulling him in. In the back of Lily's mind she was vaguely aware of the other boys being able to walk in on them but she didn't really care. She was in love and she wasn't afraid of it, in fact, she was certain she was excited.

He was pressing his hips into hers and her back dug into the four-poster as they continued tearing into each other. Lily knew that his hands, so eager against the buttons of her robes, weren't going to slow down anytime soon. Soon her robes slipped off her shoulders for James to find more bare skin to lavish. Lily laughed when he bit her shoulder playfully and she ran her fingers through his hair.

"We're going to miss class," she pulled his face back up to hers so she could press a kiss against his lips.

"I can't believe this." He murmured against her, "I can't _believe_ you tried to do more research. I mean what kind of _nerd_ tries to research true fucking _love_?"

"You said you and Sirius research werewolves for months." She admitted, "I was just finding out mo-" she lost the sentence in James' mouth.

James hands maneuvered her face so he could literally kiss her until she couldn't breathe and was gasping against his unrelenting mouth. Lily's fingers reached to unbutton his shirt, gathering the fabric with her fists and pulling it off so her own hands could explore his skin freely. His chest was warm against her palms and she wished he were pressed more firmly against her.

"Researching more about your werewolf roommate is way different than researching if you're really in love with you dashing boyfriend." He teased when her own lips started exploring his jaw, eager to distract her.

Lily pulled away from kissing his jaw to raise a brow at him, "I was half expecting a proposal to be honest, this is a little underwhelm- _fuck_." Lily tried to tease back but her will was lost when he purposely pushed up against her in a way that made her arms grip around his shoulders and her body to shudder involuntarily.

He pressed his forehead against hers and his fingers traced her stomach, "You were saying?"

Lily marveled at how one person could love her so much, "Well," she replied as she hooked one leg around his waist to watch his eyes go hazy, "You know me, I have to be absolutely certain about _every_ ," Lily dipped her hips and James' eyes closed against her strategic movements, " _little_ _thing_ before diving in."

James whispered faintly, "Are you absolutely certain then?"

Lily pressed her lips to his lightly before pulling back and whispering, "Textbook definition soulmates, certain."

He pressed his lips against hers quickly before pulling back to say frankly, "Can I show you how certain I am about my feelings?"

And those words, those utterly idealistic words, are what made her follow his insistent stare as he pulled them onto his mattress. Lily tumbled on top of James as he continued kissing her until both of them were gasping deeply and powerless to say more than a few words. Classes, homework, and werewolves were all forgotten as their hormones took over.

Lily had no intention of stopping now that his body was assertive against hers in a way that made her gratified sighs become fixed in her throat more than once. As his hands explored the expanse of her chest, her own fingers were making steady progress with his slacks. She only stopped kissing every inch of him her mouth could reach in order to push his slacks off and that's when James seemed to comprehend something. He sat up, blinking owlishly behind his glasses as Lily straddled him enthusiastically.

"Have you done this before?" she asked as she ran her fingers down his chest, revealing at all his bare skin (hers and only hers) for the taking.

James' eyes flashed firmly, "You're the only one I've ever wanted to do this with."

Lily pushed her fingers into his waist, "Are you sure you want to?"

James leaned forward with a wicked smirk; "You do realize I won't ever want to let you leave this bed after that confession?"

Her heart was full, "One can only hope."

He half laughed, half moaned as he pulled her face back to his and she smiled against his mouth. Her own hands became wrapped in the soft strands of his black hair, pulling at his hair as he kissed her senseless. The rest of their clothes became forgotten on the dorm floor as Lily made her way through the motions of loving James Potter so fully that she felt as if they were the only two people in the world.

Lily felt as if it were her first time and their kisses had become sloppy. Lily could've cared less about the kissing, as every touch from James was just enough to knock her off her pedestal and then bring her up high again. She was struggling to satisfy James since he was so in-tuned to pleasing her but it was impossible, he was keeping her at bay with every perfect trace of his fingers against her sensitive skin. It was like he was memorizing every part of her. It made it seem like she was going to fall apart every time he moved against her.

When they were too tired to go on and Lily was certain she'd kissed every inch of James possible, she happily stayed in his arms under his covers. She kept her head pressed into his chest, their legs tangled together. James kissed her everywhere he could reach as she buried herself farther into his embrace.

"This is all I'm going to be able to think about at Quidditch practice."

Lily couldn't resist pulling her chin up to smirk at him, "You seem quite smug."

James winked, "Shouldn't I be?" he ran his fingers down her back, "I didn't know you could be so _loud_."

Lily hummed playfully, "You weren't so quiet yourself."

"Yeah, yeah, Evans…don't be smug."

"Oh," she stuck out her tongue, "Pot calling the kettle black."

James closed his eyes, "I'm not smug. I'm a little past euphoric right now."

Lily leaned her head into his chest again, "I love you."

James yawned, "But really, I don't think I ever want to leave this room." he pulled her in closer, "Let's just take a nice long nap."

Lily winced, "How dramatic do you think Sirius will be if he finds us here?"

"Well, seeing as my mates love bets, I'm certain someone is going to lose a lot of money when one of them eventually walks in on us since I'm never leaving this bed."

Lily grinned, "You think they were betting about when we'd finally shag?"

James nodded firmly, "I'm sure they have a bet something along those lines ever since you agreed to go on a date with me."

Lily smiled as she reminisced the date bet that Sirius had lost; "Sirius was so mad and said that I ' _caved_ _in'_ because you snogged me into submission in the library."

"I didn't snog you into a date." he leaned forward playfully, sunlight from the window hitting his eyes and lighting them on fire, "but I'll take the compliment for my snogging abilities."

"Honestly?" Lily said after he's kissed the top of her head, "You're mouth does have quite the influence on me."

" _Oh does it?_ "

James deviously turned them so he was laying over her again and she laughed before he leaned down to kiss her senseless again.

James was absolutely crazy and he was Lily's soulmate and Lily knew she loved him.

* * *

 **Next Time:**

James said delicately, "We'd better get all our secrets off the shelf if we're soulmates."

"Do you think if you keep saying soulmates it'll get less cheesy?" Lily teased with pursed lips as she tried to keep her face straight.

James mockingly hooted, "Shut up, Evans, and let me relish in the fact that we're soulmates."

She hummed, placated as his lips got closer to hers, "I hope my patronus changes tomorrow."

"You don't mean that." James said confidently and then he closed the rest of the space between them.


	14. Howl

14

 _Be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers_

 _Starts so soft and sweet and turns them to hunters_

 _A man who's pure of heart and says his prayers by night_

 _May still become an animal when the autumn moon is bright_

She hadn't slept so well in ages. Lily took a deep breath as she remembered the reason she felt so warm and safe was because of whose arms she was wrapped up in. Lily nuzzled deeper into James' chest and surmised that a few months ago, she'd been an _idiot_ for not wanting to be his girlfriend. She was happiest when she was with him and that was a fact she could no longer ignore. She was her strongest when he was cheering her on, either at her side or from afar.

As far as Lily was concerned, she fit to James like pieces to a puzzle. He was breathing softly below her touch, obviously still asleep. Lily was half asleep, her brain slowly waking from its stupor in James' arms.

"What the fuck?" a voice announced, "you two couldn't keep your clothes on long enough to get through _classes_?"

Below Lily, James moaned and his body shifted under her slightly. Lily recognized the voice but she refused to move, try to remember the quiet still moment she'd been enjoying before Sirius Black waltzed in. Lily kept her eyes closed as she slipped off James' chest into the mattress and let out a little huff as her face hit James' pillow. She could imagine the awkward look on James' face and she didn't need to open her eyes to see the tickled expression on Sirius' face.

"We must've fallen asleep." James' hand reached to her waist, gripping her skin friskily under the sheets.

"I absolutely cannot believe _you_ , the Head Boy and Girl, skipped class to have sex." Lily dared to open one eye and over James' broad shoulders she saw Sirius standing in the middle of the dorm looking smugger than she'd ever seen him, "I am so proud of you both."

Before Lily or James could say anything Sirius jumped from his spot in the middle of the dorm room and landed directly on top of Lily and James in bed. Lily called out when she got elbowed in the ribs and James bellowed Sirius' name as Sirius fell in-between them, throwing his hands back behind his head as Lily drug the covers up and over her chest with a hearty scowl. The mattress sank in and Lily felt herself caving towards the unwelcome body in the bed.

"How was he?" Sirius asked Lily and James aimed a kick at his best mate, "Probably really quick, eh?"

Lily stifled a laugh into her hand and leaned away from Sirius as James pushed at Sirius dramatically.

"You mutt! Gerr'off my bed!"

"This is the best day ever." Sirius continued to ignore James' prodding.

"Did you win your bet?" Lily asked through her fingers.

Sirius laughed, throwing a wink at her, "I said he'd shag you three weeks ago actually."

"This is out of bounds Sirius." James grumbled, reaching for his glasses on his bedside table.

"You were the amateurs having sex in a unlocked dorm room." Sirius argued effectively, "Besides Lily doesn't mind...do you Lily?"

"You're insane." Lily mumbled.

"Thank you." Sirius blew her a kiss, "Runs in the family."

James made progress by rolling over Sirius, effectively coming between Lily and his best friend. Lily wrapped her arm around James' waist to keep Sirius from coming between them again. Sirius looked ready to challenge their efforts when the door to the dorm opened again and Remus walked through with Peter at his side. The two boys stopped dead in the their tracks, letting the door slam behind him.

"Well this is new."

Remus' eyes traced the three forms piled in James' bed, Sirius fully dressed with Lily and James clearly not. Lily wished she'd had the thought to get dressed before she passed out in James' arms but somehow she knew that wouldn't have made the situation any less awkward. Sirius looked rather like Christmas had come early.

"You won the bet Remus!" Sirius announced from their threesome, "Evans shagged him _before_ Christmas break!"

Remus, who had appeared startled, regained his cool and dropped a bag to the door lazily before saying smoothly, "You owe me that new watch Padfoot."

James sat up in shock, almost knocking Lily aside, "You _were_ betting!"

"Of course we were betting." Sirius said with a roll of his eyes.

Remus nodded "And I won. I _knew_ she wouldn't be able to keep her bloody hands off you when I heard about her patronus."

"Hey Remus." James said to his other mate casually, "Maybe next time pass that information on?"

"I heard it from Sirius," Remus shrugged, "Who in turn heard it from Lily. Who told him to keep it to himself."

"You weren't told anything about keeping it to yourself." James countered.

"I like to keep secrets." Remus grinned a wolfish smile.

"Don't I know it." James snorted.

"Ha ha." Remus mimicked cynically before his eyes fell on Lily and a kind smile reappeared, "You seem alright."

Her lips curved against James' skin, "Quite alright."

Lily wasn't embarrassed that his mates had found them still lounging in bed after classes were over. Lily knew that in the months to come, it would probably happen again. Lily focused on Peter's reaction, which was a mixture between surprise and disillusionment. Lily boosted herself up on her elbow, keeping James between her and the boys. Peter closed the door behind so no passerby could look inside and see the Head Boy and Girl breaking about ten different school rules.

James spoke after a pause, "So Lily and I spoke—"

"Before or after you jumped each other?" Sirius inquired.

"Both." Lily replied smoothly, earning a smirk from Sirius.

"She _knows_." Peter accused suddenly, ripping his eyes away from Lily instantly to Remus, "She knows your secret."

"Well obviously." James said with a roll of his eyes.

Lily spoke up quickly to diffuse the tension in the room that settled, "It wasn't that hard to figure out."

Peter opened his mouth to speak but Sirius spoke before Peter could say anything he'd regret, "Peter take a chill potion."

"No one else is concerned—"

"Can we discuss this _after_ I've gotten dressed?" Lily asked, earning looks from her boyfriend's friends, as if they'd just realized she was starkers under the blankets.

"Go ahead." Sirius opened his arms out with invitation, leaning over the bedside and flinging her bra in her direction from the floor, "We're all equals here."

Lily chewed on her bottom lip as she caught her bra in her fingers and kept her body lowered behind James. All the boys were still watching her, James included, until Lily cleared her throat. James woke up and flushed greatly, squaring his shoulders.

"If you blokes wouldn't mind turning a back," James said, pushing Sirius off the bed and onto the floor suddenly so Sirius landed with a loud thump, "My soulmate here can get dressed without your prying eyes."

"Soulmates." Sirius called from the floor, "So you _did_ tell him."

"You seem surprised." Lily replied sweetly as she turned her back and hooked her bra, "Lose another bet?"

"Nah," Sirius' smug tone was hard to miss, "I was hoping you'd tell him before I broke down and admitted it."

"You weren't going to keep it a secret?" Lily remarked as James searched for all their missing clothes.

"I don't keep secrets from James." Sirius said, "Now hurry and get completely dressed before James gets any other ideas."

James helped Lily quickly find all the quickly discarded clothes. Once her hair was haphazardly thrown into a bun and her clothes were all appropriately buttoned, Lily remained cross-legged on James' sheets. The other boys had willingly turned their backs but it was Sirius who turned first, without a care in the world, and came to sit next to her on the bed. Sirius' cool grey eyes watched the same as Lily while James pulled his quidditch robes over his head in haste, eager it seemed to get the conversation moving. Peter turned next, arms crossed, followed by Remus who took a seat on the ground, as if standing tired him.

That was the moment Lily was looking for because she enquired of Remus civilly, "So Remus, how are you feeling?"

Everyone in the dorm room moaned except for James who broke into a smile as he readjusted his glasses.

"I told you guys she asked that a lot." James said as he walked over to sit on Lily's other side effectively squishing her into Sirius' shoulder.

"I'm _fine_ Lily." Remus told her from his spot on the floor.

Lily furrowed a brow, "I don't care that you lot hate me for being concerned."

"I'm happy you care," Remus offered, "Just please stop looking at me like I'm dying."

"I just want you to know I won't tell anyone." Lily told Remus quickly, "It's _your_ secret and James was right to keep it from me."

"You deserved to know." Remus said decisively, "I've known you just as long as Peter, James, and Sirius. I've always just been nervous telling people that I turn into a—I mean I didn't even tell the boys—they figured it out on their own too."

"We had to trick the truth out of him." James told Lily with a reminiscent smile, "Remus didn't speak to us for weeks when he first learned we knew."

"I was embarrassed!" Remus sounded exhausted, like he'd had this argument a lot.

"We knew Peter wet the bet and we still stayed friends with him." Sirius said from Lily's left and Peter shot Sirius the bird in retaliation.

"I wish there was a cure." She offered kindly to Remus, ignoring Peter and Sirius' squabble.

"It _is_ rather unfortunate." Remus mumbled, staring at the messy floor.

"Dad's been working on a potion for years," James told Lily, "We just haven't found any combination of herbs that helps Remus when he transforms yet."

"Your parents know?" Lily asked James, amazed.

James bowed his head, "Mum and Dad Potter know everything about my life. Remus, Sirius, Peter, and you."

"Wait until you tell Mum about Lily being your soulmate." Sirius leaned in to whisper in Lily's ear, "She'll be pulling out the engagement ring the second she meets you."

Lily pulled herself away from Sirius and snuck a shy glance at James, realizing just what being soulmates meant to others outside of their relationship. She wasn't scared of the thought that everyone would fix them as forever, it scared her to think that one day…there wouldn't be forever. The truth was, she wanted them to work. She wanted everything James was offering her with his shy smiles and sweet kisses.

"Are you and James really soulmates?" Peter asked Lily warily from near Remus.

Lily saw a disbelieving smile on Peter's face, "It _is_ rather unfortunate." She repeated Remus' words and she was rewarded with a laugh from the shortest marauder.

Lily would take it.

"You know what's rather unfortunate?" Sirius asked.

"What?" Lily asked Sirius, sending him a little sneer.

"That you haven't asked us how we run round with a werewolf once a month..."

"Oh Merlin." Peter sighed, sharing a look with a bemused Remus on the floor, "Now he wants to show off."

"Did you expect anything less from him?" Remus asked weakly.

"Show off?" Lily was becoming more and more perplexed.

"Use that pretty brain," James grinned from beside her, "What did you ask me right after you found out about Remus?"

Lily asked uncertainly, "How you hung out with him without turning into a wolf yourself?"

" _Ding_ _ding_ we have a winner." Peter said with a cocked eyebrow.

Lily turned her eyes on Peter, "I won't tell anyone if that's what your worried about."

Peter crossed his arms "You were friends with Snape." He said, "The only person in this school who could literally ruin our lives. Forgive me for being carful."

" _Were_ being the important word there." Lily said hotly, James placed a hand on her shoulder to warn her not to get snappy, "We haven't been friends since fifth year."

"We can trust her Wormtail." Sirius spoke up in favor of Lily.

"How do we know?" Peter half shouted at the boys and startled Lily, "She's bloody _Head Girl_!"

James slung an arm around Lily, "And I'm Head Boy." James said tightly, "It's just a title Pete."

Peter turned his chin away from the trio on the bed, seemingly offended.

"Listen," Lily said to Peter gently, "I don't want to come between you and your mates but I'm a little hurt you have such a low opinion of me."

Peter eyed her seriously, "You haven't always been supportive of James."

"People change." Lily said, wrapping her arm around James to show her solidarity, "I've certainly changed."

Peter sidestepped awkwardly, "People don't change."

"Lily's right Wormy." James said kindly to his mate, "People change but I hope you know that what we have, that's never gonna change." Peter looked at James, blue eyes watery, "We're always going to be the marauders."

Lily smiled, "yeah," she joked, "You guys can keep your silly nicknames."

Peter smiled, "They're not silly." He argued weakly, "They're our identifies."

Lily exhaled, "What, are you lot super heroes now?"

"Evans," Sirius said earnestly, "This stuff is serious. No jokes."

"Uh-huh." Lily said doubtfully, glancing at James, "What's going on James?"

"We'd better get all our secrets off the shelf if we're soulmates."

"Do you think if you keep saying soulmates it'll get less cheesy?" Lily teased with pursed lips as she tried to keep her face straight.

James mockingly nudged his nose against hers, "Shut up Evans and let me relish in the fact that we're soulmates.  
She hummed, placated as his lips got closer to hers, "I hope my patronus changes tomorrow."

"You don't mean that." James said confidently before closing the space in-between them.

"Oh Merlin," Sirius beside Lily ardently, "We're going to be sick of you two by tomorrow, aren't we?"

Lily and James broke apart, smiling at each other. James raised an amused brow at Lily and she pursed her lips into a smile. Her fingers adjusted his glasses lovingly, stuck on the sparkle in his hazel eyes.

Peter rolled his eyes and grunted, "I still think we should wait until they're at least married to say anything."

"I'll marry her one day." James said sincerely and she flushed, knowing he was entirely serious and she didn't mind.

"I've started writing my best man speech." Sirius offered.

"Calm down Sirius." Remus said with a laugh, "We're seventeen."

"And we're in love." Lily said, glancing at James happily, "Imagine that."

"Yeah, and what we're about to tell you will officially lock me up in Azkaban." Peter said as he sat on the edge of his bed.

"Always a killjoy." James turned his head to glare at Peter.

"One day you're gonna like me Peter," Lily predicted happily.

"He already does like you." Remus offered, "He just likes to act rough around the edges."

"Sour at first," Sirius agreed of Peter's behavior, "Then sweet."

"We should get him and Mary together." James predicted, "Since they're both not fans of us shagging, they can shag each other."

Lily shrugged, "Mary's spoken for."

"Shame." Sirius sighed, "Seeing as Wormy's the only virgin left in this room."

Peter flipped Sirius the bird again, "I'll kill you."

"Empty threats." Sirius replied arrogantly.

Lily changed the subject, something Peter seemed greatful for, "So how did you guys run around with Remus?" she asked, "I mean, I don't know much about werewolves but I'm assuming Remus doesn't want to braid flower crowns into your hair on full moons."

"Shame, I'd look great in a flower crown." Sirius whispered tragically and Remus glared at Remus.

"Think of McGonagall, Lily." James egged Lily on helpfully, wrapping an arm around her waist.

"What?" Lily had no idea why James would want her to think of their stern Transfiguration professor.

"Forget guessing." Sirius pushed himself off the mattress, knocking shoulders with Lily, "I've been keeping this for so long it'll be fun to know someone other than these three idiots knows how fucking _amazing_ I am."

Lily wondered what the hell Sirius was bragging about until he started shrinking before her very eyes. Hair sprouted from his face and arms as he got on all fours and one shake of his body later was sniffing the air with his snout. It was the maddest thing she'd ever seen—very similar to when she watched their Transfiguration teacher magic herself into a cat at will when she was eleven. The dog barked and launched at Lily, placing two large paws on her hips, pushing her to the mattress as the boys in the room laughed at her expression.

"Oh my god! _Animagus!_ " she gulped as she tried to push the dog kissing her cheek off, " _Oh my god!_ " she turned to James, "And you?!"

"Did you wonder why your patronus is a doe?" her boyfriend grinned and Lily watched as he too jumped off the bed to stand off to the side of the dorm.

Lily shook her head in skepticism, "Not you too—" but then suddenly James' black hair was growing at an alarming rate. Antlers sprouted from his head, the prines reaching for the ceiling. His tan skin turned to tan fur that covered his whole body until a full grown stag was standing in the middle of the Gryffindor dorm room. The dog bounced off Lily to jump at the deer. Lily watched in wonder as the deer bumped noses with the dog before looking at Lily with large hazel eyes, tilting its head as she stared on in amazement.

"You're all Animagus." Lily placed a hand on her forehead, flabbergasted.

Professor McGonagall had covered the subject in fifth year. An Animagus is a witch or wizard with the rare ability to transform into a particular animal at will, Professor McGonagall being one of the few witches accomplished in the magic. Lily had only seen the magic when Professor McGonagall did it and never assumed anyone else at Hogwarts could do the complex magic—until now.

"The Animagus spell is very difficult and dangerous to perform, which is one reason that all Animagi are required to be registered by the Ministry of Magic." Peter said, walking forwards from behind Remus, "If anyone found out we'd all be served to Azkaban."

Lily sat up to stare at Peter, "What's yours?"

Peter shrugged and suddenly a rat was standing on its hind legs, waving at her.

"They spent _weeks_ in fourth year figuring out how to be animagi." Remus told Lily from beside the waving rat, "It's our biggest secret because they're unregistered." Remus smiled, "They sneak out to meet me in Hogsmede every full moon in these animals forms and I can't hurt them."

"So you can bite them and they won't turn?" Lily stood up off the bed to walk closer to the stag, which lowered its antlers at her playfully.

"Yes, it's totally safe." Remus smiled, "and they keep me sane as a wolf."

Lily turned and reached out to touch the stag's forehead.

"This is _amazing_."

Lily reached out to rub the stag's forehead, James— _it_ —the _stag_ —closed its eyes. Lily thought she saw little markings around them that could've been James' glasses. Lily had always known the four boys were smart and creative but becoming animagi to help their friend? She was seeing all of them in a whole new light. Lily understood why Peter was so nervous for her to know. Lily bit her lip and looked around at the werewolf, rat, stag, and dog.

They'd trusted her with a timeless secret and she couldn't believe it.

"Thank you." She whispered, her hands clasped to her heart, "You're all unbelievable."

Sirius morphed back into his human form as Lily ran her hands over the rest of James' stag form in awe. Her fingers were brushing the antlers observationally when Sirius placed a hand on her shoulder to capture her attention from her boyfriend. Lily turned in question and was surprised to see that the boy who had just been a loyal dog looked nothing but guilty.

"I wanted to tell you something."

"What?" Lily let her hand fall from the stag's antlers.

Sirius leaned against the bed and looked at her with tortured eyes, "Well, if you know about the willow—"

Lily tilted her head, "The willow— _oh_ —you mean when Snape followed Remus into the willow."

Sirius head dropped and his looked so sad, "Yeah, that." His voice shook and something inside of Lily made her reach out for Sirius.

"Hey." Lily said firmly and his grey eyes shot up to stare at her, "We all make mistakes," Lily said, "What matters is that you feel awful for it."

"Oh Evans," Sirius said with warning, "You greatly underestimate me. I don't regret telling Snape to go down into the willow. If anything—that made him shut up. He was spreading rumors about Remus—I know he tried telling you things."

Lily leaned her palm against the stag's side, "You don't even regret it a little bit?"

"I regret hurting Remus." Sirius said, glancing back at his friend on the floor, "but Snape was always trying to get us exspelled. I might not have had to do something to get him almost killed but I did have to do something."

"Snape always was out to get you." Lily crossed her arms over her body, "I always wondered why."

"You had a lot to do with it," Sirius said astutely, "Snape was trying to prove how fucked up we were because he hated the way you looked at James."

Lily furrowed her brow as the stag lowered his head closer to Lily's waist, "The way I looked at James?"

Sirius arched an eyebrow at her knowingly, "You thought James was fit when we were fifteen, don't try and deny it."

"James was an _arse_ at fifteen." The stag sorted and pawed at the floor.

"Yeah but he was a _fit_ arse." Sirius goaded, "One that you looked at enough in passing to make Snape jealous."

Lily rolled her eyes, "He was always showing off with that stupid snitch and he had a dumb laugh whenever he pranked one of you and and he loved bragging about his broomstick and I never once thought he—I mean he _was_ cute—but I didn't—"

Lily stared at Sirius, realizing that James' best mate had noticed more than anyone else at Hogwarts. She'd always thought James was clever and smart and a good quidditch player. When had she actually started noticing how kind he was? How good a friend he was? When had she fallen for him? She couldn't remember a pinpoint on their relationship timeline, all she knew was Sirius was somehow telling the truth. She'd always been looking after James, she'd always noticed him.

"You acted like you hated him," Sirius winked, "But you didn't."

"I guess I didn't."

Suddenly James was back in his human form and his embrace encircled her waist as he nuzzled her neck lightheartedly, "You weren't so bad yourself Evans."

Lily chewed on her lower lip as she scrutinized Sirius. James placed his chin on her forehead as Peter turned back into his human form and went to sit next to Remus on the floor.

"So you don't regret almost killing someone?" Lily asked, thinking about Snape's roll.

Sirius said seriously, "Of course I regret—I just—I really don't like Severus Snape. Alright Evans? I regret everything about that night but don't make me say I'm happy Severus Snape gets to bloody walk around and make Remus' life a living Hell because of _my_ mistakes."

"You said you were sorry and you meant it." James said loyally to Sirius over Lily's head, "We've all paid our dues for the willow."

"You were the one with the brains to realize what I'd done." Sirius said moodily, "The only one who cared about Remus enough—"

"Stop." Remus said moodily, "We've been over this a hundred times."

"Doesn't mean I don't feel any worse about it." Sirius' shoulder's dropped and Lily was reminded of a dog being told he was bad, but she didn't know if that's because she knew his animagus was the over loyal dog.

"James?" Lily asked, turning in his arms so she was facing him again.

"Hm?" James replied, wrapping his arms even more tightly around her waist.

"Are you still mad at Sirius?"

"No." James said firmly, "Remus is right, we've discussed this a thousand times."

Peter nodded firmly, "The only one to blame was Snape, for sticking his hooked nose everywhere we went."

That sparked something else on Lily's brain, "So wait, does Snape know you are all animagus?"

"Of course not!" all four boys looked tortured even at the thought.

"He would've turned James and the rest of the boys in immediately." Remus said confidently, "Snape has no sure notion of what he saw in the tunnels that night—just guesses that Dumbledore had asked him to not repeat." Remus said with a thankful look at James, "We'd probably not be standing here today if James hadn't of stepped in and saved Snape and I."

James flushed under the praise as he did earlier, "I told you. I did it for Sirius. And Remus. And Peter. I did it for all of us."

Lily had a feeling that even though James refused to admit it, he'd done it for Snape too.

"James is pretty sure Dumbledore picked him for Head Boy because of the willow incident." Peter piped up, "Snape was _livid_ on the train this year when he saw James with the badge."

"Why do you hate him so much?" Lily asked James before glancing back at the other boys, "You've always had a weird thing against him."

"He'd picked on Remus and Peter long before we became the Marauders." James whispered, "He made fun of Remus' health and Peter's weight. He picked on muggleborns when you weren't looking. He loved dark magic."

Lily pursed her lips, almost imagining Snape saying the cruel things. She wouldn't put it past Snape since he was the one who had so publically called her a mudblood in front of their entire school. Lily leaned into James' touch, sympathetic.

Sirius swallowed, "I suppose we got wind of his _fancy_ with the dark arts and just knew Snape was going to grow up to be someone we couldn't stand."

"You guys saw it faster than I did." Lily whispered.

Sirius placed a hand on her shoulder, "He's put you through Hell, everyone knows that."

"Yeah well," Lily whispered bitterly, "You and I have one thing in common Sirius, and that's how much we don't like Severus Snape's obsession with the dark arts."

"We have two things in common actually." Sirius' mouth flickered up.

"What else?"

Sirius winked, "We both love James Potter."

Lily beamed as James continued nuzzling her neck. Lily couldn't do anything but laugh because in just a few short months she could see Sirius standing with a cup raised at her while she embraced James at an alter. She could see a future with James that included Christmas' with the boys and long walks in the fall afternoons.

James kept his fingers looped through Lily's as they all walked to dinner together later that night. His lips hardly ever left her ear, where he kept whispering things to her when no one else was paying attention. He wouldn't have left her at all, she guessed, if it weren't a quidditch practice night.

Lily and James' mates all stayed in the pitch long enough to watch James start practice but it was Remus who suggested they go for a walk along the lake once snow started falling. Peter led the way, kicking his way through the snow that dusted the grass they walked through to a trail behind the quidditch stadium. Lily and Remus both walked at a slow pace watching as Sirius turned into his animagus without warning and began bounding ahead barking like a maniac.

Moments later Peter had disappeared, likely scurrying through the grasses after Sirius. Lily giggled as she watched Sirius bounce and pound over the long wavy grasses, snow littering his fur like dandruff. She still couldn't believe that her friends were illegal animagus and had spent the last four years prancing around Hogwarts in their animal forms.

"They are much smarter than anyone ever gives them credit for." Lily said to Remus.

"Yes, they are." Remus smirked, "but they can also be the biggest idiots anyone's ever met."

Lily laughed and nodded her head, thinking of all the ridiculous things the boys had ever said or done in the last seven years.

"They do like you a lot you know." Remus told Lily as they skirted the lake edge opposite of the castle, "I know James probably tells you that all the time but it's true…Peter'll come around eventually too."

Lily shrugged, "You can't please everyone."

Lily eventually made her way back to the castle alone. The common room was bustling when she entered. Mary, Marlene, Ingrid, and Sue were all sitting at a table near one of the windows. The snow was falling thickly now and Lily was shivering from the drops that had sunk through her cloak. She fell into a chair beside Mary, sighing as heat crept back into her numb fingers.

"Where have you been?" Mary asked as she finished sketching a rune.

"With James." Lily said, unbuttoning her cloak and throwing it over the chair haphazardly.

"James?" Ingrid waggled her eyebrows, "All day?"

"We had a lot to talk about." Lily exchanged a look with Marlene who effectively dropped her quill.

"You told him!" Marlene gasped excitedly, "Lily Evans, you told James about the soulmates theory didn't you?!"

"Patronus theory?" Ingrid looked confused and Sue stopped writing to stare at Marlene.

"I forgot you all didn't realize," Marlene said with a gasp, "Lily's corporeal patronus is a doe, not a horse like she was telling everyone."

"A what?" Sue looked at Lily for help.

"A female deer." Lily explained.

"And?" Mary asked.

Marlene's lips curved into a impressive grin, "Well, Mary, James' patronus happens to be a deer too."

"Again," Mary said with a stony expression, "And?"

"Tell 'em Lily." Marlene said proudly.

"We're soulmates." Lily flushed at the term when all four girls just stared.

"How does _that_ make them soulmates?" Sue enquired nastily, Mary nodding in agreement at her side.

"Did any of you know about patronus charms?" Marlene looked exasperated, "If the corporeal patronus' match then that means the souls of the casters are matched—effectively making Lily and James soulmates!"

"How romantic." Ingrid sighed into her homework.

Mary, however, was not swayed, "And you _believe_ that?"

"I mean the corporeal was kind of screaming in my face." Lily blinked, "hard not to accept it when a doe is prancing in front of your face every time you cast the charm."

"It seems really unlike for you to believe anything without solid proof." Mary crossed her arms and stared at Lily, as if waiting for Lily to say she was kidding.

Marlene intercepted with a frown, "Lily spent the last three days basically researching the entire thing."

Lily admitted, "I read all the books I could find and Pigeon himself confirmed it so, _really_ , James and I are seriously the textbook version of soulmates."

"But—but soulmates is such a—" Mary stuttered weirdly, "Like, now what? You're in love with him because a book told you so?"

"I've done a lot of thinking Mary." Lily said honestly, "And I _do_ love James."

"You hated him!" Mary sputtered, slamming her fist on the table.

Marlene rolled her eyes, "Nah, she didn't."

Mary retraced her hand quickly, "Lily spent the entirety of fifth year complaining about how much of an arrogant toerag Potter is and now we're just supposed to accept they're soulmates because of a magic charm?"

Lily glared at Mary, "James and I aren't fifteen anymore Mary." She said firmly, "Just like you aren't fifteen anymore."

Mary stood up and grabbed her bag. Ingrid and Sue were quiet, watching the girls fight. Marlene looked exhausted.

"Where are you going?" Marlene asked Mary.

"Mary." Lily explained, "James' stag matches my doe and that means our souls are matched, end of story."

"I've never heard of patronus' matching before." Ingrid said.

"Pigeon said it's rare but can happen." Lily replied before looking back at Mary, "It doesn't change anything though, I've always been in love with James."

Mary's eyes narrowed, " _What_?"

"I said I'm in love with James Potter." Lily said collectedly, "And we're soulmates and I know that sounds crazy but it's true."

"It's not crazy." Mary said, pulling her shoulders tightly, "It's immature. This isn't some fairytale, this is real life."

" _I_ think it's romantic." Marlene argued along for Lily's sake, "I mean, Mary, if your Hufflepuff boyfriend and you had matching souls would you question it?"

"Obviously." Mary said.

"I questioned it." Lily offered reasonably, "But after thinking about it and talking to James—"

"Of course _James_ is going to automatically agree with that crackpot theory." Mary rolled her eyes, "Lily, he's been in love with you for ages."

"It's a bit fairytale but it's _not_ crackpot." Lily corrected, "It's a charms theory. You wouldn't question a charm theory…would you?"

Mary asked irately, "Did you even talk to Professor Flitwick?"

"Well no," Lily admitted, "And I probably won't because I believe the theory."

"I think you should talk to Professor Flitwick and not the Professor from Hell who spent the first half of this term calling you names." Mary said softly.

Marlene, who had begun speaking up in Professor Pigeon's favor said heatedly, "Professor Pidge knows a Hell of a lot more than half the Professors here and I wish the lot of you would stop acting like he's the reincarnation of the devil. Lily was _right_ in going to him for advice."

Mary, who was past anger snapped at Marlene, "Of course you side with Lily, you've always sided with her!"

"What!" Marlene stood up angrily, "Mary you're mad!"

"I'm so sick of the two of you ganging up on me!" Mary half shouted through tears, "Just like you are now!"

"We're not ganging up on you!" Lily said exasperatedly, "Seriously Mary!"

"Mary you need to take a chill—" Marlene started but was cut off by Mary, "

"Shut up!" she whipped around at Marlene, "You always side with Lily, in everything! It's always been the Lily and Marlene show! Even now, you're telling her she's not crazy for talking to the Professor at this school who has literally made first years cry."

"Professor Pidge was the only Professor who even showed remorse when my parents died." Marlene snarled, her blue eyes shining dangerously, "He's the only wizard at this bloody school who looks beyond my face and sees _potential_."

Mary didn't seem pcicified by Marlene's bite back and instead turned on Lily, "And you. I'm so tired of hearing about you and Potter—Potter! The bloke who spent the better half of the last seven years _bullying_ students like Reg just to show he's handy with a wand! Reg told me so many things about your boyfriend, how he always sneaks out and how he's been caught loads of times out of bed. How he's been sent to Dumbledore's office for almost _killing_ a student."

Lily's mouth dropped open at the accusation and Ingrid and Sue whispered to each other frantically as Marlene slammed her hand on the shared desk. Around them, other Gryffindor's were watching in surprise. Lily's chest rose and fell as Lily slowly lifted herself from her chair to stand at Mary's height.

"I'm sorry you're not a fan of James, Mary," Lily managed to keep her voice level, "but honestly, you've _never_ given him the chance."

Mary huffed and turned on her heel, her robes swinging about her ankles dramatically, "Never mind, you have a good life with him, Lily."

"Where are you going?" Marlene asked Mary, "We're not done!"

Mary blinked rapidly, "I'm done, I'm going to bed."

"What's her problem?" Ingrid asked Lily after Mary had climbed up the girl's staircase in haste, sobs shaking her shoulders.

"Mary's never been a super fan of James." Marlene told Ingrid.

"Any purebloods really." Sue said, "Do you think what she said about James is true?"

Lily knew the truth but none of the girls around her could know the real reason James was always out of bounds, "Mary doesn't want to be convinced of anything," Lily responded, "She just want's to be right."

"She'll cool down." Marlene seemed to be trying to convince herself, "She's our best friend."

Lily said bitterly, "It seems like Hufflepuff boyfriend isn't a fan of us, or James."

"No wonder Mary likes him." Sue snorted, "Since she clearly hates James."

"She hates who James was at fifteen." Lily argued, "She doesn't know the James that I know."

"I dunno," Ingrid said, "He still seems like the James Potter I knew at fifteen. He still skips classes. He still pulls pranks on Professors. And he's still in love with you."

Lily didn't know how to tell the girls that there was so much more to James Potter than the average eye saw but she also knew she couldn't tell them—that was her secret as well as his. Lily and the other girls worked on their homework silently. Marlene was stabbing her papers a little more forcefully than necessary and Lily kept hearing Mary's accusations in her ear.

Lily wasn't going to talk to Flitwick, even if he was the Professor who taught charms. Lily no longer wanted proof or confirmation about James loving her. James was her evidence, when he walked into the common room after quidditch practice and sought her out immediately for a quick kiss on the cheek. Lily's smile was the reward, as her grin was the only real one she wore for the rest of the night.

"What's wrong?" he whispered, seeing right through her smile.

Marlene spoke up, "Mary thinks that Lily and I are ganging up on her."

Lily turned in her chair to effectively stare at James sadly, "We got into a huge row. She thinks it's crackpot crazy that we're soulmates."

James placed his fingers on her cheek, "It is a bit crackpot," he whispered with a small smile, "but I'm sure if you just—"

"She doesn't like you James." Lily cut him off, feeling emotional, "Reg has only been encouraging her dislike."

"Reg?" James questioned.

"Reg Cattermole." Marlene said flatly, "Her Hufflepuff boyfriend."

James frowned, "The sixth year who plays gobblestones in the Library?"

Lily pointedly glared, "He's been telling her that she's right and you're a horrible person…therefore I am now a horrible person for loving you."

Marlene smirked, "So of course, I'm a horrible person for apparently _siding_ with Lily."

James sighed, "I'm sure she'll come around," he said, "She's your best friend."

"I'm afraid unless Lily dumps you, Mary is going to be quite unwavering in her anger," Ingrid spoke up and everyone looked at her in confusion. Ingrid shrugged and continued, "She very clearly doesn't agree that Lily and James are compatable."

"We're fucking _soulmates_." James said flatly, "How more compatible can you get?"

Sue spoke next, "Mary _did_ say Lily should talk to Flitwick. Maybe that would help?"

"I'm not speaking to Professor Flitwick." Lily said stubbornly, "And that's the last time we're discussing this."

Lily stood up, glancing sideways at James, "Want to go for a walk?" she asked him.

James allowed Lily to pull him out of the common room and into the dark Hogwarts stairwells. She had no intention of talking either, effectively letting go of his hand and backing herself up against one of the large staircases angrily. She crossed her arms and stared at James. He stared back at her with a sad smile.

"Remember what you said earlier?" he asked, taking a step forward to place both his hands on her shoulders.

"No." Lily said grumpily, staring at the floor.

James brushed strands of her hair off her shoulders, "You told Peter you didn't want to come in-between our friendship. I feel the same way."

Lily pouted and looked up at him in the dark, her hands finding their way around his neck, "This isn't like Peter. Mary just…" Lily sighed, "We used to be on the same page about everything and now Mary would rather be with her boyfriend than with Marlene and I."

James asked, "Well aren't you with me a lot now?"

"Yes," Lily sanctioned, "But that's why I decided we'd all go to Hogsmede together but it's hard to keep friends together when we're all…changing."

James bit his lip and kissed her forehead softly before pulling back and saying affectionately, "I know," he whispered, "I'm sorry not all our friends are supportive of us."

"You can't please everyone." She chewed on her lower lip before glancing up at him again and saw his eyes were shouldering in the darkness.

"I could always go make friends with Cattermole." James suggested, pushing his hips into hers, "Maybe then Mary would like me more?"

"I think that's the opposite of what you should do, since Cattermole appeanrlty thinks you're worse than any old Slytherin."

"He was at the end of one of my pranks in third year." James commented dryly, "I think Sirius and I made him and his mates do the Southern Jig on Christmas." James wrinkled his nose, "Turns out Hufflepuff's aren't great dancers."

"You'll stay out of this." Lily said, knowing he was teasing, "My fight with Mary is my fight to deal with."

"Seeing as you care enough to worry about my mates," James countered quickly, pushing her slightly so their bodies were tightly formed against each other, "I'm going to worry about yours. And I'm worried Mary's in a relationship with the wrong person."

"You just don't like Cattermole because he doesn't like you and tells Mary about all your misdoings." Her breath hitched when he licked his lips and stared at her mouth expectantly.

James chuckled and leaned closer to her, "Your right," he whispered poignantly, "I should just make her best friend sing my praises more."

His fingers lifted to cup her face and he drew her in for a sweet lingering kiss that made her toes curl in her shoes. He pulled away but Lily reattached his lips to hers with a grateful sigh, happy to have him in her life. The bannister was pressing into her back but she didn't care as she wrapped her legs around his waist while their mouths tugged against each other zealously.

The hallway might've been dark but Lily felt like she was glowing under his touch. He made all her emotions fade away with one small smile. Lily ran her own fingers across his lips tenderly. He, for better or worse, was sticking to her side and she didn't know how she came to deserve someone like him but she was grateful.

"I love you." She stated.

"And here I was worried you'd find out I was part deer and run in the opposite direction." James jested, challenging her with a playful jut of his hips, "But you still can't keep your hands off me."

Lily pressed her lips against his cheek before dragging her teeth along his chin to his ear where she whispered, "You are so _amazing_ and _special_ and James…" he moaned when she beamed against his ear effectively, "you're still a four-eyed, half-deer, wizard with a dog, rat, and werewolf as your best friends."

"You say that as if it's a _bad_ thing." He said before overriding her giggle with his eager mouth.

* * *

 **Next Time:**

"The answers you are seeking would better come from someone who has studied primeval innate magic."

"Innate magic?" Lily questioned.

Professor Flitwick nodded shortly, "Innate magic is magic stemmed from human emotions."

Lily tucked her hair behind her hair, "Is there anyone at Hogwarts who knows how it works?"

Professor Flitwick thought for a moment before answering, "Professor Dumbledore probably has some knowledge but Professor Pidge studied that magic himself, in fact, so you might want to ask him first."

Marlene was rather smug about the entire thing, "I _told_ you Pidge knew a lot." She hissed as they left the classroom arm in arm.

* * *

 **Okay guys, this time I mean it. The next chapter, Chapter 15, will be the last chapter of Soulmates. You can thank Levins18 for the extra chapter. She convinced me to follow my writing heart. I love all of you for living this story and following it to the end. I should have the last chapter uploaded soon.**

 **All my love,**

 **Petals**


	15. Today Was A Fairytale

_15_

 _Can you feel this magic in the air?_

 _It must have been the way you kissed me_

 _Fell in love when I saw you standing there_

 _It must have been the way_

 _Today was a fairytale_

"Mary?"

Lily reached forward to pull aside Mary's thick velvet curtains aside from her four-poster when her quiet voice didn't answer Lily's call. Mary's covers were crumpled in the corners with a pillow but Mary was gone already and it wasn't even quarter to seven in the morning. Lily dropped the curtain, dismayed, as she deliberated when Mary had left unnoticed. Lily had seen Ingrid and Sue leave so she was surprised she hadn't seen Mary with them.

"Hurry up Lily," Marlene said from by the door, "I have to write a essay at breakfast."

Lily grabbed her bag the same time that Marlene finished putting on her shoes. Their dorm was strangely quiet without all the Gryffindor's present and Lily was thankful she knew that once she got downstairs it would be loud again thanks to the boys. Lily checked once in the bathroom for Mary but the loo was empty save for Ingrid's scorching gel container and Sue's black cat Swivers.

"Mary _really_ doesn't want to talk to us." Lily whined.

Marlene sent Lily a look, "I think she just got angry with us."

"Yeah," Lily mumbled as she and Marlene scrambled down the girls' staircase to the common room, "We _all_ did."

"Hopefully she's cooled down." Marlene said hopefully, "Although, she was pretty mad about the whole James thing."

"James and I are a package deal, I don't know why she didn't get that when we first started seeing each other." Lily hissed.

"I think it's because of the added Soulmates to your relationship that turned her off." Marlene said vaguely, "I'm Sure Mary was hoping you were going through a faze."

"What makes you say that?" Lily said at the bottom stair.

Marlene grinned sheepishly, "Well, she told me so when you started snogging him."

Lily couldn't resist rolling her eyes, "Why doesn't that surprise me?"

"Lily, Marlene, over here!" Remus called.

James and his mates were waiting by the portrait hole with his mates and the (Lily was sure _very_ unwelcome) Tizzie. Lily grinned and waved at Remus and Peter. Sirius was staring at James, who was in a passionate conversation with Tizzie. Lily fell next to James as they all headed out of the portrait hole for breakfast. James only pressed a kiss to her temple; he was too busy talking to Tizzie to have a regular conversation with her it seemed.

The fifth year prefect was blasting words a mile a minute, talking about some quidditch match gone wrong. Lily noticed Tizzie was wearing his robes open to show off his clothes underneath—like James. She had to bite back a smile. James was trying to slow Tizzie down, looking exasperated.

"I'm not saying I don't agree with you Tiz," James said as the Gryffindor's made their way down the crowded halls, "It's just, investing so much money into new broomsticks for an entire quidditch team _isn't_ going to make them better."

"It's the _Chudley Cannons_ ," Tizzie said melodramatically and James' fingers twitched against Lily's.

She knew he was annoyed and decided to intervene, for Tizzie's sake, "What are you two arguing about?"

"If the Chudly Cannons have a chance at the cup in 1979." James told Lily resignedly.

"Oh, hey Lily." Tiz grinned, fluffing his hair when he noticed her, finally, "How are you this _fine_ morning?"

"Yeah Evans," Sirius finally spoke, sending Lily a goofy grin, "How are you this _fine_ , _excellent_ morning?"

Tizzie chewed on his lips ebfore saying, "Did MacDonald come around? Or is she still made you're dating James?"

Lily flushed and everyone in the group soured. Tizzie didn't notice.

"I think you and James are great together." His eyes were sparkling with envy, "He's so great and you're so rpetty."

"Thanks Tiz." Lily said through her teeth.

"I'm gonna throw up." Sirius whispered loud enough for Lily to hear so she'd send him a look.

James caught on to Sirius' teasing, "This fine, excellent, morning would be much better if it was just the two of us." He announced to Lily, pressing his lips to her cheek keenly.

"Me too James." Lily said, as if she hadn't seen him in ages, brushing her fingers through his hair playfully, "I just love you so much!"

"I couldn't agree with you more." Sirius broadcasted, coming in between Lily and James, pulling their hands apart, "I love you, mate."

"I meant Lily and I, you numpty." James nagged.

"You're cute when you're in denial." Sirius brushed James' hair back like Lily had just done and James swung his arm around to wrap Sirius in a headlock.

"Well," Peter said to Remus as they all walked while Sirius and James wrestled, "Good to see nothings changed."

Lily curved over James shoulder to look at Peter, "No one warned me I'd be dating both of them."

Tizzie, who simply looked thrilled to be included in the cluster of seventh years, played with Lily, "If Potter ever leaves you for Black, Evans, I'll take over."

" _Woah_!" James let go of Sirius immediately and wrapped his arms possessively around Lily's wait, "Ah-ah, Tiz, she's mine."

"Wrong." Marlene countered, squeezing her arms around Lily's front so she was squeezed between James and Marlene, "She's mine."

Lily hooted as James and Marlene began tugging her awkwardly down the staircase, both arguing with whom she belonged too. It turned into a big scuffle when Sirius decided he wanted to start arguing how much he owned of each of them, starting with James, with whom he claimed he owned all of. Lily debated she owned James at least sixty percent of the time.

Sirius shook his finger at her, "You might've shagged him Evans but this goes beyond sex."

Marlene rolled her eyes and James laughed and rubbed Lily's arm. Tizzie stared at them all with round eyes. Lily placed a hand on her hip to examine Sirius seriously. Sirius moved on as if nothing fazed him.

"Anyways, I've seen James starkers _way_ more than you and—"

"How do you know that?" Lily disputed, knowing very well it was better to play along than fight with Sirius.

"How do _I_ know that?" Sirius exclaimed before glancing at James who was shaking his head into Lily's shoulder, "How does she _not_ know that?"

Remus, who had since stayed discreet, finally stepped into the scuffle as they entered the Great Hall to a flurry of owls, "Sirius I think the fact that James and Lily have matching patronus' means that Lily wins this round."

Sirius pouted as everyone around surrounding the couple laughed. James slung an arm around Sirius, ruffling his hair good-naturedly. Sirius pushed James' hands away, pretending to be hurt even though he had a stupid smile on his face. Marlene and Lily winked at each other, both of them amused by the Gryffindor boys.

"Don't worry Padfoot." James sang to Sirius, "We'll be sure you receive the wedding invitation."

Lily kept smiling until she spotted Mary among a crowd of Hufflepuff's at the yellow bannered table. Mary was laughing and didn't even glance over at them as they passed. Lily nudged Marlene roughly in the side and nodded to their friend. Mary's hair was worn in its two identical braids and her brown eyes were focused on something Reg Cattermole was saying to the whole group. James and Sirius noticed the two girls break off from their jokes and enter into silence.

"Give her some time to cool off." Sirius told them when he caught them staring, "James punched me in the face when I went after him when we fought."

"I did not punch you."

"Did too."

"Did not."

Lily and Marlene ignored the (basically) brothers and glanced at each other. The foreboding look on Marlene's face was the same one on Lily's face. It worried Lily that Mary didn't even want to make an effort. Mary had always been stubborn ands tuck in her own brain but she'd never stayed mad at them before. They had no sooner sat down at the Gryffindor table before Marlene erupted from the perplexity.

"I'll try talking to her," Marlene said to Lily, "She said I always take your side—maybe if I go talk to her, she'll see that was absurd?"

Lily shrugged and leaned closer to Marley, away from James, "Maybe, I definitely think I shouldn't talk to her since I have a feeling she'll just bring up James."

Marlene nodded and stood up, straightening her robes, "I'll talk to her then."

James glanced over to watch Marlene walking towards the Hufflepuff table, "Where is Marley off too?" he whispered in her ear.

"She's dealing with the Hufflepuffs." Lily muttered back.

"She'd better watch her back," James said, "Cattermole doesn't look happy."

"What's his _problem_?"

Lily watched Marlene speak to Mary and she saw a lot of hand movements between the girls. Marley and Mary even looked their way and Lily offered a friendly smile, to no avail. Cattermole said something and everyone suddenly looked like death had arrived at the Hufflepuff table. Lily watched with baffled eyes as Mary and Marley both left the Great Hall together, talking horridly. James kept Lily firmly planted in her seat until it was time for Transfiguration.

AS she walked with the boys to class she kept her eyes peeled for Marlene or Mary but they'd both become invisible. Lily was dying to know what Mary was saying…and what Reg Cattermole had said. When Lily and James passed Cattermole on the way to class he sent them both a glare and whispered something to his blond friend who nodded swiftly and kept his head turned away from the Marauders.

"Who was the bloke with Cattermole?" Lily asked the boys.

"Bertram Aubrey." Sirius answered for James, "We got detention once because of him."

"It was our fault," James admitted very quickly, "He told me I flew like a confounded eagle in one of my games and I hexed him."

"James!"

"I was sixteen!"

"You're seventeen now." Lily snorted, glaring at her boyfriend, "Did you apologize?"

"He wouldn't let me." James muttered.

"Sirius kept calling him _Captain Bertram Bighead_ and Aubrey can't look at them anymore." Remus explained.

"Mature." Lily said icily, "And you lot wonder why half the student body thinks you're trouble."

"We prefer it that way." James said, "Leave's less Tizzie's and Snape's to find out about our secret."

"Exactly." Sirius nodded at James.

Lily rolled her eyes as they entered the classroom. James and his mates claimed their normal seats and lily sat down in front of them. Ingrid and Sue (and Sue's twin sister Petunia) were already scouring over magazines. Sue and Petunia sent Lily smiles while Ingrid only waved hastily as she read an article in her magazine. Lily got out her books and was looking for her quill when Marlene reappeared.

"Well I _tried_."

Lily looked up from her desk to watch Marlene fall into a chair beside Lily, looking worn out. Marlene's sand colored curly hair bounced to her left shoulder and Lily placed her quill down worriedly. It didn't look like the chat with Mary went well at all.

"She didn't want to talk?" Lily assumed by Marley's face.

Marlene shook her head, blue eyes flashing, "Oh she talked, and Cattermole's been telling her wonderful stories."

"Cattermole?" Lily jaw clenched.

"Yeah, apparently he's had wonderful opinions about us this whole time. It's why he didn't want to date her at first."

"What?" Lily exsplained.

Ingrid, Sue, and Petunia were all listening now, the magazine's not as interesting as the Gryffindor drama. Marlene slammed her hand on her desk angrily.

"Yeah so _apparently_ since you hang out with the resident school mischief-makers and I _apparently_ am way too promiscuous with a certain Aaron Tivett—we're bad news for Mary?"

"What?" Lily asked absurdly, "Are you _serious_?"

"I know." Marley huffed, "I mean, me? And Aaron Tivett? We've only seen each other in passing since—well—" Marlene's voice dropped off and Lily knew she meant that things had changed since her parents died.

"Who the Hell—" Lily struggle to find words, "He was holding out on her in October because of _us_?"

"And ever since he agreed to date her, he and his stupid mates have told her a million and one stories about James Potter and that's turned her off from him more than Severus Snape on a good day." Marlene looked ready to throw a fit.

Lily was about to drag Cattermole's name to hell and back again, before James cut her off. "Those expressions are worrying," James leaned forward in his desk, planting a kiss on her cheek.

Lily turned in her chair to look at him, "James, Cattermole and his mates have been telling Mary about your history with them and apparently the reason Cattermole didn't want to date Mary at the start was because she was friends with me and I was snogging you."

"What?" James snorted, "Because all Huffelpuff's are sin free? What a joke."

"Apparently they're better for Mary than her own bloody house." Marlene crossed her arms, "And Cattermole had the _gall_ to say Mary only had problems with the Slytherins because of hanging out with Lily so much."

"What's that have to do with it?" Lily exclaimed.

"Well," Petunia spoke up and everyone glared at her, "You did hang out with Severus Snape and he was pretty rotten to Mary behind your back."

Sue stuck up for her twin, "Yeah and the time Mulciber caught Mary in the bathroom—Mulciber is friends with Snape."

Lily leaned back in her chair, "I can't believe they're blaming me—"

"Mary's not blaming you." Marlene said angrily, "Cattermole is and Mary's apparently angry enough about James to go along with it."

Lily's fists curled against her side. They had both tried, unsuccessfully, to talk to Mary. Mary thought James' numerous detentions and infractions and moods were all because he _liked_ being in trouble. Ninty percent of the time James, detentions were because of Remus or protecting his friends. Of course, Lily knew it wasn't Mary's fault that she didn't know about James' good moral reasons for being all kinds of trouble. Most of the time, Lily had just assumed James was skipping classes for the Hell of it. It was only now that she knew that there was more to James and his crew than met the eye.

Lily exchanged a glance with James and she saw he looked disappointed. His hand went to her shoulder and he squeezed it before leaning away to talk to Remus and Sirius in undertones. Mary came to class right before the bell rang and sat in the back of the class with some Hufflepuff's, far away from the other Gryffindors. While Professor McGonagall lectured about transfiguring household objects, Lily took to passing notes with James.

 _Did you ever do anything specific to Reg Cattermole?_

She could hear his quill scratching behind her as she awaited his reply.

 _I think I turned his hair pink once?_

 _On accident though._

 _I was aiming the charm for Sarah Mathers on favor for Remus._

 _She'd made fun of some of his scars._

Two seconds later a shorter note joined his long one.

 _Why?_

Lily used one of his scraps to write him back beneath the cover of her hair.

 _He really just seems to dislike you..._

James write her back moments later.

 _I don't know why, I told him he pulled off that pink hair better than Sarah ever would have._

Lily sighed, not believing that she was in love with him but know she was ardently in love with him. Lily turned in her seat and stuck her tongue out at him and he stuck his own tongue out right back at her. Lily laughed softly before writing him back.

 _I wish she'd see you like I do._

James waited a second before throwing a scrap of paper into her lap.

 _And how's that? Charming? Handsome? Brave?_

Her reply was simple.

 _git._

She smiled at his reply.

 _I love you more than I love chocolate cauldrons_

The parchment had hearts and their initials all around it. Marlene sorted when she saw it and rolled her eyes. Lily chewed on her lower lip and sent James a sultry grin when Professor McGonagall had her back turned.

When Transfiguration was finally over the seventh year Gryffindor's made their way to Defense Against the Dark Arts. Mary left quickly, not wanting to be stopped by either of her friends it seemed. James had his arm wrapped around Lily and they were walking a little ahead of the group.

"So, I was thinking," James said suddenly, springing Lily from her thoughts, "I know you said Mary wanted us to talk to Professor Flitwick about the Patronus Charm Theory…and you told her no because you've already spoken to Professor Pidge…"

"She thinks we can't trust Pidge." Lily told James as he played with his fingers.

James shrugged, "I kind of agree with Mary."

Lily sent him a pointed look, "Really?"

"Listen," James said, "I don't know if you remember but when we first stared covering patronus charms, Pigeon said something that got me thinking."

"Got you think that he's crazy?" Lily offered jokingly.

" _That_ ," James agreed, "And the fact that he said he can't produce a corporeal patronus."

Lily chewed on her lower lip, "He did?"

James nodded, "He said he couldn't and yet when you went to go talk to him he seemed to know a Hell of a lot about them for someone who's never produced one before."

Lily pondered this as Marlene came sidling up next to them, "You think he's lying."

"I think he's not entirely telling anyone the truth."

"Who?" Marlene asked, chewing on a sugar quill.

"Pigeon." Lily told Marlene, "James wants to talk to Flitwick about the Patronus Charm."

"Wow," Marlene seemed impressed, "James want's to know more than you?"

"I want to know more about this phenomenon." Lily motioned in-between them, "Something that Pigeon said made _me_ wonder more about how we're connected."

James traced her hip with his fingers, staring at her adoringly, "What'd Pigeon say?"

Lily sighed, "He said he thought your patronus would be a chimpanzee."

Marlene threw her head back laughing and James' expression soured.

"What the fuck." James moaned, "Why does he hate me?"

"He hates me too," Lily assured James, "He thought I'd be a skunk, apparently."

"He's blinder than we thought." James rolled his eyes, "You're a graceful, beautiful doe."

"Look," Marlene interrupted, "I think talking to Flitwick would be a waste of time, you two are already in love, what else is there to know?"

Lily shook her head, "No, Pigeon did mention that he wanted to talk to us…I just didn't tell Pigeon that our patronus' matched when he told me it was rare."

"Rare?"

Lily nodded, "Yeah, like, a phenomenon."

James looked smug, "We're a phenomenon?"

Lily rolled her eyes and pinched his chest before saying earnestly, "Pigeon said that living without you would be like _walking through Hell_ , his words not mine."

James pressed his lips against her forehead, "You know, this might be the one time Pigeon is actually right."

Marlene stared at them both happily, "This is so disgustingly cute."

"Marlene's happier than we are I think." James grinned as Lily rolled her eyes in Marlene's direction.

"Hey," Marlene took a new sugar quill from her bag and popped it into her mouth before answering, "I've been waiting for the two of you to shag since sixth year when Lily said she thought your hair was nice in Transfiguration."

"You thought my hair was nice in sixth year?" James looked at Lily for compliments.

"I may have liked it once or twice." Lily commented playfully, running her fingers through his black hair to prove it.

James let out a little laugh before kissing her full on the mouth.

Peter asked from farther behind them, "So, do you think they'll every stop touching each other?"

"Get used to it Pete," Sirius told the smaller boy contentedly, "Those two aren't slowing down anytime soon."

James winked at Lily when he pulled away from her "So," James said conversationally, "What would I have to do to get you to ditch classes the rest of the day?"

Lily stared at her boyfriend carefully, "You've missed classes the last two days and I missed all of yesterday."

"Yeah, but we've got so much we could be _doing_."

"Get into your seat James Potter." Lily laughed, pushing James through the door of the Defense classroom playfully as she and Marlene sent each other amused grins.

James wasn't done talking to her it seemed because he continued his note passing while Professor Pigeon taught Maria Merryweather and Thomas Coons how to properly hold their wands in a duel.

 _What about our free time later?_

Lily curved her eyebrow at James suggestively.

 _For what?_

 _Talking to Flitwick later._

Lily licked her lips before she replied hastily.

 _And here I was hoping you wanted to snog during our free time._

James kicked across the aisle, hitting her desk.

 _You're such a tease._

Lily blew him an intentional kiss.

 _I learned from the best._

They continued their careless bantering through lunch, where by the end, Lily agreed to meet James after Charms to speak with Professor Flitwick. James came exsactly as class ended, walking through the door with his hands shoved into his pockets until he was near enough to grasp Lily's waist. Professor Flitwick seemed surprised to see both Lily and James hanging out after Advanced Charms, especially since James wasn't in charms. Marlene sat on a desk in the back, waiting for them keenly.

"How can I help the both of you?"

Professor Flitwick was a short man and barely reached James' chest. He wore light blue robes and stood atop a stack of books to seem taller. Even on his stack though, he looked James in the eyes as he spoke.

Lily looked at James before considering their Professor; "We wanted to ask you about patronus charms."

"Ah," Professor Flitwick looked interested, "I heard Professor Pigeon was teaching the older students. Have either of you completed it?"

"We have actually." James said, "Our patronus' match."

"Really?" Flitwick's hat fell forward into his eyes excitedly, "Matching corporals?"

Lily nodded and pulled out her wand, "Would you like to see?"

Flitwick motioned for them to continue and Lily took a deep breath. It was the first time preforming the charm with James in the room. She chewed on her lower lip as they rotated so that they faced each other. James' smile lifted the left corner of his mouth and they both raised their wands at the same time. Lily stared into his hazel eyes, imagining his smile under the sheets the day before and she felt warmth seep all the way down to her toes.

" _Expecto patronum!_ "

Lily watched the silvery pattern fall from her wand tip and it spread through the air into the form of a silvery doe. The stag standing next to the doe was darker in silver and it's antlers rose a foot above the slightly doe. They nuzzled each other before disappearing and James' face was nothing but joy when her eyes connected back to his. Marlene's impressed clapping could be heard from the back of the classroom and both Lily and James blushed.

"You'll want to speak to Professor Pidge on that matter I'm afraid."

Lily's chest fell as she turned back to Professor Flitwick, pushing her red hair back to stare at him in astonishment. James also seemed surprised by Flitwick's answer.

"But _you're_ the charms Professor." James said, "Not Pigeon—er—Professor Pidge."

"I studied charm theory." Professor Flitwick enlightened from his stack of books, "The answers you two are seeking would better come from someone who had studied primevil innate magic."

"Innate magic?" Lily asked as she tucked her wand into her pocket.

Professor Flitwick nodded shortly, "Innate magic is stemmed from human emotions."

"Is there _anyone_ else at Hogwarts who knows that kind of magic?" James grumbled, thinking along the same lines as Lily about how Pigeon _loathed_ them.

Professor Flitwick thought about it a moment before answering confidently, "Professor Dumbledore would but he's out on business." Flitwick saw their disappointed looks and assured them, "Professor Pidge studied innate magic after his time at Hogwarts, he would be your best bet."

Marlene was rather smug about the whole thing. Lily wrapped her arm in Lily's with a _I-told-you-so_ sort of look Lily wouldn't have suspected from her best friend. James seemed equally as peeved.

"I told you Pigeon knew a lot." Marlene sang as she and Lily left the classroom arm in arm.

Lily turned to James, walking slowly behind them, with a frown; "Guess we've got a date with Pigeon, James."

"Great." James looked like he'd rather jump off the astronomy tower.

"Don't you both have a free period?" Marlene asked, "You should go now."

"Thanks for the suggestion." James mumbled and Marlene laughed, winking at James.

"Have fun Potter."

"Not likely."

Marlene shook her head at the couple as she unraveled herself from Lily, "He's mean, but he's not altogether unfortunate." She told them, "He's been nice to me when I ask him to help with my forms for Auror Academy and I know he's been helping Tommy Coons a lot too. Give him a chance."

"We'll try." Lily promised Marlene before they parted.

James wrapped his fingers in Lily's as they made their way through the densely crowded charms hallway to the quieter sections of the castle. Even though it was November the sun was shining through the windows, casting a arm glow over the students as they walked. Lily leaned closer to James, wondering if James would really go through with talking to Pigeon.

"Still want to learn more?" Lily teased as they deliberately traveled towards the Defense Arts hallway together.

James sighed and pulled her off route and into a wall. The stone was cold through her robes but she didn't mind, tangled up in his arms. She glowered up at James cunningly as he kissed the bridge of her nose.

"Honestly?" he said, "I don't really care...I'm just worried we can't trust him. What if tells us we share a soul or some shit like that…and we have to be studied like vampire fruit bats in the Amazon."

"What?" Lily laughed, tucking her hands into his robes, "James two people can't _share_ one soul."

"What even _is_ a soul?" James questioned, "Is it my heart?"

Lily stared blankly at James, exasperated, "James, you're thinking too much into this."

"Of course I am," James countered, "You've been rubbing off on me."

Lily laughed again and pressed her lips to his, "Take a chill potion, Prongs." She said against his lips.

"No pet names, _cupcake_ ," he reminded her and she gasped, pointing at him accusingly for the cupcake, "Hey," he grinned dangerously, "Your rule not mine!"

"You're the king of pet names!" she argued, "You and your mates literally have pet names for each other."

"If I can't give _you_ a pet name," he countered, " _You_ can't call _me_ by mine."

"Bullshit."

"Is that a challenge?"

Lily yanked him back down to her lips, smothering his playful grin away with her adoration. She licked away any retributions and bit at his own tongue, daring him to say more.

James broke away sloppily to say, "Fine," his eyes were still shut and he was grinning like a loon as Lily stared expectantly at him, " _You_ can call me Prongs."

"What's the catch?"

"I get to call you a pet name at least once a month."

"Once a year." Lily countered with a swift pop of her lips.

"Come here, _Flower_."

Lily actually cringed, making James laugh, "That's the worst one yet!"

"Sorry." he laughed, "I couldn't resist."

"There's your quota for the year."

It was James' turn to pull Lily in and kiss her until she was pushing away from him, breathing like she'd run up and down the staircases at least twenty times. Her hands were rushing down his face, memorizing every curve of his lips and every line on his jaw. James' thumb was rubbing against her chin, keeping her face level to his.

"Let's go find out if we share the same soul." He murmured.

She made it her mission to remind him, "Hey, I love you."

Professor Pigeon's classroom was filled with the banshee opera music again when they entered hand in hand. Professor Pidge was dressed in black robes and his grey eyes were closed, his ears taking in everything for him. His grizzled hair was combed to one side of his face and he looked healthier than when he'd first arrived to Hogwarts months before.

"Professor," Lily said forcefully, "I wanted to talk to you."

"I preferred when you didn't see _my_ free time as _your_ meddlesome period."

Lily heard James grumble and she tugged on James hand to remind him to keep his cool.

"Sir, you actually told me to bother you."

Pigeon scoffed, "I did not."

"It's about the patronus phenomenon."

That perked him up quickly. Pigeon waved his wand and the speaker blasting his weird opera obsession turned off immediately, drenching the classroom in silence. Lily and James stood in front of Pigeon's desk hand in hand, staring at the blind Professor doubtfully. His grey eyes were open, soaking in the silence readily.

"You matched." Professor Pidge showed all his teeth, "How _wonderful_. With who?"

"With me." James spoke up at Lily's side proudly.

"Ah, I'd recognize that overconfident tone anywhere." Professor Pigeon actually laughed, "Well, this is a treat. I don't think I've ever met any pair of students who were so suited for each other."

Lily and James glanced at each other before looking back at their blind Professor. Professor Pidge was leaning over in his chair, an insight to where his bad posture had come from. Lily swept her hair behind her ear, chewing on her lower lip.

"Why did you want to talk to Lily?" James asked, finally breaking the silence, "You told her this was rare, how rare?"

"Rare enough." Pigeon folded his fingers over his wand, "How long have you two known?"

"About a week for me." Lily whispered, "James just a few days."

Pigeon cleared his throat, "I'm happy you told him, Miss Evans. It would've been cruel not too."

Lily pulled James closer, "Why did you tell me it'd be Hell to live without him?" Lily asked, "What's so special about the corporeal patronus?"

James agreed, "Professor Flitwick told us you studied this kind of magic."

"I did." Pigeon said, "A long time ago."

"Is that before or after your wife died?" Lily asked insensitively.

Professor Pidge sat up irately, "What do you know about my wife, Evans?"

Lily took a step back, guarded, "Only what the McKinnon boys told me at the funeral."

Pigeon settled at mention of the McKinnon's, "They would know more. They're parents worked with my wife and I."

"What did you do?" James asked.

"One question at a time," Pigeon ordered, "I swear, you two are so impatient."

"Fine." Lily said, "First question. You said James and I are soulmates. How did this happen, exactly? How did my patronus end up matching James' patronus?"

Pigeon pushed at some of the papers on his desk, "Magic is unique in each form and feeds off its environment like a leech. Patronus', in particular, feed off a happy memory. In this case, for the both of you, your happiest memory is each other."

"Do patronus' change?" James seemed awkwardly unable to look at Lily when he asked that.

"No, well, _yes_ but only through great emotional stress." Pigeon explained, "It also hasn't been studied much, as not a lot of witches or wizards can produce a corporeal patronus."

Lily and James glanced at each other, remembering what Pigeon had said at the start of term.

"You said you can't." James reproached, "You lied, you have done a corporeal shaped patronus. Haven't you?"

"You're right Potter, but you're also wrong." Professor Pidge spoke in riddles, "I had no need to tell any of you kids the truth."

"What?" Lily furrowed her brow, "why not?"

"I told you both." Pigeon said nastily, "I am here on favor to Dumbledore, nothing more. It was not my intention to teach any of you anything."

James sighed and tugged on Lily's hand, "Let's go Lily." He muttered, "This is a waste of time."

Lily yanked her hand from James to put both her hands on Pigeon's desk angrily, "I don't believe that you don't want to teach us anything. You've been helping Marlene get into Auror Academy. You've been working with Thomas Coons. You've even been teaching in class." She whispered, "I don't know why you feel like you have to be miserable and make the rest of us follow suit—but I know you've got to have at least a shred of decency."

The silence could've cut through the room like a knife. Lily thought for a moment she'd broken through to Pidge but he was blind and staring at nothing. She couldn't read his face. Lily's shoulders dropped in defeat and that's when Pidge's chilling voice filled the room.

"I haven't been able to do a corporeal patronus since April 23 1973 when my soulmate died in my arms."

Lily's jaw dropped and beside her, James fell into the closest chair.

"Since you two are uncharacteristically quiet I'll cut to the chase." Professor Pidge played with his staff, "Her name was Mira Gianfranco."

"Wait," James breathed, " _You_ had a _soulmate_?"

"I met Mira in Egypt when we were both assigned by the Ministry to study Innate Magical Properties in the Egyptian Pyramids." Pigeon explained, "She was a curse breaker for the Department of Mysteries and she specialized in charms. I didn't think I had any chance with her as she was smarter than any of the other idiots we were assigned with but Mira had a laugh that made the excavations seem not as extensive."

"A charms curse breaker?" Lily whispered, imagining a strong blonde woman standing over Egyptian tombs with a cursed smile, " _Wicked_."

Lily hadn't even known that was an option as a job after Hogwarts. James seemed infatuated with Pigeon's background however.

"So you studied innate magic and she was a charms breaker…how'd you find out your patronus' matched?" James seemed to be trying to piece it together.

"Dementor's have a long history in Egypt." Pigeon enlightened, "We came across a breeding tomb and that's how we found out; when two hawks went soaring through the air instead of one."

"Your patronus is a Hawk." Lily stated, surprised.

And here they'd been calling him Pigeon for months.

Pigeon seemed to be lost in his own head and didn't answer Lily, "When I told Mira what it meant we dedicated our lives to learning more about innate magic in patronus charms and similar magic." He chuckled and leaned against his staff, "The Ministry funded it—soulmates are very rare as I mentioned before and they'd just uncovered an ancient innate love spell the Greeks used as protection."

"Like _Protego_?" James asked

"A thousand times more powerful than _Protego_." Pigeon disagreed, "When we were unable to gather any information from our patronus' we began studying the area in the brain that produced the _memories_ for a patronus."

"Your patronus matched Mira before you knew her." Lily was pacing now, back and forth, her mind absorbing the story like a fairytale, "How _odd_ is that?"

"Very odd." Pigeon replied curtly, "We don't know how souls pick their corporeal selves. Considering you and Mr. Potter developed your corporeal patronus' at the same time you were falling in love, I'd say it has something to do with that for the pair of you."

"So," James leaned forward in his chair, "Lily and I match because our souls were what? Playing off each other?"

"That's a theory that I'm sure Mira would've found fascinating."

"But it's rare?" James confirmed, "Rare enough that the Ministry was studying it?"

Pigeon nodded firmly, "Oh yes Mr. Potter." He said ominously, "You see, innate magic is the most powerful because it feeds off the most pure emotions: love and hate. Love creates protection."

"What does hate create?" Lily stopped pacing to glance at her blind Professor with interest.

"There are some dark innate creatures called Obscurus." Pigeon educated, "I have not studied them extensively myself, but most evidence suggests that the dark clouds are formed by fear stemmed by hate. They destroy things—rather than protect them."

"Like dementors?" James asked.

"Similar." Pigeon agreed, "But obscurus have no control, where as a dementor can choose to not to deliver that soul sucking kiss."

Lily was so overwhelmed that she fell into the seat beside James, "Did you and Mira learn all this together?"

"Yes." Professor Pidge seemed lost in another time, "We worked for years trying to recreate the Innate Protection spells used by the ancient Greeks. We thought we could do it since our souls matched…my wife died from what muggles call a brain aneurysm and I went blind after one of our tests in the—well—when one of our tests went wrong."

"That sounds awful." Lily hugged James and James wrapped his arm around her, as if trying to still her.

"So," James believed, staring at Lily determinedly, "When your wife died, you couldn't preform the patronus charm anymore?"

Pigeon raised an eyebrow at his desk, "If you walk the earth long enough without your happiest memory, you don't have anymore happy memories to consider."

Lily swallowed as she came to terms with what Pigeon was saying, "Wait, so you just wanted to tell us that if one of us _dies_ that we're going to end up like you?"

"All I'm telling you is what I wish I'd known when I met Mira." Professor Pigeon snapped, "Love is the most powerful magic we have to offer and in the dark times you're both headed for, _respectively_ , your love will be your strength."

Lily didn't know what to say but it seemed James didn't either.

Pigeon had enough however and waved his wand at them both, "Get out so I can listen to my opera in peace."

"Yes sir." James muttered, tugging Lily out of her chair and into the hallway just as the loud opera music echoed through the Defense hallways.

"Well that was interesting." Lily said hotly.

James kissed the side of her head thoughtfully, "I don't ever want to end up like him."

Lily had to agree that it sounded like no fun thing, to walk the earth without James Potter following closely behind. James stared at their feet, lost in thought. Lily tucked her fingers under his chin, making him look her in the eyes. She saw the spark of passion, the one she'd fallen in love with before she even knew she loved him.

"Together, or not at all." She told him.

James pushed her against the wall; "I won't leave you if you won't leave me."

She laughed against his enticing mouth, knowing they were seventeen and knowing they still had to graduate and face the world head on, but not feeling an ounce of panic over it. As long as she had James at her side, as long as she had her happiest memory, she'd be ready to take on anything.

She murmured against his lips, "Marry me?"

James pulled back, looking at her like she was made of diamonds, "yeah?" he breathed.

Lily quirked an eyebrow, "Maybe after you meet my parents?"

James pretended to think, "Fine," he countered, "But only if you meet _my_ parents."

"Fine." She grinned, tucking her fingers around his tie, "What's the date?"

James grinned, "November 1979."

"A year from now?" Lily tucked one of her legs through his impishly.

James nuzzled his nose to hers, "That's right around the same time I decided I was in love with you."

"Do you have a specific date?"

"November 22nd to be specific."

"You made that up." Lily was luminous under his ecstatic grin.

"Did not."

"Alright." Lily replied, giving in quickly, "We'll have a November wedding."

"Should we tell everyone now?" James asked coyly, "Give them time to buy us expensive wedding gifts?"

Lily snorted, "Well Sirius is already working on his Best Man speech apparently."

James winked, "I'll speak to Mary about a Maid of Honor speech."

Lily actually laughed out loud and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, "Let's tell her," she said, "Let's tell everyone!"

"Really?" he seemed surprised by her answer.

Lily flicked his glasses with one hand, "Of course," she said, "You can't please everyone... _besides_...I can't wait to show off my ring."

James played with her hair, "I'll have to wait to get you the ring until after Easter Hols, mum'll want it polished..."

"It's fine." Lily replied before pulling him in for another kiss, "From what old Pigeon said, I don't have to worry about finding anyone else more perfect for me than you."

* * *

 **Listen, if you want to live on with this happy ending, DO NOT CLICK TO READ THE LAST (extra because I'm extra) CHAPTER. **

**Okay, thanks for reading this story, I love you bye.**

 **(Also drop a review? Maybe? For old times sake?)**

 **xxx**

 **Petals**


	16. Together

_16._

" _Together or not at all_."

The whisper was pulled from the depth of her mind. Lily looked up from her son Harry's crib, hearing James' limp body fall to the floor beneath them. Harry was crying and Lily wished that she could cry too but the tears weren't possible, she was so far gone she wasn't sure she'd ever cry again. She could hear the footsteps coming up the stairs and a dry and aching sob raced through her throat.

Lily Evans Potter had bravely faced so many dangers in the last four years that she had never imagined she'd sink to her knees the day she faced the darkest wizard of them all. She had never imagined that she'd live on a planet without James Potter. She had never imagined James _wouldn't_ come running up those stairs behind Voldemort, branding his wand to save his wife and son.

She never imagined fate would be so cruel to bring them together as soulmates, only to rip them apart.

Voldemort entered Harry's nursery, wand pointed at Lily's crumpled form on the floor. Lily struggled to stand over the crib, throwing her arms out, wishing she hadn't left her wand downstairs in the panic. Harry had his father's black hair, it was sticking up every which way, and another sob made it's way through her body as she imagined James, lifeless downstairs.

 _Together or not at all._

"Please." Lily never imagined she'd beg in the face of darkness, "Not Harry! Please—I'll do anything!"

"Stand _aside_ , foolish girl!"

"Not Harry!" Lily begged the cruel wizard.

Voldemort had forced the Potter's into hiding for the past year. In the last couple of months he specifically sought to kill James and Lily's son. He was a man who was so deep into darkness that he believed their child, a child conceived by pure love, would be his downfall all because one of his servant's had heard a prophecy about a boy born at the end of July. Voldemort believed that Harry, who was the perfect mix of his parents, was destined to bring him down.

" _Please_! Have mercy!"

She knew it was over for her the moment Voldemort arched his wand. Lily looked right at Voldemort, prepared to die, for Harry, in hopes that old Professor Pigeon hadn't been wrong and love would be her most powerful weapon. Perhaps, _somehow_ , Harry would make it out of the attack alive.

Lily clamped her eyes shut.

Lily remembered what it was like to love her best friend and have her best friend love her back unconditionally.

Lily remembered her patronus dancing with James' in Flitwick's classroom when they were seventeen.

Lily remembered James kissing her beneath the stars at their wedding on the 22nd of November.

Lily remembered Harry riding on his first broomstick and scaring the cat under the couch for weeks.

Lily remembered every single _I love you that_ James told them while wrapped up in blankets _._

Lily remembered James' eyes, so hazel, now shut to the world forever.

There was a flash of green beyond her eyelids and for a moment Lily was thankful that fate was at least being kind, it wouldn't make her remain alive without James any longer.

* * *

 **Yeah so this is just because I have no chill and it's technically "canon" so if you read this you can't be mad at me, I warned you. Let me know if I owe you a box of tissues.**

 **THANK YOU for sticking through the ups and downs of this story with me. You are all the greatest friends. Don't be strangers.**

 **xxx**

 **petals**


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